--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What you lend is lost; when you ask for…" description: "\"What you lend is lost; when you ask for it back, you may find a friend made an enemy by your kindness. If you begin to press him further, you have the ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ea/plautus-1263_asks_what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-i_143161.jpg" --- # What you lend is lost; when you ask for it back, you may… ![“What you lend is lost; when you ask for it back, you may find a friend made an enemy by your kindness. If you begin to press him further, you have the choice of two things--either to lose your loan or lose your friend.” quote by Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ea/plautus-1263_asks_what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-i_143161.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ea/plautus-1263_asks_what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-i_143161.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ea/plautus-1263_asks_what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-i_143161.jpg) > “What you lend is lost; when you ask for it back, you may find a friend made an enemy by your kindness. If you begin to press him further, you have the choice of two things--either to lose your loan or lose your friend.” [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Lending can turn kindness into conflict; demanding repayment may jeopardize relationships. **In simple terms:** Kindness can become a source of tension when you ask for it back. Key Takeaway Weigh the cost of reclaiming a loan against the value of the friendship. Themes friendship kindness conflict financial relationships Mood reflective cautious Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - personal finance - family disputes - business loans Key Concepts reciprocity trust boundaries Questions to Reflect On - Is the loan worth losing a friend? - How can you ask for repayment without harming the relationship? A Different Perspective Pressing for repayment may destroy the bond you cherish. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/) [Enemy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/enemy/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Kindness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kindness/) [Loss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loss/) ## Related quotes > [A ready way to lose your friend is to lend him money. Another equally ready way to lose him is to refuse to lend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-jean-nathan/a-ready-way-to-lose-your-friend-is-to-lend-him-money-another-equally/) [George Jean Nathan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-jean-nathan/) > [“There are two sure ways to lose a friend, one is to borrow, the other to lend.” Besides,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/there-are-two-sure-ways-to-lose-a-friend-one-is-to-borrow-the-other/) [Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/) > [“As my father used to say: "There are two sure ways to lose a friend, one is to borrow, the other to lend.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/as-my-father-used-to-say-there-are-two-sure-ways-to-lose-a-friend-one/) [Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/) > [Give, and you may keep your friend it you lose your money; lend, and the chances are that you lose your friend if ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/give-and-you-may-keep-your-friend-it-you-lose-your-money-lend-and-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [There are two sure ways to lose a friend, one is to borrow, the other to lend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/there-are-two-sure-ways-to-lose-a-friend-one-is-to-borrow-the-other-2/) [Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/) > [Lend your money and lose your friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-caxton/lend-your-money-and-lose-your-friend/) [William Caxton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-caxton/) > [When you lend money to a friend you usually lose your friend plus interest.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-dangoor/when-you-lend-money-to-a-friend-you-usually-lose-your-friend-plus/) [Robert D Dangoor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-dangoor/) > [When you ask one friend to dine, Give him your best wine! When you ask two, The second best will do!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-wadsworth-longfellow/when-you-ask-one-friend-to-dine-give-him-your-best-wine-when-you-ask/) [Henry Wadsworth Longfellow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-wadsworth-longfellow/) > [“Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/not-anything-specific-really-they-just-knew-and-i-think-that-s-all/) [Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/) > [They who dare to ask anything of a friend, by their very request seem to imply that they would do anything for the sake…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-tullius-cicero/they-who-dare-to-ask-anything-of-a-friend-by-their-very-request-seem/) [Marcus Tullius Cicero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-tullius-cicero/) > [I ask my friend -what is your story?- because I want to give the answer of mine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-ask-my-friend-what-is-your-story-because-i-want-to-give-the-answer/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [When I ask my husband, for example, if he's talked to his childhood best friend recently, he always tells me yes and that they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brett-cooper/when-i-ask-my-husband-for-example-if-he-s-talked-to-his-childhood/) [Brett Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brett-cooper/) > [You'll always be my sister; I only ask that you be my friend, too!!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-ll-always-be-my-sister-i-only-ask-that-you-be-my-friend-too/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [And he was my friend. Not that he wouldn't kill me if things turned out that way, but he wouldn't like doing it. With…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/and-he-was-my-friend-not-that-he-wouldn-t-kill-me-if-things-turned/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/they-just-knew-and-i-think-that-s-all-you-can-ever-ask-from-a-friend/) [Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/) ## More by Plautus > [Remind a man of what he remembers, and you will make him forget it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/remind-a-man-of-what-he-remembers-and-you-will-make-him-forget-it/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [Arrogance is the outgrowth of prosperity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/arrogance-is-the-outgrowth-of-prosperity/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [I suspect that hunger was my mother.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/i-suspect-that-hunger-was-my-mother/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [He is happy in his wisdom who has learned at another's expense.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/he-is-happy-in-his-wisdom-who-has-learned-at-another-s-expense/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [He who dies for virtue does not perish.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/he-who-dies-for-virtue-does-not-perish/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [The man who would be fully employed should procure a ship or a woman, for no two things produce more trouble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/the-man-who-would-be-fully-employed-should-procure-a-ship-or-a-woman/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [If you speak insults you will hear them also.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/if-you-speak-insults-you-will-hear-them-also/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [ No man has perpetual good fortune. \[Lat., Nulli est homini perpetuum bonum.\] ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/no-man-has-perpetual-good-fortune-lat-nulli-est-homini-perpetuum-bonum/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [Things unhoped for happen oftener than things we desire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/things-unhoped-for-happen-oftener-than-things-we-desire/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [“Ut saepe summa ingenia in occulto latent (How often the greatest talents are shrouded in obscurity)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/ut-saepe-summa-ingenia-in-occulto-latent-how-often-the-greatest/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [ You little know what a ticklish thing it is to go to law. \[Lat., Nescis tu quam meticulosa res sit ire ad judicem.\] ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/you-little-know-what-a-ticklish-thing-it-is-to-go-to-law-lat-nescis/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [Modesty should accompany youth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/modesty-should-accompany-youth/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [It is wisdom to think upon anything before we execute it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/it-is-wisdom-to-think-upon-anything-before-we-execute-it/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [A woman smells well when she smells of nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/a-woman-smells-well-when-she-smells-of-nothing/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) > [No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/no-guest-is-so-welcome-in-a-friend-s-house-that-he-will-not-become-a/) [Plautus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) [Explore all 259 Plautus quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/) ## More Asks quotes > [If you ask an introvert a question, wait until she thinks about it. Introverts think before speaking, not through speaking. If you want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-helgoe/if-you-ask-an-introvert-a-question-wait-until-she-thinks-about-it/) [Laurie Helgoe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-helgoe/) > [I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-wear-a-watch-because-i-want-my-arms-to-weigh-the-same-so-if/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I am a practicing Catholic, but my lineage is Jewish, so if someone asks me if I'm Jewish, I say yes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neve-campbell/i-am-a-practicing-catholic-but-my-lineage-is-jewish-so-if-someone/) [Neve Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neve-campbell/) > [Freedom in every sense but primarily political sense, a rise in repression that stems from a repression of sexuality. It's AIDS, it's herpes, it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-nicholson/freedom-in-every-sense-but-primarily-political-sense-a-rise-in/) [Jack Nicholson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-nicholson/) > [Why did Erich von Stronheim leave Germany? Why did Hitchcock leave England? If you were a director you'd like to work in Hollywood too.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roman-polanski/why-did-erich-von-stronheim-leave-germany-why-did-hitchcock-leave/) [Roman Polanski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roman-polanski/) > [There is nothing more I ask of this life than this moment, exactly so. And suddenly forever seems like too short a time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-andreas/there-is-nothing-more-i-ask-of-this-life-than-this-moment-exactly-so/) [Brian Andreas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-andreas/) > [Success will come when the societal attitude changes and not a single woman in America asks herself the question 'What did I do?'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-biden/success-will-come-when-the-societal-attitude-changes-and-not-a-single/) [Joe Biden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-biden/) > [The most fundamental question we can ever ask ourselves is whether or not the universe we live in is friendly or hostile.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/the-most-fundamental-question-we-can-ever-ask-ourselves-is-whether-or/) [Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/) > [The rich people are apparently leaving America. They're giving up their citizenship. These great lovers of America who made their money in this country-when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-sanders/the-rich-people-are-apparently-leaving-america-they-re-giving-up/) [Bernie Sanders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-sanders/) > [There is a way to be a woman, ask for what we deserve and be able to negotiate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracee-ellis-ross/there-is-a-way-to-be-a-woman-ask-for-what-we-deserve-and-be-able-to/) [Tracee Ellis Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracee-ellis-ross/) > [For someone to ask 'Who did you play for' and to be able to answer a single name 'Liverpool' that would be brilliant...I don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jamie-carragher/for-someone-to-ask-who-did-you-play-for-and-to-be-able-to-answer-a/) [Jamie Carragher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jamie-carragher/) > [I have no hesitation in saying that although the American woman never leaves her domestic sphere and is in some respects very dependent within…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexis-de-tocqueville/i-have-no-hesitation-in-saying-that-although-the-american-woman-never/) [Alexis de Tocqueville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexis-de-tocqueville/) > [Ask God for temp'rance. That's th' appliance only Which your disease requires.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/ask-god-for-temp-rance-that-s-th-appliance-only-which-your-disease/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [I don't know how to say it exactly. Only...I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?' he asks. I shake my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-collins/i-don-t-know-how-to-say-it-exactly-only-i-want-to-die-as-myself-does/) [Suzanne Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-collins/) > [Physicist Isador Isaac Rabi, who won a Nobel Prize for inventing a technique that permitted scientists to probe the structure of atoms and molecules…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-saul-wurman/physicist-isador-isaac-rabi-who-won-a-nobel-prize-for-inventing-a/) [Richard Saul Wurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-saul-wurman/) Browse all 7,138 Asks quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "What you lend is lost; when you ask for it back, you may find a friend made an enemy by your kindness. If you begin to press him further, you have the choice of two things--either to lose your loan or lose your friend.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Plautus" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-it-back-you-may-find-a-friend/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Asks" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-it-back-you-may-find-a-friend/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ea/plautus-1263_asks_what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-i_143161.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ea/plautus-1263_asks_what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-i_143161.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ea/plautus-1263_asks_what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-i_143161.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What you lend is lost; when you ask for it back, you may find a friend made an enemy by your kindness. If…” — Plautus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Plautus", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plautus/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "What you lend is lost; when...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-it-back-you-may-find-a-friend/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plautus/what-you-lend-is-lost-when-you-ask-for-it-back-you-may-find-a-friend/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```