--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: And why was I still here? I felt I was…" description: "\"“And why was I still here? I felt I was killing time, especially in Russia, which, in spite of all the talk of change and reform, seemed exactly the sa..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/paul-theroux-913_change_and-why-was-i-still-here-i-felt-i-was-ki_2930653.jpg" --- # And why was I still here? I felt I was killing time… ![“And why was I still here? I felt I was killing time, especially in Russia, which, in spite of all the talk of change and reform, seemed exactly the same place as it had ever been: a pretentious empire with a cruel government that was helpless without secret police.” quote by Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/paul-theroux-913_change_and-why-was-i-still-here-i-felt-i-was-ki_2930653.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/paul-theroux-913_change_and-why-was-i-still-here-i-felt-i-was-ki_2930653.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/paul-theroux-913_change_and-why-was-i-still-here-i-felt-i-was-ki_2930653.jpg) > ““And why was I still here? I felt I was killing time, especially in Russia, which, in spite of all the talk of change and reform, seemed exactly the same place as it had ever been: a pretentious empire with a cruel government that was helpless without secret police.”” [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator feels stuck in a stagnant, oppressive society despite promises of reform. **In simple terms:** Feeling trapped in a seemingly unchanged, harsh place. Key Takeaway Seek authentic change beyond surface promises. Themes politics disillusionment travel society Mood melancholic critical Type literary reflective When to use this quote - expatriate life - journalism - activism - personal growth Key Concepts authoritarianism reform fatigue Questions to Reflect On - What signs of change are genuine? - How do you maintain hope in such environments? 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I feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/i-feel-as-if-my-mission-is-to-write-to-see-to-observe-and-i-feel-lazy/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [The larger an English industry was, the more likely it was to go bankrupt, because the English were not naturally corporate people; they disliked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/the-larger-an-english-industry-was-the-more-likely-it-was-to-go/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [Maine out of season is unmistakably a great destination: hospitable, good-humored, plenty of elbow room, short days, dark nights of crackling ice crystals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/maine-out-of-season-is-unmistakably-a-great-destination-hospitable/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [You can't write about a friend, you can only write about a former friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/you-can-t-write-about-a-friend-you-can-only-write-about-a-former/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [“sightseeing, an activity that delights the truly idle because it seems so much like scholarship, gawping and eavesdropping on antiquity, flattering oneself with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/sightseeing-an-activity-that-delights-the-truly-idle-because-it-seems/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [The Australian Book of Etiquette is a very slim volume.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/the-australian-book-of-etiquette-is-a-very-slim-volume/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [Tourists who go to Africa have more of a traditional experience than Africans do. 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Guevara's collapse was complete: his intentions were forgotten, but his style was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/in-a-way-che-guevara-s-fate-was-far-worse-than-simon-bolivar-s/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [It is the simplest fact of Indian life: there are too many Indians.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/it-is-the-simplest-fact-of-indian-life-there-are-too-many-indians/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [Pain does not create a long-lasting memory, but the memory of luxury exerts itself for ever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/pain-does-not-create-a-long-lasting-memory-but-the-memory-of-luxury/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [When I began to make some money, I really wanted to have a home.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/when-i-began-to-make-some-money-i-really-wanted-to-have-a-home/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [Men in their late 50s often make very bad decisions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/men-in-their-late-50s-often-make-very-bad-decisions/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [The wish to disappear sends many travelers away. If you are thoroughly sick of being kept waiting at home or at work, travel is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-theroux/the-wish-to-disappear-sends-many-travelers-away-if-you-are-thoroughly/) [Paul Theroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-theroux/) > [To a lot of Africans, seeing an animal is a something of a rarity. 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I can give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/only-within-yourself-exists-the-other-reality-for-which-you-long-i/) [Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/) > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I can't believe that I'm sitting in meetings with Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, and Annette Bening. I want to take on that responsibility to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/i-can-t-believe-that-i-m-sitting-in-meetings-with-steven-spielberg/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [“…progress isn't necessarily about change but about things turning out as we want them to”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-hogan/progress-isn-t-necessarily-about-change-but-about-things-turning-out/) [Phil Hogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-hogan/) > [Nobody can tell me that no changes are necessary in Washington.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-weld/nobody-can-tell-me-that-no-changes-are-necessary-in-washington/) [William Weld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-weld/) > [If my campaign is not in the debate, we will not be talking about how we really fix this problem of endless and expanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-stein/if-my-campaign-is-not-in-the-debate-we-will-not-be-talking-about-how/) [Jill Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-stein/) > [When you walk down the street of Kabul your values for life changes, they do change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marco-pierre-white/when-you-walk-down-the-street-of-kabul-your-values-for-life-changes/) [Marco Pierre White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marco-pierre-white/) > [Your world will change whether or not you choose to change, but you have the power to choose it's direction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/your-world-will-change-whether-or-not-you-choose-to-change-but-you/) [Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/) > [I hope I continue to evolve.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-flair/i-hope-i-continue-to-evolve/) [Charlotte Flair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-flair/) > [“Stay focused on bringing people together and more on positive messaging so that you can be the change you wish to see in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germany-kent/stay-focused-on-bringing-people-together-and-more-on-positive/) [Germany Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germany-kent/) > [The biggest change for me as a mom was realizing I needed to put someone else before me. 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