--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You know that your toddler needed love…" description: "\"You know that your toddler needed love and approval but he often seemed not to care whether he got it or not and never seemed to know how to earn it. Y..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9d/penelope-leach-32514_approval_you-know-that-your-toddler-needed-love-a_443983.png" --- # You know that your toddler needed love and approval but he… ![“You know that your toddler needed love and approval but he often seemed not to care whether he got it or not and never seemed to know how to earn it. Your pre-school child is positively asking you to tell him what does and does not earn approval, so he is ready to learn any social refinement of…” quote by Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9d/penelope-leach-32514_approval_you-know-that-your-toddler-needed-love-a_443983.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9d/penelope-leach-32514_approval_you-know-that-your-toddler-needed-love-a_443983.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9d/penelope-leach-32514_approval_you-know-that-your-toddler-needed-love-a_443983.png) > “You know that your toddler needed love and approval but he often seemed not to care whether he got it or not and never seemed to know how to earn it. Your pre-school child is positively asking you to tell him what does and does not earn approval, so he is ready to learn any social refinement of being human which you will teach him…He knows now that he wants your love and he has learned how to ask for it.” [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Children need clear guidance on what earns love and approval; explicit teaching helps them understand social expectations. **In simple terms:** Teach kids how to earn love and approval. Key Takeaway Provide consistent, age‑appropriate feedback. Themes parenting communication emotional development boundaries Mood caring patient Type educational reflective When to use this quote - preschool discipline - parent‑child conversations - school readiness - family rituals Key Concepts developmental psychology social learning attachment theory Questions to Reflect On - How can you balance guidance with fostering independence? - What signals show a child truly feels loved? A Different Perspective Overemphasis on approval can hinder intrinsic motivation. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Approval](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/approval/) [Asking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asking/) [Asks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asks/) [Being human](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-human/) [Care](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/care/) [Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) [Child Positively](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child-positively-3887847/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Doe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/doe/) [Humans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humans/) [Know how](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/know-how/) [Know Toddler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/know-toddler-3887845/) [Knows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love Approval](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-approval-2105964/) [Needed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needed/) [Needed love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needed-love/) [Positively](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/positively/) [Pre school](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pre-school/) [Ready](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ready/) [Refinement](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/refinement/) [School](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/school/) [Social](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social/) [Teach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teach/) [Toddler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/toddler/) [Toddler Needed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/toddler-needed-3887846/) [Want](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want/) ## Related quotes > [The majority of people who get in a relationship immediately after a breakup- do it to fulfill their own need for Love, approval &…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jsv/the-majority-of-people-who-get-in-a-relationship-immediately-after-a/) [JSV](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jsv/) > [“I’m not going to apologize for what I do anymore, and I’m not going to be afraid of losing your love or approval.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-estep/i-m-not-going-to-apologize-for-what-i-do-anymore-and-i-m-not-going-to/) [Jennifer Estep](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-estep/) > [I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judy-gold/i-try-to-win-the-love-and-approval-of-strangers-since-it-didn-t-work/) [Judy Gold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judy-gold/) > [Always speak and think kindly about yourself, because your soul needs your love and approval.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doreen-virtue/always-speak-and-think-kindly-about-yourself-because-your-soul-needs/) [Doreen Virtue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doreen-virtue/) > [Our human condition makes us tend to share only the best of ourselves, because we are always searching for love and approval](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/our-human-condition-makes-us-tend-to-share-only-the-best-of-ourselves/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [I loved the fact that it wasn't my responsibility to change somebody, that it was God's, that my part was just to communicate love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/i-loved-the-fact-that-it-wasn-t-my-responsibility-to-change-somebody/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [Definitely a plus when the ones you love give their approval.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/definitely-a-plus-when-the-ones-you-love-give-their-approval/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It will help at every state along the road to learning. For the pre-school years we will help needy children become aware of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lyndon-b-johnson/it-will-help-at-every-state-along-the-road-to-learning-for-the-pre/) [Lyndon B. Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lyndon-b-johnson/) > [I don't think I have ever done anything for this age of children before, a pre-school audience. Generally speaking, we don't have vivid memories…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-tennant/i-don-t-think-i-have-ever-done-anything-for-this-age-of-children/) [David Tennant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-tennant/) > [I actually got started in acting when I was in pre-school. I was really into dance and performing, so my mom had me in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fiona-gubelmann/i-actually-got-started-in-acting-when-i-was-in-pre-school-i-was/) [Fiona Gubelmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fiona-gubelmann/) > [When I got to 'Saturday Night Live,' it was a lot like going from pre-school to Harvard, and it took a long time to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hader/when-i-got-to-saturday-night-live-it-was-a-lot-like-going-from-pre/) [Bill Hader](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hader/) > [“In Finland, children do not start formal instruction until grade 1 when they are 7. Pre-school and kindergarten are part of their schooling, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-marselle/in-finland-children-do-not-start-formal-instruction-until-grade-1/) [Terry Marselle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-marselle/) > [In pre-school, I was drawing dinosaurs - I was huge into dinosaurs. I wanted to be a paleontologist, not a cartoonist or a filmmaker…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jhonen-vasquez/in-pre-school-i-was-drawing-dinosaurs-i-was-huge-into-dinosaurs-i/) [Jhonen Vasquez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jhonen-vasquez/) > [I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful. I like birds, bees, I like people. I like funny things that make me happy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eminem/i-like-happy-things-i-m-really-calm-and-peaceful-i-like-birds-bees-i/) [Eminem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eminem/) > [I always enjoyed myself a lot in pre-school](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-always-enjoyed-myself-a-lot-in-pre-school/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Penelope Leach > [Whatever you do to your child's body, you are doing to your child's mind too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/whatever-you-do-to-your-child-s-body-you-are-doing-to-your-child-s/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [Guilt is the most destructive of all emotions. It mourns what has been while playing no part in what may be, now or in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/guilt-is-the-most-destructive-of-all-emotions-it-mourns-what-has-been/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [For a small child there is no division between playing and learning; between the things he or she does 'just for fun' and things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/for-a-small-child-there-is-no-division-between-playing-and-learning/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [A baby who cannot relax can be helped to do so by a variety of constant rhythmical stimuli. it will work if the trouble…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/a-baby-who-cannot-relax-can-be-helped-to-do-so-by-a-variety-of/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [Your preschool child will chatter endlessly to you. If you half-listen and half-reply the whole conversation will seem, and become, tediously meaningless for both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/your-preschool-child-will-chatter-endlessly-to-you-if-you-half-listen/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [Kids haven't changed much, but parents seem increasingly unhappy with the child raising phase of their lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/kids-haven-t-changed-much-but-parents-seem-increasingly-unhappy-with/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [Grown-up people do very little and say a great deal… Toddlers say very little and do a great deal… With a toddler you cannot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/grown-up-people-do-very-little-and-say-a-great-deal-toddlers-say-very/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [A preschool child does not emerge from your toddler on a given date or birthday. He becomes a child when he ceases to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/a-preschool-child-does-not-emerge-from-your-toddler-on-a-given-date/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [Your toddler will be "good" if he feels like doing what you happen to want him to do and does not happen to feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/your-toddler-will-be-good-if-he-feels-like-doing-what-you-happen-to/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [Being "brave" means doing or facing something frightening. ... Being "fearless" means being without fear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/being-brave-means-doing-or-facing-something-frightening-being/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [There is no way out of the experience except through it, because it is not really your experience at all but the baby's. Your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/there-is-no-way-out-of-the-experience-except-through-it-because-it-is/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [Loving a baby is a circular business, a kind of feedback loop. The more you give the more you get and the more you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/loving-a-baby-is-a-circular-business-a-kind-of-feedback-loop-the-more/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [Children do not need superhuman, perfect parents. They have always managed with good enough parents: the parents they happened to have.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/children-do-not-need-superhuman-perfect-parents-they-have-always/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) > [Two generations ago only a few unfortunate children ever saw anyone hit over the head with a brick, shot, rammed by a car, blown…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penelope-leach/two-generations-ago-only-a-few-unfortunate-children-ever-saw-anyone/) [Penelope Leach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) [Explore all 15 Penelope Leach quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penelope-leach/) ## More Approval quotes > [Anyone who's read my 'Terror in the Skies' series knows that I have not been writing with an eye toward approval from any government…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-jacobsen/anyone-who-s-read-my-terror-in-the-skies-series-knows-that-i-have-not/) [Annie Jacobsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-jacobsen/) > [we need not avoid our active lives, but simply bring to them a new vision and shift of gravity. for in the center we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/we-need-not-avoid-our-active-lives-but-simply-bring-to-them-a-new/) [Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/) > [Lean too much on the approval of people, and it becomes a bed of thorns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tehyi-hsieh/lean-too-much-on-the-approval-of-people-and-it-becomes-a-bed-of-thorns/) [Tehyi Hsieh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tehyi-hsieh/) > [But I always reassure them that as far as my contractual rights can go, I will protect them and make sure that they have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-roach/but-i-always-reassure-them-that-as-far-as-my-contractual-rights-can/) [Jay Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-roach/) > [Growing up in that fashion is a breeding ground for insecurity and doubt; it also leaves you questioning motives. It took me a long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/damon-runyon/growing-up-in-that-fashion-is-a-breeding-ground-for-insecurity-and/) [Damon Runyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/damon-runyon/) > [A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the supreme court had just withdrawn, and my vice president had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-w-bush/a-year-ago-my-approval-rating-was-in-the-30s-my-nominee-for-the/) [George W. Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-w-bush/) > [Approval is a greater motivator than disapproval, but we have to disapprove on occasion when we correct. It’s necessary. I make corrections only after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-wooden/approval-is-a-greater-motivator-than-disapproval-but-we-have-to/) [John Wooden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-wooden/) > [These days people are mean to people just because they don't like the way they look. No-one should be hated because of their flaws.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/these-days-people-are-mean-to-people-just-because-they-don-t-like-the/) [Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/) > [I got this emptiness inside that got me fighting for approval because I missed out on my daddy saying, Way to Go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lecrae/i-got-this-emptiness-inside-that-got-me-fighting-for-approval-because/) [Lecrae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lecrae/) > [My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roseanne-barr/my-dad-taught-me-swears-when-i-was-a-toddler-and-i-saw-at-a-really/) [Roseanne Barr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roseanne-barr/) > [If torture is going to be administered as a last resort in the ticking-bomb case, to save enormous numbers of lives, it ought to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-dershowitz/if-torture-is-going-to-be-administered-as-a-last-resort-in-the/) [Alan Dershowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-dershowitz/) > [Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-chappelle/comedy-is-a-very-approval-oriented-field/) [Dave Chappelle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-chappelle/) > [Whenever you are too worried about someone else's approval, that person loses respect for you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherry-argov/whenever-you-are-too-worried-about-someone-else-s-approval-that/) [Sherry Argov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherry-argov/) > [Pleasure is Nature's test, her sign of approval.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/pleasure-is-nature-s-test-her-sign-of-approval/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Do you really mean the only reason you try to be good is to gain God's approval and reward? That's not morality, that's just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-dawkins/do-you-really-mean-the-only-reason-you-try-to-be-good-is-to-gain-god/) [Richard Dawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-dawkins/) [Browse all 904 Approval quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/approval/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You know that your toddler needed love and approval but he often seemed not to care whether he got it or not and never seemed to know how to earn it. 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