--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Consider having as a friend, co-worker…" description: "\"“Consider having as a friend, co-worker, or lover a person who in terms of emotional control and disguise was like a three-month-old infant, yet in all..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dea/paul-ekman-11999_emotional-control_consider-having-as-a-friend-co-worker-or_868337.jpg" --- # Consider having as a friend, co-worker, or lover a person… ![“Consider having as a friend, co-worker, or lover a person who in terms of emotional control and disguise was like a three-month-old infant, yet in all other respects—intelligence, skills, and so on—was fully able as any adult. It is a painful prospect.” quote by Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dea/paul-ekman-11999_emotional-control_consider-having-as-a-friend-co-worker-or_868337.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dea/paul-ekman-11999_emotional-control_consider-having-as-a-friend-co-worker-or_868337.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dea/paul-ekman-11999_emotional-control_consider-having-as-a-friend-co-worker-or_868337.jpg) > ““Consider having as a friend, co-worker, or lover a person who in terms of emotional control and disguise was like a three-month-old infant, yet in all other respects—intelligence, skills, and so on—was fully able as any adult. It is a painful prospect.”” [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A person lacking emotional regulation yet fully competent is a painful paradox. **In simple terms:** Emotional immaturity despite adult abilities is distressing. Key Takeaway Recognize and address emotional development. Themes emotional intelligence relationships psychology maturity Mood thoughtful analytical Type psychological advice When to use this quote - workplace dynamics - romantic partnership - friendship - team collaboration Key Concepts self‑awareness emotional regulation Questions to Reflect On - How do you balance competence with emotional growth? - What strategies help develop emotional maturity? A Different Perspective Emotional control can be improved with effort. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Emotional control](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional-control/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) ## Related quotes > [“you don’t expect much, if you don’t inquire in a way that respects the intelligence of the other person, you probably won’t find many…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-klein/you-don-t-expect-much-if-you-don-t-inquire-in-a-way-that-respects-the/) [Gary Klein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-klein/) > [“She thinks that charm is a form of intelligence, and she respects the intelligence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brooke-hauser/she-thinks-that-charm-is-a-form-of-intelligence-and-she-respects-the/) Brooke Hauser > [“Book lover n. 1. A person devoted to reading 2. One who would rather stay inside and read than go outside and play. 3.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dictionary/book-lover-n-1-a-person-devoted-to-reading-2-one-who-would-rather/) Dictionary > [LOVER(S), A person who could only be more perfect if your partner turned into a pizza at 4:00 am](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/lover-s-a-person-who-could-only-be-more-perfect-if-your-partner/) [Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/) > [“If the conversations of two people bound by a tie of intimacy are full of lies, these crop up no less spontaneously in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/if-the-conversations-of-two-people-bound-by-a-tie-of-intimacy-are/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [The poet, like the lover, is a person unable to reconcile what he knows with what he feels. His peculiarity is that he is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/babette-deutsch/the-poet-like-the-lover-is-a-person-unable-to-reconcile-what-he-knows/) [Babette Deutsch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/babette-deutsch/) > [You may have some friends that come and go, but having a friend like God will last forever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alyssa-tillmon/you-may-have-some-friends-that-come-and-go-but-having-a-friend-like/) [Alyssa Tillmon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alyssa-tillmon/) > [There are a lot of parallels between the historical Henry VIII and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. There's an oscillation and extremity of emotion throughout his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natalie-dormer/there-are-a-lot-of-parallels-between-the-historical-henry-viii-and/) [Natalie Dormer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natalie-dormer/) > [“Not enough people realize that ADHD is not a disorder about loss of focus. It is a disorder of loss of emotional control, which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-l-alder/not-enough-people-realize-that-adhd-is-not-a-disorder-about-loss-of/) [Shannon L. Alder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-l-alder/) > [“Anyone can visit the Astral plane by the mechanism of Astral projection. As a citizen of the universe, you have the absolute right to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-vetsch/anyone-can-visit-the-astral-plane-by-the-mechanism-of-astral/) W. C. Vetsch > [Emotional control is essential for attaining higher levels of mind. The thing that the teacher looks for in a student is the degree of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/emotional-control-is-essential-for-attaining-higher-levels-of-mind/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [It's hard for these athletes to stay healthy. They are constantly being bombarded with unhealthy advertising. Peer pressure can override the body's demand for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-kessel/it-s-hard-for-these-athletes-to-stay-healthy-they-are-constantly/) [John Kessel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-kessel/) > [“I am constantly approached by people who are willing to go to any extreme for personal safety...except practicing basic emotional control.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marc-macyoung/i-am-constantly-approached-by-people-who-are-willing-to-go-to-any/) [Marc MacYoung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marc-macyoung/) > [“THE SEVEN TRAITS OF ELITE CAPTAINS 1. Extreme doggedness and focus in competition. 2. Aggressive play that tests the limits of the rules. 3.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-walker/the-seven-traits-of-elite-captains-1-extreme-doggedness-and-focus-in/) [Sam Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-walker/) > [“Dr. Stern’s explanation of how to identify this kind of covert emotional control and abuse, and how to resist it, is a very important…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-stern/dr-stern-s-explanation-of-how-to-identify-this-kind-of-covert/) [Robin Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-stern/) ## More by Paul Ekman > [“he is afraid of being falsely accused. Worried that if he looks afraid people will think he is a liar, he may try to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/he-is-afraid-of-being-falsely-accused-worried-that-if-he-looks-afraid/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“3. When the behavior changes occur in relation to a specific topic or question, that tells the lie catcher this could be a hot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/3-when-the-behavior-changes-occur-in-relation-to-a-specific-topic-or/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“There has never been a Supreme Court ruling on the admissibility of polygraph evidence in federal court.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/there-has-never-been-a-supreme-court-ruling-on-the-admissibility-of/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“For six weeks after the Normandy invasion the Germans persisted in their error, keeping many of their troops in readiness at Calais rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/for-six-weeks-after-the-normandy-invasion-the-germans-persisted-in/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“This distinction between believing-a-lie and disbelieving-the-truth is important because it forces attention to the twin dangers for the lie catcher. There is no way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/this-distinction-between-believing-a-lie-and-disbelieving-the-truth/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“Sometimes one is better off misled. The host may be better off thinking the guest enjoyed himself; the wife happier believing that she can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/sometimes-one-is-better-off-misled-the-host-may-be-better-off/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [No important relationship survives if trust is totally lost.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/no-important-relationship-survives-if-trust-is-totally-lost/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [Crucial to how we feel is being aware of how we are feeling in the moment. The sine qua non of that is to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/crucial-to-how-we-feel-is-being-aware-of-how-we-are-feeling-in-the/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [Most liars can fool most people most of the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/most-liars-can-fool-most-people-most-of-the-time/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“posture appropriate for a formal interview is not the posture assumed when talking with a friend. Posture seems well under control and successfully managed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/posture-appropriate-for-a-formal-interview-is-not-the-posture-assumed/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“Although it is illegal in eighteen states, to ask employees to take the polygraph test, employers reportedly can find ways around those laws.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/although-it-is-illegal-in-eighteen-states-to-ask-employees-to-take/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“The failure to remember is not a lie, although liars will often try to excuse their lies, once discovered, by claiming a memory failure.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/the-failure-to-remember-is-not-a-lie-although-liars-will-often-try-to/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“President Reagan proposed further broadening the use of the polygraph test. All executive departments were authorized to “require employees to take a polygraph examination…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/president-reagan-proposed-further-broadening-the-use-of-the-polygraph/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“I don’t give a shit what happens, I want you to stonewall it, let them plead the Fifth Amendment, or anything else, if it’ll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/i-don-t-give-a-shit-what-happens-i-want-you-to-stonewall-it-let-them/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) > [“The relevant framework is not one of morality but of survival. At every level, from brute camouflage to poetic vision, the linguistic capacity to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ekman/the-relevant-framework-is-not-one-of-morality-but-of-survival-at/) [Paul Ekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) [Explore all 57 Paul Ekman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ekman/) ## More Emotional control quotes > [“Dr. Stern’s explanation of how to identify this kind of covert emotional control and abuse, and how to resist it, is a very important…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-stern/dr-stern-s-explanation-of-how-to-identify-this-kind-of-covert/) [Robin Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-stern/) > [“THE SEVEN TRAITS OF ELITE CAPTAINS 1. Extreme doggedness and focus in competition. 2. Aggressive play that tests the limits of the rules. 3.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-walker/the-seven-traits-of-elite-captains-1-extreme-doggedness-and-focus-in/) [Sam Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-walker/) > [“I am constantly approached by people who are willing to go to any extreme for personal safety...except practicing basic emotional control.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marc-macyoung/i-am-constantly-approached-by-people-who-are-willing-to-go-to-any/) [Marc MacYoung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marc-macyoung/) > [“Not enough people realize that ADHD is not a disorder about loss of focus. It is a disorder of loss of emotional control, which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-l-alder/not-enough-people-realize-that-adhd-is-not-a-disorder-about-loss-of/) [Shannon L. Alder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-l-alder/) > [There are a lot of parallels between the historical Henry VIII and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. There's an oscillation and extremity of emotion throughout his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natalie-dormer/there-are-a-lot-of-parallels-between-the-historical-henry-viii-and/) [Natalie Dormer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natalie-dormer/) > [“Anyone can visit the Astral plane by the mechanism of Astral projection. As a citizen of the universe, you have the absolute right to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-vetsch/anyone-can-visit-the-astral-plane-by-the-mechanism-of-astral/) W. C. Vetsch > [Emotional control is essential for attaining higher levels of mind. The thing that the teacher looks for in a student is the degree of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/emotional-control-is-essential-for-attaining-higher-levels-of-mind/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [It's hard for these athletes to stay healthy. They are constantly being bombarded with unhealthy advertising. Peer pressure can override the body's demand for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-kessel/it-s-hard-for-these-athletes-to-stay-healthy-they-are-constantly/) [John Kessel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-kessel/) > [“Studies have documented that families who habitually eat dinner together seem to raise children with better homework skills, higher grades, greater emotional control, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-duhigg/studies-have-documented-that-families-who-habitually-eat-dinner/) [Charles Duhigg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-duhigg/) > [“Emotional control typically relies on various subtle tricks, such as changing how one thinks about the problem at hand, or distracting oneself. Hence,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roy-f-baumeister/emotional-control-typically-relies-on-various-subtle-tricks-such-as/) [Roy F. Baumeister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roy-f-baumeister/) > [“Two Dimensions of Executive Skills: Thinking and Doing Executive skills involving thinking (cognition) Working memory Planning/prioritization Organization Time management Metacognition Executive skills involving doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-guare/two-dimensions-of-executive-skills-thinking-and-doing-executive/) [Richard Guare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-guare/) > [ “The critical nature of 'choices' -- \[the\] timing will prove to be an asset or liability; it will reward wisdom or expose stupidity. Either… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-f-hodge/the-critical-nature-of-choices-the-timing-will-prove-to-be-an-asset/) [T.F. Hodge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-f-hodge/) > [“If you lose your temper, you lose!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-diaz/if-you-lose-your-temper-you-lose/) [Richard Diaz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-diaz/) > [You can't make good decisions that are going to be meaningful, productive, when you lose control, and you have to maintain mental control, emotional…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-wooden/you-can-t-make-good-decisions-that-are-going-to-be-meaningful/) [John Wooden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-wooden/) > [“I've heard it said that the children of conflict seekers are raised to have the emotional control their parents lack and then some -that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-kelly/i-ve-heard-it-said-that-the-children-of-conflict-seekers-are-raised/) [Scott Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-kelly/) [Browse all 23 Emotional control quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional-control/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Consider having as a friend, co-worker, or lover a person who in terms of emotional control and disguise was like a three-month-old infant, yet in all other respects—intelligence, skills, and so on—was fully able as any adult. 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