--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But then I suppose I’ve never really lost…" description: "\"“But then I suppose I’ve never really lost anyone. How would I know what that kind of grief feels like?”\" — Paula Hawkins" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/paula-hawkins-9343_grief_but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-los_1895803.jpg" --- # But then I suppose I’ve never really lost anyone. How… ![“But then I suppose I’ve never really lost anyone. How would I know what that kind of grief feels like?” quote by Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/paula-hawkins-9343_grief_but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-los_1895803.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/paula-hawkins-9343_grief_but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-los_1895803.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/paula-hawkins-9343_grief_but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-los_1895803.jpg) > ““But then I suppose I’ve never really lost anyone. How would I know what that kind of grief feels like?”” [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker suggests that without experiencing deep loss, one cannot truly understand grief. **In simple terms:** You need loss to know grief. Key Takeaway Recognize the value of empathy for others' pain. Themes empathy grief understanding Mood reflective somber Type literary emotional When to use this quote - supporting friends - counseling - personal reflection - writing about loss Key Concepts psychology emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - How does personal loss change your view of others' suffering? - Can you empathize without having lived it? A Different Perspective Grief can be imagined but not fully felt without personal experience. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) ## Related quotes > [I have an eight-year-old child, and I literally can't wrap my mind around the kind of grief that must be felt when you lose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainn-wilson/i-have-an-eight-year-old-child-and-i-literally-can-t-wrap-my-mind/) [Rainn Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainn-wilson/) > [It's a different kind of grief when you lose a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luke-campbell/it-s-a-different-kind-of-grief-when-you-lose-a-parent/) [Luke Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luke-campbell/) > [I think the worst kind of grief is unacknowledged grief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerry-adams/i-think-the-worst-kind-of-grief-is-unacknowledged-grief/) [Gerry Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gerry-adams/) > [I think I am beginning to understand why grief feels like suspense. It comes from the frustration of so many impulses that had become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-think-i-am-beginning-to-understand-why-grief-feels-like-suspense-it/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I am dropping my keys on the table inside the door before I fully remember. There is no one to hear this news, nowhere…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-am-dropping-my-keys-on-the-table-inside-the-door-before-i-fully/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“Grief said C.S. Lewis is like "a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape." This is so. The lessons that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/grief-said-c-s-lewis-is-like-a-winding-valley-where-any-bend-may/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [“You cannot die from grief, though it feels like you can. A heart does not actually break, though sometimes you chest aches as if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/you-cannot-die-from-grief-though-it-feels-like-you-can-a-heart-does/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [“And grief still feels like fear. Perhaps, more strictly, like suspense. Or like waiting; just hanging about waiting for something to happen. It gives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/and-grief-still-feels-like-fear-perhaps-more-strictly-like-suspense/) [C.S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) > [I talk about things like how to lose without losing identity. All loss and grief feels like when you transition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-white/i-talk-about-things-like-how-to-lose-without-losing-identity-all-loss/) [Paula White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-white/) > [You can not die of grief, though it feels as if you can. A heart does not actually break, though sometimes your chest aches…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/you-can-not-die-of-grief-though-it-feels-as-if-you-can-a-heart-does/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [“Words are like nets - we hope they'll cover what we mean, but we know they can't possibly hold that much joy, or grief,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jodi-picoult/words-are-like-nets-we-hope-they-ll-cover-what-we-mean-but-we-know/) [Jodi Picoult](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jodi-picoult/) > [That's what it feels like when I write, like I have this beautiful world in my head, but when I try to remember it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-ozeki/that-s-what-it-feels-like-when-i-write-like-i-have-this-beautiful/) [Ruth Ozeki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-ozeki/) > [New York feels like home now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francisco-lindor/new-york-feels-like-home-now/) [Francisco Lindor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francisco-lindor/) > [She feels like kicking out all the windows And setting fire to this life She could change everything about her using colors bold and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-matthews/she-feels-like-kicking-out-all-the-windows-and-setting-fire-to-this/) [Dave Matthews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-matthews/) > [“It feels like he's taken your heart, doesn't it?…Like he's reached in and pulled it out from you. And I bet he smiles like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/it-feels-like-he-s-taken-your-heart-doesn-t-it-like-he-s-reached-in/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) ## More by Paula Hawkins > [“It’s less acceptable to drink on the train on a Monday,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/it-s-less-acceptable-to-drink-on-the-train-on-a-monday/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“I am not the girl I used to be...it's as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/i-am-not-the-girl-i-used-to-be-it-s-as-if-people-can-see-the-damage/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“She felt it when she woke, not a presence but an absence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/she-felt-it-when-she-woke-not-a-presence-but-an-absence/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“Beautiful sunshine, cloudless skies, no one to play with, nothing to do. Living like this, the way I'm living at the moment, is harder…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/beautiful-sunshine-cloudless-skies-no-one-to-play-with-nothing-to-do/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“I want to drag knives over my skin, just to feel something other than shame, but I'm not even brave enough for that”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/i-want-to-drag-knives-over-my-skin-just-to-feel-something-other-than/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“I forgot to feel what I was supposed to be feeling...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/i-forgot-to-feel-what-i-was-supposed-to-be-feeling/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“gardens over. One of them was crying—maybe they both were—and there was a child bawling its head off,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/gardens-over-one-of-them-was-crying-maybe-they-both-were-and-there/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“The things I want to remember I can't, and the things I try so hard to forget just keep coming.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/the-things-i-want-to-remember-i-can-t-and-the-things-i-try-so-hard-to/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“the author claimed that blacking out wasn’t simply a matter of forgetting what had happened, but having no memories to forget in the first…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/the-author-claimed-that-blacking-out-wasn-t-simply-a-matter-of/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“LA VIE N’EST PAS UN PARAGRAPHE.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/la-vie-n-est-pas-un-paragraphe/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“me thinking straight. I take a shower, get dressed and make another cup of coffee, and then I sit down in the living room,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/me-thinking-straight-i-take-a-shower-get-dressed-and-make-another-cup/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“Something felt off, but I realized eventually that it was just me. Still,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/something-felt-off-but-i-realized-eventually-that-it-was-just-me-still/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“the holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/the-holes-in-your-life-are-permanent-you-have-to-grow-around-them/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“I don't remember things. I black out and I can't remember where I've been or what I've done. Sometimes I wonder if I've done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/i-don-t-remember-things-i-black-out-and-i-can-t-remember-where-i-ve/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“Some days I feel so bad that I have to drink; some days I feel so bad that I can’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/some-days-i-feel-so-bad-that-i-have-to-drink-some-days-i-feel-so-bad/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) [Explore all 64 Paula Hawkins quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) ## More Feels quotes > [Women still, when they have breast cancer, go to work; they still lead their lives. They have to. I just did what I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/monica-potter/women-still-when-they-have-breast-cancer-go-to-work-they-still-lead/) [Monica Potter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/monica-potter/) > [Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/scrabble-the-game-is-available-in-braille-that-s-a-nice-fact-this/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [We all know what it feels like to love someone and care about them and want to protect them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiana-madeira/we-all-know-what-it-feels-like-to-love-someone-and-care-about-them/) [Kiana Madeira](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiana-madeira/) > [Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-morrison/pain-is-meant-to-wake-us-up-people-try-to-hide-their-pain-but-they-re/) [Jim Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-morrison/) > [I think most artists feel like they're outside society - no matter how many accolades they receive, or how much money is in your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aaron-rose/i-think-most-artists-feel-like-they-re-outside-society-no-matter-how/) [Aaron Rose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aaron-rose/) > [Most days, I go home and I feel rejuvenated. I feel ebullient.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/siddhartha-mukherjee/most-days-i-go-home-and-i-feel-rejuvenated-i-feel-ebullient/) [Siddhartha Mukherjee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/siddhartha-mukherjee/) > [Do you think that God would separate me from my husband if I killed myself? I feel as though I am going out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-you-think-that-god-would-separate-me-from-my-husband-if-i-killed/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [When you're scared - and I mean really scared, not just hearing a noise in the night, or standing toe to toe with someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-gordon-smith/when-you-re-scared-and-i-mean-really-scared-not-just-hearing-a-noise/) [Alexander Gordon Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-gordon-smith/) > [Personal Style comes from within. It's when the woman, her individuality and spirit come through. She uses clothes to express who she is and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-karan/personal-style-comes-from-within-it-s-when-the-woman-her/) [Donna Karan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-karan/) > [(knitting while on a motorcycle) "For several years she knitted in secret (my father would not approve; she was to concentrate on motorcycling and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-zimmermann/knitting-while-on-a-motorcycle-for-several-years-she-knitted-in/) [Elizabeth Zimmermann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-zimmermann/) > [Then come to realize that you're making mountains out of molehills. Realize how petty you've become. Sure, it may feel like you can't get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/then-come-to-realize-that-you-re-making-mountains-out-of-molehills/) [Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/) > [A lot of indigenous cultures are deeply involved in working with ancestor spirits, elemental spirits, and demons. Many of these cultures feel that, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-pinchbeck/a-lot-of-indigenous-cultures-are-deeply-involved-in-working-with/) [Daniel Pinchbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-pinchbeck/) > [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/) [Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/) > [I have observed this in my experience of slavery, - that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-douglass/i-have-observed-this-in-my-experience-of-slavery-that-whenever-my/) [Frederick Douglass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-douglass/) > [I feel like I could eat the world raw.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeline-miller/i-feel-like-i-could-eat-the-world-raw/) [Madeline Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeline-miller/) Browse all 38,933 Feels quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“But then I suppose I’ve never really lost anyone. How would I know what that kind of grief feels like?”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Paula Hawkins" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-lost-anyone-how-would-i-know/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Feels" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-lost-anyone-how-would-i-know/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/paula-hawkins-9343_grief_but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-los_1895803.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/paula-hawkins-9343_grief_but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-los_1895803.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5e/paula-hawkins-9343_grief_but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-los_1895803.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“But then I suppose I’ve never really lost anyone. How would I know what that kind of grief feels like?” — Paula Hawkins", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Paula Hawkins", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“But then I suppose I’ve never...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-lost-anyone-how-would-i-know/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/but-then-i-suppose-i-ve-never-really-lost-anyone-how-would-i-know/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```