--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: ... you sometimes had to force people to…" description: "\"“... you sometimes had to force people to say things they would rather not articulate, just so they could hear their own words. It was interesting the ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/662/nell-freudenberger-24627_denial_you-sometimes-had-to-force-people-to-say_1999142.jpg" --- # ... you sometimes had to force people to say things they… ![“... you sometimes had to force people to say things they would rather not articulate, just so they could hear their own words. It was interesting the way people could know things and not know them at the same time. Denial, he said, was like a thick stone wall.” quote by Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/662/nell-freudenberger-24627_denial_you-sometimes-had-to-force-people-to-say_1999142.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/662/nell-freudenberger-24627_denial_you-sometimes-had-to-force-people-to-say_1999142.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/662/nell-freudenberger-24627_denial_you-sometimes-had-to-force-people-to-say_1999142.jpg) > ““... you sometimes had to force people to say things they would rather not articulate, just so they could hear their own words. It was interesting the way people could know things and not know them at the same time. Denial, he said, was like a thick stone wall.”” [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People often need external prompts to articulate hidden thoughts; denial acts like an impermeable barrier to self‑recognition. **In simple terms:** You may need help hearing your own truth; denial blocks it. Key Takeaway Seek honest dialogue to break denial. Themes self‑awareness communication psychology Mood thoughtful analytical Type advice psychological When to use this quote - therapy sessions - team meetings - personal reflection - conflict resolution Key Concepts defense mechanisms cognitive dissonance Questions to Reflect On - How can you create safe spaces for truth? - What signals indicate someone is in denial? A Different Perspective Denial can be deeply entrenched, making honest conversation painful. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Denial](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/denial/) [Denial Said](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/denial-said-3506866/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Knowing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knowing/) [People say](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people-say/) [Repression](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/repression/) [Say Things](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/say-things/) [Society-denial](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/society-denial/) [Things Articulate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/things-articulate-3506867/) ## Related quotes > [Good art provides people with a vocabulary about things they can't articulate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mos-def/good-art-provides-people-with-a-vocabulary-about-things-they-can-t/) [Mos Def](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mos-def/) > [“In the absence of strong political movements for human rights, the active process of bearing witness inevitably gives way to the active process of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-lewis-herman/in-the-absence-of-strong-political-movements-for-human-rights-the/) [Judith Lewis Herman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-lewis-herman/) > [“Treating Abuse Today 3(4) pp. 26-33 Freyd: The term "multiple personality" itself assumes that there is "single personality" and there is evidence that no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-l-calof/treating-abuse-today-3-4-pp-26-33-freyd-the-term-multiple-personality/) [David L. Calof](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-l-calof/) > [“Treating Abuse Today (Tat), 3(4), pp. 26-33 Freyd: I see what you're saying but people in psychology don't have a uniform agreement on this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-l-calof/treating-abuse-today-tat-3-4-pp-26-33-freyd-i-see-what-you-re-saying/) [David L. Calof](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-l-calof/) > [“There is a much greater skepticism toward the memories of those who claim abuse than toward the memories of those who deny it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-campbell/there-is-a-much-greater-skepticism-toward-the-memories-of-those-who/) [Sue Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-campbell/) > [“It was that culture of denial that allowed my abuse to take place to start with. Did you know that it wasn't until 1984…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-spring/it-was-that-culture-of-denial-that-allowed-my-abuse-to-take-place-to/) [Carolyn Spring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-spring/) > [“Another preoccupation fed into this dynamic relationship between discovery and denial: does sexual abuse actually matter? Should it, in fact, be allowed? After all,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beatrix-campbell/another-preoccupation-fed-into-this-dynamic-relationship-between/) [Beatrix Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beatrix-campbell/) > [“society has an embarrassing history of denial”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-spring/society-has-an-embarrassing-history-of-denial/) [Carolyn Spring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-spring/) > [“All abusive systems are facilitated by bystanders, whose awareness of what is disavowed is always partial, resulting in a state of knowing and not-knowing.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-solinski/all-abusive-systems-are-facilitated-by-bystanders-whose-awareness-of/) [Sylvia Solinski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-solinski/) > [“Both incest and the Holocaust have been subject to furious denial by perpetrators and other individuals and by highly organised groups such as the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-walker/both-incest-and-the-holocaust-have-been-subject-to-furious-denial-by/) [Janet Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-walker/) > [“In 2011, actor Johnny Depp told the November issue of Vanity Fair that he felt participating in a photoshoot was akin to rape. "Well,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-elsworth/in-2011-actor-johnny-depp-told-the-november-issue-of-vanity-fair-that/) [Emma Elsworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-elsworth/) > [“As the incidence and fear of rape on college campuses have increased, the term rape has been generalized to mean 'misuse; diminish the effects…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/connie-c-eble/as-the-incidence-and-fear-of-rape-on-college-campuses-have-increased/) [Connie C. Eble](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/connie-c-eble/) > [“DENIAL Defense mechanism in which the existence of unpleasant realities is disavowed; refers to keeping out of conscious awareness any aspects of external reality…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-sadock/denial-defense-mechanism-in-which-the-existence-of-unpleasant/) [Benjamin Sadock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-sadock/) > [“Some readers may find it a curious or even unscientific endeavour to craft a criminological model of organised abuse based on the testimony of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/some-readers-may-find-it-a-curious-or-even-unscientific-endeavour-to/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [“There have been extensive human rights violations by American psychiatrists over the last 70 years. These doctors were pad by the American taxpayer through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-a-ross/there-have-been-extensive-human-rights-violations-by-american/) [Colin A. Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-a-ross/) ## More by Nell Freudenberger > [I can't listen to music when I'm writing. I like music best in a car or on the train.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/i-can-t-listen-to-music-when-i-m-writing-i-like-music-best-in-a-car/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [It's usually easier for me to begin writing in a character's voice if that person is different from me in some significant way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/it-s-usually-easier-for-me-to-begin-writing-in-a-character-s-voice-if/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [“Relationships were never equivalent: that was why it was so hard to find permanent ones. When two people depended on each other, they each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/relationships-were-never-equivalent-that-was-why-it-was-so-hard-to/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [In America you make your plans and then they happen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/in-america-you-make-your-plans-and-then-they-happen/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [“Men she thought, could make a clean break with a woman, could leave in the way Parveen's husband had. Or could even be left,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/men-she-thought-could-make-a-clean-break-with-a-woman-could-leave-in/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [“It seemed incredible that it could be the same road, the same asphalt, that they had traveled so many times together. You thought that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/it-seemed-incredible-that-it-could-be-the-same-road-the-same-asphalt/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [“He didn't understand how sadness came so easily to people. For him it was like a pile of rocks that had to be moved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/he-didn-t-understand-how-sadness-came-so-easily-to-people-for-him-it/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [I think the few writers who influenced me most in writing short stories are Alice Munro and Grace Paley. They're very different, and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/i-think-the-few-writers-who-influenced-me-most-in-writing-short/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [Research for fiction is a funny thing: you go looking for one piece of information, and find something altogether different.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/research-for-fiction-is-a-funny-thing-you-go-looking-for-one-piece-of/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [I think that the practice of writing every day was what made me remember that writing doesn't have anything to do with publishing books.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/i-think-that-the-practice-of-writing-every-day-was-what-made-me/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [Novels shouldn’t aspire to answer questions, and I wouldn’t presume to offer advice about love or marriage in any case. What’s fascinating to me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/novels-shouldn-t-aspire-to-answer-questions-and-i-wouldn-t-presume-to/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [Alice Munro is a particular kind of short story writer in that she writes long, character-driven short stories.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/alice-munro-is-a-particular-kind-of-short-story-writer-in-that-she/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [“We complain and complain in the villages, and then take us out and it's all we can talk about." "Aren't people that way everywhere:"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/we-complain-and-complain-in-the-villages-and-then-take-us-out-and-it/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [You thought that you were the permanent part of your own experience, the net that held it all together - until you discovered that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/you-thought-that-you-were-the-permanent-part-of-your-own-experience/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) > [I've always been a little bit more of a novel reader than a short story reader. I think the first books that made me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nell-freudenberger/i-ve-always-been-a-little-bit-more-of-a-novel-reader-than-a-short/) [Nell Freudenberger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) [Explore all 24 Nell Freudenberger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nell-freudenberger/) ## More Denial quotes > [Because after you've crossed some lines, you just keep crossing them. And there's no escaping from constant escape. Distracting ourselves. Avoiding confrontation. Getting past…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/because-after-you-ve-crossed-some-lines-you-just-keep-crossing-them/) [Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/) > [A mistake doesnt make you a fool, but denying it surely makes you one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/a-mistake-doesnt-make-you-a-fool-but-denying-it-surely-makes-you-one/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [It is through suppression that hells are formed in us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-glaspell/it-is-through-suppression-that-hells-are-formed-in-us/) [Susan Glaspell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-glaspell/) > [Atheist’s denial of God’s existence needs just as much substantiation as does the theist’s claim; the atheist must give plausible reasons for rejecting God’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-copan/atheist-s-denial-of-god-s-existence-needs-just-as-much-substantiation/) [Paul Copan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-copan/) > [But we need to be very clear: because of our decades of collective denial, no gradual, incremental options are now available to us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomi-klein/but-we-need-to-be-very-clear-because-of-our-decades-of-collective/) [Naomi Klein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomi-klein/) > [What you try to bury just ends up burying you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-wagner/what-you-try-to-bury-just-ends-up-burying-you/) [Jane Wagner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-wagner/) > [Its up to any government to decide how to react to the denial of basic human rights anywhere in the world, including Egypt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohamed-elbaradei/its-up-to-any-government-to-decide-how-to-react-to-the-denial-of/) [Mohamed ElBaradei](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohamed-elbaradei/) > [“Research on organised abuse emphasises the diversity of organised abuse cases, and the ways in which serious forms of child maltreatment cluster in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/research-on-organised-abuse-emphasises-the-diversity-of-organised/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [“Living in denial only makes finding the truth that much harder.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jules-f/living-in-denial-only-makes-finding-the-truth-that-much-harder/) [Jules F](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jules-f/) > [Sanity can take one of only two forms: that of ignorance, or denial.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/derek-r-audette/sanity-can-take-one-of-only-two-forms-that-of-ignorance-or-denial/) [Derek R. Audette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/derek-r-audette/) > [Denial leads to closure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aruho-marwin-machiaveli/denial-leads-to-closure/) [Aruho Marwin Machiaveli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aruho-marwin-machiaveli/) > [People are in denial all the time, hiding things. If I tell you a racist or dirty joke and you laugh, you're telling me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-landau/people-are-in-denial-all-the-time-hiding-things-if-i-tell-you-a/) [Martin Landau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-landau/) > [It is not a question of who dances but of who or what does not dance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-st-denis/it-is-not-a-question-of-who-dances-but-of-who-or-what-does-not-dance/) [Ruth St. Denis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-st-denis/) > [What’s looming in the shadows of our ignorance and denial is a critique of civilization itself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lierre-keith/what-s-looming-in-the-shadows-of-our-ignorance-and-denial-is-a/) [Lierre Keith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lierre-keith/) > [“You can hold on to the smallest doubt and take comfort in it, stay in denial and go on with your carefree life, until…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glenn-beck/you-can-hold-on-to-the-smallest-doubt-and-take-comfort-in-it-stay-in/) [Glenn Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glenn-beck/) [Browse all 1,463 Denial quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/denial/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“... you sometimes had to force people to say things they would rather not articulate, just so they could hear their own words. 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