--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The way I regard those who hurt me today…" description: "\"The way I regard those who hurt me today will affect how I experience the world in the future. In any encounter, we have a choice: we can strengthen ou..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b52/pema-ch-dr-n-327_anger_the-way-i-regard-those-who-hurt-me-today_3143361.jpg" --- # The way I regard those who hurt me today will affect how I… ![“The way I regard those who hurt me today will affect how I experience the world in the future. In any encounter, we have a choice: we can strengthen our resentment or our understanding and empathy. We can widen the gap between ourselves and others or lessen it.” quote by Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b52/pema-ch-dr-n-327_anger_the-way-i-regard-those-who-hurt-me-today_3143361.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b52/pema-ch-dr-n-327_anger_the-way-i-regard-those-who-hurt-me-today_3143361.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b52/pema-ch-dr-n-327_anger_the-way-i-regard-those-who-hurt-me-today_3143361.jpg) > “The way I regard those who hurt me today will affect how I experience the world in the future. In any encounter, we have a choice: we can strengthen our resentment or our understanding and empathy. We can widen the gap between ourselves and others or lessen it.” [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. How we interpret hurt shapes future perceptions; choosing empathy over resentment expands connection and reduces bitterness. **In simple terms:** Choosing empathy over resentment changes future outlook. Key Takeaway Practice empathy when hurt. Themes compassion choice perception Mood reflective hopeful Type personal philosophical When to use this quote - personal conflict - family disputes - workplace tension - social interactions Key Concepts Buddhist mindfulness emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - How does resentment affect your daily mood? - What steps can you take to cultivate understanding? A Different Perspective Empathy can be hard when pain is deep. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) [Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/) [Empathy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empathy/) [Empathy Widen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empathy-widen-5611517/) [Encounters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/encounters/) [Gaps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gaps/) [Hurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt/) [Hurt me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt-me/) [Regard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regard/) [Regard Hurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regard-hurt-5611520/) [Resentment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resentment/) [Resentment Understanding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resentment-understanding-5611518/) [Strengthen Resentment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strengthen-resentment-5611519/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Today](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/) [Understanding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/understanding/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/) ## Related quotes > [All criticism hurts me. I'm so in the wrong business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/all-criticism-hurts-me-i-m-so-in-the-wrong-business/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [My father told me never to take my foot off a ladder to kick at someone who was kicking at me. When I did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-harvey/my-father-told-me-never-to-take-my-foot-off-a-ladder-to-kick-at/) [Steve Harvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-harvey/) > [My parents said sticks and stones will break your bones but names will never hurt you. But I always felt a sense of exhilaration…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-franti/my-parents-said-sticks-and-stones-will-break-your-bones-but-names/) [Michael Franti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-franti/) > [I was a relationship retard. I kicked, shoved, and punched people out of my life, so they never had a chance to hurt me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tarryn-fisher/i-was-a-relationship-retard-i-kicked-shoved-and-punched-people-out-of/) [Tarryn Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tarryn-fisher/) > [That's one of those things that will really hurt me personally, if I label a character or think about what it might do if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luke-wilson/that-s-one-of-those-things-that-will-really-hurt-me-personally-if-i/) [Luke Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luke-wilson/) > [He doesn’t love me. He might still love me as I was at fifteen, when I didn’t know any better. When I trusted everyone.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/he-doesn-t-love-me-he-might-still-love-me-as-i-was-at-fifteen-when-i/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [I don't want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs Gogol. "That's good," said Granny. "I don't want you to hurt me either.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/i-don-t-want-to-hurt-you-mistress-weatherwax-said-mrs-gogol-that-s/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Supposing Catherine Lim was writing about me and not the prime minister...She would not dare, right? Because my posture, my response has been such…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-kuan-yew/supposing-catherine-lim-was-writing-about-me-and-not-the-prime/) [Lee Kuan Yew](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-kuan-yew/) > [People are just afraid of things too much … Sure, evil exists, extremism exists. Somebody could commit a hate crime and hurt me. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-ocean/people-are-just-afraid-of-things-too-much-sure-evil-exists-extremism/) [Frank Ocean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-ocean/) > [If you want to hurt me, fine. Take my books. Burn down my house. Shave my head while I am sleeping. But nobody, nobody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-harper/if-you-want-to-hurt-me-fine-take-my-books-burn-down-my-house-shave-my/) [Molly Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/molly-harper/) > [I had these kind of unrealistic expectations that were fueled by romantic comedies, and it has both helped me and hurt me in many…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mindy-kaling/i-had-these-kind-of-unrealistic-expectations-that-were-fueled-by/) [Mindy Kaling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mindy-kaling/) > [Colin thought about the dork mantra: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. What a dirty lie.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/colin-thought-about-the-dork-mantra-sticks-and-stones-may-break-my/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [I guess my height has hurt me as much as it's helped me. In comedy people don't mind casting tall women next to shorter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allison-janney/i-guess-my-height-has-hurt-me-as-much-as-it-s-helped-me-in-comedy/) [Allison Janney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allison-janney/) > [I feel pain everyday of my life. When you see me perform, it's that pain you're seeing coming out. I put all my emotions,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-rollins/i-feel-pain-everyday-of-my-life-when-you-see-me-perform-it-s-that/) [Henry Rollins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-rollins/) > [You can't hurt me without my permission.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/you-can-t-hurt-me-without-my-permission/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) ## More by Pema Chodron > [“LIFE’S work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into your life wake you up rather than put you to sleep.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/life-s-work-is-to-wake-up-to-let-the-things-that-enter-into-your-life/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/since-death-is-certain-and-the-time-of-death-is-uncertain-what-is-the/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Buddhist words such as compassion and emptiness don't mean much until we start cultivating our innate ability simply to be there with pain with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/buddhist-words-such-as-compassion-and-emptiness-don-t-mean-much-until/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [The essence of generosity is letting go. Pain is always a sign that we are holding on to something - usually ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-generosity-is-letting-go-pain-is-always-a-sign-that-we/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“If the object of meditation were something concrete, something solid and graspable - an image or a statue or a dot on the floor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-the-object-of-meditation-were-something-concrete-something-solid/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [It's a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately fill up the space. By waiting, we begin to connect with fundamental restlessness as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/it-s-a-transformative-experience-to-simply-pause-instead-of/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“The essence of life is that it’s challenging. Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-life-is-that-it-s-challenging-sometimes-it-is-sweet/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-we-run-a-hundred-miles-an-hour-to-the-other-end-of-the-continent/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“But in this meditation technique, we are with the out-breath; there's no particular instruction about what to do until the next out-breath.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/but-in-this-meditation-technique-we-are-with-the-out-breath-there-s/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. Nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion. Perhaps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/nothing-ever-goes-away-until-it-has-taught-us-what-we-need-to-know/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn't sit for even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/so-even-if-the-hot-loneliness-is-there-and-for-1-6-seconds-we-sit/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If you have rage and righteously act it out and blame it all on others, it's really you who suffers. The other people and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-you-have-rage-and-righteously-act-it-out-and-blame-it-all-on/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“When we realize that the path is the goal, there’s a sense of workability. Trungpa Rinpoche said, “Whatever occurs in the confused mind is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-we-realize-that-the-path-is-the-goal-there-s-a-sense-of/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Every day is a new opportunity to work with what you have inside toward enlightenment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/every-day-is-a-new-opportunity-to-work-with-what-you-have-inside/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-someone-comes-along-and-shoots-an-arrow-into-your-heart-it-s/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) [Explore all 664 Pema Chodron quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## More Anger quotes > [“If I let myself think of it the pain and anger were still fresh, adrenalin racing down my limbs to pool, hot and itchy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kylie-ladd/if-i-let-myself-think-of-it-the-pain-and-anger-were-still-fresh/) [Kylie Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kylie-ladd/) > [I receive something we might euphemistically call an 'inappropriately hostile' response - that is to say, more than fair criticism or even fair anger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-beard/i-receive-something-we-might-euphemistically-call-an-inappropriately/) [Mary Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-beard/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [Anger is a rough water; if you can canalize it into a water mill, you can benefit from it. Anything bad can be transformed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/anger-is-a-rough-water-if-you-can-canalize-it-into-a-water-mill-you/) [Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [“Some say the Earth is angry Because he wants no company; I say the Earth is angry Because he lives alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/some-say-the-earth-is-angry-because-he-wants-no-company-i-say-the/) [N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [“Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It's much better to verbalize it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/medical-studies-have-shown-that-cursing-reduces-levels-of-stress-and/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [My care will be in the heart n not in words My anger will be in Words n not in the Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/my-care-will-be-in-the-heart-n-not-in-words-my-anger-will-be-in-words/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-be-a-negro-in-this-country-and-to-be-relatively-conscious-is-to-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/god-you-had-enough-time-to-have-been-through-it-three-times-you-ve/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [The present contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already in the cause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-bergson/the-present-contains-nothing-more-than-the-past-and-what-is-found-in/) [Henri Bergson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-bergson/) > [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/) [David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/) > [ “Where there are kashays (anger-pride-deceit-greed), there is worldly life. As long as anger-pride-deceit-greed exist; one is a sansaari \[living a worldly life\] regardless of… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/where-there-are-kashays-anger-pride-deceit-greed-there-is-worldly/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) [Browse all 7,469 Anger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The way I regard those who hurt me today will affect how I experience the world in the future. In any encounter, we have a choice: we can strengthen our resentment or our understanding and empathy. 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