--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: He was thirty-four when he married and…" description: "\"“He was thirty-four when he married and the decision was less an impulse of sexual or psychological need than a conviction that there was something sli..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75a/p-d-james-7898_celibate_he-was-thirty-four-when-he-married-and-t_2430345.jpg" --- # He was thirty-four when he married and the decision was… ![“He was thirty-four when he married and the decision was less an impulse of sexual or psychological need than a conviction that there was something slightly suspect about a heterosexual who remained openly celibate, a suggestion either of eccentricity or, more shaming, of the inability to attract a…” quote by P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75a/p-d-james-7898_celibate_he-was-thirty-four-when-he-married-and-t_2430345.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75a/p-d-james-7898_celibate_he-was-thirty-four-when-he-married-and-t_2430345.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75a/p-d-james-7898_celibate_he-was-thirty-four-when-he-married-and-t_2430345.jpg) > ““He was thirty-four when he married and the decision was less an impulse of sexual or psychological need than a conviction that there was something slightly suspect about a heterosexual who remained openly celibate, a suggestion either of eccentricity or, more shaming, of the inability to attract a suitable mate.”” [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A marriage choice driven by social suspicion rather than desire, reflecting fear of being judged for celibacy. **In simple terms:** Marrying to avoid judgment, not for love. Key Takeaway Question motives before committing. Themes social pressure marriage identity judgment celibacy Mood reflective critical Type narrative observational When to use this quote - dating - family expectations - personal relationships Key Concepts social conformity self‑image stigma Questions to Reflect On - Do you marry to please others? - How does fear shape your life choices? A Different Perspective May overlook genuine compatibility. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Celibate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/celibate/) [Heterosexual Remained](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heterosexual-remained-273618/) [Openly Celibate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/openly-celibate-273615/) [Suspect Heterosexual](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suspect-heterosexual-273617/) [Thirty Married](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thirty-married-273616/) ## Related quotes > [“I'm thirty-four." "You don't look thirty-four." "That's because I'm not married." Mae's smile felt as if it were set in concrete. "Marriage tends to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-crusie/i-m-thirty-four-you-don-t-look-thirty-four-that-s-because-i-m-not/) [Jennifer Crusie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-crusie/) > [“he'd replace the window, but the kid was sleeping in his room from now until she was thirty and married to a huge guy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/he-d-replace-the-window-but-the-kid-was-sleeping-in-his-room-from-now/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [Fasting is as sensual as eating. Being celibate is as sensual as having sex. They're just different choices, different videos that you've selected to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/fasting-is-as-sensual-as-eating-being-celibate-is-as-sensual-as/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [“The idea of celibate vampires is ridiculous. To me, vampires are sex. I don't get a vampire story about abstinence. I don't care about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-ball/the-idea-of-celibate-vampires-is-ridiculous-to-me-vampires-are-sex-i/) [Alan Ball](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-ball/) > [“Who better than a bunch of celibate male octogenarians to tell the world how to have sex? - Robert Langdon”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-brown/who-better-than-a-bunch-of-celibate-male-octogenarians-to-tell-the-2/) [Dan Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-brown/) > [A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/a-celibate-clergy-is-an-especially-good-idea-because-it-tends-to/) [Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/) > [The man who never in his life Has washed the dishes with his wife Or polished up the silver plate - He still is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-morley/the-man-who-never-in-his-life-has-washed-the-dishes-with-his-wife-or/) [Christopher Morley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-morley/) > [I've never been with women, because I'm celibate, as ordered by God, as if I were in a monastery. For me, the church is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justo-gallego/i-ve-never-been-with-women-because-i-m-celibate-as-ordered-by-god-as/) [Justo Gallego](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justo-gallego/) > [“Who better than a bunch of celibate male octogenarians to tell the world how to have sex?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-brown/who-better-than-a-bunch-of-celibate-male-octogenarians-to-tell-the/) [Dan Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-brown/) > [I know that people can live celibate lives. I did it myself for many years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hamza-yusuf/i-know-that-people-can-live-celibate-lives-i-did-it-myself-for-many/) [Hamza Yusuf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hamza-yusuf/) > [“It is better to lock up your heart with a merciless padlock, than to fall in love with someone who doesn't know what they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-bassey-johnson/it-is-better-to-lock-up-your-heart-with-a-merciless-padlock-than-to/) [Michael Bassey Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-bassey-johnson/) > [I have never been a celibate. If people believe so, that is their foolishness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/i-have-never-been-a-celibate-if-people-believe-so-that-is-their/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [“Do I really look so pathetic to all of you? Like I couldn't possibly meet someone on my own? Half the people in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/do-i-really-look-so-pathetic-to-all-of-you-like-i-couldn-t-possibly/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [I'm religiously celibate except in LA, NOLA, FLA, because there is certainly no God in any of those places. So unless you live in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessicka/i-m-religiously-celibate-except-in-la-nola-fla-because-there-is/) [Jessicka](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessicka/) > [“The common mistake of the religious celibate has been to suppose that the highest spiritual life absolutely demands the renunciation of sexuality, as if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-wilson-watts/the-common-mistake-of-the-religious-celibate-has-been-to-suppose-that/) [Alan Wilson Watts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-wilson-watts/) ## More by P.D. James > [“I was like a little boy showing off my toys, desperate to win approval.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/i-was-like-a-little-boy-showing-off-my-toys-desperate-to-win-approval/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“Pleasure need not be less keen because there will be centuries of springs to come, their blossom unseen by human eyes, the walls will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/pleasure-need-not-be-less-keen-because-there-will-be-centuries-of/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“What do you mean by sound government?' Good public order, no corruption in high places, freedom from fear and war and crime, a reasonably…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/what-do-you-mean-by-sound-government-good-public-order-no-corruption/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“I have enough trouble living with my own neurosis without coping with other people’s.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/i-have-enough-trouble-living-with-my-own-neurosis-without-coping-with/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“(A murderer about their victim:) "He was an expert in vicarious death. I should like to have been there to see how he enjoyed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/a-murderer-about-their-victim-he-was-an-expert-in-vicarious-death-i/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“had found it difficult to sleep since my husband had been killed, and now I lay rigid under the canopy of the four-poster re-living…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/had-found-it-difficult-to-sleep-since-my-husband-had-been-killed-and/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“It had always been a part of his job which he found difficult, the total lack of privacy for the victim. Murder stripped away…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/it-had-always-been-a-part-of-his-job-which-he-found-difficult-the/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“On the whole I’m glad; you can’t mourn for unborn grandchildren when there never was a hope of them. This planet is doomed anyway.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/on-the-whole-i-m-glad-you-can-t-mourn-for-unborn-grandchildren-when/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“Dalgliesh was too experienced to assume that fear implied guilt; it was often the most innocent who were the most terrified.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/dalgliesh-was-too-experienced-to-assume-that-fear-implied-guilt-it/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“The young seldom lie convincingly. They haven’t had time to practise like the rest of us.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/the-young-seldom-lie-convincingly-they-haven-t-had-time-to-practise/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“It is doubtful whether Mrs Bennet missed the company of her second daughter, but her husband certainly did. Elizabeth had always been his favourite…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/it-is-doubtful-whether-mrs-bennet-missed-the-company-of-her-second/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“She had quickly learned that to show unhappiness was to risk the loss of love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/she-had-quickly-learned-that-to-show-unhappiness-was-to-risk-the-loss/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“You won't get love from a child if you don't give love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/you-won-t-get-love-from-a-child-if-you-don-t-give-love/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“Beauty is intellectually confusing; it sabotages common sense.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/beauty-is-intellectually-confusing-it-sabotages-common-sense/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) > [“It is never so difficult to congratulate a friend on her good fortune than when that fortune appears undeserved.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-d-james-2/it-is-never-so-difficult-to-congratulate-a-friend-on-her-good-fortune/) [P.D. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) [Explore all 79 P.D. James quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-d-james-2/) ## More Celibate quotes > [“The common mistake of the religious celibate has been to suppose that the highest spiritual life absolutely demands the renunciation of sexuality, as if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-wilson-watts/the-common-mistake-of-the-religious-celibate-has-been-to-suppose-that/) [Alan Wilson Watts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-wilson-watts/) > [I'm religiously celibate except in LA, NOLA, FLA, because there is certainly no God in any of those places. So unless you live in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessicka/i-m-religiously-celibate-except-in-la-nola-fla-because-there-is/) [Jessicka](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessicka/) > [“Do I really look so pathetic to all of you? Like I couldn't possibly meet someone on my own? Half the people in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/do-i-really-look-so-pathetic-to-all-of-you-like-i-couldn-t-possibly/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [I have never been a celibate. If people believe so, that is their foolishness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/i-have-never-been-a-celibate-if-people-believe-so-that-is-their/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [“It is better to lock up your heart with a merciless padlock, than to fall in love with someone who doesn't know what they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-bassey-johnson/it-is-better-to-lock-up-your-heart-with-a-merciless-padlock-than-to/) [Michael Bassey Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-bassey-johnson/) > [I know that people can live celibate lives. I did it myself for many years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hamza-yusuf/i-know-that-people-can-live-celibate-lives-i-did-it-myself-for-many/) [Hamza Yusuf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hamza-yusuf/) > [“Who better than a bunch of celibate male octogenarians to tell the world how to have sex?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-brown/who-better-than-a-bunch-of-celibate-male-octogenarians-to-tell-the/) [Dan Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-brown/) > [I've never been with women, because I'm celibate, as ordered by God, as if I were in a monastery. For me, the church is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justo-gallego/i-ve-never-been-with-women-because-i-m-celibate-as-ordered-by-god-as/) [Justo Gallego](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justo-gallego/) > [The man who never in his life Has washed the dishes with his wife Or polished up the silver plate - He still is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-morley/the-man-who-never-in-his-life-has-washed-the-dishes-with-his-wife-or/) [Christopher Morley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-morley/) > [A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/a-celibate-clergy-is-an-especially-good-idea-because-it-tends-to/) [Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/) > [“Who better than a bunch of celibate male octogenarians to tell the world how to have sex? - Robert Langdon”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-brown/who-better-than-a-bunch-of-celibate-male-octogenarians-to-tell-the-2/) [Dan Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-brown/) > [“The idea of celibate vampires is ridiculous. To me, vampires are sex. I don't get a vampire story about abstinence. I don't care about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-ball/the-idea-of-celibate-vampires-is-ridiculous-to-me-vampires-are-sex-i/) [Alan Ball](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-ball/) > [Fasting is as sensual as eating. Being celibate is as sensual as having sex. They're just different choices, different videos that you've selected to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/fasting-is-as-sensual-as-eating-being-celibate-is-as-sensual-as/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Jesus Christ never preached there should be celibate priests. The only reason the church has this is because it's a mechanism of power and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-gibney/jesus-christ-never-preached-there-should-be-celibate-priests-the-only/) [Alex Gibney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-gibney/) > [She say that she celibate, I penetrate her mentally So if its meant to be, then its meant to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wale/she-say-that-she-celibate-i-penetrate-her-mentally-so-if-its-meant-to/) [Wale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wale/) [Browse all 67 Celibate quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/celibate/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“He was thirty-four when he married and the decision was less an impulse of sexual or psychological need than a conviction that there was something slightly suspect about a heterosexual who remained openly celibate, a suggestion either of eccentricity or, more shaming, of the inability to attract a suitable mate.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "P.D. 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