--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I think the existential dilemma is: We're…" description: "\"“I think the existential dilemma is: We're social animals, so we all wrestle with a sense of inadequacy. But when we realize that we're not as inadequa..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d7/neil-strauss-3035_existential_i-think-the-existential-dilemma-is-we-re_754218.jpg" --- # I think the existential dilemma is: We're social animals… ![“I think the existential dilemma is: We're social animals, so we all wrestle with a sense of inadequacy. But when we realize that we're not as inadequate as we thought we were, and when we realize that everybody else also thinks they're inadequate, then that ache goes away and the idea that we're…” quote by Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d7/neil-strauss-3035_existential_i-think-the-existential-dilemma-is-we-re_754218.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d7/neil-strauss-3035_existential_i-think-the-existential-dilemma-is-we-re_754218.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d7/neil-strauss-3035_existential_i-think-the-existential-dilemma-is-we-re_754218.jpg) > ““I think the existential dilemma is: We're social animals, so we all wrestle with a sense of inadequacy. But when we realize that we're not as inadequate as we thought we were, and when we realize that everybody else also thinks they're inadequate, then that ache goes away and the idea that we're not a person of value disappears to some extent.”” [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. We feel inadequate because we compare ourselves socially; realizing everyone shares this insecurity eases self‑doubt and restores self‑worth. **In simple terms:** Everyone feels insecure; knowing this reduces self‑doubt. Key Takeaway Accept shared insecurity, value yourself. Themes self‑esteem social comparison psychology Mood reflective hopeful Type philosophical motivational When to use this quote - personal relationships - therapy - public speaking - teamwork Key Concepts existential anxiety collective perception Questions to Reflect On - How does recognizing common insecurity change your self‑view? - Can shared doubt foster empathy? A Different Perspective It may not fully eliminate deeper insecurities. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Dilemma Social](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dilemma-social-5860987/) [Existential](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/existential/) [Existential Dilemma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/existential-dilemma-610519/) [Existentialism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/existentialism/) [Inadequate Thought](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inadequate-thought-3821447/) [Think Existential](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/think-existential-5860986/) ## Related quotes > [“So crows must spend a lot of the day wondering what they are supposed to do now, what they are here for, and that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-heller/so-crows-must-spend-a-lot-of-the-day-wondering-what-they-are-supposed/) [Peter Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-heller/) > [I know that I'm inadequate, but I never thought that at seventeen. I thought I was doing the best I could. I thought I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-bogosian/i-know-that-i-m-inadequate-but-i-never-thought-that-at-seventeen-i/) [Eric Bogosian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-bogosian/) > [Failures of perspective in decision-making can be due to aspects of the social utility paradox, but more often result from simple mistakes caused by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-kahn/failures-of-perspective-in-decision-making-can-be-due-to-aspects-of/) [Herman Kahn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-kahn/) > [“This dual position suggests a basic tension or 'existential dilemma' in human living that each of us seeks to resolve: the search for, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernesto-spinelli/this-dual-position-suggests-a-basic-tension-or-existential-dilemma-in/) [Ernesto Spinelli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernesto-spinelli/) > [“But then one voice arose from the babbling clamor to silence them all. It was a voice he hadn’t heard in a while. Steady…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/casey-fisher/but-then-one-voice-arose-from-the-babbling-clamor-to-silence-them-all/) [Casey Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/casey-fisher/) > [Seeing no resolution to my existential recognition of loss, I decide to eat lunch.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/seeing-no-resolution-to-my-existential-recognition-of-loss-i-decide/) [Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/) > [there's no forsaking what you love no existential leap as witnessed here in time and blood a thousand kisses deep](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-cohen/there-s-no-forsaking-what-you-love-no-existential-leap-as-witnessed/) [Leonard Cohen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-cohen/) > [man is free, in so far as he has the power of contradicting himself and his essential nature. 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They are global in the sense that is not possible to deal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/torbjorn-tannsjo/it-is-obvious-that-humanity-faces-existential-threats-of-a-global/) [Torbjorn Tannsjo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/torbjorn-tannsjo/) > [I don't know any 21-year-old who's not having an existential crisis.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ella-purnell/i-don-t-know-any-21-year-old-who-s-not-having-an-existential-crisis/) [Ella Purnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ella-purnell/) > [Time and time again, our species has escaped existential threats by reinventing ourselves, finding new skills not coded in our genes to survive new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-grinspoon/time-and-time-again-our-species-has-escaped-existential-threats-by/) [David Grinspoon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-grinspoon/) > [One must have at least a readiness to love the other person, broadly speaking, if one is to be able to understand him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rollo-may/one-must-have-at-least-a-readiness-to-love-the-other-person-broadly/) [Rollo May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rollo-may/) > [“At a certain time in our existential experience, we must just not want better for ourselves, but for our country and the success of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-johnson-jr/at-a-certain-time-in-our-existential-experience-we-must-just-not-want/) [Henry Johnson Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-johnson-jr/) > [We like existentially wacky characters who exist in existential crisis.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-russo/we-like-existentially-wacky-characters-who-exist-in-existential-crisis/) [Joe Russo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-russo/) > [No shepherd and one herd! Everybody wants the same, everybody is the same: whoever feels different goes voluntarily into a madhouse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/no-shepherd-and-one-herd-everybody-wants-the-same-everybody-is-the/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) ## More by Neil Strauss > [“Never underestimate your own capacity to care. “I”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/never-underestimate-your-own-capacity-to-care-i/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [Rapport equals trust plus comfort.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/rapport-equals-trust-plus-comfort/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [A good organizer is key to anyone with a busy social life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/a-good-organizer-is-key-to-anyone-with-a-busy-social-life/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [“NONVERSATION—noun: a conversation in which one person isn’t paying attention to what the other person is saying, generally due to lack of interest or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/nonversation-noun-a-conversation-in-which-one-person-isn-t-paying/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [You need to be careful with a Bluetooth headset. Because some guys look crazy with them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/you-need-to-be-careful-with-a-bluetooth-headset-because-some-guys/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/in-life-people-tend-to-wait-for-good-things-to-come-to-them-and-by/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [A lot of guys are very intimidated by an attractive woman, and they dehumanise her because our culture perceives beautiful women as commodities. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/a-lot-of-guys-are-very-intimidated-by-an-attractive-woman-and-they/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [“That's when I started to leave it behind. I realized that I got my entire validation from women. Women became like gods to me,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/that-s-when-i-started-to-leave-it-behind-i-realized-that-i-got-my/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [Life is more fun when you open your mouth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/life-is-more-fun-when-you-open-your-mouth/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [Growing up, I was watched by my parents and strongly critiqued. Instead of saying they loved me or showing physical attention, they would joke…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/growing-up-i-was-watched-by-my-parents-and-strongly-critiqued-instead/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [“We never had conversations; we had nonversations, where we just filled empty space with words.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/we-never-had-conversations-we-had-nonversations-where-we-just-filled/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [“A man has two primary drives in early adulthood: one toward power, success, and accomplishment; the other toward love, companionship, and sex.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/a-man-has-two-primary-drives-in-early-adulthood-one-toward-power/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [“Among the required reading for all PUAs were books on evolutionary theory: The Red Queen by Matt Ridley, The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/among-the-required-reading-for-all-puas-were-books-on-evolutionary/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [Instead of putting others down, try improving yourself instead. The only person you have a right to compete with is you. In the meantime,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/instead-of-putting-others-down-try-improving-yourself-instead-the/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) > [“We were all searching outside ourselves for our missing pieces, and we were all looking in the wrong direction. Instead of finding ourselves, we'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-strauss/we-were-all-searching-outside-ourselves-for-our-missing-pieces-and-we/) [Neil Strauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) [Explore all 139 Neil Strauss quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-strauss/) ## More Existential quotes > [When we watch a play under the standard circumstances, we've lost volition and time is passing. A still play feels like an existential threat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-greenberg/when-we-watch-a-play-under-the-standard-circumstances-we-ve-lost/) [Richard Greenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-greenberg/) > [Sometimes it has to do with other longings that are much more existential. Sometimes you go elsewhere not because you are not liking the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/sometimes-it-has-to-do-with-other-longings-that-are-much-more/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [No shepherd and one herd! Everybody wants the same, everybody is the same: whoever feels different goes voluntarily into a madhouse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/no-shepherd-and-one-herd-everybody-wants-the-same-everybody-is-the/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [I think we should be very careful about artificial intelligence. If I had to guess at what our biggest existential threat is, it's probably…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elon-musk/i-think-we-should-be-very-careful-about-artificial-intelligence-if-i/) [Elon Musk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elon-musk/) > [The argument that won the Brexit campaign is the one that said take back control... which is another way of saying we want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frans-timmermans/the-argument-that-won-the-brexit-campaign-is-the-one-that-said-take/) [Frans Timmermans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frans-timmermans/) > [“When it has finished saying it, it no longer is. The longer it is in saying it, the more it can say it at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-ponge/when-it-has-finished-saying-it-it-no-longer-is-the-longer-it-is-in/) [Francis Ponge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-ponge/) > [We have an existential crisis, which is the climate crisis. Canada is one of the laggards in the industrialized world. Our record is terrible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-may/we-have-an-existential-crisis-which-is-the-climate-crisis-canada-is/) [Elizabeth May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-may/) > [Did television execs have souls? Now, that was an existential question and a half.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-ward/did-television-execs-have-souls-now-that-was-an-existential-question/) [J.R. Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-ward/) > [“So am I dead? How many kinds of living and dead and living dead and dead living had I been in just these few…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-frances-turner/so-am-i-dead-how-many-kinds-of-living-and-dead-and-living-dead-and/) [Joan Frances Turner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-frances-turner/) > [I can negate everything of that part of me that lives on vague nostalgias, except this desire for unity, this longing to solve, this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-camus/i-can-negate-everything-of-that-part-of-me-that-lives-on-vague/) [Albert Camus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-camus/) > [I write very rarely. Only, in fact, when the sheet of paper suffers an existential crisis and threatens, if I don't surrender to it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiki-dimoula/i-write-very-rarely-only-in-fact-when-the-sheet-of-paper-suffers-an/) [Kiki Dimoula](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiki-dimoula/) > [Michael Jackson is an extremely productive ethnographer, a serious reader of phenomenological and existential philosophy, and a remarkable writer at a level that one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-kleinman/michael-jackson-is-an-extremely-productive-ethnographer-a-serious/) [Arthur Kleinman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-kleinman/) > [If I had to choose between the two ways of approaching the deity, I should prefer the existential relational way, to the abstract philosophical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-moore-cross/if-i-had-to-choose-between-the-two-ways-of-approaching-the-deity-i/) [Frank Moore Cross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-moore-cross/) > [Huge public spending and borrowing in the face of an existential crisis is clearly the right thing to do, as is putting people's health…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-lucas/huge-public-spending-and-borrowing-in-the-face-of-an-existential/) [Caroline Lucas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-lucas/) > [The ability to forget the past enables people to free themselves gradually from the pain they once suffered; but it also often makes them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lu-xun/the-ability-to-forget-the-past-enables-people-to-free-themselves/) [Lu Xun](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lu-xun/) [Browse all 616 Existential quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/existential/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I think the existential dilemma is: We're social animals, so we all wrestle with a sense of inadequacy. 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