--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Now and then, however, he is horribly…" description: "\"“Now and then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away my w..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c6c/oscar-wilde-16_appreciation_now-and-then-however-he-is-horribly-thou_941706.jpg" --- # Now and then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and… ![“Now and then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer’s…” quote by Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c6c/oscar-wilde-16_appreciation_now-and-then-however-he-is-horribly-thou_941706.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c6c/oscar-wilde-16_appreciation_now-and-then-however-he-is-horribly-thou_941706.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c6c/oscar-wilde-16_appreciation_now-and-then-however-he-is-horribly-thou_941706.jpg) > ““Now and then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer’s day.”” [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Wilde describes a lover who treats the speaker’s soul as a decorative object, highlighting exploitation and vanity. **In simple terms:** Lover treats soul as a decorative object, showing exploitation. Key Takeaway Guard your inner self from being used. Themes love exploitation vanity Mood poignant critical Type literary reflective When to use this quote - romantic relationships - artistic expression - personal boundaries Key Concepts objectification emotional manipulation self‑worth Questions to Reflect On - How do we recognize when we are being objectified? - What protects emotional integrity? A Different Perspective The metaphor may exaggerate emotional dynamics. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Appreciation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/appreciation/) [Vanity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vanity/) ## Related quotes > [“I know he likes me. Of course I flatter him dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him that I know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/i-know-he-likes-me-of-course-i-flatter-him-dreadfully-i-find-a/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [“Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/then-i-feel-harry-that-i-have-given-away-my-whole-soul-to-some-one/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away my whole soul to someone who treats it as if it were a flower to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/then-i-feel-harry-that-i-have-given-away-my-whole-soul-to-someone-who/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Everyone is down on pain, because they forget something important about it: Pain is for the living. Only the dead don't feel it. (Harry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-butcher/everyone-is-down-on-pain-because-they-forget-something-important-2/) [Jim Butcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-butcher/) > [“Yes Harry I believe that is true. I cannot help telling you things. You have a curious influence over me. If I ever did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/yes-harry-i-believe-that-is-true-i-cannot-help-telling-you-things-you/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [“Marriage is hardly a thing that one can do now and then, Harry. Except in America, rejoined Lord Henry, languidly.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/marriage-is-hardly-a-thing-that-one-can-do-now-and-then-harry-except/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [“You will always be loved, and you will always be in love with love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/you-will-always-be-loved-and-you-will-always-be-in-love-with-love/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Love does not traffic in a marketplace, nor use a huckster's scales. Its joy, like the joy of the intellect, is to feel itself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/love-does-not-traffic-in-a-marketplace-nor-use-a-huckster-s-scales/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [“Besides, nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/besides-nothing-makes-one-so-vain-as-being-told-that-one-is-a-sinner/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [“I just... I can't share you. The thought of you with him, it kills me, now more than it ever did before. I need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-c-stephens/i-just-i-can-t-share-you-the-thought-of-you-with-him-it-kills-me-now/) [S.C. Stephens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-c-stephens/) > [“He was thoughtless, not because he was insensitive, but because I had just eaten his brain and his skull was empty.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/he-was-thoughtless-not-because-he-was-insensitive-but-because-i-had/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Dont be sorry for loving someone”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-c-stephens/dont-be-sorry-for-loving-someone/) [S.C. Stephens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-c-stephens/) > [It amazes me how sometimes people can be so thoughtless when they come to give you their opinion, especially around Caesarean sections and breastfeeding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-bowman/it-amazes-me-how-sometimes-people-can-be-so-thoughtless-when-they/) [Edith Bowman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-bowman/) > [“And am I answerable that thoughtless and unprincipled men exist whose shades of contenance may resemble mine?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-fenimore-cooper/and-am-i-answerable-that-thoughtless-and-unprincipled-men-exist-whose/) [James Fenimore Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-fenimore-cooper/) > [“Thus the thoughtless drift backward toward slavery.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-g-woodson/thus-the-thoughtless-drift-backward-toward-slavery/) [Carter G. Woodson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-g-woodson/) ## More by Oscar Wilde > [How else but through a broken heart may Lord Christ enter in?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/how-else-but-through-a-broken-heart-may-lord-christ-enter-in/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/the-books-that-the-world-calls-immoral-are-the-books-that-show-the/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/bachelors-should-be-heavily-taxed-it-is-not-fair-that-some-men-should/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Who, being loved, is poor?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/who-being-loved-is-poor/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [“Basil my dear boy puts everything that is charming in him into his work. The consequence is that he has nothing left for life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/basil-my-dear-boy-puts-everything-that-is-charming-in-him-into-his/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Anybody can be good in the country](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/anybody-can-be-good-in-the-country/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/i-don-t-at-all-like-knowing-what-people-say-of-me-behind-my-back-it/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [“Alles Populäre ist falsch.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/alles-popul-re-ist-falsch/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [“If these elements of beauty are real, the whole thing simply appeals to our sense of dramatic effect. Suddenly we find that we are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/if-these-elements-of-beauty-are-real-the-whole-thing-simply-appeals/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [To love one's self is the beginning of a life-long romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/to-love-one-s-self-is-the-beginning-of-a-life-long-romance/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [“Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/those-who-find-beautiful-meanings-in-beautiful-things-are-the/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Men always want to be a womans first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a mans last…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/men-always-want-to-be-a-womans-first-love-women-have-a-more-subtle/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink the champagne.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/why-is-it-that-at-a-bachelor-s-establishment-the-servants-invariably/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Moderation is a fatal thing. Enough is as bad as a meal. More than enough is as good as a feast.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/moderation-is-a-fatal-thing-enough-is-as-bad-as-a-meal-more-than/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Beauty is the only thing that time cannot harm. Philosophies fall away like sand, creeds follow one another, but what is beautiful is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/beauty-is-the-only-thing-that-time-cannot-harm-philosophies-fall-away/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) [Explore all 3,343 Oscar Wilde quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) ## More Appreciation quotes > [You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-ll-seldom-experience-regret-for-anything-that-you-ve-done-it-is/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [Time can but make her beauty over again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-butler-yeats/time-can-but-make-her-beauty-over-again/) [William Butler Yeats](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-butler-yeats/) > [The writings of latter-day prophets clearly teach that the sorrows and sufferings endured by Adam and Eve upon their leaving the Garden of Eden…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-k-judd/the-writings-of-latter-day-prophets-clearly-teach-that-the-sorrows/) Daniel K Judd > [Wine is one of the most civilized things in the world and one of the most natural things of the world that has been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-hemingway/wine-is-one-of-the-most-civilized-things-in-the-world-and-one-of-the/) [Ernest Hemingway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-hemingway/) > [A very small percentage of the people in this world will actually experience and live today. So many people will be stuck on another…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-maraboli/a-very-small-percentage-of-the-people-in-this-world-will-actually/) [Steve Maraboli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-maraboli/) > [Stop chasing the things you want and embrace all that you already have.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/stop-chasing-the-things-you-want-and-embrace-all-that-you-already-have/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Appreciation is the purest vibration that exists on the planet today.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-hicks/appreciation-is-the-purest-vibration-that-exists-on-the-planet-today/) [Esther Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-hicks/) > [“My thank-yous always come out rather labored. I often don't give them at all. People do what they're supposed to do and then wait…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gillian-flynn/my-thank-yous-always-come-out-rather-labored-i-often-don-t-give-them/) [Gillian Flynn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gillian-flynn/) > [“Like gratitude, authentic appreciation in the workplace is a realisation that can be nurtured and accessed with daily mindful practice. By and large, people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-dines/like-gratitude-authentic-appreciation-in-the-workplace-is-a/) [Christopher Dines](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-dines/) > [Think of your mind, your emotions, and your spirit as the ultimate garden. The way to ensure a bountiful, nourishing harvest is to plant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-robbins/think-of-your-mind-your-emotions-and-your-spirit-as-the-ultimate/) [Tony Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-robbins/) > [“Recognize and appreciate little things, and enjoy what Life has to offer”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cesar-nikko-caharian-iii/recognize-and-appreciate-little-things-and-enjoy-what-life-has-to/) Cesar Nikko Caharian III > [Men, when it comes to women, value diamonds and put no stock into copper. Diamonds are rare. You can find copper anywhere.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enhance-dreams/men-when-it-comes-to-women-value-diamonds-and-put-no-stock-into/) Enhance Dreams > [“Everything we perceive to be solid and static is made up of almost entirely empty space.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-p-kauffman/everything-we-perceive-to-be-solid-and-static-is-made-up-of-almost/) [Joseph P. Kauffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-p-kauffman/) > [Be very slow to believe that you are wiser than all others; it is a fatal but common error. Where one has been saved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-caleb-colton/be-very-slow-to-believe-that-you-are-wiser-than-all-others-it-is-a/) [Charles Caleb Colton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-caleb-colton/) [Browse all 2,528 Appreciation quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/appreciation/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Now and then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. 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