--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What we hate in ourselves, we’ll hate in…" description: "\"“What we hate in ourselves, we’ll hate in others. To the degree that we have compassion for ourselves, we will also have compassion for others.”\" — Pem..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd9/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_what-we-hate-in-ourselves-we-ll-hate-in_293734.png" --- # What we hate in ourselves, we’ll hate in others. To the… ![“What we hate in ourselves, we’ll hate in others. To the degree that we have compassion for ourselves, we will also have compassion for others.” quote by Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd9/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_what-we-hate-in-ourselves-we-ll-hate-in_293734.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd9/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_what-we-hate-in-ourselves-we-ll-hate-in_293734.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd9/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_what-we-hate-in-ourselves-we-ll-hate-in_293734.png) > ““What we hate in ourselves, we’ll hate in others. To the degree that we have compassion for ourselves, we will also have compassion for others.”” [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Compassion toward oneself creates the capacity to feel compassion for others. **In simple terms:** Self‑compassion leads to compassion for others. Key Takeaway Cultivate kindness toward yourself. Themes compassion self‑kindness empathy interconnectedness Mood calm reflective Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - therapy sessions - conflict resolution - personal growth Key Concepts Buddhist psychology mindfulness ethical behavior Questions to Reflect On - How can you practice self‑compassion without ego? - What barriers stop you from feeling empathy? A Different Perspective Self‑compassion can be mistaken for selfishness. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Compassion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) [Compassion for others](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion-for-others/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) ## Related quotes > [if an author would have us feel a strong degree of compassion, his characters must not be too perfect.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-letitia-barbauld/if-an-author-would-have-us-feel-a-strong-degree-of-compassion-his/) [Anna Letitia Barbauld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-letitia-barbauld/) > [In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/in-order-to-have-compassion-for-others-we-have-to-have-compassion-for/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“Jesus tells us: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ (Mk 12:31). How can we love our neighbor if we can’t or won’t love ourselves, at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-deturris-poust/jesus-tells-us-love-your-neighbor-as-yourself-mk-12-31-how-can-we/) [Mary DeTurris Poust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-deturris-poust/) > [Nothing helps us build our perspective more than developing compassion for others. Compassion is a sympathetic feeling. It involves the willingness to put yourself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-carlson/nothing-helps-us-build-our-perspective-more-than-developing/) [Richard Carlson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-carlson/) > [Resilience is based on compassion for ourselves as well as compassion for others](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/resilience-is-based-on-compassion-for-ourselves-as-well-as-compassion/) [Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/) > [When you have learned compassion for yourself, compassion for others is automatic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/when-you-have-learned-compassion-for-yourself-compassion-for-others/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [“Boundaries are the foundation for regulating a high degree of compassion for other people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/boundaries-are-the-foundation-for-regulating-a-high-degree-of/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [Common sense! It's nothing more than common sense for the preservation of our culture, the preservation of our country, the preservation and growth of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/common-sense-it-s-nothing-more-than-common-sense-for-the-preservation/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [She'll cry, then get over it. She'll hate you, then love you again, but one day she will leave and never come back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/she-ll-cry-then-get-over-it-she-ll-hate-you-then-love-you-again-but/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Even the strongest and bravest must sometimes weep. 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Oldster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kilroy-j-oldster/) > [A lack of compassion for others arises from an unwillingness to forgive their weaknesses.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bevere/a-lack-of-compassion-for-others-arises-from-an-unwillingness-to/) [John Bevere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bevere/) > [“surround yourself with people who allow you to be yourself, it does not mean be around others who do not have a sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tasha-hoggatt/surround-yourself-with-people-who-allow-you-to-be-yourself-it-does/) [Tasha Hoggatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tasha-hoggatt/) > [Compassion is not against anger. When anger disappears, compassion is. Compassion is not to be fought for; it is not against passion. When passion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/compassion-is-not-against-anger-when-anger-disappears-compassion-is/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [“Don't expect someone to be compassionate to you, if you don't have compassion for yourself no one will compassion you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamaran-ihsan-salih/don-t-expect-someone-to-be-compassionate-to-you-if-you-don-t-have/) [Kamaran Ihsan Salih](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamaran-ihsan-salih/) ## More by Pema Chödrön > [“LIFE’S work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into your life wake you up rather than put you to sleep.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/life-s-work-is-to-wake-up-to-let-the-things-that-enter-into-your-life/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/since-death-is-certain-and-the-time-of-death-is-uncertain-what-is-the/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Buddhist words such as compassion and emptiness don't mean much until we start cultivating our innate ability simply to be there with pain with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/buddhist-words-such-as-compassion-and-emptiness-don-t-mean-much-until/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [The essence of generosity is letting go. Pain is always a sign that we are holding on to something - usually ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-generosity-is-letting-go-pain-is-always-a-sign-that-we/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“If the object of meditation were something concrete, something solid and graspable - an image or a statue or a dot on the floor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-the-object-of-meditation-were-something-concrete-something-solid/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [It's a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately fill up the space. By waiting, we begin to connect with fundamental restlessness as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/it-s-a-transformative-experience-to-simply-pause-instead-of/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“The essence of life is that it’s challenging. Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-life-is-that-it-s-challenging-sometimes-it-is-sweet/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-we-run-a-hundred-miles-an-hour-to-the-other-end-of-the-continent/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“But in this meditation technique, we are with the out-breath; there's no particular instruction about what to do until the next out-breath.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/but-in-this-meditation-technique-we-are-with-the-out-breath-there-s/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. Nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion. Perhaps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/nothing-ever-goes-away-until-it-has-taught-us-what-we-need-to-know/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn't sit for even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/so-even-if-the-hot-loneliness-is-there-and-for-1-6-seconds-we-sit/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If you have rage and righteously act it out and blame it all on others, it's really you who suffers. The other people and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-you-have-rage-and-righteously-act-it-out-and-blame-it-all-on/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“When we realize that the path is the goal, there’s a sense of workability. Trungpa Rinpoche said, “Whatever occurs in the confused mind is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-we-realize-that-the-path-is-the-goal-there-s-a-sense-of/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Every day is a new opportunity to work with what you have inside toward enlightenment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/every-day-is-a-new-opportunity-to-work-with-what-you-have-inside/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. 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