--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Compassion isn't some kind of…" description: "\"Compassion isn't some kind of self-improvement project or ideal that we're trying to live up to. Having compassion starts and ends with having compassi..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/861/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_compassion-isn-t-some-kind-of-self-impro_874769.png" --- # Compassion isn't some kind of self-improvement project or… ![“Compassion isn't some kind of self-improvement project or ideal that we're trying to live up to. Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves, all those imperfections that we don't even want to look at.” quote by Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/861/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_compassion-isn-t-some-kind-of-self-impro_874769.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/861/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_compassion-isn-t-some-kind-of-self-impro_874769.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/861/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_compassion-isn-t-some-kind-of-self-impro_874769.png) > “Compassion isn't some kind of self-improvement project or ideal that we're trying to live up to. Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves, all those imperfections that we don't even want to look at.” [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Compassion is not a self‑improvement goal but an acceptance of all parts of ourselves, even the unwanted. **In simple terms:** Compassion means accepting every part of yourself. Key Takeaway Practice unconditional self‑acceptance. Themes self‑acceptance compassion inner work Mood reflective calm Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - therapy sessions - personal reflection - meditation - journaling Key Concepts mindfulness non‑judgment wholeness Questions to Reflect On - How can you hold space for your imperfections? - What practices help you see yourself kindly? A Different Perspective Compassion can be difficult when self‑criticism is strong. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Compassion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) [Ideals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ideals/) [Imperfection](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imperfection/) [Improvement](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/improvement/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Self improvement](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-improvement/) ## Related quotes > [Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves. The healing comes from letting there be room for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/having-compassion-starts-and-ends-with-having-compassion-for-all/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Compassion starts with making friends with ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/compassion-starts-with-making-friends-with-ourselves/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Compassion starts to breed when you feel the active desire to alleviate the sufferings of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arsenio-v-manalo-jr/compassion-starts-to-breed-when-you-feel-the-active-desire-to/) Arsenio V Manalo Jr > [Can you imagine if you really let it in that you are not a problem to be solved in any way? Imagine you knew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adyashanti/can-you-imagine-if-you-really-let-it-in-that-you-are-not-a-problem-to/) [Adyashanti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adyashanti/) > [I would like my life to be a statement of love and compassion--and where it isn't, that's where my work lies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/i-would-like-my-life-to-be-a-statement-of-love-and-compassion-and/) [Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/) > [“Self-compassion isn’t talked about as much as it should be, maybe because it’s often confused with its troublesome cousins, self-pity and self-indulgence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/self-compassion-isn-t-talked-about-as-much-as-it-should-be-maybe-2/) [Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/) > [“Self-compassion isn't talked about as much as it should be, maybe because it's often confused with its troublesome cousins, self-pity and self-indulgence. Psychologist Kristin…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/self-compassion-isn-t-talked-about-as-much-as-it-should-be-maybe/) [Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/) > [“How can you have so much compassion? Isn’t it exhausting caring so much?” “Not as exhausting as pretending not to care about anything.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tonya-burrows/how-can-you-have-so-much-compassion-isn-t-it-exhausting-caring-so/) [Tonya Burrows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tonya-burrows/) > [“Compassion isn't just about feeling the pain of others; it's about bringing them in toward yourself. If we love what God loves, then, in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregory-boyle/compassion-isn-t-just-about-feeling-the-pain-of-others-it-s-about-2/) [Gregory Boyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregory-boyle/) > [Compassion isn't a sign of weakness, but a mark of civilization.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-d-kristof/compassion-isn-t-a-sign-of-weakness-but-a-mark-of-civilization/) [Nicholas D. Kristof](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-d-kristof/) > [“Justice without compassion isn't justice; it's an abattoir.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amos-oz/justice-without-compassion-isn-t-justice-it-s-an-abattoir/) [Amos Oz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amos-oz/) > [But compassion isn't about solutions. It's about giving all the love that you've got.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-strayed/but-compassion-isn-t-about-solutions-it-s-about-giving-all-the-love/) [Cheryl Strayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-strayed/) > [Compassion isn't morose; it's something replenishing and opening; that's why it makes us happy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/compassion-isn-t-morose-it-s-something-replenishing-and-opening-that/) [Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/) > [“The nature of compassion isn't coming to terms with your own suffering and applying it to others: It's knowing that other folks around you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-connolly/the-nature-of-compassion-isn-t-coming-to-terms-with-your-own/) [John Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-connolly/) > [Resistance to unwanted circumstances has the power to keep those circumstances alive and well for a very long time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/resistance-to-unwanted-circumstances-has-the-power-to-keep-those/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## More by Pema Chodron > [“LIFE’S work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into your life wake you up rather than put you to sleep.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/life-s-work-is-to-wake-up-to-let-the-things-that-enter-into-your-life/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/since-death-is-certain-and-the-time-of-death-is-uncertain-what-is-the/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Buddhist words such as compassion and emptiness don't mean much until we start cultivating our innate ability simply to be there with pain with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/buddhist-words-such-as-compassion-and-emptiness-don-t-mean-much-until/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [The essence of generosity is letting go. Pain is always a sign that we are holding on to something - usually ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-generosity-is-letting-go-pain-is-always-a-sign-that-we/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“If the object of meditation were something concrete, something solid and graspable - an image or a statue or a dot on the floor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-the-object-of-meditation-were-something-concrete-something-solid/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [It's a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately fill up the space. By waiting, we begin to connect with fundamental restlessness as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/it-s-a-transformative-experience-to-simply-pause-instead-of/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“The essence of life is that it’s challenging. Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-life-is-that-it-s-challenging-sometimes-it-is-sweet/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-we-run-a-hundred-miles-an-hour-to-the-other-end-of-the-continent/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“But in this meditation technique, we are with the out-breath; there's no particular instruction about what to do until the next out-breath.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/but-in-this-meditation-technique-we-are-with-the-out-breath-there-s/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. Nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion. Perhaps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/nothing-ever-goes-away-until-it-has-taught-us-what-we-need-to-know/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn't sit for even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/so-even-if-the-hot-loneliness-is-there-and-for-1-6-seconds-we-sit/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If you have rage and righteously act it out and blame it all on others, it's really you who suffers. The other people and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-you-have-rage-and-righteously-act-it-out-and-blame-it-all-on/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“When we realize that the path is the goal, there’s a sense of workability. Trungpa Rinpoche said, “Whatever occurs in the confused mind is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-we-realize-that-the-path-is-the-goal-there-s-a-sense-of/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Every day is a new opportunity to work with what you have inside toward enlightenment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/every-day-is-a-new-opportunity-to-work-with-what-you-have-inside/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-someone-comes-along-and-shoots-an-arrow-into-your-heart-it-s/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) [Explore all 664 Pema Chodron quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## More Compassion quotes > [Half the misery of human life might be extinguished if men would alleviate the general curse they lie under by mutual offices of compassion,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/half-the-misery-of-human-life-might-be-extinguished-if-men-would/) [Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/) > [“I fight with love and kindness as my weapons and compassion as my defense.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debasish-mridha/i-fight-with-love-and-kindness-as-my-weapons-and-compassion-as-my/) [Debasish Mridha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debasish-mridha/) > [I really enjoy making people laugh; I've discovered that's a great technique. That's as powerful as stirring their sorrow, stirring their compassion, because that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/i-really-enjoy-making-people-laugh-i-ve-discovered-that-s-a-great/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [“If you refuse to use physical force, then you will be at the mercy of your oppressor!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/segun-magbagbeola/if-you-refuse-to-use-physical-force-then-you-will-be-at-the-mercy-of/) Segun Magbagbeola > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [I could not have slept tonight if I had left that helpless little creature to perish on the ground.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-lincoln/i-could-not-have-slept-tonight-if-i-had-left-that-helpless-little/) [Abraham Lincoln](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-lincoln/) > [We are puzzled and bewildered whenever we see suffering in this world because we have become accustomed to the mercy and the long-suffering of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-c-sproul/we-are-puzzled-and-bewildered-whenever-we-see-suffering-in-this-world/) [R. C. Sproul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-c-sproul/) > [“Helpers in every corner, helpers in every hood. That's how we'll make the move, to reform from rude.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/helpers-in-every-corner-helpers-in-every-hood-that-s-how-we-ll-make/) [Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/) > [There are a number of qualities which are important for mental peace, but from the little experience I have, I believe that one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/there-are-a-number-of-qualities-which-are-important-for-mental-peace/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [May the gods have mercy on whoever pisses them off, because Zarek and Jericho will have none for them. (Madoc) You’d better be glad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/may-the-gods-have-mercy-on-whoever-pisses-them-off-because-zarek-and/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-you-need-empathy-you-cannot-give-empathy/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [But victimhood was seductive, a release from responsibility and caring. Fear would be transmuted into weary resignation; failure would no longer generate guilt but,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/but-victimhood-was-seductive-a-release-from-responsibility-and-caring/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [“No one has any right to tell you that the way you perceive yourself is wrong. Because by doing so, they also discourage the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamand-kojouri/no-one-has-any-right-to-tell-you-that-the-way-you-perceive-yourself/) [Kamand Kojouri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamand-kojouri/) > [“la ilaha ilallah muhammadun rasulullah, alaihi salatullah wa alihi wal ahibba "shine your mercy like the sun, and be gracious as the earth let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/talib-al-habib/la-ilaha-ilallah-muhammadun-rasulullah-alaihi-salatullah-wa-alihi-wal/) Talib al Habib > [The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-darwin/the-love-for-all-living-creatures-is-the-most-noble-attribute-of-man/) [Charles Darwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-darwin/) [Browse all 9,892 Compassion quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Compassion isn't some kind of self-improvement project or ideal that we're trying to live up to. 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