--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We have a choice. We can spend our whole…" description: "\"We have a choice. We can spend our whole life suffering because we can't relax with how things really are, or we can relax and embrace the open-endedne..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/pema-ch-dr-n-327_choice_we-have-a-choice-we-can-spend-our-whole_2727672.jpg" --- # We have a choice. We can spend our whole life suffering… ![“We have a choice. We can spend our whole life suffering because we can't relax with how things really are, or we can relax and embrace the open-endedness of the human situation, which is fresh, unfixated, unbiased.” quote by Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/pema-ch-dr-n-327_choice_we-have-a-choice-we-can-spend-our-whole_2727672.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/pema-ch-dr-n-327_choice_we-have-a-choice-we-can-spend-our-whole_2727672.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/pema-ch-dr-n-327_choice_we-have-a-choice-we-can-spend-our-whole_2727672.jpg) > “We have a choice. We can spend our whole life suffering because we can't relax with how things really are, or we can relax and embrace the open-endedness of the human situation, which is fresh, unfixated, unbiased.” [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. We can either cling to suffering by resisting reality or find peace by accepting life's open‑ended, unbiased nature. **In simple terms:** Choose acceptance over resistance. Key Takeaway Embrace openness, release suffering. Themes acceptance mindfulness existentialism Mood calm reflective Type spiritual philosophical When to use this quote - therapy sessions - meditation practice - daily stress - relationship conflicts Key Concepts non‑attachment impermanence human condition Questions to Reflect On - What does openness mean to you? - How can you balance acceptance with action? A Different Perspective Acceptance may feel passive and ignore necessary change. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Choice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice/) [Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/) [Embrace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/embrace/) [Humans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humans/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Life Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-suffering/) [Relax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relax/) [Situation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/situation/) [Spend Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spend-life/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) [Suffering Relax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering-relax-2930815/) [Unbiased](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unbiased/) [Whole life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/whole-life/) ## Related quotes > [Maybe the most important teaching is to lighten up and relax. It's such a huge help in working with our crazy mixed-up minds to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/maybe-the-most-important-teaching-is-to-lighten-up-and-relax-it-s/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-we-resist-change-it-s-called-suffering-but-when-we-can/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If we're willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be eliminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-we-re-willing-to-give-up-hope-that-insecurity-and-pain-can-be/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Sticking with uncertainty is how we learn to relax in the midst of chaos, how we learn to be cool when the ground beneath…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/sticking-with-uncertainty-is-how-we-learn-to-relax-in-the-midst-of/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Without giving up hope—that there’s somewhere better to be, that there’s someone better to be—we will never relax with where we are or who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/without-giving-up-hope-that-there-s-somewhere-better-to-be-that-there/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Relaxing with something as familiar as loneliness is good discipline for realizing the profundity of the unresolved moments of our lives. We are cheating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/relaxing-with-something-as-familiar-as-loneliness-is-good-discipline/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [I think we all try to figure out ways to ignore the fact that life is about suffering. In the modern world, that's what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-de-la-pena/i-think-we-all-try-to-figure-out-ways-to-ignore-the-fact-that-life-is/) [Matt de la Pena](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-de-la-pena/) > [Most people get a fair amount of fun out of their lives, but on balance life is suffering, and only the very young or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-orwell/most-people-get-a-fair-amount-of-fun-out-of-their-lives-but-on/) [George Orwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-orwell/) > [“There is no growth without pain. No life without suffering.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cynthia-eden/there-is-no-growth-without-pain-no-life-without-suffering/) [Cynthia Eden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cynthia-eden/) > [Deem no man happy until he passes the end of his life without suffering grief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophocles/deem-no-man-happy-until-he-passes-the-end-of-his-life-without/) [Sophocles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophocles/) > [“Some people think life is all about suffering, and suffering means living life. So many people live their lives accepting suffering as a way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-agyemang-yeboah/some-people-think-life-is-all-about-suffering-and-suffering-means/) [Ernest Agyemang Yeboah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-agyemang-yeboah/) > [It is true that every being is enjoying life or suffering as a direct result of his or her own past actions. The animals…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-gannon/it-is-true-that-every-being-is-enjoying-life-or-suffering-as-a-direct/) [Sharon Gannon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-gannon/) > [“So against the grain I serve to produce events and do what’s irrational because I am commanded to. For all their indisputable intelligence, men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fyodor-dostoevsky/so-against-the-grain-i-serve-to-produce-events-and-do-what-s/) [Fyodor Dostoevsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fyodor-dostoevsky/) > [Life is not suffering; it's just that you will suffer it, rather than enjoy it, until you let go of your mind's attachments and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-millman/life-is-not-suffering-it-s-just-that-you-will-suffer-it-rather-than/) [Dan Millman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-millman/) > [Suffering in life can uncover untold depths of character and unknown strength for service. People who go through life unscathed by sorrow and untouched…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billy-graham/suffering-in-life-can-uncover-untold-depths-of-character-and-unknown/) [Billy Graham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billy-graham/) ## More by Pema Chodron > [“LIFE’S work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into your life wake you up rather than put you to sleep.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/life-s-work-is-to-wake-up-to-let-the-things-that-enter-into-your-life/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/since-death-is-certain-and-the-time-of-death-is-uncertain-what-is-the/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Buddhist words such as compassion and emptiness don't mean much until we start cultivating our innate ability simply to be there with pain with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/buddhist-words-such-as-compassion-and-emptiness-don-t-mean-much-until/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [The essence of generosity is letting go. 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Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-life-is-that-it-s-challenging-sometimes-it-is-sweet/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-we-run-a-hundred-miles-an-hour-to-the-other-end-of-the-continent/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“But in this meditation technique, we are with the out-breath; there's no particular instruction about what to do until the next out-breath.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/but-in-this-meditation-technique-we-are-with-the-out-breath-there-s/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. 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It would be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-someone-comes-along-and-shoots-an-arrow-into-your-heart-it-s/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) [Explore all 664 Pema Chodron quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## More Choice quotes > [Making the right decision is hard,telling someone your decision is even harder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhishek-tiwari/making-the-right-decision-is-hard-telling-someone-your-decision-is/) [Abhishek Tiwari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhishek-tiwari/) > [“That’s all! Now either leave us alone or join us as a father rather than a receiver of sacrifices. You have the choice of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-simmons/that-s-all-now-either-leave-us-alone-or-join-us-as-a-father-rather/) [Dan Simmons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-simmons/) > [“In a world of fixed future, there can be no right or wrong. 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That way, no matter how hard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josephine-angelini/exactly-so-what-can-t-you-take-decide-which-of-the-two-options-is/) [Josephine Angelini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josephine-angelini/) > [“too—I realized that my only hope was to give up the life that had been, in order to make room for the life that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/too-i-realized-that-my-only-hope-was-to-give-up-the-life-that-had/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [When you have a choice, choose happy!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pancho-barnes/when-you-have-a-choice-choose-happy/) [Pancho Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pancho-barnes/) > [You dont choose your life; it chooses you. Theres no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs, you just accept them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/you-dont-choose-your-life-it-chooses-you-theres-no-point-asking-why/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [There has always been a feeling with people that they love my singing but not always the choice of material.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-moyet/there-has-always-been-a-feeling-with-people-that-they-love-my-singing/) [Alison Moyet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-moyet/) > [I have too many options when it comes to guitars.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-nielsen/i-have-too-many-options-when-it-comes-to-guitars/) [Rick Nielsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-nielsen/) > [“Amazing how a small choice can change your life forever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-c-dockens/amazing-how-a-small-choice-can-change-your-life-forever/) [Randy C. Dockens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-c-dockens/) > [Change is inevitable but personal growth is a choice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-proctor/change-is-inevitable-but-personal-growth-is-a-choice/) [Bob Proctor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-proctor/) > [If you choose to draw from the inner well of free will, then you can make choices that are outside your current karmic patterns.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/if-you-choose-to-draw-from-the-inner-well-of-free-will-then-you-can/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Since I don't outline my books very much, I feel like sometimes I don't have a choice in what the characters do; they just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-todd/since-i-don-t-outline-my-books-very-much-i-feel-like-sometimes-i-don/) [Anna Todd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-todd/) > [Act always so as to increase the number of choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heinz-von-foerster/act-always-so-as-to-increase-the-number-of-choices/) [Heinz von Foerster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heinz-von-foerster/) > [Words can only have an effect on you if you choose to listen to them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernajoy-vaal/words-can-only-have-an-effect-on-you-if-you-choose-to-listen-to-them/) [Bernajoy Vaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernajoy-vaal/) [Browse all 8,092 Choice quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We have a choice. 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