--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When others hurt us in ways we don't…" description: "\"When others hurt us in ways we don't deserve, at some point we will come to the crossroads of decision. We will have to look our pain square in the fac..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba5/pam-w-vredevelt-100482_anger_when-others-hurt-us-in-ways-we-don-t-des_2046775.jpg" --- # When others hurt us in ways we don't deserve, at some… ![“When others hurt us in ways we don't deserve, at some point we will come to the crossroads of decision. We will have to look our pain square in the face and ask, "Am I going to hang on to my anger and do violence to myself, or am I going to forgive those who have wounded me? Am I going to allow…” quote by Pam W. Vredevelt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba5/pam-w-vredevelt-100482_anger_when-others-hurt-us-in-ways-we-don-t-des_2046775.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba5/pam-w-vredevelt-100482_anger_when-others-hurt-us-in-ways-we-don-t-des_2046775.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba5/pam-w-vredevelt-100482_anger_when-others-hurt-us-in-ways-we-don-t-des_2046775.jpg) > “When others hurt us in ways we don't deserve, at some point we will come to the crossroads of decision. We will have to look our pain square in the face and ask, "Am I going to hang on to my anger and do violence to myself, or am I going to forgive those who have wounded me? Am I going to allow bitterness to poison and putrefy my soul, or am I going to invite God to empower me to let the anger go?"” [Pam W. Vredevelt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pam-w-vredevelt/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. We must choose between nurturing anger or forgiveness, as each path shapes our inner health. **In simple terms:** Choose forgiveness over bitterness to protect your soul. Key Takeaway Forgive to heal, not to condone harm. Themes anger forgiveness inner conflict spirituality choice Mood reflective determined Type Anger:1 Asks:0 Bitterness:1 Crossroads:1 Decision:1 Deserve:0 Empowering:0 Faces:0 Forgive:1 Forgiving:1 Hurt:1 Invites:0 Looks:0 My soul:0 Pain:1 Poison:0 Soul:1 Squares:0 Violence:0 Way:0 Wounded:1 Hurt U:0 Let Anger:0 Going Forgive:0 Forgive Wounded:0 Allow Bitterness:0 When to use this quote - personal trauma recovery - spiritual practice - conflict counseling - mental health therapy Key Concepts self‑control emotional intelligence psychological resilience Questions to Reflect On - What does forgiveness mean to you in this situation? - How might holding anger affect your future wellbeing? A Different Perspective Forgiveness can be difficult when pain is deep and ongoing. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Allow Bitterness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/allow-bitterness-3837117/) [Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) [Asks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asks/) [Bitterness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bitterness/) [Crossroads](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/crossroads/) [Decision](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/decision/) [Deserve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deserve/) [Empowering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empowering/) [Faces](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faces/) [Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive/) [Forgive Wounded](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive-wounded-3837116/) [Forgiving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiving/) [Going Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/going-forgive-358020/) [Hurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt/) [Hurt U](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt-u/) [Invites](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/invites/) [Let Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/let-anger/) [Looks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looks/) [My soul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/my-soul/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Poison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/poison/) [Soul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/soul/) [Squares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/squares/) [Violence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/violence/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) [Wounded](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wounded/) ## Related quotes > [You cannot learn a lesson of profound forgiveness unless you understand what it is to be wounded and forgive that which has wounded you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-kingsley/you-cannot-learn-a-lesson-of-profound-forgiveness-unless-you/) [Ben Kingsley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-kingsley/) > [“Never allow any bitterness to take root in your heart.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/never-allow-any-bitterness-to-take-root-in-your-heart/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [The most important thing about being a father is being able to forgive yourself. If you don't forgive yourself, you're not going to forgive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evander-holyfield/the-most-important-thing-about-being-a-father-is-being-able-to/) [Evander Holyfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evander-holyfield/) > [If you are going to forgive a person, Liz decides, it is best to do it sooner rather than later. Later, Liz knows from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-zevin/if-you-are-going-to-forgive-a-person-liz-decides-it-is-best-to-do-it/) [Gabrielle Zevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-zevin/) > [You always end up saying and doing such horrible things to your family, 'cause you know they're never going anywhere, and at some point,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendi-mclendon-covey/you-always-end-up-saying-and-doing-such-horrible-things-to-your/) [Wendi McLendon-Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendi-mclendon-covey/) > [We havent talked since our last fight, but I want to tell you that Im still the same friend you had before. And I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/azgraybebly-josland/we-havent-talked-since-our-last-fight-but-i-want-to-tell-you-that-im/) [Azgraybebly Josland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/azgraybebly-josland/) > [If I have done wrong to another person, the correct course of action is to apologize and make amends to that person and not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-dillahunty/if-i-have-done-wrong-to-another-person-the-correct-course-of-action/) [Matt Dillahunty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-dillahunty/) > [Im going to forgive and forget, forgive myself so being such an idiot and forget that you ever exsisted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eleanor-gibson/im-going-to-forgive-and-forget-forgive-myself-so-being-such-an-idiot/) [Eleanor Gibson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eleanor-gibson/) > [She's been conned, ruined, left for dead, and she's not going to forgive any of it. She will soldier on, if only out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-destefano/she-s-been-conned-ruined-left-for-dead-and-she-s-not-going-to-forgive/) [Lauren DeStefano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-destefano/) > [Just because you say 'i still love you' to me doesnt mean I'm going to forgive you for breaking my heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole/just-because-you-say-i-still-love-you-to-me-doesnt-mean-i-m-going-to/) [Nicole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole/) > [“Talking about your feelings helps you let go of your anger. And it takes a lot of energy to be angry all the time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-echols/talking-about-your-feelings-helps-you-let-go-of-your-anger-and-it/) [Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-echols/) > [“Courage comes when you let your anger go.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-reid/courage-comes-when-you-let-your-anger-go/) [Maggie Reid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maggie-reid/) > [“I let all that anger and worry go because they don't belong to me any more than the future does. And I don't wanna…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-r-funke/i-let-all-that-anger-and-worry-go-because-they-don-t-belong-to-me-any/) [Teresa R. Funke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-r-funke/) > [“Don't overreact. For example, if someone inadvertently embarrasses you in public, don't let anger get the best of you. It really isn't necessary to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-rubino-jr/don-t-overreact-for-example-if-someone-inadvertently-embarrasses-you/) [Anthony Rubino Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-rubino-jr/) > [I love when people are mean to me to my face, that way I am aloud to let out my anger they've caused me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kendall-fithian/i-love-when-people-are-mean-to-me-to-my-face-that-way-i-am-aloud-to/) [Kendall Fithian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kendall-fithian/) ## More by Pam W. Vredevelt > [When we...go back in to the past and rake up all the troubles we've had, we end up reeling and straggering through life. Stability…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pam-w-vredevelt/when-we-go-back-in-to-the-past-and-rake-up-all-the-troubles-we-ve-had/) [Pam W. Vredevelt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pam-w-vredevelt/) [Explore all 2 Pam W. Vredevelt quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pam-w-vredevelt/) ## More Anger quotes > [“If I let myself think of it the pain and anger were still fresh, adrenalin racing down my limbs to pool, hot and itchy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kylie-ladd/if-i-let-myself-think-of-it-the-pain-and-anger-were-still-fresh/) [Kylie Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kylie-ladd/) > [I receive something we might euphemistically call an 'inappropriately hostile' response - that is to say, more than fair criticism or even fair anger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-beard/i-receive-something-we-might-euphemistically-call-an-inappropriately/) [Mary Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-beard/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [Anger is a rough water; if you can canalize it into a water mill, you can benefit from it. Anything bad can be transformed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/anger-is-a-rough-water-if-you-can-canalize-it-into-a-water-mill-you/) [Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [“Some say the Earth is angry Because he wants no company; I say the Earth is angry Because he lives alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/some-say-the-earth-is-angry-because-he-wants-no-company-i-say-the/) [N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [“Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It's much better to verbalize it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/medical-studies-have-shown-that-cursing-reduces-levels-of-stress-and/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [My care will be in the heart n not in words My anger will be in Words n not in the Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/my-care-will-be-in-the-heart-n-not-in-words-my-anger-will-be-in-words/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-be-a-negro-in-this-country-and-to-be-relatively-conscious-is-to-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/god-you-had-enough-time-to-have-been-through-it-three-times-you-ve/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [The present contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already in the cause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-bergson/the-present-contains-nothing-more-than-the-past-and-what-is-found-in/) [Henri Bergson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-bergson/) > [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/) [David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/) > [ “Where there are kashays (anger-pride-deceit-greed), there is worldly life. As long as anger-pride-deceit-greed exist; one is a sansaari \[living a worldly life\] regardless of… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/where-there-are-kashays-anger-pride-deceit-greed-there-is-worldly/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) [Browse all 7,469 Anger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When others hurt us in ways we don't deserve, at some point we will come to the crossroads of decision. We will have to look our pain square in the face and ask, \"Am I going to hang on to my anger and do violence to myself, or am I going to forgive those who have wounded me? Am I going to allow bitterness to poison and putrefy my soul, or am I going to invite God to empower me to let the anger go?\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Pam W. 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