---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Asking to hold a musician’s instrument is…"
description: "\"“Asking to hold a musician’s instrument is roughly similar to asking to kiss a man’s wife.”\" — Patrick Rothfuss"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d1/patrick-rothfuss-145_marriage_asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-i_1363310.jpg"
---

#  Asking to hold a musician’s instrument is roughly similar…

![“Asking to hold a musician’s instrument is roughly similar to asking to kiss a man’s wife.” quote by Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d1/patrick-rothfuss-145_marriage_asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-i_1363310.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d1/patrick-rothfuss-145_marriage_asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-i_1363310.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d1/patrick-rothfuss-145_marriage_asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-i_1363310.jpg)

> ““Asking to hold a musician’s instrument is roughly similar to asking to kiss a man’s wife.””

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Physical intimacy and personal boundaries are distinct; asking for one does not imply the other.

**In simple terms:** Respect boundaries; consent is specific.

Key Takeaway

Ask clearly and respect refusals.

Themes

consent boundaries respect intimacy

Mood

respectful thoughtful

Type

ethical educational

When to use this quote

- dating
- musical collaboration
- teaching settings

Key Concepts

ethical philosophy social norms

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you ensure consent in ambiguous situations?
- What cultural differences affect boundary perception?

A Different Perspective

Misunderstandings can arise without clear communication.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Instrument](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/instrument/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Music](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/music/) [Music making](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/music-making/) [Song](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/song/)

## Related quotes

> [“Asking to hold a musician's instrument is roughly similar to asking to kiss a man's wife. Nonmusicians don't understand. An instrument is like a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-is-roughly-similar-to-asking-2/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [Music comes from the musician, not the instrument.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-wooten/music-comes-from-the-musician-not-the-instrument/)

[Victor Wooten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-wooten/)

> [“An entrepreneur without funding is a musician without an instrument.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-a-rice-jr/an-entrepreneur-without-funding-is-a-musician-without-an-instrument/)

Robert A. Rice Jr

> [I'm not asking for diamonds, I'm not asking for the world, I'm just asking that you hold me, and call me your baby girl. ¥](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kaylee-smicklo/i-m-not-asking-for-diamonds-i-m-not-asking-for-the-world-i-m-just/)

[Kaylee Smicklo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kaylee-smicklo/)

> [Im not asking for diamonds I not asking for the world I'm just asking for you to hold me and call me your babby…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristina-gallai/im-not-asking-for-diamonds-i-not-asking-for-the-world-i-m-just-asking/)

Kristina Gallai

> [I'm asking you if you can hold me down lord..be my umbrella-ella-ella, in this down pour.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-cole/i-m-asking-you-if-you-can-hold-me-down-lord-be-my-umbrella-ella-ella/)

[J Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-cole/)

> [As a musician, your instrument is almost predetermined. I had played drums, piano, clarinet, but when I heard Wayne Shorter play the saxophone, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamasi-washington/as-a-musician-your-instrument-is-almost-predetermined-i-had-played/)

[Kamasi Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamasi-washington/)

> [I play bass. I play a bit of guitar. I've never been to a lesson, so my theory of music is non-existent in any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sangster/i-play-bass-i-play-a-bit-of-guitar-i-ve-never-been-to-a-lesson-so-my/)

[Thomas Sangster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sangster/)

> [We all know that there are many people that can play the instrument perfectly today, up and down with technical perfection, but does the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-finckel/we-all-know-that-there-are-many-people-that-can-play-the-instrument/)

[David Finckel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-finckel/)

> [A well trained body is a beautiful instrument on which to play the melody of the present moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-yee/a-well-trained-body-is-a-beautiful-instrument-on-which-to-play-the/)

[Rodney Yee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-yee/)

> [It is the photographer, not the camera, that is the instrument.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-is-the-photographer-not-the-camera-that-is-the-instrument/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I had decided that if I was going to be a singer, I had to earn it. I had to learn how to play…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madonna-ciccone/i-had-decided-that-if-i-was-going-to-be-a-singer-i-had-to-earn-it-i/)

[Madonna Ciccone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madonna-ciccone/)

> [But if you listen to great piano players, both classical and jazz, there's a huge range of dynamics and colors and emotional expression that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-burton/but-if-you-listen-to-great-piano-players-both-classical-and-jazz/)

[Gary Burton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-burton/)

> [Kenny G, I have to be grateful to him for proving that the instrument can be played all different kinds of ways.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-lacy/kenny-g-i-have-to-be-grateful-to-him-for-proving-that-the-instrument/)

[Steve Lacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-lacy/)

> [Money is the kind of instrument which is very speedily produced.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anatoly-chubais/money-is-the-kind-of-instrument-which-is-very-speedily-produced/)

[Anatoly Chubais](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anatoly-chubais/)

## More by Patrick Rothfuss

> [Each woman is like an instrument, waiting to be learned, loved, and finely played, to have at last her own true music made.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/each-woman-is-like-an-instrument-waiting-to-be-learned-loved-and/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [It's like the query letter problem that I just mentioned, magnified a hundredfold. You might be good at telling a story, but that doesn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/it-s-like-the-query-letter-problem-that-i-just-mentioned-magnified-a/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [“Prefiero tocar canciones que divierten a mis amigos que complacer a quienes me juzgan basándose solo en habladurías" - Kvothe”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/prefiero-tocar-canciones-que-divierten-a-mis-amigos-que-complacer-a/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [“Wilem snorted."That doesn't sound suspicious at all," he said. "And you wonder why people talk about you." "I don't wonder why they talk," I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/wilem-snorted-that-doesn-t-sound-suspicious-at-all-he-said-and-you/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [“The point isn't to win the game. The point is to play a beautiful game. (paraphrased)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/the-point-isn-t-to-win-the-game-the-point-is-to-play-a-beautiful-game/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [I was nervous about writing Slow Regard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/i-was-nervous-about-writing-slow-regard/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [I am no poet. I do not love words for the sake of words. I love words for what they can accomplish. Similarly, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/i-am-no-poet-i-do-not-love-words-for-the-sake-of-words-i-love-words/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [“There is something deeply satisfying in shaping something with your hands. Proper artificing is like a song made solid. It is an act of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/there-is-something-deeply-satisfying-in-shaping-something-with-your/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [He had a bright, reckless tenor that was always wandering off, looking for notes in the wrong places.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/he-had-a-bright-reckless-tenor-that-was-always-wandering-off-looking/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [I smiled,"Deoch, my heart is made of stronger stuff than glass. When she strikes she'll find it strong as iron-bound brass, or gold and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/i-smiled-deoch-my-heart-is-made-of-stronger-stuff-than-glass-when-she/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [I have a blog where I keep in touch with my fans. I write about things that are important to me. Sometimes on there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/i-have-a-blog-where-i-keep-in-touch-with-my-fans-i-write-about-things/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [Soft fantasy worlds have a much looser cause-and-effect relationship. Alchemists can turn lead into gold and nobody wonders about how it will impact the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/soft-fantasy-worlds-have-a-much-looser-cause-and-effect-relationship/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [But how awful would that be? How terrible to live surrounded by the stark, sharp, hollowness of things that simply were enough?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/but-how-awful-would-that-be-how-terrible-to-live-surrounded-by-the/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [ Here's the thing: Authors live or die by recommendations. \[That's one of the reason I review so many books on Goodreads.\] Giving books you… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/here-s-the-thing-authors-live-or-die-by-recommendations-that-s-one-of/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

> [I was pretty poor for a long time. Not \*poor\* poor. But college student poor. I lived for most of my adult life living…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/i-was-pretty-poor-for-a-long-time-not-poor-poor-but-college-student/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

[Explore all 895 Patrick Rothfuss quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

## More Instrument quotes

> [Money is the kind of instrument which is very speedily produced.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anatoly-chubais/money-is-the-kind-of-instrument-which-is-very-speedily-produced/)

[Anatoly Chubais](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anatoly-chubais/)

> [Kenny G, I have to be grateful to him for proving that the instrument can be played all different kinds of ways.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-lacy/kenny-g-i-have-to-be-grateful-to-him-for-proving-that-the-instrument/)

[Steve Lacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-lacy/)

> [But if you listen to great piano players, both classical and jazz, there's a huge range of dynamics and colors and emotional expression that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-burton/but-if-you-listen-to-great-piano-players-both-classical-and-jazz/)

[Gary Burton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-burton/)

> [We should picture the instrument that carries our mental functioning as resembling a compound microscope or photographic apparatus.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sigmund-freud/we-should-picture-the-instrument-that-carries-our-mental-functioning/)

[Sigmund Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sigmund-freud/)

> [I had decided that if I was going to be a singer, I had to earn it. I had to learn how to play…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madonna-ciccone/i-had-decided-that-if-i-was-going-to-be-a-singer-i-had-to-earn-it-i/)

[Madonna Ciccone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madonna-ciccone/)

> [I particularly enjoy cello music because our daughter plays the cello. I have listened to her practice for so many hours that I am…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-cleary/i-particularly-enjoy-cello-music-because-our-daughter-plays-the-cello/)

[Beverly Cleary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-cleary/)

> [It is the photographer, not the camera, that is the instrument.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-is-the-photographer-not-the-camera-that-is-the-instrument/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [A well trained body is a beautiful instrument on which to play the melody of the present moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rodney-yee/a-well-trained-body-is-a-beautiful-instrument-on-which-to-play-the/)

[Rodney Yee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rodney-yee/)

> [“Some people look like they sound better than they actually sound, because they look confident and have good posture," once musician, a veteran of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malcolm-gladwell/some-people-look-like-they-sound-better-than-they-actually-sound/)

[Malcolm Gladwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malcolm-gladwell/)

> [The camera is simply not the supple and powerful instrument of description that the pen is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-malcolm/the-camera-is-simply-not-the-supple-and-powerful-instrument-of/)

[Janet Malcolm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-malcolm/)

> [For the greater beauty of the instrument, the balls representing the planets are to be of considerable bigness; but so contrived, that they may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-rittenhouse/for-the-greater-beauty-of-the-instrument-the-balls-representing-the/)

David Rittenhouse

> [We all know that there are many people that can play the instrument perfectly today, up and down with technical perfection, but does the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-finckel/we-all-know-that-there-are-many-people-that-can-play-the-instrument/)

[David Finckel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-finckel/)

> [I play bass. I play a bit of guitar. I've never been to a lesson, so my theory of music is non-existent in any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sangster/i-play-bass-i-play-a-bit-of-guitar-i-ve-never-been-to-a-lesson-so-my/)

[Thomas Sangster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sangster/)

> [Like my best friend, I asked for drums for Christmas, and got them. But when he moved on to guitar, I realized two things:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-iles/like-my-best-friend-i-asked-for-drums-for-christmas-and-got-them-but/)

[Greg Iles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-iles/)

> [No one familiar with the common law of England can read the Constitution of the United States without observing the great desire of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-freeman-miller/no-one-familiar-with-the-common-law-of-england-can-read-the/)

[Samuel Freeman Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-freeman-miller/)

[Browse all 570 Instrument quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/instrument/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Asking to hold a musician’s instrument is roughly similar to asking to kiss a man’s wife.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Patrick Rothfuss"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-is-roughly-similar-to-asking/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Instrument"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-is-roughly-similar-to-asking/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d1/patrick-rothfuss-145_marriage_asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-i_1363310.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d1/patrick-rothfuss-145_marriage_asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-i_1363310.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d1/patrick-rothfuss-145_marriage_asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-i_1363310.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Asking to hold a musician’s instrument is roughly similar to asking to kiss a man’s wife.” — Patrick Rothfuss",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Patrick Rothfuss",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Asking to hold a musician’s instrument...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-is-roughly-similar-to-asking/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/asking-to-hold-a-musician-s-instrument-is-roughly-similar-to-asking/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
