--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: He went on for some time while I sat…" description: "\"“He went on for some time while I sat listening in silence because I knew he was right, and like two people who have loved each other however imperfect..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/239/nicole-krauss-920_divorce_he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-lis_3211080.png" --- # He went on for some time while I sat listening in silence… ![“He went on for some time while I sat listening in silence because I knew he was right, and like two people who have loved each other however imperfectly, who have tried to make a life together, however imperfectly, who have lived side by side and watched the wrinkles slowly form at the corner of…” quote by Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/239/nicole-krauss-920_divorce_he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-lis_3211080.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/239/nicole-krauss-920_divorce_he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-lis_3211080.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/239/nicole-krauss-920_divorce_he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-lis_3211080.png) > ““He went on for some time while I sat listening in silence because I knew he was right, and like two people who have loved each other however imperfectly, who have tried to make a life together, however imperfectly, who have lived side by side and watched the wrinkles slowly form at the corner of the other's eyes, and watched a little drop of gray, as if poured from a jug, drop into the other's skin and spread itself evenly, listening to the other's coughs and sneezes and little collected mumblings, like two people who'd had one idea together and slowly allowed that idea to be replaced with two separate, less hopeful, less ambitious ideas, we spoke deep into the night, and the next day, and the next night. For forty days and forty nights, I want to say, but the fact of the matter is it only took three. One of us had loved the other more perfectly, had watched the other more closely, and one of us listened and the other hadn't, and one of us held on to the ambition of the one idea far longer than was reasonable, whereas the other, passing a garbage can one night, had casually thrown it away.”” [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A relationship erodes as partners grow apart, each clinging to different visions of love and ambition, leading to inevitable separation. **In simple terms:** Love fades when partners diverge in goals and attention. Key Takeaway Recognize when love becomes unequal and address it early. Themes love relationships miscommunication growth loss Mood melancholic reflective Type narrative emotional When to use this quote - marriage counseling - friendship endings - career partnerships - family dynamics Key Concepts attachment theory personal ambition communication breakdown Questions to Reflect On - How do you balance personal ambition with mutual support? - When did you first notice the shift in your relationship? A Different Perspective One partner's perfection can blind them to the other's needs, causing imbalance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Divorce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorce/) [Ideas Spoke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ideas-spoke-2380597/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Life together](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-together/) [Listened](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/listened/) [Listened Hadn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/listened-hadn-4201605/) [Listening Silence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/listening-silence-2239079/) [Lost love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lost-love/) [Next day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/next-day/) [Side by side](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/side-by-side/) [Silence Knew](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/silence-knew-1116999/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [“For a brief moment, I wonder if I would have listened to him if he hadn't died. Would I have clung to his every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-jenkins-reid/for-a-brief-moment-i-wonder-if-i-would-have-listened-to-him-if-he/) [Taylor Jenkins Reid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-jenkins-reid/) > [“When he entered after her, she saw that he meant to come straight to her, and she raised a hand. "No," she said. "Wait."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meredith-duran/when-he-entered-after-her-she-saw-that-he-meant-to-come-straight-to/) [Meredith Duran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meredith-duran/) > [There were so many lessons I learned the hard way: missing out on a raise because I didn't know to ask, having colleagues consistently…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-minshew/there-were-so-many-lessons-i-learned-the-hard-way-missing-out-on-a/) [Kathryn Minshew](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-minshew/) > [“I took a heavenly ride through our silence I knew the moment had arrived For killing the past and coming back to life".”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pink-floyd/i-took-a-heavenly-ride-through-our-silence-i-knew-the-moment-had/) [Pink Floyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pink-floyd/) > [“He took her hand in his, both clasped on the table, and between them silence grew, an ancient silence that they both knew. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie/he-took-her-hand-in-his-both-clasped-on-the-table-and-between-them/) [Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie/) > [As the music played over the speakers and the waterfall in the pool filled the silence around us, I knew that without a doubt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abbi-glines/as-the-music-played-over-the-speakers-and-the-waterfall-in-the-pool/) [Abbi Glines](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abbi-glines/) > [“In the beginnings of that silence, he knew something. Clearly. Once you throw down that gauntlet of ultimatum, the “one more thing” will happen.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-ryan-hyde/in-the-beginnings-of-that-silence-he-knew-something-clearly-once-you/) [Catherine Ryan Hyde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-ryan-hyde/) > [The silence was killing me. And that's all there ever was. Silence. It was all I knew. Keep quiet. Pretend nothing had happened, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-lynn/the-silence-was-killing-me-and-that-s-all-there-ever-was-silence-it/) [J. Lynn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-lynn/) > [“The silence depressed me. It wasn’t the silence of silence. It was my own silence. I knew perfectly well the cars were making a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-plath/the-silence-depressed-me-it-wasn-t-the-silence-of-silence-it-was-my/) [Sylvia Plath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-plath/) > [“It was in that silence that I knew. I loved him. I loved him so, so much. It wasn’t a dream anymore, nor was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brittainy-c-cherry/it-was-in-that-silence-that-i-knew-i-loved-him-i-loved-him-so-so-much/) [Brittainy C. Cherry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brittainy-c-cherry/) > [“Your silence creates a vacuum for others to fill The key is to stay present and keep listening. The silence of holding steady is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/your-silence-creates-a-vacuum-for-others-to-fill-the-key-is-to-stay/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [To listen to the silence, wherever you are, is an easy and direct way of becoming present. Even if there is noise, there is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eckhart-tolle/to-listen-to-the-silence-wherever-you-are-is-an-easy-and-direct-way/) [Eckhart Tolle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eckhart-tolle/) > [“Listening and silence are not necessarily the same thing, but silence is a really good start.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-s-mchugh/listening-and-silence-are-not-necessarily-the-same-thing-but-silence/) [Adam S. McHugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-s-mchugh/) > [I saw old autumn in the misty morn Stand shadowless like silence, listening To silence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-hood/i-saw-old-autumn-in-the-misty-morn-stand-shadowless-like-silence/) [Thomas Hood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-hood/) > [“... listening to the silence together. If there’s any. I truly believe not so. I have never heard a silence. Have you? The world…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-jae/listening-to-the-silence-together-if-there-s-any-i-truly-believe-not/) [Anna Jae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-jae/) ## More by Nicole Krauss > [“Narrative cannot sustain formlessness any more than light can sustain darkness - it is the antithesis of formlessness, and so it can never truly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/narrative-cannot-sustain-formlessness-any-more-than-light-can-sustain/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [I think of novels as houses. You live in them over the course of a long period, both as a reader and as a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/i-think-of-novels-as-houses-you-live-in-them-over-the-course-of-a/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [When we went into the ocean, I watched his body as he dove into the waves, and it gave me a feeling in my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/when-we-went-into-the-ocean-i-watched-his-body-as-he-dove-into-the/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“There are times when the kindness of strangers only makes matter worse because one realizes how badly one is in need of kindness and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/there-are-times-when-the-kindness-of-strangers-only-makes-matter/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [She was gone, and all that was left was the space where you'd grown around her, like a tree that grows around a fence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/she-was-gone-and-all-that-was-left-was-the-space-where-you-d-grown/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“The air felt different in my lungs. The world no longer looked the same. You change and then you change again. You become a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/the-air-felt-different-in-my-lungs-the-world-no-longer-looked-the/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“The first language humans had was gestures. There was nothing primitive about this language that flowed from people’s hands, nothing we say now that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/the-first-language-humans-had-was-gestures-there-was-nothing/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [I feel really strongly about not wanting to overly guide the reader about what he or she should think. I really trust the reader…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/i-feel-really-strongly-about-not-wanting-to-overly-guide-the-reader/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [Mom?" I said. She turned. "Can I talk to you about something?" "Of course, darling. Come here." I took a few steps into the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/mom-i-said-she-turned-can-i-talk-to-you-about-something-of-course/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [In one's youth, one has tremendous access to one's feelings. And as one gets older, some of those feelings kind of drift away. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/in-one-s-youth-one-has-tremendous-access-to-one-s-feelings-and-as-one/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [Obviously I've been reading Kafka for a long long time, since I was really young, and even before I ever read him I knew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/obviously-i-ve-been-reading-kafka-for-a-long-long-time-since-i-was/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“She's kept her love for him as alive as the summer they first met. In order to do this, she's turned life away. Sometimes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/she-s-kept-her-love-for-him-as-alive-as-the-summer-they-first-met-in/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [Sometimes no length of string is long enough to say the thing that needs to be said. In such cases all the string can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/sometimes-no-length-of-string-is-long-enough-to-say-the-thing-that/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“Doesn’t part of the awe that fills us when we confront the unknown come from understanding that, should it at last flood into us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/doesn-t-part-of-the-awe-that-fills-us-when-we-confront-the-unknown/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [“I knew how to raise my own child, what did he think it was, a game of Scrabble or Monopoly, there are no rules,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/i-knew-how-to-raise-my-own-child-what-did-he-think-it-was-a-game-of/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) [Explore all 323 Nicole Krauss quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) ## More Divorce quotes > [Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me-so different…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audre-lorde/every-woman-i-have-ever-loved-has-left-her-print-upon-me-where-i/) [Audre Lorde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audre-lorde/) > [I had a pretty public divorce. They're not easy - divorces - and it took me a long time to really get through.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nas/i-had-a-pretty-public-divorce-they-re-not-easy-divorces-and-it-took/) [Nas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nas/) > [Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/divorce-isn-t-such-a-tragedy-a-tragedy-s-staying-in-an-unhappy/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [If I told my wife I was going to become a manager she'd say 'sign this then. Don't worry it's only a divorce. Au…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-ginola/if-i-told-my-wife-i-was-going-to-become-a-manager-she-d-say-sign-this/) [David Ginola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-ginola/) > [It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-jeni/it-is-a-sad-fact-that-50-percent-of-marriages-in-this-country-end-in/) [Richard Jeni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-jeni/) > [“Jesus and Paul knew the Old Testament completely. Their comments about divorce were meant to add to, not replace or change, what was already…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-abbott/jesus-and-paul-knew-the-old-testament-completely-their-comments-about/) [Caroline Abbott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-abbott/) > [Everyone knows that when you go through a divorce, it's a really difficult time for both parties and you've all - you believe, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-mills/everyone-knows-that-when-you-go-through-a-divorce-it-s-a-really/) [Heather Mills](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-mills/) > [Those who divorce aren't necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/those-who-divorce-aren-t-necessarily-the-most-unhappy-just-those/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [I've been through hell. It's hard to think you have this life, and then all of a sudden - was it a lie? You're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elin-nordegren/i-ve-been-through-hell-it-s-hard-to-think-you-have-this-life-and-then/) [Elin Nordegren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elin-nordegren/) > [Divorce is so common and accepted in America that beating myself up over it may sound ridiculous. But I was raised to believe that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trisha-yearwood/divorce-is-so-common-and-accepted-in-america-that-beating-myself-up/) [Trisha Yearwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trisha-yearwood/) > [“Separation isn’t time or distance it’s the bridge between us finer than silk thread sharper than swords”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naz-m-hikmet/separation-isn-t-time-or-distance-it-s-the-bridge-between-us-finer/) [Nazım Hikmet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naz-m-hikmet/) > [“It’s a fallacy that this generation does not know how to love as its predecessor did. Truth of the matter is, modern love is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lebo-grand/it-s-a-fallacy-that-this-generation-does-not-know-how-to-love-as-its/) [Lebo Grand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lebo-grand/) > [“To keep myself from harming or calling N and to stave off the rage and despair, I focus on my extraordinary son, drink midrange…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-finnamore/to-keep-myself-from-harming-or-calling-n-and-to-stave-off-the-rage/) [Suzanne Finnamore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-finnamore/) > [“There are some who said I should have fought harder or longer than I did for my marriage, but in the end fighting for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-mclain/there-are-some-who-said-i-should-have-fought-harder-or-longer-than-i/) [Paula McLain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-mclain/) > [“For me, it´s sloth," I say. "Hedonistic sloth and escapism.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-finnamore/for-me-it-s-sloth-i-say-hedonistic-sloth-and-escapism/) [Suzanne Finnamore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-finnamore/) [Browse all 2,051 Divorce quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorce/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“He went on for some time while I sat listening in silence because I knew he was right, and like two people who have loved each other however imperfectly, who have tried to make a life together, however imperfectly, who have lived side by side and watched the wrinkles slowly form at the corner of the other's eyes, and watched a little drop of gray, as if poured from a jug, drop into the other's skin and spread itself evenly, listening to the other's coughs and sneezes and little collected mumblings, like two people who'd had one idea together and slowly allowed that idea to be replaced with two separate, less hopeful, less ambitious ideas, we spoke deep into the night, and the next day, and the next night. For forty days and forty nights, I want to say, but the fact of the matter is it only took three. One of us had loved the other more perfectly, had watched the other more closely, and one of us listened and the other hadn't, and one of us held on to the ambition of the one idea far longer than was reasonable, whereas the other, passing a garbage can one night, had casually thrown it away.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Nicole Krauss" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-listening-in-silence-because-i/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Divorce" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-listening-in-silence-because-i/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/239/nicole-krauss-920_divorce_he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-lis_3211080.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/239/nicole-krauss-920_divorce_he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-lis_3211080.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/239/nicole-krauss-920_divorce_he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-lis_3211080.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“He went on for some time while I sat listening in silence because I knew he was right, and like two people…” — Nicole Krauss", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Nicole Krauss", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“He went on for some time...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-listening-in-silence-because-i/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/he-went-on-for-some-time-while-i-sat-listening-in-silence-because-i/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```