--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Yes, it is. It’s, like, when someone has…" description: "\"“Yes, it is. It’s, like, when someone has an affair, why does the wife always hate the other woman? Why doesn’t she hate her husband? He’s the one who’..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/68c/paula-hawkins-9343_marriage_yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an_2857586.jpg" --- # Yes, it is. It’s, like, when someone has an affair, why… ![“Yes, it is. It’s, like, when someone has an affair, why does the wife always hate the other woman? Why doesn’t she hate her husband? He’s the one who’s betrayed her, he’s the one who swore to love her and keep her and whatever forever and ever. Why isn’t he the one who gets shoved off a fucking…” quote by Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/68c/paula-hawkins-9343_marriage_yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an_2857586.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/68c/paula-hawkins-9343_marriage_yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an_2857586.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/68c/paula-hawkins-9343_marriage_yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an_2857586.jpg) > ““Yes, it is. It’s, like, when someone has an affair, why does the wife always hate the other woman? Why doesn’t she hate her husband? He’s the one who’s betrayed her, he’s the one who swore to love her and keep her and whatever forever and ever. Why isn’t he the one who gets shoved off a fucking cliff?”” [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People often blame the wrong party in infidelity, focusing on the outsider rather than the betrayer’s responsibility. **In simple terms:** Blame is misdirected in affairs. Key Takeaway Shift focus to the betrayer’s accountability. Themes relationships infidelity justice Mood critical reflective Type opinion analytical When to use this quote - marriage counseling - legal disputes - media commentary Key Concepts psychology of blame gender dynamics Questions to Reflect On - Why do we target the “other woman” more than the husband? - How can accountability be restored? A Different Perspective Complex emotions may oversimplify nuanced situations. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) ## Related quotes > [“that this is what I wanted my marriage to be like? This cold, unfeeling, back and forth that has left nothing but resentment and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-to-be-like-this-cold-unfeeling/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) > [“Poor woman, I shall support her as long as I can because she is a woman and because I hate her husband.” L”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-rodr-guez-mcrobbie/poor-woman-i-shall-support-her-as-long-as-i-can-because-she-is-a/) [Linda Rodríguez McRobbie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-rodr-guez-mcrobbie/) > [“If you had never known how good loving could be, you would not hate it so much with your husband.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-keyes/if-you-had-never-known-how-good-loving-could-be-you-would-not-hate-it/) [Greg Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-keyes/) > [“I say nothing, not one word, from beginning to end, and neither does he. If it were lawful for a woman to hate her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philippa-gregory/i-say-nothing-not-one-word-from-beginning-to-end-and-neither-does-he/) [Philippa Gregory](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philippa-gregory/) > [It'd be nice to say that American media doesn't hate this country.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-domenech/it-d-be-nice-to-say-that-american-media-doesn-t-hate-this-country/) [Ben Domenech](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-domenech/) > [Congress doesn't hate Congress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-abramoff/congress-doesn-t-hate-congress/) [Jack Abramoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-abramoff/) > [“The world doesn't hate you as much as you think it does.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koji-suzuki/the-world-doesn-t-hate-you-as-much-as-you-think-it-does/) [Koji Suzuki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koji-suzuki/) > [“There’s hardly anybody who doesn’t hate somebody now, and nobody at all whom somebody doesn’t hate.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/there-s-hardly-anybody-who-doesn-t-hate-somebody-now-and-nobody-at/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“It occurs to me,.. that the dilemmas of power are always the same." ... "Where there is feeling that is not requited,.. there is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/it-occurs-to-me-that-the-dilemmas-of-power-are-always-the-same-where/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [Doesn't everyone hate Kristen Stewart?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitriona-balfe/doesn-t-everyone-hate-kristen-stewart/) [Caitriona Balfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitriona-balfe/) > [“When I look at her now, I think, for just one second, that God doesn't hate me so much after all.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/when-i-look-at-her-now-i-think-for-just-one-second-that-god-doesn-t/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [Show me a movement that doesn't hate somebody and I will join it at once.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-anton-wilson/show-me-a-movement-that-doesn-t-hate-somebody-and-i-will-join-it-at/) [Robert Anton Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-anton-wilson/) > [You may say, 'God doesn't hate anybody. God is love.' No, my friend. You need to understand something. Jesus Christ taught, the prophets taught,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-washer/you-may-say-god-doesn-t-hate-anybody-god-is-love-no-my-friend-you/) [Paul Washer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-washer/) > [I'm pretty sure that every player who's ever played for me doesn't hate me. Now, we'd have to do a survey, but I've coached…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stan-van-gundy/i-m-pretty-sure-that-every-player-who-s-ever-played-for-me-doesn-t/) [Stan Van Gundy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stan-van-gundy/) > [“O how wonderful life is, how miraculous, God made this and God made that", "how do you know he doesn't hate what He did:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kerouac/o-how-wonderful-life-is-how-miraculous-god-made-this-and-god-made/) [Jack Kerouac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kerouac/) ## More by Paula Hawkins > [“It’s less acceptable to drink on the train on a Monday,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/it-s-less-acceptable-to-drink-on-the-train-on-a-monday/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“I am not the girl I used to be...it's as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/i-am-not-the-girl-i-used-to-be-it-s-as-if-people-can-see-the-damage/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“She felt it when she woke, not a presence but an absence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/she-felt-it-when-she-woke-not-a-presence-but-an-absence/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“Beautiful sunshine, cloudless skies, no one to play with, nothing to do. Living like this, the way I'm living at the moment, is harder…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/beautiful-sunshine-cloudless-skies-no-one-to-play-with-nothing-to-do/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“I want to drag knives over my skin, just to feel something other than shame, but I'm not even brave enough for that”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/i-want-to-drag-knives-over-my-skin-just-to-feel-something-other-than/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“I forgot to feel what I was supposed to be feeling...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/i-forgot-to-feel-what-i-was-supposed-to-be-feeling/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“gardens over. One of them was crying—maybe they both were—and there was a child bawling its head off,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/gardens-over-one-of-them-was-crying-maybe-they-both-were-and-there/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“The things I want to remember I can't, and the things I try so hard to forget just keep coming.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/the-things-i-want-to-remember-i-can-t-and-the-things-i-try-so-hard-to/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“the author claimed that blacking out wasn’t simply a matter of forgetting what had happened, but having no memories to forget in the first…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/the-author-claimed-that-blacking-out-wasn-t-simply-a-matter-of/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“LA VIE N’EST PAS UN PARAGRAPHE.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/la-vie-n-est-pas-un-paragraphe/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“me thinking straight. I take a shower, get dressed and make another cup of coffee, and then I sit down in the living room,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/me-thinking-straight-i-take-a-shower-get-dressed-and-make-another-cup/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“Something felt off, but I realized eventually that it was just me. Still,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/something-felt-off-but-i-realized-eventually-that-it-was-just-me-still/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“the holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/the-holes-in-your-life-are-permanent-you-have-to-grow-around-them/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“I don't remember things. I black out and I can't remember where I've been or what I've done. Sometimes I wonder if I've done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/i-don-t-remember-things-i-black-out-and-i-can-t-remember-where-i-ve/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“Some days I feel so bad that I have to drink; some days I feel so bad that I can’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/some-days-i-feel-so-bad-that-i-have-to-drink-some-days-i-feel-so-bad/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) [Explore all 64 Paula Hawkins quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) ## More Marriage quotes > [Unmarried couples should get married - that's an excellent tax avoidance measure, if a bit drastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-whiting/unmarried-couples-should-get-married-that-s-an-excellent-tax/) John Whiting > [I know for my wife and I, we always loved the idea of being young parents. It is an incredibly inspiring and challenging job…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-hanson/i-know-for-my-wife-and-i-we-always-loved-the-idea-of-being-young/) [Taylor Hanson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-hanson/) > [I cannot forbid a person to marry several wives, for it does not contradict Scripture. MARTIN LUTHER, letter to Chancellor Gregory Brück, January 13,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-de-la-bruyere/i-cannot-forbid-a-person-to-marry-several-wives-for-it-does-not/) [Jean de la Bruyere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-de-la-bruyere/) > [I don't like being away from home. That's one reason why I don't work as much as I used to \[when I started my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-powell/i-don-t-like-being-away-from-home-that-s-one-reason-why-i-don-t-work/) [Jane Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-powell/) > [Luckily, the bullet that hit my chest never got to me. It was stopped by a silver case I got for my brother's wedding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-doohan/luckily-the-bullet-that-hit-my-chest-never-got-to-me-it-was-stopped/) [James Doohan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-doohan/) > [Do you think that God would separate me from my husband if I killed myself? I feel as though I am going out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-you-think-that-god-would-separate-me-from-my-husband-if-i-killed/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-thing-about-hitting-kids-is-think-about-if-you-were-doing-the/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [“Take an interest in his appearance. Keeping his clothes in order is your job; encouraging him to look his best, and admiring him when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-baker/take-an-interest-in-his-appearance-keeping-his-clothes-in-order-is/) [Ellen Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-baker/) > [Females always say, you can't turn a hoe into a house wife, but steady be trying to turn a dog into a faithful man…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hussein-nishah/females-always-say-you-can-t-turn-a-hoe-into-a-house-wife-but-steady/) [Hussein Nishah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hussein-nishah/) > [He's a fool that marries; but he's a greater fool that does not marry a fool.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-wycherley/he-s-a-fool-that-marries-but-he-s-a-greater-fool-that-does-not-marry/) [William Wycherley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-wycherley/) > [Her dignity consists in being unknown to the world; her glory is in the esteem of her husband; her pleasures in the happiness of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-jacques-rousseau/her-dignity-consists-in-being-unknown-to-the-world-her-glory-is-in/) [Jean-Jacques Rousseau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-jacques-rousseau/) > [But I think that of all the literature that I studied, the book that did more than any other to fire my enthusiasm was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kwame-nkrumah/but-i-think-that-of-all-the-literature-that-i-studied-the-book-that/) [Kwame Nkrumah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kwame-nkrumah/) > [Most marriages don't add two people together. They subtract one from the other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ian-fleming/most-marriages-don-t-add-two-people-together-they-subtract-one-from/) [Ian Fleming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ian-fleming/) > [Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-l-mencken/alimony-the-ransom-that-the-happy-pay-to-the-devil/) [H. L. Mencken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-l-mencken/) > [“His own parents, the estimable Gilchrists, a couple who had taken the 'till death' part of their own wedding vows so seriously he wouldn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ally-blake/his-own-parents-the-estimable-gilchrists-a-couple-who-had-taken-the/) [Ally Blake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ally-blake/) [Browse all 31,920 Marriage quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Yes, it is. It’s, like, when someone has an affair, why does the wife always hate the other woman? Why doesn’t she hate her husband? He’s the one who’s betrayed her, he’s the one who swore to love her and keep her and whatever forever and ever. Why isn’t he the one who gets shoved off a fucking cliff?”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Paula Hawkins" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an-affair-why-does-the-wife/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Marriage" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an-affair-why-does-the-wife/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/68c/paula-hawkins-9343_marriage_yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an_2857586.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/68c/paula-hawkins-9343_marriage_yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an_2857586.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/68c/paula-hawkins-9343_marriage_yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an_2857586.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Yes, it is. It’s, like, when someone has an affair, why does the wife always hate the other woman? Why…” — Paula Hawkins", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Paula Hawkins", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Yes, it is. It’s, like, when...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an-affair-why-does-the-wife/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an-affair-why-does-the-wife/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```