--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You're the only one who knows when you're…" description: "\"You're the only one who knows when you're using things to protect yourself and keep your ego together and when you're opening and letting things fall a..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb0/pema-ch-dr-n-327_awakening_you-re-the-only-one-who-knows-when-you-r_591480.png" --- # You're the only one who knows when you're using things to… ![“You're the only one who knows when you're using things to protect yourself and keep your ego together and when you're opening and letting things fall apart, letting the world come as it is - working with it rather than struggling against it. You're the only one who knows.” quote by Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb0/pema-ch-dr-n-327_awakening_you-re-the-only-one-who-knows-when-you-r_591480.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb0/pema-ch-dr-n-327_awakening_you-re-the-only-one-who-knows-when-you-r_591480.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb0/pema-ch-dr-n-327_awakening_you-re-the-only-one-who-knows-when-you-r_591480.png) > “You're the only one who knows when you're using things to protect yourself and keep your ego together and when you're opening and letting things fall apart, letting the world come as it is - working with it rather than struggling against it. You're the only one who knows.” [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. It stresses personal responsibility for recognizing when we use defenses to protect ego versus when we allow vulnerability and flow with reality. **In simple terms:** Only you can tell when you’re protecting yourself or embracing reality. Key Takeaway Cultivate self‑awareness and openness. Themes self‑awareness ego vulnerability acceptance Mood reflective calm Type inspirational spiritual When to use this quote - therapy - personal growth - stressful situations Key Concepts mindfulness psychology spirituality Questions to Reflect On - What defenses are you aware of? - How can you practice letting go? A Different Perspective Defenses can be hard to see without honest reflection. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Awakening](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/awakening/) [Ego](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ego/) [Ego Opening](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ego-opening-4839844/) [Fall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall/) [Fall apart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall-apart/) [Falling apart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/falling-apart/) [Knows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/) [Knows Using](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows-using-4839845/) [Letting Things](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/letting-things/) [Opening](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/opening/) [Protect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/protect/) [Protect Ego](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/protect-ego-919345/) [Protect yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/protect-yourself/) [Struggle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/struggle/) [Things Fall Apart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/things-fall-apart/) [Things Protect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/things-protect-3004595/) [Together](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/together/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/) ## Related quotes > [To those who seek to protect their ego true Peace brings only disturbance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/to-those-who-seek-to-protect-their-ego-true-peace-brings-only/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [“Mostly, we think that a self-expressive person is egotistical. That may be true but what about someone who refrains from expressing himself to protect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/assegid-habtewold/mostly-we-think-that-a-self-expressive-person-is-egotistical-that-may/) [Assegid Habtewold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/assegid-habtewold/) > [In modern times we are often encouraged to protect our ego-force and individuality by securing a private world in which to develop our unique…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-genn/in-modern-times-we-are-often-encouraged-to-protect-our-ego-force-and/) [Sara Genn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-genn/) > [You can't control the weather, but there are definitely things you can do to protect yourself and the investment you've made in your boat.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-hall/you-can-t-control-the-weather-but-there-are-definitely-things-you-can/) [Scott Hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-hall/) > [I've never seen a publicist that could protect me from things, protect anyone from what's going on out there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brad-pitt/i-ve-never-seen-a-publicist-that-could-protect-me-from-things-protect/) [Brad Pitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brad-pitt/) > [I'd do a lot of things to protect you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/i-d-do-a-lot-of-things-to-protect-you/) [Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/) > [When things fall apart in your life, you feel as if your whole world is crumbling. But actually it’s your fixed identity that’s crumbling.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-things-fall-apart-in-your-life-you-feel-as-if-your-whole-world/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [When Things Fall Apart” and I quote “Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-things-fall-apart-and-i-quote-life-is-a-good-teacher-and-a-good/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [It's a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately fill up the space. By waiting, we begin to connect with fundamental restlessness as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/it-s-a-transformative-experience-to-simply-pause-instead-of/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [The trick is to keep exploring and not bail out, even when we find out that something is not what we thought. That's what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-trick-is-to-keep-exploring-and-not-bail-out-even-when-we-find-out-2/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sometimes-letting-things-go-is-an-act-of-far-greater-power-than/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [maturity ... is letting things happen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-heilbrun/maturity-is-letting-things-happen/) [Carolyn Heilbrun](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-heilbrun/) > [True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-mitchell/true-mastery-can-be-gained-by-letting-things-go-their-own-way/) [Stephen Mitchell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-mitchell/) > [Letting go of things and not being afraid of being ridiculous or over the top - I think that's the main thing for me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-gainsbourg/letting-go-of-things-and-not-being-afraid-of-being-ridiculous-or-over/) [Charlotte Gainsbourg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-gainsbourg/) > [Not letting things out leads to suicide.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naquitta-faith/not-letting-things-out-leads-to-suicide/) [Naquitta Faith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naquitta-faith/) ## More by Pema Chodron > [“LIFE’S work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into your life wake you up rather than put you to sleep.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/life-s-work-is-to-wake-up-to-let-the-things-that-enter-into-your-life/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/since-death-is-certain-and-the-time-of-death-is-uncertain-what-is-the/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Buddhist words such as compassion and emptiness don't mean much until we start cultivating our innate ability simply to be there with pain with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/buddhist-words-such-as-compassion-and-emptiness-don-t-mean-much-until/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [The essence of generosity is letting go. Pain is always a sign that we are holding on to something - usually ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-generosity-is-letting-go-pain-is-always-a-sign-that-we/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“If the object of meditation were something concrete, something solid and graspable - an image or a statue or a dot on the floor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-the-object-of-meditation-were-something-concrete-something-solid/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [It's a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately fill up the space. By waiting, we begin to connect with fundamental restlessness as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/it-s-a-transformative-experience-to-simply-pause-instead-of/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“The essence of life is that it’s challenging. Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-life-is-that-it-s-challenging-sometimes-it-is-sweet/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-we-run-a-hundred-miles-an-hour-to-the-other-end-of-the-continent/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“But in this meditation technique, we are with the out-breath; there's no particular instruction about what to do until the next out-breath.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/but-in-this-meditation-technique-we-are-with-the-out-breath-there-s/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. Nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion. Perhaps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/nothing-ever-goes-away-until-it-has-taught-us-what-we-need-to-know/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn't sit for even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/so-even-if-the-hot-loneliness-is-there-and-for-1-6-seconds-we-sit/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If you have rage and righteously act it out and blame it all on others, it's really you who suffers. The other people and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-you-have-rage-and-righteously-act-it-out-and-blame-it-all-on/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“When we realize that the path is the goal, there’s a sense of workability. Trungpa Rinpoche said, “Whatever occurs in the confused mind is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-we-realize-that-the-path-is-the-goal-there-s-a-sense-of/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Every day is a new opportunity to work with what you have inside toward enlightenment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/every-day-is-a-new-opportunity-to-work-with-what-you-have-inside/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-someone-comes-along-and-shoots-an-arrow-into-your-heart-it-s/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) [Explore all 664 Pema Chodron quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## More Awakening quotes > [It is natural that our minds replay old stories, because that is our own mechanism for trying to work out unresolved problems. Yet rerunning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/it-is-natural-that-our-minds-replay-old-stories-because-that-is-our/) [Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/) > [Imitation is the first instinct of the awakening mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-montessori/imitation-is-the-first-instinct-of-the-awakening-mind/) [Maria Montessori](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-montessori/) > [“It is not so much about fighting against the ego; it is more about harmonizing with it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grace-sara/it-is-not-so-much-about-fighting-against-the-ego-it-is-more-about/) [Grace Sara](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grace-sara/) > [Dawn's faint breath breathes with your mouth at the ends of empty streets. Gray light your eyes, sweet drops of dawn on dark hills.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cesare-pavese/dawn-s-faint-breath-breathes-with-your-mouth-at-the-ends-of-empty/) [Cesare Pavese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cesare-pavese/) > [“Low states are a like a poison to the psyche. Millions of people throughout the world take tranquillizers each day to combat depression, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/belsebuub/low-states-are-a-like-a-poison-to-the-psyche-millions-of-people/) [Belsebuub](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/belsebuub/) > [The awakening of the soul to its bondage and its effort to stand up and assert itself - this is called life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/swami-vivekananda/the-awakening-of-the-soul-to-its-bondage-and-its-effort-to-stand-up/) [Swami Vivekananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/swami-vivekananda/) > [My political awakening, if I can be as grand as to call it that, was all about what was happening around me. It wasn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicola-sturgeon/my-political-awakening-if-i-can-be-as-grand-as-to-call-it-that-was/) [Nicola Sturgeon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicola-sturgeon/) > [How often have you sailed in my dreams. And now you come in my awakening.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/how-often-have-you-sailed-in-my-dreams-and-now-you-come-in-my/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“CWC (Church Women Concerned) enabled us as women in that part of South Africa, to see ourselves as ordinary citizens who found themselves in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sindiwe-magona/cwc-church-women-concerned-enabled-us-as-women-in-that-part-of-south/) [Sindiwe Magona](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sindiwe-magona/) > [I feel there is a great spiritual awakening on the planet right now. More than any previous time, people are drawn to meditation, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agapi-stassinopoulos/i-feel-there-is-a-great-spiritual-awakening-on-the-planet-right-now/) [Agapi Stassinopoulos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agapi-stassinopoulos/) > [When I was 20 years old, I got cast in 'Spring Awakening' and got swept up in this experience where it was kind of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-groff/when-i-was-20-years-old-i-got-cast-in-spring-awakening-and-got-swept/) [Jonathan Groff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-groff/) > [Motivation is awakening own mind and Inspiration is arising spirit in others to find their own with their heart and soul in all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anuj/motivation-is-awakening-own-mind-and-inspiration-is-arising-spirit-in/) [Anuj](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anuj/) > [“Everything we perceive to be solid and static is made up of almost entirely empty space.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-p-kauffman/everything-we-perceive-to-be-solid-and-static-is-made-up-of-almost/) [Joseph P. Kauffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-p-kauffman/) > [Life is perhaps best regarded as a bad dream between two awakenings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugene-o-neill/life-is-perhaps-best-regarded-as-a-bad-dream-between-two-awakenings/) [Eugene O'Neill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugene-o-neill/) > [“The Illusion - The source of suffering can be linked back to a condition of the mind that creates the illusion of separation--the state…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-m-blanchard/the-illusion-the-source-of-suffering-can-be-linked-back-to-a/) [L.M.Blanchard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-m-blanchard/) [Browse all 1,440 Awakening quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/awakening/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You're the only one who knows when you're using things to protect yourself and keep your ego together and when you're opening and letting things fall apart, letting the world come as it is - working with it rather than struggling against it. 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