--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Much energy goes into looking good and…" description: "\"“Much energy goes into looking good and shoring up any holes that may appear in that image. This is where the pain starts, in the tremendous distance b..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8cc/patrick-j-carnes-33171_looking-good_much-energy-goes-into-looking-good-and-s_2969072.jpg" --- # Much energy goes into looking good and shoring up any… ![“Much energy goes into looking good and shoring up any holes that may appear in that image. This is where the pain starts, in the tremendous distance between idealistic expectations and actual performance.” quote by Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8cc/patrick-j-carnes-33171_looking-good_much-energy-goes-into-looking-good-and-s_2969072.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8cc/patrick-j-carnes-33171_looking-good_much-energy-goes-into-looking-good-and-s_2969072.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8cc/patrick-j-carnes-33171_looking-good_much-energy-goes-into-looking-good-and-s_2969072.jpg) > ““Much energy goes into looking good and shoring up any holes that may appear in that image. This is where the pain starts, in the tremendous distance between idealistic expectations and actual performance.”” [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Excessive focus on appearance creates a painful gap between ideal and reality, causing distress. **In simple terms:** Obsessing over looks creates a painful gap. Key Takeaway Accept realistic standards, reduce self‑criticism. Themes self‑image perfectionism pain Mood reflective cautious Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - appearance - social media - performance arts Key Concepts psychology self‑esteem image management Questions to Reflect On - How can you align expectations with reality? - What steps reduce the pressure of ideal images? A Different Perspective Focusing solely on image can hinder well‑being. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Distance Idealistic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/distance-idealistic-4560665/) [Holes Appear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/holes-appear-4560666/) [Idealistic Expectations](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/idealistic-expectations-4560667/) [Image Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/image-pain-4560664/) [Looking good](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looking-good/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Pain Starts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain-starts-995663/) ## Related quotes > [High heels can make girl feel like she is on top of the world but the pain starts when she starts walking on them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/high-heels-can-make-girl-feel-like-she-is-on-top-of-the-world-but-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Each time I try, I lose my aim. And the pain starts all over again. It's not an easy target. It's hopeless. But after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bhuwan-thapaliya/each-time-i-try-i-lose-my-aim-and-the-pain-starts-all-over-again-it-s/) [Bhuwan Thapaliya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bhuwan-thapaliya/) > [“It was like pressing your thumbnail against a radiator when it's really hot and the pain starts and it makes you want to cry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-haddon/it-was-like-pressing-your-thumbnail-against-a-radiator-when-it-s/) [Mark Haddon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-haddon/) > [If I ever leave home without my insoles, I send someone for them because after a day the pain starts to return.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-white/if-i-ever-leave-home-without-my-insoles-i-send-someone-for-them/) [Jimmy White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-white/) > [Looking at somebody looking good is so... boring.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gaby-hoffmann/looking-at-somebody-looking-good-is-so-boring/) [Gaby Hoffmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gaby-hoffmann/) > [I am defined by my will to survive, not by intelligence or cunning or money or good looks. The Creator didn't see her way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaune-quick-to-see-smith/i-am-defined-by-my-will-to-survive-not-by-intelligence-or-cunning-or/) [Jaune Quick–to–See Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaune-quick-to-see-smith/) > [You may be right that people say: You know what, we had Obama. He was inexperienced. The guy had great rhetoric, sounded good, looked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karl-rove/you-may-be-right-that-people-say-you-know-what-we-had-obama-he-was/) [Karl Rove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karl-rove/) > [Looking Good with my new car,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/krystal/looking-good-with-my-new-car/) [Krystal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/krystal/) > [Me myself with my new cap looking good](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/reynold/me-myself-with-my-new-cap-looking-good/) [Reynold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/reynold/) > [Oh, shut up. He is not saying that he's too good-looking to be friends with girls. But then again, yesterday at the beach, there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiersten-white/oh-shut-up-he-is-not-saying-that-he-s-too-good-looking-to-be-friends/) [Kiersten White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiersten-white/) > [When I was a kid, nobody told me I was good-looking. I wish they had. I would've had a better time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-redford/when-i-was-a-kid-nobody-told-me-i-was-good-looking-i-wish-they-had-i/) [Robert Redford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-redford/) > [It’s because I’m so good-looking, isn’t it?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiera-cass/it-s-because-i-m-so-good-looking-isn-t-it/) [Kiera Cass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiera-cass/) > [You know what getting married is? It's agreeing to taking this person who right now is at the top of his form, full of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-smiley/you-know-what-getting-married-is-it-s-agreeing-to-taking-this-person/) [Jane Smiley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-smiley/) > [I went through a really good-looking phase from birth to 9. And then things went crazy. I don't know what happened, but between 9…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cristin-milioti/i-went-through-a-really-good-looking-phase-from-birth-to-9-and-then/) [Cristin Milioti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cristin-milioti/) > [I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/i-had-no-musical-or-athletic-ability-and-i-wasn-t-particularly-good/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) ## More by Patrick J. Carnes > [“Betrayal, addiction and trauma weave a design of continually recycled wounds that create an overarching pattern of compulsive relationships.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/betrayal-addiction-and-trauma-weave-a-design-of-continually-recycled/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“In part this is an intimacy disorder, for as soon as she starts to recommit to the relationship, he starts distancing himself. The intensity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/in-part-this-is-an-intimacy-disorder-for-as-soon-as-she-starts-to/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“What moves betrayal into the realm of trauma is fear and terror. If the wound is deep enough, and the terror big enough, your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/what-moves-betrayal-into-the-realm-of-trauma-is-fear-and-terror-if/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“However, sexual anorexics do have a definite profile that separates them from the larger population of those having difficulty being sexual: They are often…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/however-sexual-anorexics-do-have-a-definite-profile-that-separates/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“Loyalty to that which does not work, or worse, to a person who is toxic, exploitive or destructive to you, is a form of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/loyalty-to-that-which-does-not-work-or-worse-to-a-person-who-is-toxic/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“Seduction is high warmth with low intention”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/seduction-is-high-warmth-with-low-intention/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“Addicts can clearly know they need to stop and cannot. Despite the consequences they continue high-risk behavior. They become so obsessed with the behavior…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/addicts-can-clearly-know-they-need-to-stop-and-cannot-despite-the/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“Deprivation draws on two convictions: (1) The deprived person does not believe that he or she is worthy or deserving of pleasure or comfort;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/deprivation-draws-on-two-convictions-1-the-deprived-person-does-not/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“By the Middles Ages it was a sin to have sex with a child. If an adult were guilty of such a sin, one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/by-the-middles-ages-it-was-a-sin-to-have-sex-with-a-child-if-an-adult/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“They are often extremely competent people who are committed to doing things very well and have a fear of making mistakes and being human.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/they-are-often-extremely-competent-people-who-are-committed-to-doing/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“It is also the soothing, medicating and nurturing that are part of betrayal bonding. Both partners are obsessed with whether she is going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/it-is-also-the-soothing-medicating-and-nurturing-that-are-part-of/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“We are so used to our own history, we do not see it as remarkable or out of the ordinary, whereas others might see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/we-are-so-used-to-our-own-history-we-do-not-see-it-as-remarkable-or/) [patrick j. carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“In the 1980s, research on post traumatic stress disorder in Vietnam veterans was regarded as important, noble, and useful. When the same researchers looked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/in-the-1980s-research-on-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-in-vietnam/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) > [“By the nineteenth century, society had given up burning witches. Yet the sexual exploitation of children continued. In late-nineteenth-century Britain, for example, men who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-j-carnes/by-the-nineteenth-century-society-had-given-up-burning-witches-yet/) [Patrick J. Carnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) [Explore all 15 Patrick J. Carnes quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-j-carnes/) ## More Looking good quotes > [I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/i-had-no-musical-or-athletic-ability-and-i-wasn-t-particularly-good/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [I went through a really good-looking phase from birth to 9. And then things went crazy. I don't know what happened, but between 9…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cristin-milioti/i-went-through-a-really-good-looking-phase-from-birth-to-9-and-then/) [Cristin Milioti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cristin-milioti/) > [You know what getting married is? It's agreeing to taking this person who right now is at the top of his form, full of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-smiley/you-know-what-getting-married-is-it-s-agreeing-to-taking-this-person/) [Jane Smiley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-smiley/) > [It’s because I’m so good-looking, isn’t it?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiera-cass/it-s-because-i-m-so-good-looking-isn-t-it/) [Kiera Cass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiera-cass/) > [When I was a kid, nobody told me I was good-looking. I wish they had. I would've had a better time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-redford/when-i-was-a-kid-nobody-told-me-i-was-good-looking-i-wish-they-had-i/) [Robert Redford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-redford/) > [Oh, shut up. He is not saying that he's too good-looking to be friends with girls. But then again, yesterday at the beach, there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiersten-white/oh-shut-up-he-is-not-saying-that-he-s-too-good-looking-to-be-friends/) [Kiersten White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiersten-white/) > [Me myself with my new cap looking good](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/reynold/me-myself-with-my-new-cap-looking-good/) [Reynold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/reynold/) > [Looking Good with my new car,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/krystal/looking-good-with-my-new-car/) [Krystal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/krystal/) > [You may be right that people say: You know what, we had Obama. He was inexperienced. The guy had great rhetoric, sounded good, looked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karl-rove/you-may-be-right-that-people-say-you-know-what-we-had-obama-he-was/) [Karl Rove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karl-rove/) > [I am defined by my will to survive, not by intelligence or cunning or money or good looks. The Creator didn't see her way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaune-quick-to-see-smith/i-am-defined-by-my-will-to-survive-not-by-intelligence-or-cunning-or/) [Jaune Quick–to–See Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaune-quick-to-see-smith/) > [Looking at somebody looking good is so... boring.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gaby-hoffmann/looking-at-somebody-looking-good-is-so-boring/) [Gaby Hoffmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gaby-hoffmann/) > [Design means being good, not just looking good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clement-mok/design-means-being-good-not-just-looking-good/) [Clement Mok](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clement-mok/) > [My father's rich, my momma's good looking. Right? And I can play the Blues. I've never suffered and don't intend to suffer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miles-davis/my-father-s-rich-my-momma-s-good-looking-right-and-i-can-play-the/) [Miles Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miles-davis/) > [The dream was to not only make a good-looking film that engaged, but also had the DNA of the show so the fans would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-fellner/the-dream-was-to-not-only-make-a-good-looking-film-that-engaged-but/) [Eric Fellner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-fellner/) > [Most actors don't like doing still photo shoots, but I love them. I'm very comfortable, and I enjoy the clothes, looking good, and freezing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asin/most-actors-don-t-like-doing-still-photo-shoots-but-i-love-them-i-m/) [Asin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asin/) [Browse all 661 Looking good quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looking-good/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Much energy goes into looking good and shoring up any holes that may appear in that image. This is where the pain starts, in the tremendous distance between idealistic expectations and actual performance.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Patrick J. 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