--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: One of the things I learned when I was…" description: "\"One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others.\" — Nelson Mandela" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a8/nelson-mandela-248_change_one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-n_2843899.jpg" --- # One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was… ![“One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others.” quote by Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a8/nelson-mandela-248_change_one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-n_2843899.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a8/nelson-mandela-248_change_one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-n_2843899.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a8/nelson-mandela-248_change_one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-n_2843899.jpg) > “One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others.” [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Personal change is a prerequisite for influencing others effectively. **In simple terms:** You must change yourself before you can change others. Key Takeaway Focus on self‑improvement to lead others. Themes leadership self‑growth influence Mood inspirational thoughtful Type philosophical motivational When to use this quote - team management - conflict resolution - social activism Key Concepts psychology behavioral change empathy Questions to Reflect On - What personal habits limit your impact? - How can you model change for others? A Different Perspective Changing oneself is difficult and may not guarantee influence. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/) [Inspiring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inspiring/) [Leadership](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/leadership/) ## Related quotes > [As a mother of four, I feel like I've naturally learned the negotiating skills to bring some win-win results.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/young-kim/as-a-mother-of-four-i-feel-like-i-ve-naturally-learned-the/) [Young Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/young-kim/) > [If you are negotiating you must do so in a spirit of reconciliation, not from the point of view of issuing ultimatums.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/if-you-are-negotiating-you-must-do-so-in-a-spirit-of-reconciliation/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [When a man is denied the right to live the life he believes in, he has no choice but to become an outlaw.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/when-a-man-is-denied-the-right-to-live-the-life-he-believes-in-he-has/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [Your victory has demonstrated that no person anywhere in the world should not dare to dream of wanting to change the world for a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/your-victory-has-demonstrated-that-no-person-anywhere-in-the-world/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [Success in politics demands that you must take your people into confidence about your views and state them very clearly, very politely, very calmly,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/success-in-politics-demands-that-you-must-take-your-people-into/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/do-not-judge-me-by-my-success-judge-me-by-how-many-times-i-fell-down/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [Freedom is indivisible; the chains on any one of my people were the chains on all of them, the chains on all of my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/freedom-is-indivisible-the-chains-on-any-one-of-my-people-were-the/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/during-my-lifetime-i-have-dedicated-myself-to-this-struggle-of-the/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [Deborah Rodriguez went to Afghanistan to transform her own life and ended up revolutionizing the lives of many of her Afghan sisters. This book…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/masha-hamilton/deborah-rodriguez-went-to-afghanistan-to-transform-her-own-life-and/) [Masha Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/masha-hamilton/) > [If you don't allow people to contribute, to offer their point of view, or to criticize what has been put before them, then they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/if-you-don-t-allow-people-to-contribute-to-offer-their-point-of-view/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [As a leader... I have always endeavored to listen to what each and every person in a discussion had to say before venturing my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/as-a-leader-i-have-always-endeavored-to-listen-to-what-each-and-every/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [Donald Trump so far is sending a signal that he's going to run the government like his business and maybe that's going to work.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-o-reilly/donald-trump-so-far-is-sending-a-signal-that-he-s-going-to-run-the/) [Bill O'Reilly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-o-reilly/) > [Beyond that is the fear that the United States will end up negotiating and agreeing to a deal with Iran. The Israelis do not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trita-parsi/beyond-that-is-the-fear-that-the-united-states-will-end-up/) [Trita Parsi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trita-parsi/) > [I'm less concerned about whether being a good corporate citizen burnishes a company's reputation. That's just an added benefit. I believe it's a responsibility,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ursula-burns/i-m-less-concerned-about-whether-being-a-good-corporate-citizen/) [Ursula Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ursula-burns/) > [ When the fountains of government \[borrowing\] abundance began to dry up, when through lack of funds and the impossibility of negotiating fresh loans the… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-t-flynn/when-the-fountains-of-government-borrowing-abundance-began-to-dry-up/) [John T. Flynn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-t-flynn/) ## More by Nelson Mandela > [We must work together to ensure the equitable distribution of wealth, opportunity and power in our society.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/we-must-work-together-to-ensure-the-equitable-distribution-of-wealth/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [Especially for those of us who lived in single cells, you had the time to sit down and think, and we discovered that sitting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/especially-for-those-of-us-who-lived-in-single-cells-you-had-the-time/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [If you don't allow people to contribute, to offer their point of view, or to criticize what has been put before them, then they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/if-you-don-t-allow-people-to-contribute-to-offer-their-point-of-view/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [Courageous people do not fear forgiving, for the sake of peace.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/courageous-people-do-not-fear-forgiving-for-the-sake-of-peace/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [As a leader... I have always endeavored to listen to what each and every person in a discussion had to say before venturing my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/as-a-leader-i-have-always-endeavored-to-listen-to-what-each-and-every/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [Some of the mission groups that have been responsible for our education have not been part of the government. In fact, they acted contrary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/some-of-the-mission-groups-that-have-been-responsible-for-our/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [“I believed that I would become a counsellor to the Thembu king,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/i-believed-that-i-would-become-a-counsellor-to-the-thembu-king/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [What he means by this is that instead of saying you'll "try", you need to "do". And as we let our light shine, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/what-he-means-by-this-is-that-instead-of-saying-you-ll-try-you-need/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/i-learned-that-courage-was-not-the-absence-of-fear-but-the-triumph/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [We need to exert ourselves that much more, and break out of the vicious cycle of dependence imposed on us by the financially powerful:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/we-need-to-exert-ourselves-that-much-more-and-break-out-of-the/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [“Prison is a still point in a turning world, and it is very easy to remain in the same place in jail while the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/prison-is-a-still-point-in-a-turning-world-and-it-is-very-easy-to/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [A fundamental concern for others in our individual and community lives would go a long way in making the world the better place we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/a-fundamental-concern-for-others-in-our-individual-and-community/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [I am aware of what the position is in the United States of America. If somebody gives to charity, then he gets a tax…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/i-am-aware-of-what-the-position-is-in-the-united-states-of-america-if/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [It is our duty to give support to the brother leader ... especially in regards to the sanctions which are not hitting just him,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/it-is-our-duty-to-give-support-to-the-brother-leader-especially-in/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [It was during those long and lonely years that my hunger for the freedom of our own people became a hunger for the freedom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/it-was-during-those-long-and-lonely-years-that-my-hunger-for-the/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) [Explore all 809 Nelson Mandela quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) ## More Change quotes > [Only within yourself exists the other reality for which you long. I can give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/only-within-yourself-exists-the-other-reality-for-which-you-long-i/) [Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/) > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I can't believe that I'm sitting in meetings with Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, and Annette Bening. I want to take on that responsibility to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/i-can-t-believe-that-i-m-sitting-in-meetings-with-steven-spielberg/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [“…progress isn't necessarily about change but about things turning out as we want them to”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-hogan/progress-isn-t-necessarily-about-change-but-about-things-turning-out/) Phil Hogan > [Nobody can tell me that no changes are necessary in Washington.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-weld/nobody-can-tell-me-that-no-changes-are-necessary-in-washington/) [William Weld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-weld/) > [If my campaign is not in the debate, we will not be talking about how we really fix this problem of endless and expanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-stein/if-my-campaign-is-not-in-the-debate-we-will-not-be-talking-about-how/) [Jill Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-stein/) > [When you walk down the street of Kabul your values for life changes, they do change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marco-pierre-white/when-you-walk-down-the-street-of-kabul-your-values-for-life-changes/) [Marco Pierre White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marco-pierre-white/) > [Your world will change whether or not you choose to change, but you have the power to choose it's direction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/your-world-will-change-whether-or-not-you-choose-to-change-but-you/) [Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/) > [I hope I continue to evolve.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-flair/i-hope-i-continue-to-evolve/) [Charlotte Flair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-flair/) > [“Stay focused on bringing people together and more on positive messaging so that you can be the change you wish to see in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germany-kent/stay-focused-on-bringing-people-together-and-more-on-positive/) [Germany Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germany-kent/) > [The biggest change for me as a mom was realizing I needed to put someone else before me. Now the hardest part about the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-alexis/the-biggest-change-for-me-as-a-mom-was-realizing-i-needed-to-put/) [Kim Alexis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-alexis/) > [“After the funeral, my life changed. I felt as if time were suddenly precious, water going down an open drain, and I could not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/after-the-funeral-my-life-changed-i-felt-as-if-time-were-suddenly/) [Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/) > [You practice mindfulness, on the one hand, to be calm and peaceful. On the other hand, as you practice mindfulness and live a life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-practice-mindfulness-on-the-one-hand-to-be-calm-and-peaceful-on/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Irish research will contribute to global progress and have the potential to help all countries realise the potential of their land sectors in addressing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enda-kenny/irish-research-will-contribute-to-global-progress-and-have-the/) [Enda Kenny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/enda-kenny/) > [No man can change himself into anything from sheer reason; he can only change into what he potentially is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-jung/no-man-can-change-himself-into-anything-from-sheer-reason-he-can-only/) [Carl Jung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-jung/) [Browse all 33,920 Change quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Nelson Mandela" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-negotiating-was-that-until-i/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Change" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-negotiating-was-that-until-i/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a8/nelson-mandela-248_change_one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-n_2843899.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a8/nelson-mandela-248_change_one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-n_2843899.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a8/nelson-mandela-248_change_one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-n_2843899.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others.” — Nelson Mandela", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Nelson Mandela", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "One of the things I learned...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-negotiating-was-that-until-i/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/one-of-the-things-i-learned-when-i-was-negotiating-was-that-until-i/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```