--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?\"…" description: "\"“You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?\" Seeing someone else? How on earth could that explain any of this? Why would seeing someone else necessitate b..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/557/nick-hornby-325_betrayal_you-re-seeing-someone-else-aren-t-you-se_1623339.png" --- # You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?" Seeing someone… ![“You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?" Seeing someone else? How on earth could that explain any of this? Why would seeing someone else necessitate bringing home a middle­-aged woman, a teenaged punk and an American with a leather jacket and a Rod Stewart haircut? What would the story have been?…” quote by Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/557/nick-hornby-325_betrayal_you-re-seeing-someone-else-aren-t-you-se_1623339.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/557/nick-hornby-325_betrayal_you-re-seeing-someone-else-aren-t-you-se_1623339.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/557/nick-hornby-325_betrayal_you-re-seeing-someone-else-aren-t-you-se_1623339.png) > ““You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?" Seeing someone else? How on earth could that explain any of this? Why would seeing someone else necessitate bringing home a middle­-aged woman, a teenaged punk and an American with a leather jacket and a Rod Stewart haircut? What would the story have been? But then, after reflection, I realised that Penny had probably been here before, and therefore knew that infidelity can usually provide the answer to any domestic mystery. If I had walked in with Sheena Easton and Donald Rumsfeld, Penny would probably have scratched her head for a few seconds before saying exactly the same thing. In other circumstances, on other evenings, it would have been the right conclusion, too; I used to be pretty resourceful when I was being unfaithful to Cindy, even if I do say so myself. I once drove a new BMW into a wall, simply because I needed to explain a four­-hour delay in getting home from work. Cindy came out into the street to inspect the crumpled bonnet, looked at me, and said, “You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?” I denied it, of course. But then, anything – smashing up a new car, persuading Donald Rumsfeld to come to an Islington flat in the early hours of New Year’s Day – is easier than actually telling the truth. That look you get, the look which lets you see right through the eyes and down into the place where she keeps all the hurt and the rage and the loathing... Who wouldn’t go that extra yard to avoid it?”” [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The passage sat how people create elaborate lies to avoid confronting painful truths, especially in relationships. **In simple terms:** People often lie to dodge truth. Key Takeaway Avoid honesty leads to more complications. Themes deception relationships self‑preservation avoidance Mood reflective ironic Type literary psychological When to use this quote - marital conflict - infidelity - cover‑ups - personal accountability Key Concepts cognitive dissonance psychological defense social pressure Questions to Reflect On - Why do we choose lies over truth? - What are the costs of deception? A Different Perspective It may overgeneralize the tendency to lie. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Betrayal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayal/) [Cheating](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cheating/) [Getting Home](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/getting-home/) [Home From Work](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/home-from-work/) [Humor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/) [Middle aged](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/middle-aged/) [Nature](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nature/) [New car](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/new-car/) [New Year'S Day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/new-year-s-day/) [Telling the truth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/telling-the-truth/) ## Related quotes > [“When children of any age learn of a parent’s infidelity, they usually find it extremely difficult—if not impossible— to trust that someone they love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ana-nogales/when-children-of-any-age-learn-of-a-parent-s-infidelity-they-usually/) [Ana Nogales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ana-nogales/) > [“He said that seeing and understanding are two different things. Our eyes show us one side of an object, but that doesn’t mean there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-khoury/he-said-that-seeing-and-understanding-are-two-different-things-our/) [Jessica Khoury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-khoury/) > [“YOU KNOW WHEN YOU SAID THAT SEEING ME GAVE YOU QUITE A START?" "Yes?" "I GAVE YOU QUITE A STOP.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-know-when-you-said-that-seeing-me-gave-you-quite-a-start-yes-i/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [I'm coming back to what you said about seeing and listening and hearing. I had to think of a remark that I heard yesterday,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfred-brendel/i-m-coming-back-to-what-you-said-about-seeing-and-listening-and/) [Alfred Brendel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfred-brendel/) > [“The world hid its head in the sands of convention, so that seeing nothing it might avoid Truth. It said to itself: 'If seeing's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/radclyffe-hall/the-world-hid-its-head-in-the-sands-of-convention-so-that-seeing/) [Radclyffe Hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/radclyffe-hall/) > [He said even if it's too cloudy to see, the sun will still rise, it will still be there. "But that's the whole point,"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-spinelli/he-said-even-if-it-s-too-cloudy-to-see-the-sun-will-still-rise-it/) [Jerry Spinelli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-spinelli/) > [“so deep, “you could have brought the whole of ExxonMobil out there and they wouldn’t have been able to operate that thing worth a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-coll/so-deep-you-could-have-brought-the-whole-of-exxonmobil-out-there-and/) [Steve Coll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-coll/) > [The Chavez-Obama pictures will join a postmodern photo array that includes Donald Rumsfeld gifting Saddam Hussein with spurs from President Reagan.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-pelosi/the-chavez-obama-pictures-will-join-a-postmodern-photo-array-that/) [Christine Pelosi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-pelosi/) > [Some international relations scholars would posit that interest in zombies is an indirect attempt to get a cognitive grip on what U.S. Secretary of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-drezner/some-international-relations-scholars-would-posit-that-interest-in/) Daniel Drezner > [As a former secretary of defense, I think Donald Rumsfeld is the best secretary of defense the United States has ever had.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dick-cheney/as-a-former-secretary-of-defense-i-think-donald-rumsfeld-is-the-best/) [Dick Cheney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dick-cheney/) > [According to CNN, Donald Rumsfeld said the war in Iraq did not go according to plan. And President Bush said, 'What? We had a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/according-to-cnn-donald-rumsfeld-said-the-war-in-iraq-did-not-go/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) > [President Bush cruelly manipulated the grief of the American people - and the sympathy of the rest of the world - to introduce a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-fisk/president-bush-cruelly-manipulated-the-grief-of-the-american-people/) [Robert Fisk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-fisk/) > [Afghanistan would have been difficult enough without Iraq. Iraq made it impossible. The argument that had we just focused on Afghanistan we'd now be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-hastings/afghanistan-would-have-been-difficult-enough-without-iraq-iraq-made/) [Michael Hastings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-hastings/) > [“I think you can be an enemy of Saddam Hussein even if Donald Rumsfeld is also an enemy of Saddam Hussein.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-michnik/i-think-you-can-be-an-enemy-of-saddam-hussein-even-if-donald-rumsfeld/) [Adam Michnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-michnik/) > [At a meeting in her office in the late summer of 2002, months before the war in Iraq, prisoner abuse at Guantanamo is discussed.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seymour-hersh/at-a-meeting-in-her-office-in-the-late-summer-of-2002-months-before/) [Seymour Hersh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seymour-hersh/) ## More by Nick Hornby > [You can wait forever for the muse to sit on your shoulder, but most of the time you know what has to be done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/you-can-wait-forever-for-the-muse-to-sit-on-your-shoulder-but-most-of/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > […I've had a bad week." What's happened?" Nothing's happened. I've had a bad week in my head, is all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/i-ve-had-a-bad-week-what-s-happened-nothing-s-happened-i-ve-had-a-bad/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [“When they – I cannot bring myself to use the first-person plural in this instance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/when-they-i-cannot-bring-myself-to-use-the-first-person-plural-in/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [“What you don't ever catch a glimpse of on your wedding day - because how could you? - is that some days you will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/what-you-don-t-ever-catch-a-glimpse-of-on-your-wedding-day-because/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [A good compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You've got to kick off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/a-good-compilation-tape-like-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do-and-takes-ages/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [I'm still not a very good white wine, but I'm drinkable - you could put me in a punch, anyway.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/i-m-still-not-a-very-good-white-wine-but-i-m-drinkable-you-could-put/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [I never mind the accusations of domesticity, as long as people recognise that all of us, even the luckiest, will live lives in which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/i-never-mind-the-accusations-of-domesticity-as-long-as-people/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [I wasted the 1980s. I wasted every minute at Cambridge talking to people who knew more about music than I did.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/i-wasted-the-1980s-i-wasted-every-minute-at-cambridge-talking-to/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [“I took her outside on to a little roof terrace that looked like it never got the sun at nay time of the day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/i-took-her-outside-on-to-a-little-roof-terrace-that-looked-like-it/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [“I feel as though I have been having conversations like this all my life. None of us is young anymore, but what has just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/i-feel-as-though-i-have-been-having-conversations-like-this-all-my/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [“I'm OK. Really. I can find people. I'll be all right.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/i-m-ok-really-i-can-find-people-i-ll-be-all-right/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [“Read any women's magazine and you'll see the same complaint over and over again: men - those little boys ten or twenty or thirty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/read-any-women-s-magazine-and-you-ll-see-the-same-complaint-over-and/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [“Defansçılar her zaman forvetçilerden daha iyi analizcilerdir.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/defans-lar-her-zaman-forvet-ilerden-daha-iyi-analizcilerdir/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [On New Year's Eve he ould make a resolution to recover some his previous scepticism, but until then he would do as the Romans…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/on-new-year-s-eve-he-ould-make-a-resolution-to-recover-some-his/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [It's no good looking to writers for definitions of what constitutes proper writing, because you will drive yourself crazy, and you won't find anything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/it-s-no-good-looking-to-writers-for-definitions-of-what-constitutes/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) [Explore all 645 Nick Hornby quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) ## More Betrayal quotes > [“That's the catch about betrayal, of course: that it feels good, that there's something immensely pleasurable about moving from a complicated relationship which involves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/that-s-the-catch-about-betrayal-of-course-that-it-feels-good-that/) [Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/) > [God’s faithfulness is stronger than our unfaithfulness and our infidelities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/god-s-faithfulness-is-stronger-than-our-unfaithfulness-and-our/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [“Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-auliq-ice/flattery-looks-like-friendship-just-like-a-wolf-looks-like-a-dog/) [Oscar Auliq-Ice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-auliq-ice/) > [There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/km-ii/there-is-no-deceit-in-death-it-delivers-precisely-what-it-has/) [KM II](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/km-ii/) > [If you leave someone for another person, don't be surprised if that person leaves you for someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-leave-someone-for-another-person-don-t-be-surprised-if-that/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“As they say in New York, Get over it and, if you can't get over it, Get over talking about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/as-they-say-in-new-york-get-over-it-and-if-you-can-t-get-over-it-get/) [Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/) > [“He returned her gaze, yearning for sentimental solace; love which emanated from a familiar source, mattered little how bedevilling. They shared an intimate moment,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-h-septimius/he-returned-her-gaze-yearning-for-sentimental-solace-love-which/) [A. H. Septimius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-h-septimius/) > [I was always here for you,you knew you could count on me and trust me blindly, and you knew that I would never tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-hayssus/i-was-always-here-for-you-you-knew-you-could-count-on-me-and-trust-me/) [Michael Hayssus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-hayssus/) > [Joy doesn't betray but sustains activism. And when you face a politics that aspires to make you fearful, alienated and isolated, joy is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-solnit/joy-doesn-t-betray-but-sustains-activism-and-when-you-face-a-politics/) [Rebecca Solnit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-solnit/) > [“Betrayal and love are not mutually exclusive." (Mordred)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldous-mercer/betrayal-and-love-are-not-mutually-exclusive-mordred/) [Aldous Mercer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldous-mercer/) > [Love comes exactly... To those who still hope, even though they've been disappointed. To those who still believe, even though they've been betrayed and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mizhan/love-comes-exactly-to-those-who-still-hope-even-though-they-ve-been/) [Mizhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mizhan/) > [For some people, a one-night stand doesn't make any difference in a seven-year love affair. I don't believe the degree of betrayal is always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/for-some-people-a-one-night-stand-doesn-t-make-any-difference-in-a/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [Betrayal is a serious thing in this world,you know what else is serious? Being lied to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sabrina/betrayal-is-a-serious-thing-in-this-world-you-know-what-else-is/) [Sabrina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sabrina/) > [The greatest temptation for the like of us is: to renounce violence, to repent, to make peace with oneself. Most revolutionaries fell before this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-koestler/the-greatest-temptation-for-the-like-of-us-is-to-renounce-violence-to/) [Arthur Koestler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-koestler/) > [“Sarai, you never know who might betray you until it’s too late.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-a-redmerski/sarai-you-never-know-who-might-betray-you-until-it-s-too-late/) [J.A. Redmerski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-a-redmerski/) [Browse all 2,050 Betrayal quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayal/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?\" Seeing someone else? How on earth could that explain any of this? Why would seeing someone else necessitate bringing home a middle­-aged woman, a teenaged punk and an American with a leather jacket and a Rod Stewart haircut? What would the story have been? But then, after reflection, I realised that Penny had probably been here before, and therefore knew that infidelity can usually provide the answer to any domestic mystery. If I had walked in with Sheena Easton and Donald Rumsfeld, Penny would probably have scratched her head for a few seconds before saying exactly the same thing. In other circumstances, on other evenings, it would have been the right conclusion, too; I used to be pretty resourceful when I was being unfaithful to Cindy, even if I do say so myself. I once drove a new BMW into a wall, simply because I needed to explain a four­-hour delay in getting home from work. Cindy came out into the street to inspect the crumpled bonnet, looked at me, and said, “You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?” I denied it, of course. But then, anything – smashing up a new car, persuading Donald Rumsfeld to come to an Islington flat in the early hours of New Year’s Day – is easier than actually telling the truth. That look you get, the look which lets you see right through the eyes and down into the place where she keeps all the hurt and the rage and the loathing... 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