--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: without any assistance or guidance from…" description: "\"“without any assistance or guidance from you i have loved you assiduously for 8 months 2 wks & a day i have been stood up four times i've left 7 packag..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/ntozake-shange-11891_poetry_without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from_3030168.jpg" --- # without any assistance or guidance from you i have loved… ![“without any assistance or guidance from you i have loved you assiduously for 8 months 2 wks & a day i have been stood up four times i've left 7 packages on yr doorstep forty poems 2 plants & 3 handmade notecards i left town so i cd send to you have been no help to me on my job you call at 3:00 in…” quote by Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/ntozake-shange-11891_poetry_without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from_3030168.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/ntozake-shange-11891_poetry_without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from_3030168.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/ntozake-shange-11891_poetry_without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from_3030168.jpg) > ““without any assistance or guidance from you i have loved you assiduously for 8 months 2 wks & a day i have been stood up four times i've left 7 packages on yr doorstep forty poems 2 plants & 3 handmade notecards i left town so i cd send to you have been no help to me on my job you call at 3:00 in the mornin on weekdays so i cd drive 27 1/2 miles cross the bay before i go to work charmin charmin but you are of no assistance i want you to know this waz an experiment to see how selifsh i cd be if i wd really carry on to snare a possible lover if i waz capable of debasin my self for the love of another if i cd stand not being wanted when i wanted to be wanted & i cannot so with no further assistance & no guidance from you i am endin this affair this note is attached to a plant i've been waterin since the day i met you you may water it yr damn self”” [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The writer expresses frustration over unreciprocated effort and lack of support, questioning self‑interest and the value of continuing a one‑sided relationship. **In simple terms:** Feeling abandoned after giving much without return. Key Takeaway Recognize when effort is unreciprocated and consider moving on. Themes unrequited love self‑worth effort boundaries Mood sad reflective Type personal emotional When to use this quote - relationship breakup - personal reflection - setting limits Key Concepts emotional labor dependence self‑sacrifice Questions to Reflect On - Do you truly need external validation? - How can you balance giving with self‑care? A Different Perspective The note may romanticize suffering, overlooking healthier alternatives. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Poetry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/poetry/) ## Related quotes > [Frank, open the door! I know you're in there! You got a woman in there? 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But Friendship is not Possible After Love. Because Medicines Work Before Death Not After Death!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aamir-sheikh/love-is-possible-after-friendship-but-friendship-is-not-possible/) [Aamir Sheikh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aamir-sheikh/) > [For the Warrior of Light there is no such thing as an impossible love. He is not intimidated by silence, indifference or rejection. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/for-the-warrior-of-light-there-is-no-such-thing-as-an-impossible-love/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [“It was possible to love life, without loving your life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-coe/it-was-possible-to-love-life-without-loving-your-life/) Christopher Coe > [“Is it - I'm not certain - possible to love someone if your first interest is the use you can make of him? Doesn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/truman-capote/is-it-i-m-not-certain-possible-to-love-someone-if-your-first-interest/) [Truman Capote](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/truman-capote/) > [Why can't all different types of women be considered beautiful? Why can't we can't we all be considered possible love interests?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/why-can-t-all-different-types-of-women-be-considered-beautiful-why/) [Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/) > [“I've decided that it's possible to LOVE someone for entirely SELFLESS reasons, for all of their flaw and weaknesses, and still NOT succeed in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cammie-mcgovern/i-ve-decided-that-it-s-possible-to-love-someone-for-entirely-selfless/) [Cammie McGovern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cammie-mcgovern/) > [I’d never known it was possible to love as he did— with complete devotion yet devoid of promises.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-aguirre/i-d-never-known-it-was-possible-to-love-as-he-did-with-complete/) [Ann Aguirre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-aguirre/) > [“He had not known it was possible to love a little human being as he loved Annie.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maeve-binchy/he-had-not-known-it-was-possible-to-love-a-little-human-being-as-he/) [Maeve Binchy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maeve-binchy/) > [I wonder if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-warhol/i-wonder-if-it-s-possible-to-have-a-love-affair-that-lasts-forever/) [Andy Warhol](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-warhol/) > [It is not enough to dream of the Impossible Love - it is necessary to conquer it too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/it-is-not-enough-to-dream-of-the-impossible-love-it-is-necessary-to/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) ## More by Ntozake Shange > [My characters don't talk necessarily in a normal American way of talking. They talk a little different.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/my-characters-don-t-talk-necessarily-in-a-normal-american-way-of/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [It still amazes and fascinates me that women of color have kept my work alive for these many generations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/it-still-amazes-and-fascinates-me-that-women-of-color-have-kept-my/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [I write for young girls of color, for girls who don't even exist yet, so that there is something there for them when they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/i-write-for-young-girls-of-color-for-girls-who-don-t-even-exist-yet/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [My family moved around a lot, so I don't have any friends that I had all my life, but I did have annual trips…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/my-family-moved-around-a-lot-so-i-don-t-have-any-friends-that-i-had/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [Creation is everything you do. Make something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/creation-is-everything-you-do-make-something/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [Where there is a woman there is magic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/where-there-is-a-woman-there-is-magic/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [i usedta live in the world really be in the world free & sweet talkin good mornin & thank-you & nice day uh huh…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/i-usedta-live-in-the-world-really-be-in-the-world-free-sweet-talkin/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [The slaves who were ourselves had known terror intimately, confused sunrise with pain, & accepted indifference as kindness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/the-slaves-who-were-ourselves-had-known-terror-intimately-confused/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [White people use their literature to maintain culture. That's why you find references to Milton and Spencer and Shakespeare and Dostoyevsky in contemporary novels.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/white-people-use-their-literature-to-maintain-culture-that-s-why-you/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [Multiculturalism isn't about culture, it's about power.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/multiculturalism-isn-t-about-culture-it-s-about-power/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [Art gives us the opportunity to have clarity as well as hope that we might be able to survive a situation, or hope that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/art-gives-us-the-opportunity-to-have-clarity-as-well-as-hope-that-we/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [I think art is a healing force, and if we give in to the joy that can be found in art, then we are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/i-think-art-is-a-healing-force-and-if-we-give-in-to-the-joy-that-can/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [Being alive and being a woman is all I got, but being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven't conquered yet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/being-alive-and-being-a-woman-is-all-i-got-but-being-colored-is-a/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [When I die, I will no be guilty of having left a generation of girls behind thinking that anyone can tend to their emotional…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/when-i-die-i-will-no-be-guilty-of-having-left-a-generation-of-girls/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) > [I had - there were three strokes, and I lost my ability to read and write and speak, and it really put me by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/i-had-there-were-three-strokes-and-i-lost-my-ability-to-read-and/) [Ntozake Shange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) [Explore all 57 Ntozake Shange quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/) ## More Poetry quotes > [I fell in love with social work, and that was my undoing as a poet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-rakosi/i-fell-in-love-with-social-work-and-that-was-my-undoing-as-a-poet/) [Carl Rakosi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-rakosi/) > [The name Phenomenal Woman was inspired by Maya Angelo, who wrote 'Phenomenal Woman', a favorite poem of mine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meena-harris/the-name-phenomenal-woman-was-inspired-by-maya-angelo-who-wrote/) [Meena Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meena-harris/) > [A poet is wounded into speech, and he examines these wounds, meticulously, to discover how to heal them. The bad poet harangues at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-r-delany/a-poet-is-wounded-into-speech-and-he-examines-these-wounds/) [Samuel R. Delany](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-r-delany/) > [“Time gives poetry to a battlefield...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/time-gives-poetry-to-a-battlefield/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [The poetry from the eighteenth century was prose; the prose from the seventeenth century was poetry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-hare/the-poetry-from-the-eighteenth-century-was-prose-the-prose-from-the/) [David Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-hare/) > [“It took me years to learn to sit at my desk for more than two minutes at a time, to put up with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erica-jong/it-took-me-years-to-learn-to-sit-at-my-desk-for-more-than-two-minutes/) [Erica Jong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erica-jong/) > [The word 'mundane' has come to mean 'boring' and 'dull', and it really shouldn't - it should mean the opposite. Because it comes from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-dawkins/the-word-mundane-has-come-to-mean-boring-and-dull-and-it-really/) [Richard Dawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-dawkins/) > [“In the streets, the children scream, the lovers cried, and the poets dreamed,” he crooned, putting down the metal grill tongs to take my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandria-clarke/in-the-streets-the-children-scream-the-lovers-cried-and-the-poets/) [Alexandria Clarke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandria-clarke/) > [Some minds corrode and grow inactive under the loss of personal liberty; others grow morbid and irritable; but it is the nature of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/washington-irving/some-minds-corrode-and-grow-inactive-under-the-loss-of-personal/) [Washington Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/washington-irving/) > [You don’t read or overhear the voice in the poem, you are the voice in the poem.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helen-vendler/you-don-t-read-or-overhear-the-voice-in-the-poem-you-are-the-voice-in/) [Helen Vendler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helen-vendler/) > [All lyrical work must, as a whole, be perfectly intelligible, but in some particulars a little unintelligible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/all-lyrical-work-must-as-a-whole-be-perfectly-intelligible-but-in/) [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/) > [The world's history is a divine poem, of which the history of every nation is a canto, and every man a word. Its strains…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-a-garfield/the-world-s-history-is-a-divine-poem-of-which-the-history-of-every/) [James A. Garfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-a-garfield/) > [I was interested in all kinds of things, whether it be Avatar, Mad Men, Troy, 300, Battlestar Gallactica, or the poems of Horace and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-mendelsohn/i-was-interested-in-all-kinds-of-things-whether-it-be-avatar-mad-men/) [Daniel Mendelsohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-mendelsohn/) > [“I promise to respect and protect your aloneness, knowing that everything created must have its period of darkness: child and bulb, poem and personality.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-morrow-lindbergh/i-promise-to-respect-and-protect-your-aloneness-knowing-that/) [anne morrow lindbergh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-morrow-lindbergh/) > [“Things are more like they are now...than they have EVER been before!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uncle-arnie-mamath/things-are-more-like-they-are-now-than-they-have-ever-been-before/) Uncle Arnie Mamath [Browse all 21,625 Poetry quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/poetry/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“without any assistance or guidance from you i have loved you assiduously for 8 months 2 wks & a day i have been stood up four times i've left 7 packages on yr doorstep forty poems 2 plants & 3 handmade notecards i left town so i cd send to you have been no help to me on my job you call at 3:00 in the mornin on weekdays so i cd drive 27 1/2 miles cross the bay before i go to work charmin charmin but you are of no assistance i want you to know this waz an experiment to see how selifsh i cd be if i wd really carry on to snare a possible lover if i waz capable of debasin my self for the love of another if i cd stand not being wanted when i wanted to be wanted & i cannot so with no further assistance & no guidance from you i am endin this affair this note is attached to a plant i've been waterin since the day i met you you may water it yr damn self”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ntozake Shange" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from-you-i-have-loved-you/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Poetry" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from-you-i-have-loved-you/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/ntozake-shange-11891_poetry_without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from_3030168.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/ntozake-shange-11891_poetry_without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from_3030168.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4c/ntozake-shange-11891_poetry_without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from_3030168.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“without any assistance or guidance from you i have loved you assiduously for 8 months 2 wks & a day i have…” — Ntozake Shange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Ntozake Shange", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ntozake-shange/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“without any assistance or guidance from...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from-you-i-have-loved-you/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ntozake-shange/without-any-assistance-or-guidance-from-you-i-have-loved-you/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```