--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Bryce had the same reasons for not being…" description: "\"“Bryce had the same reasons for not being there that everyone who wasn’t there had: they didn’t want to ruin their memories of him, they didn’t want to..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/nora-mcinerny-purmort-28828_quote_bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being_2103710.jpg" --- # Bryce had the same reasons for not being there that… ![“Bryce had the same reasons for not being there that everyone who wasn’t there had: they didn’t want to ruin their memories of him, they didn’t want to be sad, they were scared, they didn’t know what to do. Nicole Petty would not stand for that. Because Aaron didn’t want to do any of this, either…” quote by Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/nora-mcinerny-purmort-28828_quote_bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being_2103710.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/nora-mcinerny-purmort-28828_quote_bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being_2103710.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/nora-mcinerny-purmort-28828_quote_bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being_2103710.jpg) > ““Bryce had the same reasons for not being there that everyone who wasn’t there had: they didn’t want to ruin their memories of him, they didn’t want to be sad, they were scared, they didn’t know what to do. Nicole Petty would not stand for that. Because Aaron didn’t want to do any of this, either, but he didn’t have a choice. You don’t get to just come to the wedding and the funeral, but skip the middle part because it might make you too sad. That is against the rules.”” [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People avoid confronting grief because they fear losing cherished memories, leading to avoidance of necessary emotional processing. **In simple terms:** Avoiding grief to protect memories. Key Takeaway Face grief, don’t skip the middle. Themes grief memory avoidance emotional honesty Mood sadness reflective Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - weddings - funerals - family gatherings - support groups Key Concepts psychology social norms bereavement Questions to Reflect On - How do you honor memories while allowing grief? - What prevents you from confronting sadness? A Different Perspective Skipping the middle may prolong unresolved pain. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet ## Related quotes > [“Grief is lonely, no matter how many other people feel it. They are different, each one, because we’ve lost different people, different versions of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/grief-is-lonely-no-matter-how-many-other-people-feel-it-they-are/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“We learn as we get older to appreciate the people we love for who they are, and for how they love us.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/we-learn-as-we-get-older-to-appreciate-the-people-we-love-for-who/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“You may be the person who says the wrong thing, but that’s better than being the one who says nothing at all.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/you-may-be-the-person-who-says-the-wrong-thing-but-that-s-better-than/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“I am done trying to reason with it. For now, at least. There is no reason. There is nothing to understand. There is no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/i-am-done-trying-to-reason-with-it-for-now-at-least-there-is-no/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“You’re thankful for the kind things people say, you forgive the dumb things, but you’re crushed by the silence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/you-re-thankful-for-the-kind-things-people-say-you-forgive-the-dumb/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“Be kind,” we post on Facebook, “for everyone you meet is facing a hard battle.” We attribute that quote to everyone from Aristotle to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/be-kind-we-post-on-facebook-for-everyone-you-meet-is-facing-a-hard/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“I can take the message to Garcia. It doesn’t matter how or why. When something needs to be done, I can goddamn do it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/i-can-take-the-message-to-garcia-it-doesn-t-matter-how-or-why-when/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“Not everyone does what they’re supposed to do, or does what you want them to do. And sure, it can hurt your feelings, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/not-everyone-does-what-they-re-supposed-to-do-or-does-what-you-want/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“I am, I think, finally learning what a prayer is. It is just a thank-you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/i-am-i-think-finally-learning-what-a-prayer-is-it-is-just-a-thank-you/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“When you are an English major, they tell you that you can do anything, but what they really mean is that you could just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/when-you-are-an-english-major-they-tell-you-that-you-can-do-anything/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“You check your phone in the middle of the workday. Your person has sent you a text. He wants to know how your day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/you-check-your-phone-in-the-middle-of-the-workday-your-person-has/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“I was sure, all the time, that I was doing it wrong. I spent a lot of time looking up from my life and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/i-was-sure-all-the-time-that-i-was-doing-it-wrong-i-spent-a-lot-of/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“It is rare and magical when you and your world can accept and love the same version of you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/it-is-rare-and-magical-when-you-and-your-world-can-accept-and-love/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“The world will keep spinning, and your life will get a little bit better every time you give up on the shit that is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/the-world-will-keep-spinning-and-your-life-will-get-a-little-bit/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“These are the diamonds I picked from the darkness, that shine with meaning only for me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/these-are-the-diamonds-i-picked-from-the-darkness-that-shine-with/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) ## More by Nora McInerny Purmort > [“Grief is lonely, no matter how many other people feel it. They are different, each one, because we’ve lost different people, different versions of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/grief-is-lonely-no-matter-how-many-other-people-feel-it-they-are/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“The world will keep spinning, and your life will get a little bit better every time you give up on the shit that is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/the-world-will-keep-spinning-and-your-life-will-get-a-little-bit/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“It is rare and magical when you and your world can accept and love the same version of you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/it-is-rare-and-magical-when-you-and-your-world-can-accept-and-love/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“I was sure, all the time, that I was doing it wrong. I spent a lot of time looking up from my life and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/i-was-sure-all-the-time-that-i-was-doing-it-wrong-i-spent-a-lot-of/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“You check your phone in the middle of the workday. Your person has sent you a text. He wants to know how your day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/you-check-your-phone-in-the-middle-of-the-workday-your-person-has/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“When you are an English major, they tell you that you can do anything, but what they really mean is that you could just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/when-you-are-an-english-major-they-tell-you-that-you-can-do-anything/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“I am, I think, finally learning what a prayer is. It is just a thank-you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/i-am-i-think-finally-learning-what-a-prayer-is-it-is-just-a-thank-you/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“Not everyone does what they’re supposed to do, or does what you want them to do. And sure, it can hurt your feelings, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/not-everyone-does-what-they-re-supposed-to-do-or-does-what-you-want/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“I can take the message to Garcia. It doesn’t matter how or why. When something needs to be done, I can goddamn do it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/i-can-take-the-message-to-garcia-it-doesn-t-matter-how-or-why-when/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“Be kind,” we post on Facebook, “for everyone you meet is facing a hard battle.” We attribute that quote to everyone from Aristotle to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/be-kind-we-post-on-facebook-for-everyone-you-meet-is-facing-a-hard/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“You’re thankful for the kind things people say, you forgive the dumb things, but you’re crushed by the silence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/you-re-thankful-for-the-kind-things-people-say-you-forgive-the-dumb/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“I am done trying to reason with it. For now, at least. There is no reason. There is nothing to understand. There is no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/i-am-done-trying-to-reason-with-it-for-now-at-least-there-is-no/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“You may be the person who says the wrong thing, but that’s better than being the one who says nothing at all.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/you-may-be-the-person-who-says-the-wrong-thing-but-that-s-better-than/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“We learn as we get older to appreciate the people we love for who they are, and for how they love us.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/we-learn-as-we-get-older-to-appreciate-the-people-we-love-for-who/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) > [“These are the diamonds I picked from the darkness, that shine with meaning only for me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/these-are-the-diamonds-i-picked-from-the-darkness-that-shine-with/) [Nora McInerny Purmort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) [Explore all 19 Nora McInerny Purmort quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Bryce had the same reasons for not being there that everyone who wasn’t there had: they didn’t want to ruin their memories of him, they didn’t want to be sad, they were scared, they didn’t know what to do. Nicole Petty would not stand for that. Because Aaron didn’t want to do any of this, either, but he didn’t have a choice. You don’t get to just come to the wedding and the funeral, but skip the middle part because it might make you too sad. That is against the rules.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Nora McInerny Purmort" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being-there-that-everyone-who-wasn/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Bryce Reasons" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being-there-that-everyone-who-wasn/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/nora-mcinerny-purmort-28828_quote_bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being_2103710.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/nora-mcinerny-purmort-28828_quote_bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being_2103710.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/nora-mcinerny-purmort-28828_quote_bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being_2103710.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Bryce had the same reasons for not being there that everyone who wasn’t there had: they didn’t want to ruin…” — Nora McInerny Purmort", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Nora McInerny Purmort", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-mcinerny-purmort/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Bryce had the same reasons for...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being-there-that-everyone-who-wasn/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-mcinerny-purmort/bryce-had-the-same-reasons-for-not-being-there-that-everyone-who-wasn/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```