--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: This year wasn’t like any before it, I…" description: "\"“This year wasn’t like any before it, I learned more about myself and life an even love than I have in the entire seventeen years before. I learned I’m..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b85/nicole-williams-845_crash_this-year-wasn-t-like-any-before-it-i-le_1789615.png" --- # This year wasn’t like any before it, I learned more about… ![“This year wasn’t like any before it, I learned more about myself and life an even love than I have in the entire seventeen years before. I learned I’m not the piece of shit everyone likes to believe I am. The piece of shit I believed I was. Someone told me that again and again and again, and it…” quote by Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b85/nicole-williams-845_crash_this-year-wasn-t-like-any-before-it-i-le_1789615.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b85/nicole-williams-845_crash_this-year-wasn-t-like-any-before-it-i-le_1789615.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b85/nicole-williams-845_crash_this-year-wasn-t-like-any-before-it-i-le_1789615.png) > ““This year wasn’t like any before it, I learned more about myself and life an even love than I have in the entire seventeen years before. I learned I’m not the piece of shit everyone likes to believe I am. The piece of shit I believed I was. Someone told me that again and again and again, and it took me the better part of the year, but I think I finally believe her. Because I don’t need to believe where I’ve been is where I’m headed. And I don’t need to believe that one tragedy can shape the future. Only I can do that. I see that now. I also know that in the process of me learning this, the person who taught it to me lost her belief in me, and maybe even herself, and the whole damn world. I could go to jail a million times and nothing would be worse than what I did to her. She taught me how to love-she even gave me chance after chance to show her I was capable of it. And I failed her every time. I love you, Lucy Larson. And I’m sorry I had to ruin everything we had to recognize that. And I get why I lost you and I’ll never get you back. You save me, Lucy, and I didn’t return the favor. And I’m sorry, I just wanted you to know.”” [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A personal confession of self‑discovery, guilt, and longing for redemption after recognizing one’s own unworthiness and the impact on a loved one. **In simple terms:** Realizing self‑worth and regret over hurting someone you love. Key Takeaway Acknowledge pain, seek forgiveness, and change behavior. Themes self‑discovery guilt redemption love regret Mood sorrowful reflective hopeful Type confessional emotional apologetic When to use this quote - relationship breakup - personal therapy - self‑reflection - confession - apology Key Concepts identity self‑esteem forgiveness personal growth Questions to Reflect On - What steps can you take to rebuild trust after harming someone? - How can you transform self‑criticism into constructive self‑growth? A Different Perspective The narrative is deeply subjective and may lack broader context for universal lessons. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Faith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faith/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) ## Related quotes > [“Then, lifting me up, his head fell back and he opened his mouth wide. “Once I let Lucy Larson into my heart! I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/then-lifting-me-up-his-head-fell-back-and-he-opened-his-mouth-wide/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“God was in the business of bringing blessings out of unexpected circumstances, but Lucy didn’t want this twist to her life. … but didn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colleen-coble/god-was-in-the-business-of-bringing-blessings-out-of-unexpected/) [Colleen Coble](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colleen-coble/) > [“The name’s Jude Ryder, since I know you’re all but salivating like a rabid dog to know, and I don’t do girlfriends, relationships, flowers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/the-name-s-jude-ryder-since-i-know-you-re-all-but-salivating-like-a/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“Rain. Jude. Me. Kissing Stick a fork in me because I was done.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/rain-jude-me-kissing-stick-a-fork-in-me-because-i-was-done/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“So Jude was still Jude, I was still me, and we were still us. About the only thing that had changed was our bank…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/so-jude-was-still-jude-i-was-still-me-and-we-were-still-us-about-the/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“I'll be the judge of that, I whispered, pressing my lips into his and, just like that, we were the only people on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/i-ll-be-the-judge-of-that-i-whispered-pressing-my-lips-into-his-and/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“And you," Jude said, stepping forward and putting his finger in Tony's face. "Don't you ever try to give something of yours to put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/and-you-jude-said-stepping-forward-and-putting-his-finger-in-tony-s/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“Glancing up at Jude, I found him looking at me, staring at me like he couldn't help it. Maybe that's because I could have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/glancing-up-at-jude-i-found-him-looking-at-me-staring-at-me-like-he/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“You've got your arm on something of mine," Jude said, his eyes flashing when he looked at Sawyer.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/you-ve-got-your-arm-on-something-of-mine-jude-said-his-eyes-flashing/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“Jude had promised me that the money and the fame wouldn’t change him, and he’d been right. He still swaggered around in his Cons…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/jude-had-promised-me-that-the-money-and-the-fame-wouldn-t-change-him/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [Jude wasn't just my first love. He was my forever love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/jude-wasn-t-just-my-first-love-he-was-my-forever-love/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“At least you died and went to heaven”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/at-least-you-died-and-went-to-heaven/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“Everyone was going crazy, like they’d just witnessed the birth of Jesus and the invention of electricity at the same time. Jude was a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/everyone-was-going-crazy-like-they-d-just-witnessed-the-birth-of/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“Luce," Jude said, unfurling the blanket cinched around me, grabbing my hands when he pulled them free, "you're my girl. The girl." To join…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/luce-jude-said-unfurling-the-blanket-cinched-around-me-grabbing-my/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“The name's Jude Ryder since you're going to be my wife soon. And I didn't used to do girlfriends, flowers, or dates. And then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/the-name-s-jude-ryder-since-you-re-going-to-be-my-wife-soon-and-i/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) ## More by Nicole Williams > [When you find someone you want to spend forever with you, you don't let them go, whether forever turns out to be a day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/when-you-find-someone-you-want-to-spend-forever-with-you-you-don-t/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“We will all, at some point in our lives, fall. Every single one of us. We shouldn't spend our time trying to avoid falling.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/we-will-all-at-some-point-in-our-lives-fall-every-single-one-of-us-we/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“So, which one are you? The right or the wrong woman?” I looked him in the eyes and answered, “Both.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/so-which-one-are-you-the-right-or-the-wrong-woman-i-looked-him-in-the/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“You can survive alone, or you can \*live\* together. I know which option William would chose—has chosen,” he said, shaking me as if he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/you-can-survive-alone-or-you-can-live-together-i-know-which-option/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“I'd been labelled a goth, an emo, a druggie, a loser, and my personal favorite only because it showed just how ignorant people were:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/i-d-been-labelled-a-goth-an-emo-a-druggie-a-loser-and-my-personal/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“and no, no, I didn’t think it was a coincidence SS was short for sorority sister.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/and-no-no-i-didn-t-think-it-was-a-coincidence-ss-was-short-for/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“a guy whose name has become its own verb, and synonymous with trouble.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/a-guy-whose-name-has-become-its-own-verb-and-synonymous-with-trouble/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“Don’t let disappointment be the measure of your relationship with a person. Let trust be the measure.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/don-t-let-disappointment-be-the-measure-of-your-relationship-with-a/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“There's never been anyone but you, Bryn...ever. You've been that one shining star in the night sky, shining brighter than the others, until that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/there-s-never-been-anyone-but-you-bryn-ever-you-ve-been-that-one/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“I’ll be here, each day and every day on, as long as you want me to be”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/i-ll-be-here-each-day-and-every-day-on-as-long-as-you-want-me-to-be/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“don’t make me walk back without being beside you, holding your hand.” He lowered one arm from my waist to draw my hand to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/don-t-make-me-walk-back-without-being-beside-you-holding-your-hand-he/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“My number one commitment is you, Luce.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/my-number-one-commitment-is-you-luce/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“What the hell? Was I about to get off in a laundry room spying on the back of some cowboy I’d known for all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/what-the-hell-was-i-about-to-get-off-in-a-laundry-room-spying-on-the/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“Give me another chance, one more chance, and I’ll walk a line so straight people will think I’ve been possessed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/give-me-another-chance-one-more-chance-and-i-ll-walk-a-line-so/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“I was on some sort of sick, self-destruction thought stream.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/i-was-on-some-sort-of-sick-self-destruction-thought-stream/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) [Explore all 330 Nicole Williams quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) ## More Crash quotes > [If Wall Street crashes, does Main Street follow? Not necessarily.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-bernanke/if-wall-street-crashes-does-main-street-follow-not-necessarily/) [Ben Bernanke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-bernanke/) > [I had no desire to crash a man's world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ida-lupino/i-had-no-desire-to-crash-a-man-s-world/) [Ida Lupino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ida-lupino/) > [I was too tired to think. I merely felt the town as a unique unreality. What was it? I knew -- the moon's picture…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-was-too-tired-to-think-i-merely-felt-the-town-as-a-unique-unreality/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [And I always think of life like a giant wave. You know, it rises and it crests and it flies, and it's just magnificent,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-seymour/and-i-always-think-of-life-like-a-giant-wave-you-know-it-rises-and-it/) [Jane Seymour](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-seymour/) > [Consider developing your whole self with the same raw focus and intensity that you develop a particular skill set. Get focused. Go out, have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-holden/consider-developing-your-whole-self-with-the-same-raw-focus-and/) [Anthony Holden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-holden/) > [It is moonlight. Alone in the silence I ascend my stairs once more, While waves remote in pale blue starlight Crash on a white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conrad-aiken/it-is-moonlight-alone-in-the-silence-i-ascend-my-stairs-once-more/) [Conrad Aiken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conrad-aiken/) > [“A shooting star, a cloud, or some sign from the Goddess…? One second later, the world shattered. Her father's grumbling voice was suddenly cut…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-l-shreffler/a-shooting-star-a-cloud-or-some-sign-from-the-goddess-one-second/) [T.L. Shreffler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-l-shreffler/) > [But I am only human and I bleed when I fall down I am only human and I crash and I break down u…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/human/but-i-am-only-human-and-i-bleed-when-i-fall-down-i-am-only-human-and/) Human > [You put together two people who have not been put together before. Sometimes it is like that first attempt to harness a hydrogen balloon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julian-barnes/you-put-together-two-people-who-have-not-been-put-together-before/) [Julian Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julian-barnes/) > [It's like when we get the transformer movies. It was all a bunch of smaller robot pieces and then you're on set, and you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregory-nicotero/it-s-like-when-we-get-the-transformer-movies-it-was-all-a-bunch-of/) [Gregory Nicotero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregory-nicotero/) > [CGI has fully ruined car crashes. Because how can you be impressed with them now? When you watch them in the '70s, it was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/quentin-tarantino/cgi-has-fully-ruined-car-crashes-because-how-can-you-be-impressed/) [Quentin Tarantino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/quentin-tarantino/) > [It is madness to wear ladies' straw hats and velvet hats to church; we should all be wearing crash helmets. Ushers should issue life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-dillard/it-is-madness-to-wear-ladies-straw-hats-and-velvet-hats-to-church-we/) [Annie Dillard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-dillard/) > [We need to take a leaf out of natures book. Any species that clones itself will eventually be attacked by a parasite, leading to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-suarez/we-need-to-take-a-leaf-out-of-natures-book-any-species-that-clones/) [Daniel Suarez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-suarez/) > [Among those today who believe that modern poetry must do without rhyme or metre, there is an assumption that the alternative to free verse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-fenton/among-those-today-who-believe-that-modern-poetry-must-do-without/) [James Fenton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-fenton/) > [I do not use airplanes. They strike me as unsporting. You can have an automobile accident-and survive. You can be on a sinking ship-and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isaac-asimov/i-do-not-use-airplanes-they-strike-me-as-unsporting-you-can-have-an/) [Isaac Asimov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isaac-asimov/) Browse all 836 Crash quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“This year wasn’t like any before it, I learned more about myself and life an even love than I have in the entire seventeen years before. I learned I’m not the piece of shit everyone likes to believe I am. The piece of shit I believed I was. Someone told me that again and again and again, and it took me the better part of the year, but I think I finally believe her. Because I don’t need to believe where I’ve been is where I’m headed. And I don’t need to believe that one tragedy can shape the future. Only I can do that. I see that now. I also know that in the process of me learning this, the person who taught it to me lost her belief in me, and maybe even herself, and the whole damn world. I could go to jail a million times and nothing would be worse than what I did to her. She taught me how to love-she even gave me chance after chance to show her I was capable of it. And I failed her every time. I love you, Lucy Larson. And I’m sorry I had to ruin everything we had to recognize that. And I get why I lost you and I’ll never get you back. You save me, Lucy, and I didn’t return the favor. 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