--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I wished to punish her for her…" description: "\"I wished to punish her for her intolerable stoicism, which made it impossible for me to ever be truly needed by her in the most profound ways a person ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cd/nicole-krauss-920_impossible_i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerab_1665858.png" --- # I wished to punish her for her intolerable stoicism, which… ![“I wished to punish her for her intolerable stoicism, which made it impossible for me to ever be truly needed by her in the most profound ways a person can need another, a need that often goes by the name of love.” quote by Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cd/nicole-krauss-920_impossible_i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerab_1665858.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cd/nicole-krauss-920_impossible_i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerab_1665858.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cd/nicole-krauss-920_impossible_i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerab_1665858.png) > “I wished to punish her for her intolerable stoicism, which made it impossible for me to ever be truly needed by her in the most profound ways a person can need another, a need that often goes by the name of love.” [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. She resents her partner's stoic detachment, feeling she can never be truly needed, which she equates with love. **In simple terms:** She feels she can't be needed because of his stoicism. Key Takeaway Recognize how emotional distance limits intimacy. Themes love need stoicism intimacy Mood melancholic reflective Type literary emotional When to use this quote - relationships - marriage - emotional support Key Concepts existential longing psychological dependence Questions to Reflect On - How does stoicism affect your sense of being needed? - Can vulnerability replace the need for being needed? A Different Perspective Stoicism can be a protective barrier, not just a flaw. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Impossible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/impossible/) [Intolerable Stoicism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intolerable-stoicism-806166/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Made](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/made/) [Names](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/names/) [Needed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needed/) [Needed Profound](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needed-profound-806170/) [Needs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needs/) [Persons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/) [Profound](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/profound/) [Punish Intolerable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/punish-intolerable-806168/) [Stoicism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stoicism/) [Stoicism Impossible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stoicism-impossible-806167/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) [Wished Punish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wished-punish-806169/) ## Related quotes > [If I wished to punish my enemy, I should make him hate somebody.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hannah-more/if-i-wished-to-punish-my-enemy-i-should-make-him-hate-somebody/) [Hannah More](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hannah-more/) > [If God wished to punish us, all he would need to do would be to answer our prayers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/if-god-wished-to-punish-us-all-he-would-need-to-do-would-be-to-answer/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [If I wished to punish a province, I would have it governed by philosophers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-the-great/if-i-wished-to-punish-a-province-i-would-have-it-governed-by/) [Frederick The Great](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-the-great/) > [“When God wished to punish France, he took away the Bourbons from her governance”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bonald/when-god-wished-to-punish-france-he-took-away-the-bourbons-from-her/) [Louis de Bonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bonald/) > [See, I don’t expect to win a prize for stoic control and dignity at mourning time. Death deserve tantrums. Beating back shocked indignation, kicks…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruby-dee/see-i-don-t-expect-to-win-a-prize-for-stoic-control-and-dignity-at/) [Ruby Dee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruby-dee/) > [“You should … live in such a way that there is nothing which you could not as easily tell your enemy as keep to yourself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucius-annaeus-seneca/you-should-live-in-such-a-way-that-there-is-nothing-which-you-could/) [Lucius Annaeus Seneca](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucius-annaeus-seneca/) > [“Quietism, Buddhism, and other religions, everything which denies the flesh—is the great inferiority to God in ourselves, an escapism seeking sanctuary through fear of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/austin-osman-spare/quietism-buddhism-and-other-religions-everything-which-denies-the/) [Austin Osman Spare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/austin-osman-spare/) > [Nothing, to my way of thinking, is a better proof of a well-ordered mind than a man's ability to stop just where he is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seneca-the-younger/nothing-to-my-way-of-thinking-is-a-better-proof-of-a-well-ordered/) [Seneca the Younger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seneca-the-younger/) > [“Stoic ethics is a species of eudaimonism. Its central, organizing concern is about what we ought to do or be to live well—to flourish.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lawrence-c-becker/stoic-ethics-is-a-species-of-eudaimonism-its-central-organizing/) [Lawrence C. Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lawrence-c-becker/) > [The Stoics say, "Retire within yourselves; it is there you will find your rest." And that is not true. Others say, "Go out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blaise-pascal/the-stoics-say-retire-within-yourselves-it-is-there-you-will-find/) [Blaise Pascal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/blaise-pascal/) > [“Stoicism sure comes in handy when they take away your underpants. But how to reconcile it with one's insatiable need for other people?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/piper-kerman/stoicism-sure-comes-in-handy-when-they-take-away-your-underpants-but/) [Piper Kerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/piper-kerman/) > [“At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself, "I have to go to work - as a human being. What…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-aurelius/at-dawn-when-you-have-trouble-getting-out-of-bed-tell-yourself-i-have/) [Marcus Aurelius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-aurelius/) > [“You should, I need hardly say, live in such a way that there is nothing which you could not as easily tell your enemy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seneca/you-should-i-need-hardly-say-live-in-such-a-way-that-there-is-nothing/) [Seneca](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seneca/) > [“The areas of great interest to the Stoics all make an appearance here: virtue, mortality, emotions, self-awareness, fortitude, right action, problem solving, acceptance, mental…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-holiday/the-areas-of-great-interest-to-the-stoics-all-make-an-appearance-here/) [Ryan Holiday](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-holiday/) > [“The wife of a junior officer cooped up in a horrible canvas partition in steerage for five months wrote: "I had enjoyed much peace…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-taylor/the-wife-of-a-junior-officer-cooped-up-in-a-horrible-canvas-partition/) [Stephen Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-taylor/) ## More by Nicole Krauss > [“Narrative cannot sustain formlessness any more than light can sustain darkness - it is the antithesis of formlessness, and so it can never truly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/narrative-cannot-sustain-formlessness-any-more-than-light-can-sustain/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [I think of novels as houses. You live in them over the course of a long period, both as a reader and as a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/i-think-of-novels-as-houses-you-live-in-them-over-the-course-of-a/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [When we went into the ocean, I watched his body as he dove into the waves, and it gave me a feeling in my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/when-we-went-into-the-ocean-i-watched-his-body-as-he-dove-into-the/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“There are times when the kindness of strangers only makes matter worse because one realizes how badly one is in need of kindness and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/there-are-times-when-the-kindness-of-strangers-only-makes-matter/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [She was gone, and all that was left was the space where you'd grown around her, like a tree that grows around a fence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/she-was-gone-and-all-that-was-left-was-the-space-where-you-d-grown/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“The air felt different in my lungs. The world no longer looked the same. You change and then you change again. You become a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/the-air-felt-different-in-my-lungs-the-world-no-longer-looked-the/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“The first language humans had was gestures. There was nothing primitive about this language that flowed from people’s hands, nothing we say now that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/the-first-language-humans-had-was-gestures-there-was-nothing/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [I feel really strongly about not wanting to overly guide the reader about what he or she should think. I really trust the reader…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/i-feel-really-strongly-about-not-wanting-to-overly-guide-the-reader/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [Mom?" I said. She turned. "Can I talk to you about something?" "Of course, darling. Come here." I took a few steps into the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/mom-i-said-she-turned-can-i-talk-to-you-about-something-of-course/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [In one's youth, one has tremendous access to one's feelings. And as one gets older, some of those feelings kind of drift away. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/in-one-s-youth-one-has-tremendous-access-to-one-s-feelings-and-as-one/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [Obviously I've been reading Kafka for a long long time, since I was really young, and even before I ever read him I knew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/obviously-i-ve-been-reading-kafka-for-a-long-long-time-since-i-was/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“She's kept her love for him as alive as the summer they first met. In order to do this, she's turned life away. Sometimes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/she-s-kept-her-love-for-him-as-alive-as-the-summer-they-first-met-in/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [Sometimes no length of string is long enough to say the thing that needs to be said. In such cases all the string can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/sometimes-no-length-of-string-is-long-enough-to-say-the-thing-that/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“Doesn’t part of the awe that fills us when we confront the unknown come from understanding that, should it at last flood into us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/doesn-t-part-of-the-awe-that-fills-us-when-we-confront-the-unknown/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“I knew how to raise my own child, what did he think it was, a game of Scrabble or Monopoly, there are no rules,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/i-knew-how-to-raise-my-own-child-what-did-he-think-it-was-a-game-of/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) [Explore all 323 Nicole Krauss quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) ## More Impossible quotes > [Making movies seemed so impossible as far as getting my ideas funded.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/boots-riley/making-movies-seemed-so-impossible-as-far-as-getting-my-ideas-funded/) [Boots Riley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/boots-riley/) > [All Germany was in turmoil. Revolutionaries seized power in the cities of Munich, Hanover and Cologne. One regional German government after another was toppled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-cross-giblin/all-germany-was-in-turmoil-revolutionaries-seized-power-in-the-cities/) [James Cross Giblin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-cross-giblin/) > [Even though you can't expect to defeat the absurdity of the world, you must make that attempt. That's morality, that's religion. That's art. That's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-ochs/even-though-you-can-t-expect-to-defeat-the-absurdity-of-the-world-you/) [Phil Ochs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-ochs/) > [History is, in its essentials, the science of change. It knows and it teaches that it is impossible to find two events that are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marc-bloch/history-is-in-its-essentials-the-science-of-change-it-knows-and-it/) [Marc Bloch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marc-bloch/) > [We have a fear of facing ourselves. That is the obstacle. Experiencing the innermost core of our existence is very embarrassing to a lot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chogyam-trungpa/we-have-a-fear-of-facing-ourselves-that-is-the-obstacle-experiencing/) [Chogyam Trungpa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chogyam-trungpa/) > [One is not born a genius, one becomes a genius; and the feminine situation has up to the present rendered this becoming practically impossible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simone-de-beauvoir/one-is-not-born-a-genius-one-becomes-a-genius-and-the-feminine/) [Simone de Beauvoir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simone-de-beauvoir/) > [every being is unique.god neva creates carbon copies,he alys creates originals.he is truly a creator.he neva repeats.but man goes on living in imitation.we are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/every-being-is-unique-god-neva-creates-carbon-copies-he-alys-creates/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It is not enough to dream of the Impossible Love - it is necessary to conquer it too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/it-is-not-enough-to-dream-of-the-impossible-love-it-is-necessary-to/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [I've heard from the movie marketplace that James Cameron did such a killer job with 'Titanic' that it's almost impossible to do anything better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erik-larson/i-ve-heard-from-the-movie-marketplace-that-james-cameron-did-such-a/) [Erik Larson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erik-larson/) > [Among the many factors that make a return to halcyon days of the first decades of the postwar era virtually impossible is the decline…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-gilpin/among-the-many-factors-that-make-a-return-to-halcyon-days-of-the/) [Robert Gilpin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-gilpin/) > [Ronaldo is just an athlete. He works so hard and back to back; he is always there. But if you work hard, can you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edgar-davids/ronaldo-is-just-an-athlete-he-works-so-hard-and-back-to-back-he-is/) [Edgar Davids](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edgar-davids/) > [In such a diversity it was impossible I should be disposed to melancholy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-boone/in-such-a-diversity-it-was-impossible-i-should-be-disposed-to/) [Daniel Boone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-boone/) > [For war to man, like childbirth to women, is simplifying in its emotions and activities. All the real problems of life can be put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pearl-s-buck/for-war-to-man-like-childbirth-to-women-is-simplifying-in-its/) [Pearl S. Buck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pearl-s-buck/) > [I just like stories about redemption about getting a second chance at life, I think everyone in the world has a few major mistakes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvester-stallone/i-just-like-stories-about-redemption-about-getting-a-second-chance-at/) [Sylvester Stallone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvester-stallone/) > [It's impossible to know who Donald might have been under different circumstances and with different parents.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-l-trump/it-s-impossible-to-know-who-donald-might-have-been-under-different/) [Mary L. Trump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-l-trump/) [Browse all 7,633 Impossible quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/impossible/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I wished to punish her for her intolerable stoicism, which made it impossible for me to ever be truly needed by her in the most profound ways a person can need another, a need that often goes by the name of love.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Nicole Krauss" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerable-stoicism-which-made-it/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Impossible" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerable-stoicism-which-made-it/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cd/nicole-krauss-920_impossible_i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerab_1665858.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cd/nicole-krauss-920_impossible_i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerab_1665858.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cd/nicole-krauss-920_impossible_i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerab_1665858.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I wished to punish her for her intolerable stoicism, which made it impossible for me to ever be truly needed…” — Nicole Krauss", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Nicole Krauss", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I wished to punish her for...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerable-stoicism-which-made-it/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/i-wished-to-punish-her-for-her-intolerable-stoicism-which-made-it/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```