---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Our patterns are well established…"
description: "\"Our patterns are well established, seductive, and comforting. Just wanting for them to be ventilated isn't enough. Those of us who struggle with this k..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/pema-ch-dr-n-327_comforting_our-patterns-are-well-established-seduct_687249.jpg"
---

#  Our patterns are well established, seductive, and…

![“Our patterns are well established, seductive, and comforting. Just wanting for them to be ventilated isn't enough. Those of us who struggle with this know.” quote by Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/pema-ch-dr-n-327_comforting_our-patterns-are-well-established-seduct_687249.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/pema-ch-dr-n-327_comforting_our-patterns-are-well-established-seduct_687249.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/pema-ch-dr-n-327_comforting_our-patterns-are-well-established-seduct_687249.jpg)

> “Our patterns are well established, seductive, and comforting. Just wanting for them to be ventilated isn't enough. Those of us who struggle with this know.”

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Established patterns are alluring and comforting, yet merely ventilating them isn’t sufficient; those who struggle recognize deeper work is needed.

**In simple terms:** Comforting patterns need deeper change.

Key Takeaway

Address underlying habits.

Themes

psychology habit comfort growth mindfulness

Mood

calm inspirational thoughtful

Type

self‑help spiritual motivational

When to use this quote

- therapy sessions
- mindfulness practice
- personal coaching
- support groups

Key Concepts

behavioral change self‑awareness attachment theory

Questions to Reflect On

- What deeper work is required?
- How can one move beyond comfort?

A Different Perspective

Changing patterns can be painful and resistant.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Comforting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comforting/) [Karma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/karma/) [Patterns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/patterns/) [Practice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/practice/) [Seductive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/seductive/) [Struggle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/struggle/)

## Related quotes

> [It's something that is very comforting. Just the process of them moving throughout their stages of early childhood. Learning to walk, learning to talk.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jake-arrieta/it-s-something-that-is-very-comforting-just-the-process-of-them/)

[Jake Arrieta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jake-arrieta/)

> [“...her father was soothed by these attentions, as if pain were an appetite for comforting of just this kind.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilynne-robinson/her-father-was-soothed-by-these-attentions-as-if-pain-were-an/)

[Marilynne Robinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilynne-robinson/)

> [But victimhood was seductive, a release from responsibility and caring. Fear would be transmuted into weary resignation; failure would no longer generate guilt but,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/but-victimhood-was-seductive-a-release-from-responsibility-and-caring/)

[Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/)

> [It's too easy, you see, to get trapped in the past. The past is very seductive. People always talk about the mists of time,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susanna-kearsley/it-s-too-easy-you-see-to-get-trapped-in-the-past-the-past-is-very/)

[Susanna Kearsley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susanna-kearsley/)

> [“Patch's eyes grazed me with silent heat. My reflection swirled in them, red hair and lips aflame. I was connected to him by a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becca-fitzpatrick/patch-s-eyes-grazed-me-with-silent-heat-my-reflection-swirled-in-them/)

[Becca Fitzpatrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/becca-fitzpatrick/)

> [There was a moment when Prince did rock &amp; roll with a sponge-y seductive sound. I think that's what was in our head for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bono/there-was-a-moment-when-prince-did-rock-roll-with-a-sponge-y/)

[Bono](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bono/)

> [Feminism is, I hope, a way to a better future for everyone who inhabits this world. Feminism should not be something that needs a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/feminism-is-i-hope-a-way-to-a-better-future-for-everyone-who-inhabits/)

[Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/)

> [Fearful is the seductive power of goodness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bertolt-brecht/fearful-is-the-seductive-power-of-goodness/)

[Bertolt Brecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bertolt-brecht/)

> ['Diversity' is a wonderfully seductive word. It stresses differences rather than commonalities. Diverse people worldwide are mostly engaged in hating each other - that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-lamm/diversity-is-a-wonderfully-seductive-word-it-stresses-differences/)

[Richard Lamm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-lamm/)

> [Gerry Fialka's annual PXL THIS is a reliably surprising and seductive round-up of recent work achieved with the PXL 2000 camera. This humble outdated…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-almereyda/gerry-fialka-s-annual-pxl-this-is-a-reliably-surprising-and-seductive/)

Michael Almereyda

> [Aimee Parkison offers a distinct new voice to contemporary fiction. Her seductive stories explore childhood as a realm of sorrows, and reveal the afflictions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-anshaw/aimee-parkison-offers-a-distinct-new-voice-to-contemporary-fiction/)

[Carol Anshaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-anshaw/)

> [Here I encounter the most popular fallacy of our times. It is not considered sufficient that the law should guarantee to every citizen the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederic-bastiat/here-i-encounter-the-most-popular-fallacy-of-our-times-it-is-not/)

[Frederic Bastiat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederic-bastiat/)

> [“Ô, Wanderess, Wanderess When did you feel your most euphoric kiss? Was I the source of your greatest bliss?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roman-payne/wanderess-wanderess-when-did-you-feel-your-most-euphoric-kiss-was-i/)

[Roman Payne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roman-payne/)

> [I know it's a film and all of that, and it's a Hollywood film, but it kind of feels like this sometimes, when you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-marber/i-know-it-s-a-film-and-all-of-that-and-it-s-a-hollywood-film-but-it/)

[Patrick Marber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-marber/)

> [“He hit her with his best smile. Her eyes widened. She took a deep breath. 'Oh no, not that seductive face. I'm overcome with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-hit-her-with-his-best-smile-her-eyes-widened-she-took-a-deep/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

## More by Pema Chodron

> [“LIFE’S work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into your life wake you up rather than put you to sleep.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/life-s-work-is-to-wake-up-to-let-the-things-that-enter-into-your-life/)

[Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/since-death-is-certain-and-the-time-of-death-is-uncertain-what-is-the/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [Buddhist words such as compassion and emptiness don't mean much until we start cultivating our innate ability simply to be there with pain with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/buddhist-words-such-as-compassion-and-emptiness-don-t-mean-much-until/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [The essence of generosity is letting go. Pain is always a sign that we are holding on to something - usually ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-generosity-is-letting-go-pain-is-always-a-sign-that-we/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [“If the object of meditation were something concrete, something solid and graspable - an image or a statue or a dot on the floor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-the-object-of-meditation-were-something-concrete-something-solid/)

[Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [It's a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately fill up the space. By waiting, we begin to connect with fundamental restlessness as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/it-s-a-transformative-experience-to-simply-pause-instead-of/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [“The essence of life is that it’s challenging. Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-life-is-that-it-s-challenging-sometimes-it-is-sweet/)

[Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-we-run-a-hundred-miles-an-hour-to-the-other-end-of-the-continent/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [“But in this meditation technique, we are with the out-breath; there's no particular instruction about what to do until the next out-breath.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/but-in-this-meditation-technique-we-are-with-the-out-breath-there-s/)

[Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. Nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion. Perhaps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/nothing-ever-goes-away-until-it-has-taught-us-what-we-need-to-know/)

[Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn't sit for even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/so-even-if-the-hot-loneliness-is-there-and-for-1-6-seconds-we-sit/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [If you have rage and righteously act it out and blame it all on others, it's really you who suffers. The other people and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-you-have-rage-and-righteously-act-it-out-and-blame-it-all-on/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [“When we realize that the path is the goal, there’s a sense of workability. Trungpa Rinpoche said, “Whatever occurs in the confused mind is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-we-realize-that-the-path-is-the-goal-there-s-a-sense-of/)

[Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [Every day is a new opportunity to work with what you have inside toward enlightenment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/every-day-is-a-new-opportunity-to-work-with-what-you-have-inside/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-someone-comes-along-and-shoots-an-arrow-into-your-heart-it-s/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

[Explore all 664 Pema Chodron quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

## More Comforting quotes

> [“When you get lost in a really strange place, nothing is more comforting than found your friend whom you trust and can show the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-get-lost-in-a-really-strange-place-nothing-is-more/)

[Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/)

> [But victimhood was seductive, a release from responsibility and caring. Fear would be transmuted into weary resignation; failure would no longer generate guilt but,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/but-victimhood-was-seductive-a-release-from-responsibility-and-caring/)

[Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/)

> [“Because the truth wouldn't be comforting and wouldn't bring them closer again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/because-the-truth-wouldn-t-be-comforting-and-wouldn-t-bring-them/)

[Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/)

> [Soothing touch, whether it be applied to a ruffled cat, a crying infant, or a frightened child, has a universally recognized power to ameliorate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deane-juhan/soothing-touch-whether-it-be-applied-to-a-ruffled-cat-a-crying-infant/)

[Deane Juhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deane-juhan/)

> [“Reth reached out and took my fingers in his own, his touch light but comforting. “I’ve found that sacrifice is called that for a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiersten-white/reth-reached-out-and-took-my-fingers-in-his-own-his-touch-light-but/)

[Kiersten White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiersten-white/)

> [Euthanasia" is an excellent and comforting word! I am grateful to whoever invented it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bram-stoker/euthanasia-is-an-excellent-and-comforting-word-i-am-grateful-to/)

[Bram Stoker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bram-stoker/)

> [At first, I had such stage fright, and it was always comforting to look over and see my big brother.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sasha-spielberg/at-first-i-had-such-stage-fright-and-it-was-always-comforting-to-look/)

[Sasha Spielberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sasha-spielberg/)

> [Truth is often uncomfortable. It is only comforting to those who do not wish to ignore it. Then, truth becomes not only comforting, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neale-donald-walsch/truth-is-often-uncomfortable-it-is-only-comforting-to-those-who-do/)

[Neale Donald Walsch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neale-donald-walsch/)

> [I've been sent down to the minor leagues six or seven times in my career. You've just got to have that stability. It's huge.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-diaz/i-ve-been-sent-down-to-the-minor-leagues-six-or-seven-times-in-my/)

[Matt Diaz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-diaz/)

> [The upshot here is that Gil Scott-Heron is still a warrior, even if the front lines have moved. He's made a record not without…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-hermes/the-upshot-here-is-that-gil-scott-heron-is-still-a-warrior-even-if/)

[Will Hermes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-hermes/)

> [The person in misery does not need a look that judges and criticizes but a comforting presence that brings peace and hope and life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/the-person-in-misery-does-not-need-a-look-that-judges-and-criticizes/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [The search for God is a reversal of the normal, mundane worldly order. In search for God, you revert from what attracts you and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/the-search-for-god-is-a-reversal-of-the-normal-mundane-worldly-order/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [“Soeur Marie Emelie" Soeur Marie Emelie is little and very old: her eyes are onyx, and her cheeks vermilion, her apron wide and kind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caryll-houselander/soeur-marie-emelie-soeur-marie-emelie-is-little-and-very-old-her-eyes/)

[Caryll Houselander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caryll-houselander/)

> [I just found it interesting to talk to adults I admired, and to discover that the path they took was never all that clearly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anderson-cooper/i-just-found-it-interesting-to-talk-to-adults-i-admired-and-to/)

[Anderson Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anderson-cooper/)

> [What is this Charity, this clinking of money between strangers, and when did Charity cease to be a comforting and secret thing between one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stella-benson/what-is-this-charity-this-clinking-of-money-between-strangers-and/)

[Stella Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stella-benson/)

[Browse all 697 Comforting quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comforting/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "Our patterns are well established, seductive, and comforting. Just wanting for them to be ventilated isn't enough. Those of us who struggle with this know.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Pema Chodron"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/our-patterns-are-well-established-seductive-and-comforting-just/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Comforting"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/our-patterns-are-well-established-seductive-and-comforting-just/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/pema-ch-dr-n-327_comforting_our-patterns-are-well-established-seduct_687249.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/pema-ch-dr-n-327_comforting_our-patterns-are-well-established-seduct_687249.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/pema-ch-dr-n-327_comforting_our-patterns-are-well-established-seduct_687249.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Our patterns are well established, seductive, and comforting. Just wanting for them to be ventilated isn't…” — Pema Chodron",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Pema Chodron",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Our patterns are well established, seductive,...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/our-patterns-are-well-established-seductive-and-comforting-just/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/our-patterns-are-well-established-seductive-and-comforting-just/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
