--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The next step is to learn to communicate…" description: "\"The next step is to learn to communicate with the people that you feel are causing your pain and misery- not to learn how to prove them wrong and yours..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/pema-ch-dr-n-327_communicate_the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate_395699.png" --- # The next step is to learn to communicate with the people… ![“The next step is to learn to communicate with the people that you feel are causing your pain and misery- not to learn how to prove them wrong and yourself right but how to communicate from the heart.” quote by Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/pema-ch-dr-n-327_communicate_the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate_395699.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/pema-ch-dr-n-327_communicate_the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate_395699.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/pema-ch-dr-n-327_communicate_the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate_395699.png) > “The next step is to learn to communicate with the people that you feel are causing your pain and misery- not to learn how to prove them wrong and yourself right but how to communicate from the heart.” [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. True healing comes from open, heartfelt dialogue with those who hurt us, rather than trying to win arguments. **In simple terms:** Talk from the heart, not to win. Key Takeaway Seek understanding, not victory. Themes compassion communication conflict resolution Mood reflective empathetic Type advice inspirational When to use this quote - personal relationships - family disputes - workplace tension - therapy sessions Key Concepts mindfulness emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - How can you stay open while feeling pain? - What does “communicating from the heart” look like for you? A Different Perspective It can be hard to stay vulnerable when hurt is deep. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Communicate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communicate/) [Communicate Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communicate-heart-888434/) [Communicate People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communicate-people/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart/) [Learn Communicate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/learn-communicate-1304074/) [Misery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/misery/) [Next](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/next/) [Next step](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/next-step/) [Next steps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/next-steps/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Prove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/prove/) [Prove them wrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/prove-them-wrong/) [Right Communicate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/right-communicate-3463582/) [Steps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/steps/) ## Related quotes > [The right to communicate is a basic human right, and I believe that putting that on every national agenda is very important.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hamadoun-toure/the-right-to-communicate-is-a-basic-human-right-and-i-believe-that/) [Hamadoun Toure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hamadoun-toure/) > [The right of every person "to be let alone" must be placed in the scales with the right of others to communicate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-e-burger/the-right-of-every-person-to-be-let-alone-must-be-placed-in-the/) [Warren E. Burger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-e-burger/) > [“Try to communicate with heart than the brain because it fulfills the word humility.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adhil-abubacker/try-to-communicate-with-heart-than-the-brain-because-it-fulfills-the/) [Adhil Abubacker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adhil-abubacker/) > [Often we live side by side but do not communicate heart to heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-s-monson/often-we-live-side-by-side-but-do-not-communicate-heart-to-heart/) [Thomas S. Monson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-s-monson/) > [“If she died as a result of this journey, it wouldn't be because of slavers. It would be because Richard's inability to communicate would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/if-she-died-as-a-result-of-this-journey-it-wouldn-t-be-because-of/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [Learn how to communicate, learn how to speak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-matalin/learn-how-to-communicate-learn-how-to-speak/) [Mary Matalin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-matalin/) > [If you wish to have a harmonious relationship you must learn to communicate and compromise...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milana-may/if-you-wish-to-have-a-harmonious-relationship-you-must-learn-to/) [Milana May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milana-may/) > [“To lovers out there… How well do you communicate to your partner? You must learn to talk than to speak. In any relationship communication…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/de-philosopher-dj-kyos/to-lovers-out-there-how-well-do-you-communicate-to-your-partner-you/) [De philosopher DJ Kyos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/de-philosopher-dj-kyos/) > [We know that when people learn to communicate effectively with each other, their lives and their relationships can be truly transformed. This book gives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-gordon/we-know-that-when-people-learn-to-communicate-effectively-with-each/) [Thomas Gordon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-gordon/) > [It's very important that we learn how to communicate... and learn to respect each other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daryl-davis/it-s-very-important-that-we-learn-how-to-communicate-and-learn-to/) [Daryl Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daryl-davis/) > [It's through this medium of film that many of us learn about and communicate with one another, especially with people we don't know.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nia-dacosta/it-s-through-this-medium-of-film-that-many-of-us-learn-about-and/) [Nia DaCosta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nia-dacosta/) > [“Anyone can learn how to communicate with animals if they are open to the process and willing to practice.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-a-anderson/anyone-can-learn-how-to-communicate-with-animals-if-they-are-open-to/) [Karen A Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-a-anderson/) > [Stop fighting and learn how to communicate honestly with each other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-patrick/stop-fighting-and-learn-how-to-communicate-honestly-with-each-other/) [Richard Patrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-patrick/) > [Like a baby learning language, we learn how to communicate with God by listening to His words first.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/like-a-baby-learning-language-we-learn-how-to-communicate-with-god-by/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) > [With actors and directors, it's a conversation that you have. You have to learn each other's language and learn how to communicate with each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashton-kutcher/with-actors-and-directors-it-s-a-conversation-that-you-have-you-have/) [Ashton Kutcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashton-kutcher/) ## More by Pema Chodron > [“LIFE’S work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into your life wake you up rather than put you to sleep.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/life-s-work-is-to-wake-up-to-let-the-things-that-enter-into-your-life/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/since-death-is-certain-and-the-time-of-death-is-uncertain-what-is-the/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Buddhist words such as compassion and emptiness don't mean much until we start cultivating our innate ability simply to be there with pain with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/buddhist-words-such-as-compassion-and-emptiness-don-t-mean-much-until/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [The essence of generosity is letting go. Pain is always a sign that we are holding on to something - usually ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-generosity-is-letting-go-pain-is-always-a-sign-that-we/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“If the object of meditation were something concrete, something solid and graspable - an image or a statue or a dot on the floor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-the-object-of-meditation-were-something-concrete-something-solid/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [It's a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately fill up the space. By waiting, we begin to connect with fundamental restlessness as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/it-s-a-transformative-experience-to-simply-pause-instead-of/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“The essence of life is that it’s challenging. Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-life-is-that-it-s-challenging-sometimes-it-is-sweet/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-we-run-a-hundred-miles-an-hour-to-the-other-end-of-the-continent/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“But in this meditation technique, we are with the out-breath; there's no particular instruction about what to do until the next out-breath.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/but-in-this-meditation-technique-we-are-with-the-out-breath-there-s/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. Nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion. Perhaps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/nothing-ever-goes-away-until-it-has-taught-us-what-we-need-to-know/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn't sit for even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/so-even-if-the-hot-loneliness-is-there-and-for-1-6-seconds-we-sit/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If you have rage and righteously act it out and blame it all on others, it's really you who suffers. The other people and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-you-have-rage-and-righteously-act-it-out-and-blame-it-all-on/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“When we realize that the path is the goal, there’s a sense of workability. Trungpa Rinpoche said, “Whatever occurs in the confused mind is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-we-realize-that-the-path-is-the-goal-there-s-a-sense-of/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Every day is a new opportunity to work with what you have inside toward enlightenment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/every-day-is-a-new-opportunity-to-work-with-what-you-have-inside/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-someone-comes-along-and-shoots-an-arrow-into-your-heart-it-s/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) [Explore all 664 Pema Chodron quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## More Communicate quotes > [Verbs allow you to communicate a story in a much more converged or involuntary way for a reader. The verbs allow you to come…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/verbs-allow-you-to-communicate-a-story-in-a-much-more-converged-or/) [Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/) > [I have learned so much from my dad. Perhaps the biggest thing I've learned from my dad is how to be prepared at all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-sekulow/i-have-learned-so-much-from-my-dad-perhaps-the-biggest-thing-i-ve/) [Jay Sekulow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-sekulow/) > [Even people who can't communicate can fall in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaejoong/even-people-who-can-t-communicate-can-fall-in-love/) [Jaejoong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaejoong/) > [Our communications reflect in our countenance. Therefore, we must be careful not only what we communicate, but also how we do so. Souls can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-lionel-kendrick/our-communications-reflect-in-our-countenance-therefore-we-must-be/) [L. Lionel Kendrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-lionel-kendrick/) > [Always being on the move has strange consequences. I meet so many amazing people, for a night, or sometimes just a few days. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gaspar-claus/always-being-on-the-move-has-strange-consequences-i-meet-so-many/) [Gaspar Claus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gaspar-claus/) > [“Even without words, you communicate through touch, body language, and facial expression.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carmel-sheridan/even-without-words-you-communicate-through-touch-body-language-and/) [Carmel Sheridan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carmel-sheridan/) > [I could say that making clothes is my way of communicating, because I was always so shy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-paul-gaultier/i-could-say-that-making-clothes-is-my-way-of-communicating-because-i/) [Jean Paul Gaultier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-paul-gaultier/) > [I think there's confusion around what the point of social networks is. A lot of different companies characterized as social networks have different goals…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-zuckerberg/i-think-there-s-confusion-around-what-the-point-of-social-networks-is/) [Mark Zuckerberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-zuckerberg/) > [Language just gradually came in, one or two stressed words a time. Before then, I would just scream. I couldn't talk. I couldn't get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/temple-grandin/language-just-gradually-came-in-one-or-two-stressed-words-a-time/) [Temple Grandin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/temple-grandin/) > [Had Elijah Muhammad tried to introduce an orthodox form of Arab-oriented Islam, I doubt if he would have attracted 500 people, but he introduced…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-henrik-clarke/had-elijah-muhammad-tried-to-introduce-an-orthodox-form-of-arab/) [John Henrik Clarke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-henrik-clarke/) > [Must whales and dolphins be subjected to deafening noise that will cause more than 3.5 million instances of temporary and/or permanent hearing loss? For…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pierce-brosnan/must-whales-and-dolphins-be-subjected-to-deafening-noise-that-will/) [Pierce Brosnan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pierce-brosnan/) > [My wish for humanity is to invent a way to communicate between us and whatever comes next. And in the end that we the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sugata-mitra/my-wish-for-humanity-is-to-invent-a-way-to-communicate-between-us-and/) [Sugata Mitra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sugata-mitra/) > [Having people around you that are honest with you, and having a team around you that can actually track and communicate where things are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muneshine/having-people-around-you-that-are-honest-with-you-and-having-a-team/) [Muneshine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muneshine/) > [The most important thing for a director is being able to communicate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hart/the-most-important-thing-for-a-director-is-being-able-to-communicate/) [Kevin Hart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hart/) > [Sourav's greatest asset is his ability to communicate. He is a naturally very confident person. He encourages his team, is a great motivator and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ravi-shastri/sourav-s-greatest-asset-is-his-ability-to-communicate-he-is-a/) [Ravi Shastri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ravi-shastri/) [Browse all 2,325 Communicate quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communicate/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The next step is to learn to communicate with the people that you feel are causing your pain and misery- not to learn how to prove them wrong and yourself right but how to communicate from the heart.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Pema Chodron" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate-with-the-people-that-you/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Communicate" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate-with-the-people-that-you/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/pema-ch-dr-n-327_communicate_the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate_395699.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/pema-ch-dr-n-327_communicate_the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate_395699.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/pema-ch-dr-n-327_communicate_the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate_395699.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The next step is to learn to communicate with the people that you feel are causing your pain and misery- not…” — Pema Chodron", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Pema Chodron", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "The next step is to learn...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate-with-the-people-that-you/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-next-step-is-to-learn-to-communicate-with-the-people-that-you/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```