--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The effort to try to feel happy is often…" description: "\"The effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable,\" — Oliver Burkeman" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/921/oliver-burkeman-14344_effort_the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often_1050415.png" --- # The effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the… ![“The effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable,” quote by Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/921/oliver-burkeman-14344_effort_the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often_1050415.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/921/oliver-burkeman-14344_effort_the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often_1050415.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/921/oliver-burkeman-14344_effort_the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often_1050415.png) > “The effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable,” [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Chasing happiness directly often creates anxiety and disappointment, so it’s better to focus on meaningful activities instead. **In simple terms:** Trying hard to be happy can backfire. Key Takeaway Focus on purpose, not happiness. Themes psychology well‑being mindset Mood reflective thoughtful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - work - relationships - personal growth - stress management Key Concepts mindfulness acceptance intrinsic motivation Questions to Reflect On - What activities bring you fulfillment beyond feeling happy? - How can you measure success without happiness? A Different Perspective Happiness can be fleeting and dependent on external factors. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Effort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/effort/) [Effort Try](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/effort-try-716235/) [Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Happiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happiness/) [Makes Miserable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/makes-miserable-487014/) [Miserable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/miserable/) [Try Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/try-feel/) [Trying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trying/) ## Related quotes > [I hope you find someone who makes you miserable :)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/itsme867/i-hope-you-find-someone-who-makes-you-miserable/) [Itsme867](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/itsme867/) > [What's the point in ever trying to be happy when the very pursuit of happiness is what makes you miserable.\*](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/what-s-the-point-in-ever-trying-to-be-happy-when-the-very-pursuit-of/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Misery is not given by anyone or anything in life. It is your own mind which makes you miserable or happy and uplifted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sri-sri-ravi-shankar/misery-is-not-given-by-anyone-or-anything-in-life-it-is-your-own-mind/) [Sri Sri Ravi Shankar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sri-sri-ravi-shankar/) > [“MAKING AN EFFORT Our so-called limitations, I believe, apply to faculties we don't apply. We don't discover what we can't achieve until we make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/piet-hein/making-an-effort-our-so-called-limitations-i-believe-apply-to/) [Piet Hein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/piet-hein/) > [I know I put forth an effort to try to build a championship team and to be a champion. And it hasn't worked out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rex-ryan/i-know-i-put-forth-an-effort-to-try-to-build-a-championship-team-and/) [Rex Ryan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rex-ryan/) > [Everything that I tried to act in my life, I put in the time and effort to try and get better at it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-horry/everything-that-i-tried-to-act-in-my-life-i-put-in-the-time-and/) [Robert Horry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-horry/) > [The principle of all successful effort is to try to do not what is absolutely the best, but what is easily within our power,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-ruskin/the-principle-of-all-successful-effort-is-to-try-to-do-not-what-is/) [John Ruskin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-ruskin/) > [I really don't make a concerted effort to try to find a type of role.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-kinnear/i-really-don-t-make-a-concerted-effort-to-try-to-find-a-type-of-role/) [Greg Kinnear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-kinnear/) > [If someone makes you miserable more than they make you happy,it doesnt matter how much you love them,you need to let them go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikkie/if-someone-makes-you-miserable-more-than-they-make-you-happy-it/) [Nikkie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikkie/) > [It's sad when the person that makes you happy is also the person that makes you miserable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/it-s-sad-when-the-person-that-makes-you-happy-is-also-the-person-that/) [SONYA PARKER](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/) > [That which makes you miserable is the only sin. That which takes you away from yourself is the only thing to be avoided.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/that-which-makes-you-miserable-is-the-only-sin-that-which-takes-you/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [If someone makes you miserable more than they make you happy, it doesn't matter how much you love him, you need to let them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-someone-makes-you-miserable-more-than-they-make-you-happy-it-doesn/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Eavesdropping’s sort of thrilling ’cause you learn what people really think, but eavesdropping makes you miserable for exactly the same reason.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-mitchell/eavesdropping-s-sort-of-thrilling-cause-you-learn-what-people-really/) [David Mitchell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-mitchell/) > [If someone makes you miserable more than happy, it doesn't matter how much you love them, you need to meed to let them go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-someone-makes-you-miserable-more-than-happy-it-doesn-t-matter-how/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [There's nothing that makes you more miserable (or less interesting) than self-absorption .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/there-s-nothing-that-makes-you-more-miserable-or-less-interesting/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) ## More by Oliver Burkeman > [Ceaseless optimism about the future only makes for a greater shock when things go wrong; by fighting to maintain only positive beliefs about the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/ceaseless-optimism-about-the-future-only-makes-for-a-greater-shock/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [“And here lies the essential between Stoicism and the modern-day 'cult of optimism.' For the Stoics, the ideal state of mind was tranquility, not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/and-here-lies-the-essential-between-stoicism-and-the-modern-day-cult/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [“By the second day, the song lyrics had faded, but in their place came darker irritations. Gradually, I started to become aware of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/by-the-second-day-the-song-lyrics-had-faded-but-in-their-place-came/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [Through positive thinking and related approaches, we seek the safety and solid ground of certainty, of knowing how the future will turn out, of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/through-positive-thinking-and-related-approaches-we-seek-the-safety/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [“All these counterproductive ways of thinking about failure manifest themselves most acutely in the phenomenon of perfectionism. This is one of those traits that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/all-these-counterproductive-ways-of-thinking-about-failure-manifest/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [“Ceaseless optimism about the future only makes for a greater shock when things go wrong; by fighting to maintain only positive beliefs about the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/ceaseless-optimism-about-the-future-only-makes-for-a-greater-shock-2/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [“The greatest benefit of negative capability—the true power of negative thinking—is that it lets the mystery back in.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/the-greatest-benefit-of-negative-capability-the-true-power-of/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [What made Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein such creative geniuses? It wasn't reading books or watching YouTube talks about How To…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/what-made-leonardo-da-vinci-thomas-edison-and-albert-einstein-such/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [“Perhaps you don’t need telling that self-help books, the modern-day apotheosis of the quest for happiness, are among the things that fail to make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/perhaps-you-don-t-need-telling-that-self-help-books-the-modern-day/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [Who says you need to wait until you 'feel like' doing something in order to start doing it? The problem, from this perspective, isn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/who-says-you-need-to-wait-until-you-feel-like-doing-something-in/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [“Incremental theory’ people are different. Because they think of abilities as emerging through tackling challenges, the experience of failure has a completely different meaning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/incremental-theory-people-are-different-because-they-think-of/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [It is illuminating to note, here, how the daily rituals and working routines of prolific authors and artists - people who really do get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/it-is-illuminating-to-note-here-how-the-daily-rituals-and-working/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [“Pilots were not excused all these rigorous new checks, and when Woodie Menear’s turn came, the security screener expressed concern about the presence of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/pilots-were-not-excused-all-these-rigorous-new-checks-and-when-woodie/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [“...no matter how much success you may experience in life, your eventual story - no offence intended - will be one of failure. Your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/no-matter-how-much-success-you-may-experience-in-life-your-eventual/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) > [The routines of almost all famous writers, from Charles Darwin to John Grisham, similarly emphasise specific starting times, or number of hours worked, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/the-routines-of-almost-all-famous-writers-from-charles-darwin-to-john/) [Oliver Burkeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) [Explore all 47 Oliver Burkeman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/) ## More Effort quotes > [I value the experiences that come with life too much to sit by and not put my full effort into them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-miller/i-value-the-experiences-that-come-with-life-too-much-to-sit-by-and/) [Jim Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-miller/) > [An enlightened awareness is within each one of us, right at this moment. This enlightened awareness is truly unborn and marvellously illuminating; and everything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bankei-yotaku/an-enlightened-awareness-is-within-each-one-of-us-right-at-this/) [Bankei Yotaku](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bankei-yotaku/) > [Now I try to make efforts, you know, I'm just, the best effort I can do is just stay sober myself. I can at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-dick/now-i-try-to-make-efforts-you-know-i-m-just-the-best-effort-i-can-do/) [Andy Dick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-dick/) > [Reading counts as partying, even if you're not enjoying it! Even if someone's forcing you to read, you can find a way to make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-w-k/reading-counts-as-partying-even-if-you-re-not-enjoying-it-even-if/) [Andrew W.K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-w-k/) > [ Bernie \[Ecclestone\] is the commercial rights holder so the more outgoing the champion is, the better. Of course. I also do think about our… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-ecclestone/bernie-ecclestone-is-the-commercial-rights-holder-so-the-more/) [Bernie Ecclestone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-ecclestone/) > [All efforts to render politics aesthetic culminate in one thing: war.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-benjamin/all-efforts-to-render-politics-aesthetic-culminate-in-one-thing-war/) [Walter Benjamin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-benjamin/) > [Im tired, tired of putting more effort than you do. Im tired of always having to start the conversation and if I dont, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/im-tired-tired-of-putting-more-effort-than-you-do-im-tired-of-always/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It is for the superfluous we sweat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seneca-the-younger/it-is-for-the-superfluous-we-sweat/) [Seneca the Younger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seneca-the-younger/) > [Only alone can you go into eternity. Only alone can you feel the transcendental light. It is not a shared experience because if it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/only-alone-can-you-go-into-eternity-only-alone-can-you-feel-the/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [I love a pocket. I'm about helping women look as good as possible on the least amount of effort. I want versatility and comfort.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stella-mccartney/i-love-a-pocket-i-m-about-helping-women-look-as-good-as-possible-on/) [Stella McCartney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stella-mccartney/) > [I have often spoken of integrity as the most important of these values, realizing that integrity – and personal integrity, at that – is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/verghese-kurien/i-have-often-spoken-of-integrity-as-the-most-important-of-these/) [Verghese Kurien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/verghese-kurien/) > [Grace is the power of the Holy Spirit coming to us free of charge to enable you to do with ease what you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-meyer/grace-is-the-power-of-the-holy-spirit-coming-to-us-free-of-charge-to/) [Joyce Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-meyer/) > [ No wonder that Churchill described this effort \[the British codebreakers working at Bletchley Park\] as "Britian"s secret weapon," a weapon far more effective than… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-hilton/no-wonder-that-churchill-described-this-effort-the-british/) [Peter Hilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-hilton/) > [“Dreams will come true as long as you give some effort towards your goal”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dayana/dreams-will-come-true-as-long-as-you-give-some-effort-towards-your/) [Dayana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dayana/) > [I should have liked to get married, but over many decades I have lived essentially alone. I go to sleep when I'm tired, get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/felix-dennis/i-should-have-liked-to-get-married-but-over-many-decades-i-have-lived/) [Felix Dennis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/felix-dennis/) [Browse all 8,602 Effort quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/effort/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable,", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Oliver Burkeman" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often-precisely-the-thing-that/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Effort" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often-precisely-the-thing-that/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/921/oliver-burkeman-14344_effort_the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often_1050415.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/921/oliver-burkeman-14344_effort_the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often_1050415.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/921/oliver-burkeman-14344_effort_the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often_1050415.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable,” — Oliver Burkeman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Oliver Burkeman", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-burkeman/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "The effort to try to feel...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often-precisely-the-thing-that/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-burkeman/the-effort-to-try-to-feel-happy-is-often-precisely-the-thing-that/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```