--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The first three years of our marriage…" description: "\"“The first three years of our marriage were miserable. Until I got a divorce. A divorce from loving myself and seeking my own way. I was reading the bo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/phil-callaway-33099_agape_the-first-three-years-of-our-marriage-we_1775428.jpg" --- # The first three years of our marriage were miserable… ![“The first three years of our marriage were miserable. Until I got a divorce. A divorce from loving myself and seeking my own way. I was reading the book of Galatians one night when I stumbled on the verse, "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me" (2:20), and the most profound thought hit me: If…” quote by Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/phil-callaway-33099_agape_the-first-three-years-of-our-marriage-we_1775428.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/phil-callaway-33099_agape_the-first-three-years-of-our-marriage-we_1775428.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f0/phil-callaway-33099_agape_the-first-three-years-of-our-marriage-we_1775428.jpg) > ““The first three years of our marriage were miserable. Until I got a divorce. A divorce from loving myself and seeking my own way. I was reading the book of Galatians one night when I stumbled on the verse, "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me" (2:20), and the most profound thought hit me: If I am dead, and Christ lives in me, can my wife see Him there? Finding the right person, I have since discovered, is less important than being the right person. The happiest married people I know discovered early on that the "better" comes after the "worse".”” [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Realizing that personal transformation, not partner choice, determines relationship happiness. **In simple terms:** Being the right person matters more than finding the right person. Key Takeaway Focus on self‑growth before seeking a partner. Themes self‑improvement relationships spirituality identity growth Mood reflective hopeful spiritual Type advice inspirational philosophical When to use this quote - marriage counseling - personal crisis - spiritual study - seeking purpose Key Concepts Christian faith self‑identity inner transformation Questions to Reflect On - How can you nurture your own growth while honoring your marriage? - What does “Christ lives in me” mean for daily choices? A Different Perspective Self‑change is hard and may cause conflict with existing relationships. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Agape](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/agape/) [Books](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/books/) [Christian marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/christian-marriage/) [Divorce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorce/) [Finding the right person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/finding-the-right-person/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Wedding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wedding/) ## Related quotes > [“The requirement by some Christians that others be Biblically 'ennobling' (lovingly building-them-up) by showing resilience & self-restraint in the face of their sin is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-patton/the-requirement-by-some-christians-that-others-be-biblically-2/) [Gary Patton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-patton/) > [“The requirement by some Christians that others be Biblically 'ennobling' (lovingly building-them-up) by showing resilience & self-restraint in the face of their sin, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-patton/the-requirement-by-some-christians-that-others-be-biblically/) [Gary Patton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-patton/) > [The silence between us was so profound I thought part of it must be my fault.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-plath/the-silence-between-us-was-so-profound-i-thought-part-of-it-must-be/) [Sylvia Plath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-plath/) > [After reading all that has been written, and after thinking all that can be thought, on the topics of God and the soul, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edgar-allan-poe/after-reading-all-that-has-been-written-and-after-thinking-all-that/) [Edgar Allan Poe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edgar-allan-poe/) > [“So here is my profound thought for the day: this is the first time I have met someone who seeks out people and who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muriel-barbery/so-here-is-my-profound-thought-for-the-day-this-is-the-first-time-i-2/) [Muriel Barbery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muriel-barbery/) > [“To write a profound thought, I have to put myself onto a very special stratum, otherwise the ideas and words just don't come. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muriel-barbery/to-write-a-profound-thought-i-have-to-put-myself-onto-a-very-special/) [Muriel Barbery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muriel-barbery/) > [“You've always mistaken my absolute self-assurance for profound thought.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/you-ve-always-mistaken-my-absolute-self-assurance-for-profound-thought/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [Nothing is more dreadful in life than the profound thought that death may only greet you with eternal nothingness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/nothing-is-more-dreadful-in-life-than-the-profound-thought-that-death/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Robert Allen said something quite profound: “No thought lives in your head rent-free.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-harv-eker/robert-allen-said-something-quite-profound-no-thought-lives-in-your/) [T. Harv Eker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-harv-eker/) > [To understand a profound thought is to have, at the moment one understands it, a profound thought oneself; and this demands some effort, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/to-understand-a-profound-thought-is-to-have-at-the-moment-one/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“So here is my profound thought for the day: This is the first time I have met someone who seeks out people and who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muriel-barbery/so-here-is-my-profound-thought-for-the-day-this-is-the-first-time-i/) [Muriel Barbery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muriel-barbery/) > [“The man not only thinks, but speaks and acts. Every thought that arises in the mind, in its rising aims to pass out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/the-man-not-only-thinks-but-speaks-and-acts-every-thought-that-arises/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [There is no reason why the profoundest thoughts should not make easy and exciting reading. A profound thought is an exciting thing as exciting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-hoffer/there-is-no-reason-why-the-profoundest-thoughts-should-not-make-easy/) [Eric Hoffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-hoffer/) > [“Notwithstanding the fact that infidels in all ages have battled for the rights of man, and have at all times been the fearless advocates…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-g-ingersoll/notwithstanding-the-fact-that-infidels-in-all-ages-have-battled-for/) [Robert G. Ingersoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-g-ingersoll/) > [A profound thought is in a constant state of becoming; it adopts the experience of a life and assumes its shape.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-camus/a-profound-thought-is-in-a-constant-state-of-becoming-it-adopts-the/) [Albert Camus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-camus/) ## More by Phil Callaway > [Most of us, when asked to gauge the richness of our lives, think immediately of people. Those who have cried with us, laughed with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/most-of-us-when-asked-to-gauge-the-richness-of-our-lives-think/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) > [In the darkest of times, laughter helps revolutionize our perspective.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/in-the-darkest-of-times-laughter-helps-revolutionize-our-perspective/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) > [“I believe there is a legitimate place for sweat and toil, but life is more than a climb to the top. Therefore, help me,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/i-believe-there-is-a-legitimate-place-for-sweat-and-toil-but-life-is/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) > [There is no better friendship booster than the ability to listen. The ability to show genuine interest in others is an admirable quality of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/there-is-no-better-friendship-booster-than-the-ability-to-listen-the/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) > [Yes, life can be rich down here. But never forget, the richest life is still to come.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/yes-life-can-be-rich-down-here-but-never-forget-the-richest-life-is/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) > [To be absent from the iPhone is to be present in the moment. Ignore it. 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He calls us to make an impact…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/god-does-not-call-us-to-rest-seven-days-a-week-with-our-head-in-the/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) > [You see, the richest people I know don't always understand what is going on. They don't always like what they see. But they have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/you-see-the-richest-people-i-know-don-t-always-understand-what-is/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) > [“The thing about burying a Christian mother is that, amid all the tears, you find yourself mimicking the grin that characterized her life. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/the-thing-about-burying-a-christian-mother-is-that-amid-all-the-tears/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) > [Those who influenced me the most are not those who pointed out all my faults, but those who knew God was bigger than my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/those-who-influenced-me-the-most-are-not-those-who-pointed-out-all-my/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) > [In a world characterized by loneliness and despair, we can reach out in love to those around us. Or, as St. Francis once said,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/in-a-world-characterized-by-loneliness-and-despair-we-can-reach-out/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) > [“We're stealing time from those who love us and giving it to those who don't. Our”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-callaway/we-re-stealing-time-from-those-who-love-us-and-giving-it-to-those-who/) [Phil Callaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) [Explore all 15 Phil Callaway quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-callaway/) ## More Agape quotes > [There's a term, agape, you hear used a lot with charismatic religious groups, that it's this more pure love of caring, of sharing of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-jackson/there-s-a-term-agape-you-hear-used-a-lot-with-charismatic-religious/) [Phil Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-jackson/) > [Agape means recognition of the fact that all life is interrelated. 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In fact, the person who receives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-apollo/agape-love-is-strengthened-by-the-person-who-expresses-it-not-by-the/) Brian Apollo > [“Every action is a losing, a letting go, a passing away from oneself of some bit of one’s own reality into the existence of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-c-mcgill/every-action-is-a-losing-a-letting-go-a-passing-away-from-oneself-of/) Arthur C. McGill > [“No doubt, God has placed you in the position to love the unlovely, whether or not you've been obedient to that command. In fact,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/no-doubt-god-has-placed-you-in-the-position-to-love-the-unlovely/) [Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/) > [What I am trying to say is that it is not without any value. The value of copies is that they can direct us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abbas-kiarostami/what-i-am-trying-to-say-is-that-it-is-not-without-any-value-the-value/) [Abbas Kiarostami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abbas-kiarostami/) > [My teenage children watched Senator Clinton on the Today Show, mouths agape. They attended our local caucus with me and saw hundreds of our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shoshana-zuboff/my-teenage-children-watched-senator-clinton-on-the-today-show-mouths/) [Shoshana Zuboff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shoshana-zuboff/) > [“ Agape is disinterested love. It is a love in which the individual seeks not his own good, but the good of his neighbor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther-king-jr-2/agape-is-disinterested-love-it-is-a-love-in-which-the-individual/) [Martin Luther King Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther-king-jr-2/) > [“To agape,” we all echoed, raising our wineglasses and drinking to higher love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/to-agape-we-all-echoed-raising-our-wineglasses-and-drinking-to-higher/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [Agape is disinterested love. . . . Agape does not begin by discriminating between worthy and unworthy people, or any qualities people possess. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther-king-jr/agape-is-disinterested-love-agape-does-not-begin-by-discriminating/) [Martin Luther King, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther-king-jr/) > [“HE remembered looking "agape" in his encyclopedia volume after he read Dr. King's speech in the DEFENDER. The newspaper ran the address in full…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colson-whitehead/he-remembered-looking-agape-in-his-encyclopedia-volume-after-he-read/) [Colson Whitehead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colson-whitehead/) > [We must never stop dreaming. Dreams provide nourishment for the soul, just as a meal does for the body. Many times in our lives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/we-must-never-stop-dreaming-dreams-provide-nourishment-for-the-soul/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [“Experience and Demonstrate the Agape Love, is far more than Gold - Go for it”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-asumadu-sarkodie/experience-and-demonstrate-the-agape-love-is-far-more-than-gold-go/) [Samuel Asumadu-Sarkodie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-asumadu-sarkodie/) > [“Sissy had two great failings. She was a great lover and a great mother. She had so much of tenderness in her, so much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-smith/sissy-had-two-great-failings-she-was-a-great-lover-and-a-great-mother/) [Betty Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-smith/) [Browse all 71 Agape quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/agape/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The first three years of our marriage were miserable. Until I got a divorce. A divorce from loving myself and seeking my own way. I was reading the book of Galatians one night when I stumbled on the verse, \"I no longer live, but Christ lives in me\" (2:20), and the most profound thought hit me: If I am dead, and Christ lives in me, can my wife see Him there? Finding the right person, I have since discovered, is less important than being the right person. 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