--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: That's the thing about marriage. It's a…" description: "\"That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/942/r-k-milholland-17910_games_that-s-the-thing-about-marriage-it-s-a-s_591439.png" --- # That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play… ![“That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ourselves that we can win.” quote by R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/942/r-k-milholland-17910_games_that-s-the-thing-about-marriage-it-s-a-s_591439.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/942/r-k-milholland-17910_games_that-s-the-thing-about-marriage-it-s-a-s_591439.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/942/r-k-milholland-17910_games_that-s-the-thing-about-marriage-it-s-a-s_591439.png) > “That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ourselves that we can win.” [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Marriage often feels like a deceptive game where participants hope to win despite inevitable loss. **In simple terms:** Marriage can feel like a risky game. Key Takeaway Enter relationships with realistic expectations. Themes relationships risk self‑deception Mood reflective cautious Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - dating - marriage counseling - long‑term partnership Key Concepts psychology trust expectations Questions to Reflect On - What are the hidden benefits of commitment? - How can honesty change the “game”? A Different Perspective Overlooks positive growth possible in marriage. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Games](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/games/) [Lying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lying/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Play](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/play/) [Winning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/winning/) ## Related quotes > [You don't lose because of one play.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sergio-busquets/you-don-t-lose-because-of-one-play/) [Sergio Busquets](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sergio-busquets/) > [Every game I play, I always win but in love in love and friendship I always lose because I never play with it](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sushan/every-game-i-play-i-always-win-but-in-love-in-love-and-friendship-i/) [Sushan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sushan/) > [“You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play. It's the playing that's irresistible.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/you-play-you-win-you-play-you-lose-you-play-it-s-the-playing-that-s-2/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [I am a sore loser. I've always been like that ever s'nce I started playin' sports and just life in general. I hate to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/snoop-dogg/i-am-a-sore-loser-i-ve-always-been-like-that-ever-s-nce-i-started/) [Snoop Dogg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/snoop-dogg/) > [Call me whatever, You can call me names. I'd rather lose then to play your games. As long as I get the offer when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/juju/call-me-whatever-you-can-call-me-names-i-d-rather-lose-then-to-play/) [Juju](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/juju/) > [Love is a game.. You play it badly you lose, you cheat you lose, your too nice you lose, so how do u play…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kagai-bass/love-is-a-game-you-play-it-badly-you-lose-you-cheat-you-lose-your-too/) Kagai Bass > [You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/you-play-you-win-you-play-you-lose-you-play/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [Whenever Germany lose or play badly, there are 1,000 reasons. And no matter how many questions there are, we will never make everyone happy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-muller/whenever-germany-lose-or-play-badly-there-are-1-000-reasons-and-no/) [Thomas Muller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-muller/) > [I am disappointed when I lose and don't play well, for example. But it is not so disappointing to lose when you play good.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mats-wilander/i-am-disappointed-when-i-lose-and-don-t-play-well-for-example-but-it/) [Mats Wilander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mats-wilander/) > [Some losses are harder to take than others. You can lose and play well. It is when you lose and don't do the things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alun-wyn-jones/some-losses-are-harder-to-take-than-others-you-can-lose-and-play-well/) [Alun Wyn Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alun-wyn-jones/) > [Grantland Rice, the great sportswriter once said, 'It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.' Well Grantland Rice can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-autry/grantland-rice-the-great-sportswriter-once-said-it-s-not-whether-you/) [Gene Autry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-autry/) > [You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play. It’s the playing that’s irresistible. Dicing from one year to the next with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/you-play-you-win-you-play-you-lose-you-play-it-s-the-playing-that-s/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [We approach markets backwards. The first thing we ask is not what can we make, but how much can we lose. We play a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-hite/we-approach-markets-backwards-the-first-thing-we-ask-is-not-what-can/) [Larry Hite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-hite/) > [“It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grantland-rice/it-s-not-whether-you-win-or-lose-it-s-how-you-play-the-game/) [Grantland Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grantland-rice/) > [Life is not a spectator sport; win, lose or draw, the game is in progress whether we want it to be or not. So…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meredith-grey/life-is-not-a-spectator-sport-win-lose-or-draw-the-game-is-in/) [Meredith Grey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meredith-grey/) ## More by R. K. Milholland > [Ed Wood served a great purpose - mainly making writers feel better about their work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/ed-wood-served-a-great-purpose-mainly-making-writers-feel-better/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [It's not a matter of whether or not someone's watching over you. It's just a question of their intentions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/it-s-not-a-matter-of-whether-or-not-someone-s-watching-over-you-it-s/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [Nothing like a lot of exercise to make you realize you'd rather be lazy and dead sooner.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/nothing-like-a-lot-of-exercise-to-make-you-realize-you-d-rather-be/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [Could you imagine how horrible things would be if we always told others how we felt? Life would be intolerably bearable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/could-you-imagine-how-horrible-things-would-be-if-we-always-told/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [Why do we have to wait for special moments to say nice things or tell people we care about them?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/why-do-we-have-to-wait-for-special-moments-to-say-nice-things-or-tell/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [The grass is always greener once you don't have to mow a lawn anymore.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/the-grass-is-always-greener-once-you-don-t-have-to-mow-a-lawn-anymore/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [You can't show love to someone at the expense of someone else who loves you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/you-can-t-show-love-to-someone-at-the-expense-of-someone-else-who/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/lies-are-like-children-if-you-don-t-nurture-them-they-ll-never-be/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [The shortest verse in the Bible is 'Jesus wept.' The only thing wrong with it is the past tense.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/the-shortest-verse-in-the-bible-is-jesus-wept-the-only-thing-wrong/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [Sometimes old things need to go away. That way, we have room for the new things that come into our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/sometimes-old-things-need-to-go-away-that-way-we-have-room-for-the/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [That's the thing with suicide pacts. Sometimes they only really work if they catch you by surprise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/that-s-the-thing-with-suicide-pacts-sometimes-they-only-really-work/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/the-only-thing-that-lasts-longer-than-a-friend-s-love-is-the/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/it-hurts-to-find-out-that-what-you-wanted-doesn-t-match-what-you/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [Things aren't magically better if that's what you're hoping for. It's not that simple.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/things-aren-t-magically-better-if-that-s-what-you-re-hoping-for-it-s/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) > [A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-k-milholland/a-birthday-wish-granted-23-years-late-is-still-a-birthday-wish-granted/) [R. K. Milholland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) [Explore all 36 R. K. Milholland quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-k-milholland/) ## More Games quotes > [Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/scrabble-the-game-is-available-in-braille-that-s-a-nice-fact-this/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I know that in the rap game you've got a lot of people, that come from poverty, was born in poverty and if it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-connor/i-know-that-in-the-rap-game-you-ve-got-a-lot-of-people-that-come-from/) [Jon Connor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-connor/) > [And I have been very blessed, having coached some of the greatest that have ever played the game. But if I had to start…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/red-auerbach/and-i-have-been-very-blessed-having-coached-some-of-the-greatest-that/) [Red Auerbach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/red-auerbach/) > [Talented people can predict with great accuracy what's about to happen just a tiny bit ahead of their competitors. It might be two seconds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-maney/talented-people-can-predict-with-great-accuracy-what-s-about-to/) [Kevin Maney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-maney/) > [I'd noticed him watching me for a year or so, especially when we'd play games where there was running or jumping.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-owens/i-d-noticed-him-watching-me-for-a-year-or-so-especially-when-we-d/) [Jesse Owens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-owens/) > [You just can't let the outside world affect your game.You can't hold anything back. You can't play a different game.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-palmer/you-just-can-t-let-the-outside-world-affect-your-game-you-can-t-hold/) [Carson Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-palmer/) > [Look at music for what it's worth around the world and not just America. In other countries, people are still buying CDs and going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/snoop-dogg/look-at-music-for-what-it-s-worth-around-the-world-and-not-just/) [Snoop Dogg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/snoop-dogg/) > [I learned so much from Sue about the Xs and Os of the game of basketball.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pat-summitt/i-learned-so-much-from-sue-about-the-xs-and-os-of-the-game-of/) [Pat Summitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pat-summitt/) > [Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jasper-fforde/palindrome-as-well-my-sister-s-name-is-hannah-father-liked-word-games/) [Jasper Fforde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jasper-fforde/) > [And the seasons they go 'round and 'round And the painted ponies go up and down We're captive on the carousel of time We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joni-mitchell/and-the-seasons-they-go-round-and-round-and-the-painted-ponies-go-up/) [Joni Mitchell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joni-mitchell/) > [You got to harden yourself. Make, like, a shell around you. But not everyone can do it. If they got nothing to hang on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-higson/you-got-to-harden-yourself-make-like-a-shell-around-you-but-not/) [Charlie Higson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-higson/) > [Playing video games is something I enjoy in my spare time. I'm a gamer, always have been.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-garnett/playing-video-games-is-something-i-enjoy-in-my-spare-time-i-m-a-gamer/) [Kevin Garnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-garnett/) > [“Let the motherfucking games begin.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-mchugh/let-the-motherfucking-games-begin/) [Gail McHugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-mchugh/) > [If a Coach is determined to stay in the coaching profession, he will develop from year to year. This much is true, no coach…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adolph-rupp/if-a-coach-is-determined-to-stay-in-the-coaching-profession-he-will/) [Adolph Rupp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adolph-rupp/) > [Kids, if anything, are harder to write for because they are a more discerning audience. They will not stay with you if you go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/kids-if-anything-are-harder-to-write-for-because-they-are-a-more/) [Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/) [Browse all 11,463 Games quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/games/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ourselves that we can win.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "R. K. 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