--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: He hadn't actually lied to her about…" description: "\"“He hadn't actually lied to her about anything; she had erred in her assumptions about his life. What Archer knew about Josie was what she chose for hi..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c3/rebecca-forster-28272_life_he-hadn-t-actually-lied-to-her-about-any_2032867.jpg" --- # He hadn't actually lied to her about anything; she had… ![“He hadn't actually lied to her about anything; she had erred in her assumptions about his life. What Archer knew about Josie was what she chose for him to know; what she knew about him was what he decided to tell her. They had reveled in their independence and now she knew that was a mistake…” quote by Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c3/rebecca-forster-28272_life_he-hadn-t-actually-lied-to-her-about-any_2032867.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c3/rebecca-forster-28272_life_he-hadn-t-actually-lied-to-her-about-any_2032867.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c3/rebecca-forster-28272_life_he-hadn-t-actually-lied-to-her-about-any_2032867.jpg) > ““He hadn't actually lied to her about anything; she had erred in her assumptions about his life. What Archer knew about Josie was what she chose for him to know; what she knew about him was what he decided to tell her. They had reveled in their independence and now she knew that was a mistake. Understanding that made her feel lost. It was natural for a lover to believe she knew everything - intuitively, instinctively and intimately - about the man she had committed to. Wasn't it?”” [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A lover’s assumption of total knowledge about a partner proves false, leading to disorientation and loss. **In simple terms:** Assuming you fully know a partner can cause confusion. Key Takeaway Question your assumptions about others. Themes relationships communication self‑deception intimacy trust Mood reflective thoughtful cautious Type psychological emotional When to use this quote - romantic relationships - personal introspection - conflict resolution Key Concepts cognitive bias emotional intimacy misunderstanding Questions to Reflect On - What assumptions do you make about loved ones? - How can you verify understanding? A Different Perspective Overconfidence in knowledge can damage intimacy. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) ## Related quotes > [The secret of success lies in realising one's mistake, understanding where one went wrong and taking steps to rectify that mistake.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-jayalalithaa/the-secret-of-success-lies-in-realising-one-s-mistake-understanding/) [J. Jayalalithaa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-jayalalithaa/) > [“...when "such things happened" it was undoubtedly foolish of the man, but somehow always criminal of the woman. 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Some Western countries have even passed blasphemy laws that would put you in legal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ali-sina/political-correctness-is-a-major-defect-of-the-western-ethos-some/) [Ali Sina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ali-sina/) > [To have lied is to have suffered.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-hugo/to-have-lied-is-to-have-suffered/) [Victor Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-hugo/) > [“He lied. I lied. Any love that starts out under a lie is bound to kill you. I just didn't want to die on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karina-halle/he-lied-i-lied-any-love-that-starts-out-under-a-lie-is-bound-to-kill/) [Karina Halle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karina-halle/) > [Tal told me he loved me, and told me and told me, but you don't tell someone that and then tell them they're not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cohn/tal-told-me-he-loved-me-and-told-me-and-told-me-but-you-don-t-tell/) [Rachel Cohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cohn/) > [Betrayal is a serious thing in this world,you know what else is serious? Being lied to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sabrina/betrayal-is-a-serious-thing-in-this-world-you-know-what-else-is/) [Sabrina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sabrina/) > [“Are you alright?" he asked warily. "Sure," I lied as I turned and headed for the stairs. So softly that only a werewolf could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathleen-peacock/are-you-alright-he-asked-warily-sure-i-lied-as-i-turned-and-headed/) [Kathleen Peacock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathleen-peacock/) > [Its taken me months, and months to finally believe youre alive. Still breathing, smiling, touching, walking, thinking, and so much more. I think this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brianna-c/its-taken-me-months-and-months-to-finally-believe-youre-alive-still/) Brianna C > [We're in more wars today under Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton than under George W. Bush or Ronald Reagan. Yet they tell you that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/we-re-in-more-wars-today-under-barack-obama-and-hillary-clinton-than/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [Maturity is reached the day we don't need to be lied to about anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-yerby/maturity-is-reached-the-day-we-don-t-need-to-be-lied-to-about-anything/) [Frank Yerby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-yerby/) > [I'm Not A Star, Sombody Lied I Got Pistol In My Car, A Forty Five.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-ross/i-m-not-a-star-sombody-lied-i-got-pistol-in-my-car-a-forty-five/) [Rick Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-ross/) > [There's this American pretense, which is the pretense of the journalist with the view from nowhere - which has somehow morphed into the journalist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/masha-gessen/there-s-this-american-pretense-which-is-the-pretense-of-the/) [Masha Gessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/masha-gessen/) > [In any event, it is one thing to assert, then or now, that the Iraq war was ill-advised. It is quite another to make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurence-silberman/in-any-event-it-is-one-thing-to-assert-then-or-now-that-the-iraq-war/) [Laurence Silberman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurence-silberman/) ## More by Rebecca Forster > [“A little gift from her mother who made Linda what she was –a damn survivor.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/a-little-gift-from-her-mother-who-made-linda-what-she-was-a-damn/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“They would drift away like people did if there was nothing to tie them down or hold them steady.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/they-would-drift-away-like-people-did-if-there-was-nothing-to-tie/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“thirty-year legal career. His robes were tossed on the couch behind them. His desk served as a workstation”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/thirty-year-legal-career-his-robes-were-tossed-on-the-couch-behind/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“Now Josie knew she kept them to remind her that broken things can be mended, but there is always a scar.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/now-josie-knew-she-kept-them-to-remind-her-that-broken-things-can-be/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“Crime was like litter tossed on the highway: once it was shoved out the window the only ones who cared were the ones close…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/crime-was-like-litter-tossed-on-the-highway-once-it-was-shoved-out/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“Hannah had a future if she could just settle down.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/hannah-had-a-future-if-she-could-just-settle-down/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“she was an army of one and was stronger than the invading force.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/she-was-an-army-of-one-and-was-stronger-than-the-invading-force/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“But love him? No. She was broken somewhere inside. She couldn’t love like other people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/but-love-him-no-she-was-broken-somewhere-inside-she-couldn-t-love/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“It was a week ago today that Judge Rayburn died in a fire that swept through his Pacific Palisades home in the early morning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/it-was-a-week-ago-today-that-judge-rayburn-died-in-a-fire-that-swept/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“Hannah kept her eyes forward, trained on two rows of rusted showerheads stuck in facing walls. Sixteen in all. The room was paved with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/hannah-kept-her-eyes-forward-trained-on-two-rows-of-rusted/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“No human being could live forever in the shadowy land of worry or carry the burden of righteousness every waking moment”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/no-human-being-could-live-forever-in-the-shadowy-land-of-worry-or/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“She had learned that evil had the fattest wallet and most chaste face of all.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/she-had-learned-that-evil-had-the-fattest-wallet-and-most-chaste-face/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“All this stuff was like air: essential and expected, missed only when taken away.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/all-this-stuff-was-like-air-essential-and-expected-missed-only-when/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“Today California buried Supreme Court Justice, Fritz Rayburn. Governor Joe Davidson delivered the eulogy calling the judge a friend, a confidant, and his brother…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/today-california-buried-supreme-court-justice-fritz-rayburn-governor/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) > [“Every time I try to play by rules I get smashed into the ground.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-forster/every-time-i-try-to-play-by-rules-i-get-smashed-into-the-ground/) [Rebecca Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) [Explore all 19 Rebecca Forster quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-forster/) ## More Heart quotes > [Against his own will, almost, Will felt himself understanding; he would have done anything, he thought, told any lie, taken any risk, to make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/against-his-own-will-almost-will-felt-himself-understanding-he-would/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [“He held her like a new woman and what she felt felt almost as good as love had, and each of them called it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-dunn/he-held-her-like-a-new-woman-and-what-she-felt-felt-almost-as-good-as/) [Stephen Dunn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-dunn/) > [While we've youth in our hearts, we can never grow old.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-wendell-holmes-jr/while-we-ve-youth-in-our-hearts-we-can-never-grow-old/) [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-wendell-holmes-jr/) > [My heart jumps out of its cage to see what the fuss is about. Damn thing. Always so hopeful, but my voice hides it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-wylie/my-heart-jumps-out-of-its-cage-to-see-what-the-fuss-is-about-damn/) [Sarah Wylie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-wylie/) > [I love because there is not enough room in my heart to hate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rena-kornreich-gelissen/i-love-because-there-is-not-enough-room-in-my-heart-to-hate/) Rena Kornreich Gelissen > [“He didn't break my heart. No one can break your heart except you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-zevin/he-didn-t-break-my-heart-no-one-can-break-your-heart-except-you/) [Gabrielle Zevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-zevin/) > [The United States cannot and should not discriminate on the basis of religion. The free exercise of religion is at the very heart of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-pence/the-united-states-cannot-and-should-not-discriminate-on-the-basis-of/) [Mike Pence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-pence/) > [Love is like that, fragile and light. No wonder it rests upon our hearts in intangible moments, bids us follow fleeting thoughts and ideas…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/love-is-like-that-fragile-and-light-no-wonder-it-rests-upon-our/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [When we are capable of living in the moment free from the tyranny of "shoulds," free from the nagging sensation that this moment isn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-z-borysenko/when-we-are-capable-of-living-in-the-moment-free-from-the-tyranny-of/) [Joan Z. Borysenko](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-z-borysenko/) > [My father longed for a better life for us, and when I was nine he got a job as a heart surgeon in Belfast.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-melua/my-father-longed-for-a-better-life-for-us-and-when-i-was-nine-he-got/) [Katie Melua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-melua/) > [O tiger's heart wrapped in a woman's hide!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/o-tiger-s-heart-wrapped-in-a-woman-s-hide/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [Love will fan the flame, and that flame will warm the heart that's waiting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-w-smith/love-will-fan-the-flame-and-that-flame-will-warm-the-heart-that-s/) [Michael W. Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-w-smith/) > [Always have the fear of God in your heart, and remember that God is always with you, everywhere, whether you are walking or sitting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gennadius-of-constantinople/always-have-the-fear-of-god-in-your-heart-and-remember-that-god-is/) [Gennadius of Constantinople](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gennadius-of-constantinople/) > [Set NOT your hearts on the flowers of this world. They shall fade and die. Prize the Rose of Sharon and the Lily of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/set-not-your-hearts-on-the-flowers-of-this-world-they-shall-fade-and/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“She couldn't break the orbit.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victoria-schwab/she-couldn-t-break-the-orbit/) [Victoria Schwab](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victoria-schwab/) [Browse all 45,172 Heart quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“He hadn't actually lied to her about anything; she had erred in her assumptions about his life. What Archer knew about Josie was what she chose for him to know; what she knew about him was what he decided to tell her. They had reveled in their independence and now she knew that was a mistake. Understanding that made her feel lost. 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