---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: People like it when you tell them things…"
description: "\"“People like it when you tell them things, in suitable portions, in a modest, intimate tone, and they think they know you, but they do not, they know _..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/per-petterson-8468_new-life_people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things_2051367.jpg"
---

#  People like it when you tell them things, in suitable…

![“People like it when you tell them things, in suitable portions, in a modest, intimate tone, and they think they know you, but they do not, they know &#95;about&#95; you, for what they are let in on are facts, not feelings, not what your opinion is about anything at all, not how what has happened to you…” quote by Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/per-petterson-8468_new-life_people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things_2051367.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/per-petterson-8468_new-life_people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things_2051367.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/per-petterson-8468_new-life_people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things_2051367.jpg)

> ““People like it when you tell them things, in suitable portions, in a modest, intimate tone, and they think they know you, but they do not, they know \_about\_ you, for what they are let in on are facts, not feelings, not what your opinion is about anything at all, not how what has happened to you and how all the decisions you have made have turned you into who you are. What they do is they fill in with their own feelings and opinions and assumptions, and they compose a new life which has precious little to do with yours, and that lets you off the hook. No-one can touch you unless you yourself want them to.””

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

People form shallow impressions based on limited facts, projecting their own feelings onto you, which lets them avoid true intimacy.

**In simple terms:** People guess who you are from facts, not feelings, and fill in the gaps themselves.

Key Takeaway

Share deeper truths to foster authentic connections.

Themes

communication perception identity relationships

Mood

introspective cautionary

Type

philosophical psychological

When to use this quote

- friendships
- online dating
- family dynamics
- teamwork

Key Concepts

projection empathy self‑disclosure

Questions to Reflect On

- How often do you let others define you?
- What would change if you shared more personal experiences?

A Different Perspective

Assuming you know someone from facts can lead to misunderstandings and emotional distance.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[New life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/new-life/)

## Related quotes

> [If I'm gonna make fun of Trump, I'm gonna tell you things that I've done that are similar. I like to tell on myself,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-norton/if-i-m-gonna-make-fun-of-trump-i-m-gonna-tell-you-things-that-i-ve/)

[Jim Norton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-norton/)

> [“Memories aren't always about facts. Sometimes they're about feelings.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-dionne/memories-aren-t-always-about-facts-sometimes-they-re-about-feelings/)

[Karen Dionne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-dionne/)

> [Death cannot alter facts - only feelings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frances-noyes-hart/death-cannot-alter-facts-only-feelings/)

[Frances Noyes Hart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frances-noyes-hart/)

> [People can refute your facts, but never your feelings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-anthony-bower/people-can-refute-your-facts-but-never-your-feelings/)

Sharon Anthony Bower

> [What I use from my own life is not the facts, it's the emotion. It's how I felt about something. It has nothing to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judy-delton/what-i-use-from-my-own-life-is-not-the-facts-it-s-the-emotion-it-s/)

[Judy Delton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judy-delton/)

> [“When you start replacing facts with feelings, you disturb the equilibrium between right and wrong, confusing them as one and the same while encouraging…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-gutfeld/when-you-start-replacing-facts-with-feelings-you-disturb-the/)

[Greg Gutfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-gutfeld/)

> [“Teenage girls engage in emotional reasoning, which is the belief that if you feel something is true, it must be true. If a teenager…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-pipher/teenage-girls-engage-in-emotional-reasoning-which-is-the-belief-that/)

[Mary Pipher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-pipher/)

> [It's not about facts, it's about feelings. It's about remembering feelings and happiness. A definition of art is that it makes concrete our most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agnes-martin/it-s-not-about-facts-it-s-about-feelings-it-s-about-remembering/)

[Agnes Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agnes-martin/)

> [I like to tell my own story using my personality and my insight, the way I see things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-waltrip/i-like-to-tell-my-own-story-using-my-personality-and-my-insight-the/)

[Michael Waltrip](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-waltrip/)

> [Everyone asks me what I like about you, I can't tell them though 'cause they'll fall in love too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leslie/everyone-asks-me-what-i-like-about-you-i-can-t-tell-them-though-cause/)

[Leslie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leslie/)

> [If you like me, tell me. If you miss me, show me. If you love me, prove it to me!!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-martin/if-you-like-me-tell-me-if-you-miss-me-show-me-if-you-love-me-prove-it/)

[Brandon Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-martin/)

> [If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/if-you-hate-something-you-hate-it-and-if-you-like-something-or/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

> [I want stories where you either hate it or love it. I want to do movies like that, where it's not show and tell,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-keoghan/i-want-stories-where-you-either-hate-it-or-love-it-i-want-to-do/)

[Barry Keoghan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-keoghan/)

> [You like it too, and I can tell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hawthorne-heights/you-like-it-too-and-i-can-tell/)

[Hawthorne Heights](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hawthorne-heights/)

> [I never like to tell people what they should take.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-kidman/i-never-like-to-tell-people-what-they-should-take/)

[Nicole Kidman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-kidman/)

## More by Per Petterson

> [“Light in every lamp, light in every mind.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/light-in-every-lamp-light-in-every-mind/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [I come from a working-class family. They're the people I know and the people I love, I guess. I do not write about them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/i-come-from-a-working-class-family-they-re-the-people-i-know-and-the/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [When my mother talked about her brother, there was this light in her eyes. I thought, 'This is the basis of a novel.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/when-my-mother-talked-about-her-brother-there-was-this-light-in-her/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [“But life had shifted its weight from one point to another, from one leg to the other, like a silent giant in the vast…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/but-life-had-shifted-its-weight-from-one-point-to-another-from-one/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [“All my life I have longed to be alone in a place like this. Even when everything was going well, as it often did.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/all-my-life-i-have-longed-to-be-alone-in-a-place-like-this-even-when/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [“I distinctly heard the blackbird from the top of a spruce tree, and clear as glass I heard the lark high up and several…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/i-distinctly-heard-the-blackbird-from-the-top-of-a-spruce-tree-and/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [I decided if I couldn't be a writer, my life would be miserable. I had this imaginary room of references to all the books…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/i-decided-if-i-couldn-t-be-a-writer-my-life-would-be-miserable-i-had/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [“It is important not to be careless about supper when you are alone. It is easily done, boring as it is to cook for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/it-is-important-not-to-be-careless-about-supper-when-you-are-alone-it/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [“We ran back, he first and I following him, between the beds and downstairs, and we picked up an armful of wood from the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/we-ran-back-he-first-and-i-following-him-between-the-beds-and/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [I rely heavily on rhythm when I write. You should tap your foot when you read it, all the way through.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/i-rely-heavily-on-rhythm-when-i-write-you-should-tap-your-foot-when/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [“What I liked was the train ride. It took an hour and that was enough for me to be able to lean backwards against…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/what-i-liked-was-the-train-ride-it-took-an-hour-and-that-was-enough/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [“...everything felt fine at that moment; the suit was fine, and the twon was fine to walk in, along the cobblestone street, and we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/everything-felt-fine-at-that-moment-the-suit-was-fine-and-the-twon/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [“It may be all very well in Dickens, but when you read Dickens you're reading a long ballad from a vanished world, where everything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/it-may-be-all-very-well-in-dickens-but-when-you-read-dickens-you-re/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [I write about families. That is who we are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/i-write-about-families-that-is-who-we-are/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

> [“...the young swans as big as their parents now, but still grey and it looks peculiar, like two different species swimming in a line,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/the-young-swans-as-big-as-their-parents-now-but-still-grey-and-it/)

[Per Petterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

[Explore all 79 Per Petterson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/)

## More New life quotes

> [“Conception is the beginning of human life. From the time that an ovum is fertilized a new life begins that is neither that of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/declaration-on-procured-abortion-congregation-for-the-doctrine-of-the-faith-1974/conception-is-the-beginning-of-human-life-from-the-time-that-an-ovum/)

Declaration on Procured Abortion Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith 1974

> [I always feel like I'm struggling to become someone else. Like I'm trying to find a new place, grab hold of a new life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haruki-murakami/i-always-feel-like-i-m-struggling-to-become-someone-else-like-i-m/)

[Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/)

> [And in your new lives you'll have to live entirely for that one sensation-that of imminent truth. And you're going to have to holler…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-coupland/and-in-your-new-lives-you-ll-have-to-live-entirely-for-that-one/)

[Douglas Coupland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-coupland/)

> [I think of a book and a play, or a book and a movie, as two separate things - I don't think of it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-sachar/i-think-of-a-book-and-a-play-or-a-book-and-a-movie-as-two-separate/)

[Louis Sachar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-sachar/)

> [He (Jesus) came so that we might receive new life through supernatural regeneration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-platt/he-jesus-came-so-that-we-might-receive-new-life-through-supernatural/)

[David Platt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-platt/)

> [“The core message of the gospel is that God invades us with new life, but the setting for this is most often in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugene-h-peterson/the-core-message-of-the-gospel-is-that-god-invades-us-with-new-life/)

[Eugene H. Peterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugene-h-peterson/)

> [A strengthened national spirit can provide the motive power to rise our people from the depths and... pour new life and vigor in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-p-romulo/a-strengthened-national-spirit-can-provide-the-motive-power-to-rise/)

[Carlos P. Romulo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-p-romulo/)

> [“Janet collapsed her head into her hands with relief. She’d never reached out for help before, certainly not with someone she knew so little.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deanna-roy/janet-collapsed-her-head-into-her-hands-with-relief-she-d-never/)

[Deanna Roy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deanna-roy/)

> [The road that leads to heaven is risky, lonely, and costly in this world, and few are willing to pay the price. Following Jesus…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-platt/the-road-that-leads-to-heaven-is-risky-lonely-and-costly-in-this/)

[David Platt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-platt/)

> [“Just another day in my life. This was one of those days when I thought that maybe a new life, a different life, wouldn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/just-another-day-in-my-life-this-was-one-of-those-days-when-i-thought/)

[Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/)

> [It was a spring without voices. On the mornings that had once throbbed with the dawn chorus of robins, catbirds, doves, jays, wrens, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-carson/it-was-a-spring-without-voices-on-the-mornings-that-had-once-throbbed/)

[Rachel Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-carson/)

> [“So they looked at each other. Then Audrey tells me that God designed the world for good, but we messed everything up-our world, our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-choung/so-they-looked-at-each-other-then-audrey-tells-me-that-god-designed/)

James Choung

> [“It’s funny, but when I talk about this business of my father and Valentina with my women friends, they’re absolutely appalled. They see a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marina-lewycka/it-s-funny-but-when-i-talk-about-this-business-of-my-father-and/)

[Marina Lewycka](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marina-lewycka/)

> [The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a new life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vance-bourjaily/the-mark-of-a-good-party-is-that-you-wake-up-the-next-morning-wanting/)

Vance Bourjaily

> [So soon did we, wayfarers, begin to learn that man's life is rounded with the same few facts, the same simple relations everywhere, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/so-soon-did-we-wayfarers-begin-to-learn-that-man-s-life-is-rounded/)

[Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/)

[Browse all 1,203 New life quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/new-life/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“People like it when you tell them things, in suitable portions, in a modest, intimate tone, and they think they know you, but they do not, they know _about_ you, for what they are let in on are facts, not feelings, not what your opinion is about anything at all, not how what has happened to you and how all the decisions you have made have turned you into who you are. What they do is they fill in with their own feelings and opinions and assumptions, and they compose a new life which has precious little to do with yours, and that lets you off the hook. No-one can touch you unless you yourself want them to.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Per Petterson"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things-in-suitable-portions-in-a/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "New life"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things-in-suitable-portions-in-a/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/per-petterson-8468_new-life_people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things_2051367.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/per-petterson-8468_new-life_people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things_2051367.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b2/per-petterson-8468_new-life_people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things_2051367.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“People like it when you tell them things, in suitable portions, in a modest, intimate tone, and they think…” — Per Petterson",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Per Petterson",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/per-petterson/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“People like it when you tell...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things-in-suitable-portions-in-a/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/per-petterson/people-like-it-when-you-tell-them-things-in-suitable-portions-in-a/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
