--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: On his thirteenth birthday he had seen a…" description: "\"“On his thirteenth birthday he had seen a film in which the central character was a painter who, unable to sell his work, grew cold and hungry as he we..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd1/peter-ackroyd-2223_achievements_on-his-thirteenth-birthday-he-had-seen-a_2394856.jpg" --- # On his thirteenth birthday he had seen a film in which the… ![“On his thirteenth birthday he had seen a film in which the central character was a painter who, unable to sell his work, grew cold and hungry as he went from one unsuccessful interview to the next; eventually he had become a vagrant, sleeping in the streets of the city where once he had walked in…” quote by Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd1/peter-ackroyd-2223_achievements_on-his-thirteenth-birthday-he-had-seen-a_2394856.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd1/peter-ackroyd-2223_achievements_on-his-thirteenth-birthday-he-had-seen-a_2394856.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd1/peter-ackroyd-2223_achievements_on-his-thirteenth-birthday-he-had-seen-a_2394856.jpg) > ““On his thirteenth birthday he had seen a film in which the central character was a painter who, unable to sell his work, grew cold and hungry as he went from one unsuccessful interview to the next; eventually he had become a vagrant, sleeping in the streets of the city where once he had walked in hope. Hawksmoor left the cinema in a mood of profound, terrified apprehension and, from that time, he was filled with a sense of time passing and with the fear that he might be left discarded on its banks. The fear had not left him, although now he could no longer remember from where it came: he looked back on his earlier life without curiosity, since it seemed to lack intrinsic interest, and when he looked forward he saw the same steady attainment of goals without any joy in their attainment. For him, the state of happiness was simply the state of not suffering and, if he cared for anything, it was for oblivion.”” [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A man becomes haunted by a film, leading to existential dread, a sense of time slipping away, and a hollow pursuit of goals without joy, equating happiness with the absence of suffering and a longing for oblivion. **In simple terms:** He feels empty, fearing time passes and seeking only non‑suffering. Key Takeaway Recognize when pursuits lack meaning and seek genuine fulfillment. Themes existential dread time meaninglessness happiness oblivion Mood melancholic reflective somber Type literary philosophical existential When to use this quote - career stagnation - creative block - mental health struggles - midlife crisis - artistic burnout Key Concepts nihilism existentialism psychology Questions to Reflect On - What goals feel empty to you? - How can you find meaning beyond avoiding pain? A Different Perspective The focus on non‑suffering may ignore the value of positive experiences and growth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Achievements](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/achievements/) [Anxiety](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anxiety/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Goals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/goals/) [Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hope/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Mind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mind/) [Oblivion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oblivion/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Time passing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time-passing/) ## Related quotes > [“His body had become a companion which seemed always about to leave him: it had its own pains which moved him to pity, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/his-body-had-become-a-companion-which-seemed-always-about-to-leave/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [“But every so often I look at Tobias, and he looks back at me, like we're passing fear back and forth between us.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/but-every-so-often-i-look-at-tobias-and-he-looks-back-at-me-like-we/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [We are identifying with what is passing so fear comes. We are trying to make steady and permanent what is by nature impermanent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mooji/we-are-identifying-with-what-is-passing-so-fear-comes-we-are-trying/) [Mooji](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mooji/) > [After spending 460 days as a hostage, I did emerge a fundamentally changed person. But I think, like everyone does as they grow older…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-lindhout/after-spending-460-days-as-a-hostage-i-did-emerge-a-fundamentally/) [Amanda Lindhout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-lindhout/) > [“Maybe she'd ended up going to Ireland because whilst visiting her father she'd bumped into an old love from her youth, perhaps even her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eva-heller/maybe-she-d-ended-up-going-to-ireland-because-whilst-visiting-her/) [Eva Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eva-heller/) > [If only I'd known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bette-midler/if-only-i-d-known-my-differentness-would-be-an-asset-then-my-earlier/) [Bette Midler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bette-midler/) > [Klaxons was a really great chapter in my earlier life, and now I'm older and happy doing other things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-righton/klaxons-was-a-really-great-chapter-in-my-earlier-life-and-now-i-m/) [James Righton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-righton/) > [Earlier in my life, I had a tendency toward depression.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-ornish/earlier-in-my-life-i-had-a-tendency-toward-depression/) [Dean Ornish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-ornish/) > [The choice of souls was in most cases based on their own experience of a previous life... Knowledge easily acquired is that which the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/plato/the-choice-of-souls-was-in-most-cases-based-on-their-own-experience/) [Plato](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/plato/) > [I do wish I could have given myself permission to really name and own the me of me earlier in life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-dolezal/i-do-wish-i-could-have-given-myself-permission-to-really-name-and-own/) [Rachel Dolezal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-dolezal/) > [“You are here to remind me of someone I long for, and what is it you long for yourself? We must have been together…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/murasaki-shikibu/you-are-here-to-remind-me-of-someone-i-long-for-and-what-is-it-you/) [Murasaki Shikibu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/murasaki-shikibu/) > [In an earlier life, were you a pair of brakes?" "Try a brick wall.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-ward/in-an-earlier-life-were-you-a-pair-of-brakes-try-a-brick-wall/) [J.R. Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-ward/) > [God knows I tried to make it earlier in life, but with all due respect to myself, nothing I ever did was any good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-van-dyke/god-knows-i-tried-to-make-it-earlier-in-life-but-with-all-due-respect/) [Jerry Van Dyke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-van-dyke/) > [I would've preferred to blossom earlier in life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-dean-stanton/i-would-ve-preferred-to-blossom-earlier-in-life/) [Harry Dean Stanton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-dean-stanton/) > [Once you choose to run for president of the United States and succeed, your earlier life, your biography, is a major part of American…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-garrow/once-you-choose-to-run-for-president-of-the-united-states-and-succeed/) [David Garrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-garrow/) ## More by Peter Ackroyd > [If I did only one thing at a time I'd think I was wasting my time. If, for example, I only wrote novels I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/if-i-did-only-one-thing-at-a-time-i-d-think-i-was-wasting-my-time-if/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [I believe that the gods themselves are frightened of the world which they have fashioned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/i-believe-that-the-gods-themselves-are-frightened-of-the-world-which/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [“A woman is a deep Ditch, said he, her House inclines to Death and her Paths unto the Devil”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/a-woman-is-a-deep-ditch-said-he-her-house-inclines-to-death-and-her/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [I don't know if I have a voice of my own. I don't see me being an important person with something to say. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/i-don-t-know-if-i-have-a-voice-of-my-own-i-don-t-see-me-being-an/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [The ordinary routines of life are never chronicled by the historian, but they make up almost the whole of experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/the-ordinary-routines-of-life-are-never-chronicled-by-the-historian/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [“I believe now that there can be no real sense of loss or seperation without the recognition of death; we were too young to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/i-believe-now-that-there-can-be-no-real-sense-of-loss-or-seperation/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [I don't find myself interesting as a person and the details I find boring, quite frankly. You could sum it up in a few…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/i-don-t-find-myself-interesting-as-a-person-and-the-details-i-find/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [Rioting has always been a London tradition. It has been since the early Middle Ages. There's hardly a spate of years that goes by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/rioting-has-always-been-a-london-tradition-it-has-been-since-the/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [“absinthe removes the bitter taste of failure and grants me strange visions which are charming principally because they cannot be written down. Only in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/absinthe-removes-the-bitter-taste-of-failure-and-grants-me-strange/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [“Those in their snug Bed-chambers may call the Fears of Night meer Bugbears, but their Minds have not pierced into the Horror of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/those-in-their-snug-bed-chambers-may-call-the-fears-of-night-meer/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [In so far as I have any beliefs, I suppose I'm like that old Peggy Lee song, 'Is That All There Is?' I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/in-so-far-as-i-have-any-beliefs-i-suppose-i-m-like-that-old-peggy-lee/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [“dyer. (Looking at him scornfully) So that is why Wits swarm like Egypt's Frogs. If I were a Writer now, I would wish to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/dyer-looking-at-him-scornfully-so-that-is-why-wits-swarm-like-egypt-s/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [The embrace of present and past time, in which English antiquarianism becomes a form of alchemy, engenders a strange timelessness. It is as if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/the-embrace-of-present-and-past-time-in-which-english-antiquarianism/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [In London, I've always lived within 10 miles of where I was born. You see, there is something called a spirit of place, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/in-london-i-ve-always-lived-within-10-miles-of-where-i-was-born-you/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) > [There is no humiliation worse than the consciousness of a wasted life. It stains the spirit, forestalls hope, and destroys any motive for action…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-ackroyd/there-is-no-humiliation-worse-than-the-consciousness-of-a-wasted-life/) [Peter Ackroyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) [Explore all 178 Peter Ackroyd quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-ackroyd/) ## More Achievements quotes > [“Desires and wishes don’t lead to success. Plans and efforts do. Create a vision, chalk out an action plan, put in your best efforts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roopleen/desires-and-wishes-don-t-lead-to-success-plans-and-efforts-do-create/) Roopleen > [One of the achievements of the reform movement is that people realize that they can be democrats and remain faithful Muslims. Democracy is now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abdolkarim-soroush/one-of-the-achievements-of-the-reform-movement-is-that-people-realize/) [Abdolkarim Soroush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abdolkarim-soroush/) > [If I stayed in this game for individual achievements, I don't think I'd still be playing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chili-davis/if-i-stayed-in-this-game-for-individual-achievements-i-don-t-think-i/) [Chili Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chili-davis/) > [Big achievements come one small advantage at a time, one step at a time, one day at time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-rohn/big-achievements-come-one-small-advantage-at-a-time-one-step-at-a/) [Jim Rohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-rohn/) > [“Leaders spend time reviewing their mistakes rather than having fantasies over their achievements! They look for every way to do the undone!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/israelmore-ayivor/leaders-spend-time-reviewing-their-mistakes-rather-than-having/) [Israelmore Ayivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/israelmore-ayivor/) > [A woman's professional achievements are always overlooked.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simi-garewal/a-woman-s-professional-achievements-are-always-overlooked/) [Simi Garewal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simi-garewal/) > [I was able to turn to classical music many people, who saw my programs live and on YouTube, and this is one of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aleksey-igudesman/i-was-able-to-turn-to-classical-music-many-people-who-saw-my-programs/) [Aleksey Igudesman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aleksey-igudesman/) > [Fame is like the dessert that comes with your achievements - it's not an achievement in itself, but sometimes it can overpower the work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-clayton/fame-is-like-the-dessert-that-comes-with-your-achievements-it-s-not/) [Adam Clayton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-clayton/) > [“If this conviction had not been a strongly emotional one and if those searching for knowledge had not been inspired by Spinoza 's Amor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/if-this-conviction-had-not-been-a-strongly-emotional-one-and-if-those/) [Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/) > [I love the success of my teammates more than my individual achievements. I've just always cared more about that since I started playing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lebron-james/i-love-the-success-of-my-teammates-more-than-my-individual/) [LeBron James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lebron-james/) > [It's very confusing when fame comes early on in your career. You get a little bit bent out of shape in terms of what's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-clayton/it-s-very-confusing-when-fame-comes-early-on-in-your-career-you-get-a/) [Adam Clayton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-clayton/) > [“To have the wisdom is rarely achieved by seeking the knowledge.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-advise/to-have-the-wisdom-is-rarely-achieved-by-seeking-the-knowledge/) Will Advise > [It's not that I think weddings - or marriages - are letdowns. It's just that I want to see my wedding as one awesome…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessi-klein/it-s-not-that-i-think-weddings-or-marriages-are-letdowns-it-s-just/) [Jessi Klein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessi-klein/) > [All my achievements - even if they may seem small - are mine. No one has contributed to them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koena-mitra/all-my-achievements-even-if-they-may-seem-small-are-mine-no-one-has/) [Koena Mitra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koena-mitra/) > [I'm not sure my achievements have been 'great.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sally-phillips/i-m-not-sure-my-achievements-have-been-great/) [Sally Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sally-phillips/) [Browse all 319 Achievements quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/achievements/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“On his thirteenth birthday he had seen a film in which the central character was a painter who, unable to sell his work, grew cold and hungry as he went from one unsuccessful interview to the next; eventually he had become a vagrant, sleeping in the streets of the city where once he had walked in hope. Hawksmoor left the cinema in a mood of profound, terrified apprehension and, from that time, he was filled with a sense of time passing and with the fear that he might be left discarded on its banks. The fear had not left him, although now he could no longer remember from where it came: he looked back on his earlier life without curiosity, since it seemed to lack intrinsic interest, and when he looked forward he saw the same steady attainment of goals without any joy in their attainment. 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