--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The woman who thinks she can choose…" description: "\"The woman who thinks she can choose femininity, can toy with it like the social drinker toys with wine - well, she's asking for it, asking to be undone..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/310/rachel-cusk-3482_asking_the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femi_2808231.png" --- # The woman who thinks she can choose femininity, can toy… ![“The woman who thinks she can choose femininity, can toy with it like the social drinker toys with wine - well, she's asking for it, asking to be undone, devoured, asking to spend her life perpetrating a new fraud, manufacturing a new fake identity, only this time it's her equality that's fake.” quote by Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/310/rachel-cusk-3482_asking_the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femi_2808231.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/310/rachel-cusk-3482_asking_the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femi_2808231.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/310/rachel-cusk-3482_asking_the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femi_2808231.png) > “The woman who thinks she can choose femininity, can toy with it like the social drinker toys with wine - well, she's asking for it, asking to be undone, devoured, asking to spend her life perpetrating a new fraud, manufacturing a new fake identity, only this time it's her equality that's fake.” [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote critiques women who manipulate gender norms for personal gain, suggesting they create a false sense of equality that ultimately undermines authenticity. **In simple terms:** Women who fake equality lose authenticity. Key Takeaway Beware of using gender as a tool for personal advantage. Themes gender authenticity power identity feminism Mood critical reflective Type analytical commentary When to use this quote - activism - personal branding - media representation - political discourse Key Concepts social performance gender construction identity fabrication Questions to Reflect On - How does society shape the way women perform femininity? - Can true equality be achieved without performance? A Different Perspective The critique may overlook systemic pressures that limit genuine expression. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Asking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asking/) [Choose Femininity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choose-femininity-3500837/) [Drinkers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drinkers/) [Equality Fake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/equality-fake-3500835/) [Fake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fake/) [Fake Identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fake-identity-216080/) [Femininity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/femininity/) [Femininity Toy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/femininity-toy-3500836/) [Fraud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fraud/) [Identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identity/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Manufacturing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/manufacturing/) [Social](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) [Toys](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/toys/) [Undone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/undone/) [Wells](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wells/) [Wine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wine/) [Woman Thinks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/woman-thinks-415234/) ## Related quotes > [Even if a financial institution rejects an initial application by an individual using a synthetic identity, credit bureaus create a record from the transaction…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth-moulton/even-if-a-financial-institution-rejects-an-initial-application-by-an/) [Seth Moulton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth-moulton/) > [“You need my help? What for? Bread, cash, a fake identity to help you slip sideways through the cracks? Tell me what you need,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregory-maguire/you-need-my-help-what-for-bread-cash-a-fake-identity-to-help-you-slip/) [Gregory Maguire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregory-maguire/) > [“She tasted disgusting , worse than Gurdyroots! Okay, Ron, come here so I can do you…” “Right, but remember, I don’t like the beard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-k-rowling/she-tasted-disgusting-worse-than-gurdyroots-okay-ron-come-here-so-i/) [J.K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-k-rowling/) > [The woman who thinks she is intelligent demands equal rights with men. A woman who is intelligent does not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sidonie-gabrielle-colette/the-woman-who-thinks-she-is-intelligent-demands-equal-rights-with-men/) [Sidonie Gabrielle Colette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sidonie-gabrielle-colette/) > [“That woman thinks you've been waiting your whole life to believe in something, and she's ready to tell you what it should be.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-yi/that-woman-thinks-you-ve-been-waiting-your-whole-life-to-believe-in/) [Esther Yi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-yi/) > [I know a good woman who thinks that her son lost his life because he took to drinking water only.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/i-know-a-good-woman-who-thinks-that-her-son-lost-his-life-because-he/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [“There are three stupids: A woman who thinks she does not deserve more, a man who believes he is superior, and a God who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-f-moonzajer/there-are-three-stupids-a-woman-who-thinks-she-does-not-deserve-more/) [M.F. Moonzajer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-f-moonzajer/) > [Behind it was that vast suspension bridge which always troubles me because it reminds me that in this mechanized age I am as little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-west/behind-it-was-that-vast-suspension-bridge-which-always-troubles-me/) [Rebecca West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-west/) > [I know how a woman thinks - that doesn't mean that I agree with it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/the-dream/i-know-how-a-woman-thinks-that-doesn-t-mean-that-i-agree-with-it/) [The-Dream](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/the-dream/) > [“What a Crazy Woman Thinks About While Walking Down the Street She tries to walk not too fast and not too slow. She doesn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/what-a-crazy-woman-thinks-about-while-walking-down-the-street-she/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I think too much, and 99.9 per cent of men don’t want to get involved with a woman who thinks too much.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hui-wei/i-think-too-much-and-99-9-per-cent-of-men-don-t-want-to-get-involved/) [Hui Wei](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hui-wei/) > [“Some people might say it's not smart to be so insecure about what you wear. But that's not how I see it. The stupid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/some-people-might-say-it-s-not-smart-to-be-so-insecure-about-what-you/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [“She never looked away. What a Crazy Woman Thinks About While Walking Down the Street She tries to walk not too fast and not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/she-never-looked-away-what-a-crazy-woman-thinks-about-while-walking/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I'm not surprised he wants to challenge me here, where no one can protect me. He thinks I'm a weak woman. He thinks wrong.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-day-gilbert/i-m-not-surprised-he-wants-to-challenge-me-here-where-no-one-can/) [Heather Day Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-day-gilbert/) > [The stupid woman is the one who thinks she doesn’t need any help.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/the-stupid-woman-is-the-one-who-thinks-she-doesn-t-need-any-help/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) ## More by Rachel Cusk > [A creative writing workshop will contain students whose ambitions and abilities, whose conceptions of literature itself, are so diverse that what they have in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/a-creative-writing-workshop-will-contain-students-whose-ambitions-and/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [“If a man had a nasty side to his character, she wanted to get to it immediately and confront it. She didn’t want it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/if-a-man-had-a-nasty-side-to-his-character-she-wanted-to-get-to-it/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [If I know somebody is coming 'round, it is incredibly difficult for me to work because I'm waiting for this interruption - even the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/if-i-know-somebody-is-coming-round-it-is-incredibly-difficult-for-me/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [I felt that I could swim for miles, out into the ocean: a desire for freedom, an impulse to move, tugged at me as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/i-felt-that-i-could-swim-for-miles-out-into-the-ocean-a-desire-for/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [The creativity of childhood was often surrendered amid feelings of unworthiness. So the idea that others are demanding to be given it back -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/the-creativity-of-childhood-was-often-surrendered-amid-feelings-of/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [A neighbor is something that belongs to the stable world of home life, the thing that lives next door to you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/a-neighbor-is-something-that-belongs-to-the-stable-world-of-home-life/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [Help is dangerous because it exists outside the human economy: the only payment for help is gratitude.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/help-is-dangerous-because-it-exists-outside-the-human-economy-the/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [A feminist man is a bit like a vegetarian: it's the humanitarian principle he's defending, I suppose.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/a-feminist-man-is-a-bit-like-a-vegetarian-it-s-the-humanitarian/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [Feminism remains something that needs to be explained to people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/feminism-remains-something-that-needs-to-be-explained-to-people/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [“At the time, he had got rid of her so efficiently and so suavely that she had felt almost reassured even as she was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/at-the-time-he-had-got-rid-of-her-so-efficiently-and-so-suavely-that/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [“From the distance of England the Italian cuisine seems to be all things to all people. It does not expect you to bend to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/from-the-distance-of-england-the-italian-cuisine-seems-to-be-all/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [You could time a suburban story by your watch: it lasts as long as it takes a small furry animal that's lonely to find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/you-could-time-a-suburban-story-by-your-watch-it-lasts-as-long-as-it/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [It is expected that a children's story will raise a difficulty and then resolve it: increasingly, this resolution is so prompt and so resounding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/it-is-expected-that-a-children-s-story-will-raise-a-difficulty-and/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [Human beings have a need, generally, to destroy things. The Freudian principle of civilisation is correct. There's always, always a difference between the family…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/human-beings-have-a-need-generally-to-destroy-things-the-freudian/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [I don't think I knew that you could be a novelist. I think a lot of my students are in the same condition. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/i-don-t-think-i-knew-that-you-could-be-a-novelist-i-think-a-lot-of-my/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) [Explore all 128 Rachel Cusk quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) ## More Asking quotes > [Why did Erich von Stronheim leave Germany? Why did Hitchcock leave England? If you were a director you'd like to work in Hollywood too.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roman-polanski/why-did-erich-von-stronheim-leave-germany-why-did-hitchcock-leave/) [Roman Polanski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roman-polanski/) > [And in your new lives you'll have to live entirely for that one sensation-that of imminent truth. And you're going to have to holler…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-coupland/and-in-your-new-lives-you-ll-have-to-live-entirely-for-that-one/) [Douglas Coupland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-coupland/) > [“Stop asking yourself how or why and tell yourself you can." - Charmainism”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charmaine-smith-ladd/stop-asking-yourself-how-or-why-and-tell-yourself-you-can-charmainism/) [Charmaine Smith Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charmaine-smith-ladd/) > [Closing his eyes, he sent up a prayer to anyone who was listening, asking please, for God's sake, stop sending him signals that they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-ward/closing-his-eyes-he-sent-up-a-prayer-to-anyone-who-was-listening/) [J.R. Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-ward/) > [People will identify with a persecuted minority without asking themselves what they are identifying with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hilary-mantel/people-will-identify-with-a-persecuted-minority-without-asking/) [Hilary Mantel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hilary-mantel/) > [If you're having a bad day already and everybody is just asking you petty questions, it drives people to the edge, or something really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jess-weixler/if-you-re-having-a-bad-day-already-and-everybody-is-just-asking-you/) [Jess Weixler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jess-weixler/) > [You never give away your heart; you lend it from time to time. If it were not so, how could we take it back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/you-never-give-away-your-heart-you-lend-it-from-time-to-time-if-it/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [I'm not asking people to feel sorry for me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-abramoff/i-m-not-asking-people-to-feel-sorry-for-me/) [Jack Abramoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-abramoff/) > [The boldness of asking deep questions may require unforeseen flexibility if we are to accept the answers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-greene/the-boldness-of-asking-deep-questions-may-require-unforeseen/) [Brian Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-greene/) > [Use Google Before Asking A Stupid Question.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muskaan/use-google-before-asking-a-stupid-question/) [Muskaan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muskaan/) > [There were people asking 'Can women be funny?' People still ask that. It's like asking: 'Can women breathe in and out?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-walters/there-were-people-asking-can-women-be-funny-people-still-ask-that-it/) [Julie Walters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-walters/) > [Whether that's speaking up in your job or asking for a promotion or saying, 'I think I can do that.' Using your voice in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-shriver/whether-that-s-speaking-up-in-your-job-or-asking-for-a-promotion-or/) [Maria Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-shriver/) > [Love cannot be had for the asking; it comes only as a gift from the heart of another](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paramahansa-yogananda/love-cannot-be-had-for-the-asking-it-comes-only-as-a-gift-from-the/) [Paramahansa Yogananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paramahansa-yogananda/) > [The Baseball Hall of Fame is something every player dreams about, but being a member of God's Hall of Fame is the greatest achievement…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-carter/the-baseball-hall-of-fame-is-something-every-player-dreams-about-but/) [Gary Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-carter/) > [“In such a regime, I say you died a good death if your life had inspired someone to come forward and shoot your murdered…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chinua-achebe/in-such-a-regime-i-say-you-died-a-good-death-if-your-life-had/) [Chinua Achebe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chinua-achebe/) [Browse all 3,313 Asking quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asking/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The woman who thinks she can choose femininity, can toy with it like the social drinker toys with wine - well, she's asking for it, asking to be undone, devoured, asking to spend her life perpetrating a new fraud, manufacturing a new fake identity, only this time it's her equality that's fake.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Rachel Cusk" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femininity-can-toy-with-it-like/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Asking" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femininity-can-toy-with-it-like/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/310/rachel-cusk-3482_asking_the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femi_2808231.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/310/rachel-cusk-3482_asking_the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femi_2808231.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/310/rachel-cusk-3482_asking_the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femi_2808231.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The woman who thinks she can choose femininity, can toy with it like the social drinker toys with wine…” — Rachel Cusk", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Rachel Cusk", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "The woman who thinks she can...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femininity-can-toy-with-it-like/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/the-woman-who-thinks-she-can-choose-femininity-can-toy-with-it-like/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```