--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We are all watching and not knowing what…" description: "\"“We are all watching and not knowing what to do because when grown-ups cry, it's not like you can ask them what's wrong, or tell them to shut up; there..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5e/noviolet-bulawayo-12666_tears_we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what_1477114.jpg" --- # We are all watching and not knowing what to do because… ![“We are all watching and not knowing what to do because when grown-ups cry, it's not like you can ask them what's wrong, or tell them to shut up; there are just no words for a grown-up's tears.” quote by NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5e/noviolet-bulawayo-12666_tears_we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what_1477114.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5e/noviolet-bulawayo-12666_tears_we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what_1477114.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5e/noviolet-bulawayo-12666_tears_we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what_1477114.jpg) > ““We are all watching and not knowing what to do because when grown-ups cry, it's not like you can ask them what's wrong, or tell them to shut up; there are just no words for a grown-up's tears.”” [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Children feel helpless when adults hide pain, lacking language to address it, highlighting emotional gaps between generations. **In simple terms:** Kids don’t know how to help crying adults. Key Takeaway Listen and ask gently when adults seem upset. Themes empathy communication generational gaps Mood sad reflective Type advice psychological When to use this quote - parent‑child conversations - school counseling - community support groups Key Concepts emotional intelligence psychology family dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How can we teach children to recognize adult distress? - What words can bridge the emotional gap? A Different Perspective Adults may conceal feelings, making it hard to know how to respond. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Grown Ups](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grown-ups/) [Tears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tears/) ## Related quotes > [I actually like a film in a gallery, because you don't have to show up at a certain time to see something, you can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/moyra-davey/i-actually-like-a-film-in-a-gallery-because-you-don-t-have-to-show-up/) [Moyra Davey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/moyra-davey/) > [“Devorah told me, “Our daughter is grown,” and there were tears in her eyes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chaim-potok/devorah-told-me-our-daughter-is-grown-and-there-were-tears-in-her-eyes/) [Chaim Potok](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chaim-potok/) > [“No matter how hard it is to see kid tears, grown-up tears are worse to watch.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-m-bryski/no-matter-how-hard-it-is-to-see-kid-tears-grown-up-tears-are-worse-to/) [L.M. Bryski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-m-bryski/) > [He likes you, too." Finn repeated. "And don't tell me to shut up." "Shut up!" -Kingdom Keepers, Shell Game](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ridley-pearson/he-likes-you-too-finn-repeated-and-don-t-tell-me-to-shut-up-shut-up/) [Ridley Pearson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ridley-pearson/) > [“I finally had to tell him to please shut the fuck up already; funnily enough he didn't seem to appreciate that. I don't know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ethan-day/i-finally-had-to-tell-him-to-please-shut-the-fuck-up-already-funnily/) [Ethan Day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ethan-day/) > [I used to tell everyone to shut up and say I knew best - my coaches, my mum, my dad, my fiancee, my mates.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paddy-pimblett/i-used-to-tell-everyone-to-shut-up-and-say-i-knew-best-my-coaches-my/) [Paddy Pimblett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paddy-pimblett/) > [People thought he was a jerk because he'd tell them to shut up, ... Really, if you can't see then there is no way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jamie-foxx/people-thought-he-was-a-jerk-because-he-d-tell-them-to-shut-up-really/) [Jamie Foxx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jamie-foxx/) > [“You both talk too much,” the kid says. “Shut up. Don’t make me tell you again.” We shut up, which I find hysterically funny.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/you-both-talk-too-much-the-kid-says-shut-up-don-t-make-me-tell-you/) [Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/) > [In the past, people used to tell me to shut up a bit. But what I believe is to put out your opinion and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-cuban/in-the-past-people-used-to-tell-me-to-shut-up-a-bit-but-what-i/) [Mark Cuban](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-cuban/) > [“The good thing is Jason and I both outrank you so we can both tell you to shut up.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/the-good-thing-is-jason-and-i-both-outrank-you-so-we-can-both-tell/) [Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/) > [I still sing every day - in the shower or on the set all day. I'm sure everyone will tell you that I never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aaron-tveit/i-still-sing-every-day-in-the-shower-or-on-the-set-all-day-i-m-sure/) [Aaron Tveit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aaron-tveit/) > [“You know what happens when you ask too many questions, Dizzy? Someone will ultimately tell you to shut the fuck up. (Mr. Branch)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-azzarello/you-know-what-happens-when-you-ask-too-many-questions-dizzy-someone/) [Brian Azzarello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-azzarello/) > [People can tell you to shut up, but they cant keep you from having an opinion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/people-can-tell-you-to-shut-up-but-they-cant-keep-you-from-having-an/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If I started talking trash right now, people would just tell me to shut up, 'That's not you, Stephen - be quiet!'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-thompson/if-i-started-talking-trash-right-now-people-would-just-tell-me-to/) [Stephen Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-thompson/) > [If you have something to say then you want someone to pay attention or at least to have the opportunity for them to tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lydon/if-you-have-something-to-say-then-you-want-someone-to-pay-attention/) [John Lydon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lydon/) ## More by NoViolet Bulawayo > [“Further and further we go, and the sun keeps ironing us and ironing us and ironing us.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/further-and-further-we-go-and-the-sun-keeps-ironing-us-and-ironing-us/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“...and the women spread their ntsaroz and sit on one side, the men on the other, like they are two different rivers that are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/and-the-women-spread-their-ntsaroz-and-sit-on-one-side-the-men-on-the/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“Because we were not in our country, we could not use our own languages, and so when we spoke our voices came out bruised.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/because-we-were-not-in-our-country-we-could-not-use-our-own-languages/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“Heaven is boring. Didn't you see, in that picture book back when we used to go to school? It's just plain and white and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/heaven-is-boring-didn-t-you-see-in-that-picture-book-back-when-we/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“You pray and pray and pray and nothing changes, like for example I prayed for a real house and good clothes and a bicycle…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/you-pray-and-pray-and-pray-and-nothing-changes-like-for-example-i/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“It's not the lying itself that makes me feel bad but the fact that I'm here lying to my friends.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/it-s-not-the-lying-itself-that-makes-me-feel-bad-but-the-fact-that-i/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“a country is a Coca-Cola bottle that can smash on the floor and disappoint you”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/a-country-is-a-coca-cola-bottle-that-can-smash-on-the-floor-and/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“Look at them leaving in droves despite knowing they will be welcomed with restraint in those strange lands because they do not belong, knowing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/look-at-them-leaving-in-droves-despite-knowing-they-will-be-welcomed/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“this place doesn't look like my America”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/this-place-doesn-t-look-like-my-america/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“He speaks with this tone like he owns things, but we know that even the baton stick in his hands is not his, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/he-speaks-with-this-tone-like-he-owns-things-but-we-know-that-even/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“At first it comes in small drops; that's how pee does, if somebody is watching, then it just won't come. I get more tiny…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/at-first-it-comes-in-small-drops-that-s-how-pee-does-if-somebody-is/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“When you look into their faces it's like something that was in there got up and gathered its things and walked away.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/when-you-look-into-their-faces-it-s-like-something-that-was-in-there/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“Others with names like myths, names like puzzles, names we had never heard before: Virgilio, Balamugunthan, Faheem, Abdulrahman, Aziz, Baako, Dae-Hyun, Ousmane, Kimatsu. When…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/others-with-names-like-myths-names-like-puzzles-names-we-had-never/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“There are times, though, that no matter how much food I eat, I find the food does nothing for me, like I am hungry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/there-are-times-though-that-no-matter-how-much-food-i-eat-i-find-the/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) > [“If Messenger would be to open his mouth right now, his voice would be a terrible wound.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/if-messenger-would-be-to-open-his-mouth-right-now-his-voice-would-be/) [NoViolet Bulawayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) [Explore all 53 NoViolet Bulawayo quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/) ## More Tears quotes > [So when you take those tears, don't look to see I'm alright. …\*Seal - Violet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-nickel/so-when-you-take-those-tears-don-t-look-to-see-i-m-alright-seal-violet/) [Eric Nickel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-nickel/) > [“Witnessing a selfless act brings tears to remind us how we should be treating others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-mcgill/witnessing-a-selfless-act-brings-tears-to-remind-us-how-we-should-be/) [Bryant McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-mcgill/) > [Let me tell you that atheism has never painted a masterpiece. Atheism has never dispelled fear. Atheism has never healed a disease; faith in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-hagee/let-me-tell-you-that-atheism-has-never-painted-a-masterpiece-atheism/) [John Hagee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-hagee/) > [Don't trust everyone, because one day you will shed tears of blood.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sunshine/don-t-trust-everyone-because-one-day-you-will-shed-tears-of-blood/) [SunShine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sunshine/) > [Got those moods a swinging, tears a slinging, nothing fits me, when it hits me, ranting, raving, misbehaving, PMS blues.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dolly-parton/got-those-moods-a-swinging-tears-a-slinging-nothing-fits-me-when-it/) [Dolly Parton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dolly-parton/) > [I've seen every one, from Motley Crue to John Denver, with tears running down my face. I had no idea everyone had such a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stevie-nicks/i-ve-seen-every-one-from-motley-crue-to-john-denver-with-tears/) [Stevie Nicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stevie-nicks/) > [Astronomers have built telescopes which can show myriads of stars unseen before; but when a man looks through a tear in his own eye,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-ward-beecher/astronomers-have-built-telescopes-which-can-show-myriads-of-stars/) [Henry Ward Beecher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-ward-beecher/) > [Only to have a grief equal to all these tears!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-rich/only-to-have-a-grief-equal-to-all-these-tears/) [Adrienne Rich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-rich/) > [Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rudyard-kipling/brothers-and-sisters-i-bid-you-beware-of-giving-your-heart-to-a-dog/) [Rudyard Kipling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rudyard-kipling/) > [ I went to a mosque in Philadelphia with \[my wife\] in December 24, 1999. And we we went to this mosque in Philly, and… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahershala-ali/i-went-to-a-mosque-in-philadelphia-with-my-wife-in-december-24-1999/) [Mahershala Ali](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahershala-ali/) > [“You have a right to be sad, and a duty to move on. Only wins who wipes the tears, gather strength and move forward.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusto-branco/you-have-a-right-to-be-sad-and-a-duty-to-move-on-only-wins-who-wipes/) [Augusto Branco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusto-branco/) > [“Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs; Being purg'd, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes; Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/love-is-a-smoke-made-with-the-fume-of-sighs-being-purg-d-a-fire/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [“The past is only making you to spill tears, tears of joy or tears pain. But anyway they are making you sad, for the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-a/the-past-is-only-making-you-to-spill-tears-tears-of-joy-or-tears-pain/) T.A > [“I lost my chance with you then, and maybe I deserved to, for being too scared to speak up and tell you how I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melanie-harlow/i-lost-my-chance-with-you-then-and-maybe-i-deserved-to-for-being-too/) [Melanie Harlow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melanie-harlow/) > [“She allowed herself the luxury of a good cry, figuring that her tears were mingling with the downpour to soak into the soil. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracy-winegar/she-allowed-herself-the-luxury-of-a-good-cry-figuring-that-her-tears/) [Tracy Winegar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracy-winegar/) [Browse all 6,956 Tears quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tears/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“We are all watching and not knowing what to do because when grown-ups cry, it's not like you can ask them what's wrong, or tell them to shut up; there are just no words for a grown-up's tears.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "NoViolet Bulawayo" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what-to-do-because-when-grown-ups/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Tears" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what-to-do-because-when-grown-ups/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5e/noviolet-bulawayo-12666_tears_we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what_1477114.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5e/noviolet-bulawayo-12666_tears_we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what_1477114.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5e/noviolet-bulawayo-12666_tears_we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what_1477114.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We are all watching and not knowing what to do because when grown-ups cry, it's not like you can ask them…” — NoViolet Bulawayo", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "NoViolet Bulawayo", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noviolet-bulawayo/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“We are all watching and not...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what-to-do-because-when-grown-ups/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noviolet-bulawayo/we-are-all-watching-and-not-knowing-what-to-do-because-when-grown-ups/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```