--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: As long as our orientation is toward…" description: "\"As long as our orientation is toward perfection or success, we will never learn about unconditional friendship with ourselves, nor will we find compass..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-per_1976046.png" --- # As long as our orientation is toward perfection or… ![“As long as our orientation is toward perfection or success, we will never learn about unconditional friendship with ourselves, nor will we find compassion.” quote by Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-per_1976046.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-per_1976046.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-per_1976046.png) > “As long as our orientation is toward perfection or success, we will never learn about unconditional friendship with ourselves, nor will we find compassion.” [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Seeking perfection prevents self‑acceptance and true compassion for oneself. **In simple terms:** Perfection blocks self‑love. Key Takeaway Embrace imperfection to grow. Themes self‑acceptance compassion perfectionism friendship with self Mood reflective calm inspirational Type spiritual self‑help philosophical When to use this quote - personal growth - spiritual practice - self‑help Key Concepts mindfulness self‑compassion unconditional love Questions to Reflect On - How does striving for perfection affect your self‑kindness? - What practices foster self‑compassion? A Different Perspective Perfection is a useful goal in some contexts; balance is needed. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Compassion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Perfection](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/perfection/) [Success](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/success/) ## Related quotes > [Like birds landing on a tree top together, and then dispersing, we are together for a very short time, so it makes sense to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bokar-rinpoche/like-birds-landing-on-a-tree-top-together-and-then-dispersing-we-are/) [Bokar Rinpoche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bokar-rinpoche/) > [The functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/the-functions-of-intellect-are-insufficient-without-courage-love/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [“One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, and compassion”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simone-de-beauvoir/one-s-life-has-value-so-long-as-one-attributes-value-to-the-life-of/) [Simone de Beauvoir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simone-de-beauvoir/) > [“believe this is the greatest gift we can give each other as human beings, this sacred field of unconditional friendship where we allow each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-licata/believe-this-is-the-greatest-gift-we-can-give-each-other-as-human/) Matt Licata > [I have an odd relationship with motherhood. I've never had that relationship of this unconditional friendship, deep bond that you have with somebody, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dawn-o-porter/i-have-an-odd-relationship-with-motherhood-i-ve-never-had-that/) [Dawn O'Porter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dawn-o-porter/) > [When we sit down to meditate, we connect with something unconditional - a state of mind, a basic environment that does not grasp or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-we-sit-down-to-meditate-we-connect-with-something-unconditional/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Unconditional good heart toward others is not even a possibility unless we attend to our own demons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/unconditional-good-heart-toward-others-is-not-even-a-possibility/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Ego could be defined as whatever covers up basic goodness. From an experiential point of view, what is ego covering up? It's covering up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/ego-could-be-defined-as-whatever-covers-up-basic-goodness-from-an/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [The peace that we are looking for is not peace that crumbles as soon as there is difficulty or chaos. Whether we’re seeking inner…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-peace-that-we-are-looking-for-is-not-peace-that-crumbles-as-soon/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [The Buddha’s principal message that day was that holding on to anything blocks wisdom. Any conclusion that we draw must be let go. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-buddha-s-principal-message-that-day-was-that-holding-on-to/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Meditation takes us just as we are, with our confusion and our sanity. This complete acceptance of ourselves as we are is called maitri,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/meditation-takes-us-just-as-we-are-with-our-confusion-and-our-sanity/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [When you have an unconditional love of Life, then you love Life just the way it is showing up, right here, right now. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neale-donald-walsch/when-you-have-an-unconditional-love-of-life-then-you-love-life-just/) [Neale Donald Walsch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neale-donald-walsch/) > [Don’t worry about achieving. Don’t worry about perfection. Just be there each moment as best you can.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/don-t-worry-about-achieving-don-t-worry-about-perfection-just-be/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Buddhist words such as compassion and emptiness don't mean much until we start cultivating our innate ability simply to be there with pain with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/buddhist-words-such-as-compassion-and-emptiness-don-t-mean-much-until/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Christianity does not oppose debauchery and uncontrollable passions and the like as much as it opposes... flat mediocrity, this nauseating atmosphere, this homey, civil…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/soren-kierkegaard/christianity-does-not-oppose-debauchery-and-uncontrollable-passions/) [Soren Kierkegaard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/soren-kierkegaard/) ## More by Pema Chodron > [“LIFE’S work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into your life wake you up rather than put you to sleep.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/life-s-work-is-to-wake-up-to-let-the-things-that-enter-into-your-life/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/since-death-is-certain-and-the-time-of-death-is-uncertain-what-is-the/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Buddhist words such as compassion and emptiness don't mean much until we start cultivating our innate ability simply to be there with pain with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/buddhist-words-such-as-compassion-and-emptiness-don-t-mean-much-until/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [The essence of generosity is letting go. Pain is always a sign that we are holding on to something - usually ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-generosity-is-letting-go-pain-is-always-a-sign-that-we/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“If the object of meditation were something concrete, something solid and graspable - an image or a statue or a dot on the floor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-the-object-of-meditation-were-something-concrete-something-solid/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [It's a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately fill up the space. By waiting, we begin to connect with fundamental restlessness as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/it-s-a-transformative-experience-to-simply-pause-instead-of/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“The essence of life is that it’s challenging. Sometimes it is sweet, and sometimes it is bitter. Sometimes your body tenses, and sometimes it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/the-essence-of-life-is-that-it-s-challenging-sometimes-it-is-sweet/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-we-run-a-hundred-miles-an-hour-to-the-other-end-of-the-continent/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“But in this meditation technique, we are with the out-breath; there's no particular instruction about what to do until the next out-breath.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/but-in-this-meditation-technique-we-are-with-the-out-breath-there-s/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. Nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion. Perhaps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/nothing-ever-goes-away-until-it-has-taught-us-what-we-need-to-know/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn't sit for even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/so-even-if-the-hot-loneliness-is-there-and-for-1-6-seconds-we-sit/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If you have rage and righteously act it out and blame it all on others, it's really you who suffers. The other people and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-you-have-rage-and-righteously-act-it-out-and-blame-it-all-on/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“When we realize that the path is the goal, there’s a sense of workability. Trungpa Rinpoche said, “Whatever occurs in the confused mind is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/when-we-realize-that-the-path-is-the-goal-there-s-a-sense-of/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Every day is a new opportunity to work with what you have inside toward enlightenment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/every-day-is-a-new-opportunity-to-work-with-what-you-have-inside/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-someone-comes-along-and-shoots-an-arrow-into-your-heart-it-s/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) [Explore all 664 Pema Chodron quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) ## More Compassion quotes > [Half the misery of human life might be extinguished if men would alleviate the general curse they lie under by mutual offices of compassion,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/half-the-misery-of-human-life-might-be-extinguished-if-men-would/) [Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/) > [“I fight with love and kindness as my weapons and compassion as my defense.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debasish-mridha/i-fight-with-love-and-kindness-as-my-weapons-and-compassion-as-my/) [Debasish Mridha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debasish-mridha/) > [I really enjoy making people laugh; I've discovered that's a great technique. That's as powerful as stirring their sorrow, stirring their compassion, because that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/i-really-enjoy-making-people-laugh-i-ve-discovered-that-s-a-great/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [“If you refuse to use physical force, then you will be at the mercy of your oppressor!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/segun-magbagbeola/if-you-refuse-to-use-physical-force-then-you-will-be-at-the-mercy-of/) Segun Magbagbeola > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [I could not have slept tonight if I had left that helpless little creature to perish on the ground.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-lincoln/i-could-not-have-slept-tonight-if-i-had-left-that-helpless-little/) [Abraham Lincoln](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-lincoln/) > [We are puzzled and bewildered whenever we see suffering in this world because we have become accustomed to the mercy and the long-suffering of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-c-sproul/we-are-puzzled-and-bewildered-whenever-we-see-suffering-in-this-world/) [R. C. Sproul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-c-sproul/) > [“Helpers in every corner, helpers in every hood. That's how we'll make the move, to reform from rude.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/helpers-in-every-corner-helpers-in-every-hood-that-s-how-we-ll-make/) [Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/) > [There are a number of qualities which are important for mental peace, but from the little experience I have, I believe that one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/there-are-a-number-of-qualities-which-are-important-for-mental-peace/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [May the gods have mercy on whoever pisses them off, because Zarek and Jericho will have none for them. (Madoc) You’d better be glad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/may-the-gods-have-mercy-on-whoever-pisses-them-off-because-zarek-and/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-you-need-empathy-you-cannot-give-empathy/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [But victimhood was seductive, a release from responsibility and caring. Fear would be transmuted into weary resignation; failure would no longer generate guilt but,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/but-victimhood-was-seductive-a-release-from-responsibility-and-caring/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [“No one has any right to tell you that the way you perceive yourself is wrong. Because by doing so, they also discourage the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamand-kojouri/no-one-has-any-right-to-tell-you-that-the-way-you-perceive-yourself/) [Kamand Kojouri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamand-kojouri/) > [“la ilaha ilallah muhammadun rasulullah, alaihi salatullah wa alihi wal ahibba "shine your mercy like the sun, and be gracious as the earth let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/talib-al-habib/la-ilaha-ilallah-muhammadun-rasulullah-alaihi-salatullah-wa-alihi-wal/) Talib al Habib > [The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-darwin/the-love-for-all-living-creatures-is-the-most-noble-attribute-of-man/) [Charles Darwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-darwin/) [Browse all 9,892 Compassion quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "As long as our orientation is toward perfection or success, we will never learn about unconditional friendship with ourselves, nor will we find compassion.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Pema Chodron" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-perfection-or-success-we-will/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Compassion" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-perfection-or-success-we-will/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-per_1976046.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-per_1976046.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/pema-ch-dr-n-327_compassion_as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-per_1976046.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“As long as our orientation is toward perfection or success, we will never learn about unconditional…” — Pema Chodron", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Pema Chodron", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "As long as our orientation is...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-perfection-or-success-we-will/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/as-long-as-our-orientation-is-toward-perfection-or-success-we-will/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```