--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I always hear people talk about…" description: "\"“I always hear people talk about 'dysfunctional families.' It annoys me, because it makes you think that somewhere there's this magical family where ev..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49c/neal-shusterman-412_dysfunctional_i-always-hear-people-talk-about-dysfunct_3172142.png" --- # I always hear people talk about 'dysfunctional families.'… ![“I always hear people talk about 'dysfunctional families.' It annoys me, because it makes you think that somewhere there's this magical family where everyone gets along, and no one ever screams things they don't mean, and there's never a time when sharp objects should be hidden. Well, I'm sorry…” quote by Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49c/neal-shusterman-412_dysfunctional_i-always-hear-people-talk-about-dysfunct_3172142.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49c/neal-shusterman-412_dysfunctional_i-always-hear-people-talk-about-dysfunct_3172142.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49c/neal-shusterman-412_dysfunctional_i-always-hear-people-talk-about-dysfunct_3172142.png) > ““I always hear people talk about 'dysfunctional families.' It annoys me, because it makes you think that somewhere there's this magical family where everyone gets along, and no one ever screams things they don't mean, and there's never a time when sharp objects should be hidden. Well, I'm sorry, but that family doesn't exist. And if you find some neighbors that seem to be the grinning model of 'function,' trust me - that's the family that will get arrested for smuggling arms in their SUV between soccer games. The best you can really hope for is a family where everyone's problems, big and small, work together. Kind of like an orchestra where every instrument is out of tune, in exactly the same way, so you don't really notice.”” [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Families are imperfect, like an out‑of‑tune orchestra, yet they function through shared flaws. **In simple terms:** Families are messy but functional. Key Takeaway Embrace imperfection in relationships. Themes family imperfection acceptance Mood empathetic realistic Type observational humorous When to use this quote - parenting - marriage - friend groups - community building Key Concepts systems theory social dynamics resilience Questions to Reflect On - How do you support imperfect family members? - What strengths arise from shared flaws? A Different Perspective Idealizing perfect families creates unrealistic expectations. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Big And Small](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/big-and-small/) [Dysfunctional Families](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dysfunctional-families-2/) [Families](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/families/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Family problems](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family-problems/) [Sharp Objects](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sharp-objects/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Work together](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/work-together/) ## Related quotes > [People talk about dysfunctional families; I've never seen any other kind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-grafton/people-talk-about-dysfunctional-families-i-ve-never-seen-any-other/) [Sue Grafton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-grafton/) > [“The best you can really hope for is a family where everyone's problems, big and small, work together. Kind of like an orchestra where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/the-best-you-can-really-hope-for-is-a-family-where-everyone-s/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [Dysfunctional families have sired a number of pretty good actors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-hackman/dysfunctional-families-have-sired-a-number-of-pretty-good-actors/) [Gene Hackman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-hackman/) > [“Many of the habits of dysfunctional families use are not from the lack of love but are the result of fear. Knowing the love-limiting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/many-of-the-habits-of-dysfunctional-families-use-are-not-from-the/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [I love books about dysfunctional families.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-shepard/i-love-books-about-dysfunctional-families/) [Sara Shepard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-shepard/) > [“When it comes to dysfunctional families," he said,"I'll put mine up against anyone's, anytime”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jayne-castle/when-it-comes-to-dysfunctional-families-he-said-i-ll-put-mine-up/) [Jayne Castle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jayne-castle/) > [We all come from dysfunctional families and these days I guess that's pretty normal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carnie-wilson/we-all-come-from-dysfunctional-families-and-these-days-i-guess-that-s/) [Carnie Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carnie-wilson/) > [“Controlling others is the cornerstone of dysfunctional families.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/controlling-others-is-the-cornerstone-of-dysfunctional-families/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [In my family, as in all dysfunctional families, instead of parents who act as strong and nurturing role models for their children, you get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bradshaw/in-my-family-as-in-all-dysfunctional-families-instead-of-parents-who/) [John Bradshaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bradshaw/) > [“Perhaps nothing so accurately characterizes dysfunctional families as denial.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bradshaw/perhaps-nothing-so-accurately-characterizes-dysfunctional-families-as-2/) [John Bradshaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bradshaw/) > [“Families living in dysfunction seldom have healthy boundaries. Dysfunctional families have trouble knowing where they stop and others begin.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/families-living-in-dysfunction-seldom-have-healthy-boundaries/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [Well, while I didn't have the more extreme experiences of some of my characters, I didn't exactly come from the most normal of households.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-de-lint/well-while-i-didn-t-have-the-more-extreme-experiences-of-some-of-my/) [Charles de Lint](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-de-lint/) > [“Perhaps nothing so accurately characterizes dysfunctional families as denial. The denial forces members to keep believing the myths and vital lies in spite of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bradshaw/perhaps-nothing-so-accurately-characterizes-dysfunctional-families-as/) [John Bradshaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bradshaw/) > [“Slavery is at the heart of dysfunctional families. When people serve others because they are forced to do so, freedom to truly serve is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/slavery-is-at-the-heart-of-dysfunctional-families-when-people-serve/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [People who come from dysfunctional families are not destined for a dysfunctional life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bo-bennett/people-who-come-from-dysfunctional-families-are-not-destined-for-a/) [Bo Bennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bo-bennett/) ## More by Neal Shusterman > [“Picking locks was not a skill he had ever cultivated, but he persisted day after day, turning the tip of his talon into different…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/picking-locks-was-not-a-skill-he-had-ever-cultivated-but-he-persisted/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [“If you come anywhere near my daughter, I will see to it that you are taken apart piece by bloody piece. Do I make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/if-you-come-anywhere-near-my-daughter-i-will-see-to-it-that-you-are/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [Dead kids are put on pedestals, but mentally ill kids get hidden under the rug.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/dead-kids-are-put-on-pedestals-but-mentally-ill-kids-get-hidden-under/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [“The fear of not living is a deep, abiding dread of watching your own potential decompose into irredeemable disappointment when “should be” gets crushed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/the-fear-of-not-living-is-a-deep-abiding-dread-of-watching-your-own/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [That's wisdom you can take to the grave, and dig up when you need it!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/that-s-wisdom-you-can-take-to-the-grave-and-dig-up-when-you-need-it/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [“And you know the darkness beyond despair, just as intimately as you know the soaring heights. Because in this and all universes, there is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/and-you-know-the-darkness-beyond-despair-just-as-intimately-as-you/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [You may feel a tugging sensation near your ankles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/you-may-feel-a-tugging-sensation-near-your-ankles/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [“while an adult could rarely be universally loved, everyone could love the right kid.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/while-an-adult-could-rarely-be-universally-loved-everyone-could-love/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [“It's like art, you know? Picasso had to prove to the world he can paint the right way, before he goes putting both eyes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/it-s-like-art-you-know-picasso-had-to-prove-to-the-world-he-can-paint/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [The way I see it, the impossible happens all the time; but we're so good at taking it for granted, we forget it was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/the-way-i-see-it-the-impossible-happens-all-the-time-but-we-re-so/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [“a true leader never puts his ego ahead of his assets.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/a-true-leader-never-puts-his-ego-ahead-of-his-assets/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [If you have to ask then you don't deserve an answer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/if-you-have-to-ask-then-you-don-t-deserve-an-answer/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [“There was never anything wrong with my life. Perhaps that was the problem... The crack in my life was the fact that I had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/there-was-never-anything-wrong-with-my-life-perhaps-that-was-the/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [“But fate is a freak when it comes to messing with your future in ways you don't see coming.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/but-fate-is-a-freak-when-it-comes-to-messing-with-your-future-in-ways/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [“The sad truth about humanity, Risa was quick to realize, is that people believe what they are told. Maybe not the first time, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/the-sad-truth-about-humanity-risa-was-quick-to-realize-is-that-people/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) [Explore all 573 Neal Shusterman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) ## More Dysfunctional quotes > [One of the things my success as an author has forced me to face is how dysfunctional... Maybe that's a strong word, but how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michel-faber/one-of-the-things-my-success-as-an-author-has-forced-me-to-face-is/) [Michel Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michel-faber/) > [“The more severe the dysfunction you experienced growing up, the more difficult boundaries are for you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/the-more-severe-the-dysfunction-you-experienced-growing-up-the-more/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“A dysfunctional family makes for great writing -”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-rose/a-dysfunctional-family-makes-for-great-writing/) Angela Rose > [The motivations I had for being successful were somewhat dysfunctional.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-bloom/the-motivations-i-had-for-being-successful-were-somewhat-dysfunctional/) [Molly Bloom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/molly-bloom/) > [I know whenever it comes to be really dysfunctional and vile and base and hostile on screen, I'm good at that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/werner-herzog/i-know-whenever-it-comes-to-be-really-dysfunctional-and-vile-and-base/) [Werner Herzog](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/werner-herzog/) > [So much of young adult literature has turned dark, almost pathological. It's almost as if there is a race to see who can be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-paul-evans/so-much-of-young-adult-literature-has-turned-dark-almost-pathological/) [Richard Paul Evans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-paul-evans/) > [“But his taste buds are as dysfunctional as the volume control on his voice.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fredrik-backman/but-his-taste-buds-are-as-dysfunctional-as-the-volume-control-on-his/) [Fredrik Backman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fredrik-backman/) > [Of course, everybody's family is dysfunctional - we've accepted that. What are we supposed to do? Hate our parents for the rest of our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-bernhard/of-course-everybody-s-family-is-dysfunctional-we-ve-accepted-that/) [Sandra Bernhard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-bernhard/) > [Well, maybe I'm not so emotionally dysfunctional after all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ian-kelsey/well-maybe-i-m-not-so-emotionally-dysfunctional-after-all/) [Ian Kelsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ian-kelsey/) > [“My family may be dysfunctional, but I think it’s pretty functional in its dysfunction.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-torrey/my-family-may-be-dysfunctional-but-i-think-it-s-pretty-functional-in/) Amanda Torrey > [Any time an elected official in the world we're in today that appears so dysfunctional challenges a core constituency not of their opponent but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeb-bush/any-time-an-elected-official-in-the-world-we-re-in-today-that-appears/) [Jeb Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeb-bush/) > [I want kids to have a chance to dream of becoming something like I did in my life, and when you're living in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/picabo-street/i-want-kids-to-have-a-chance-to-dream-of-becoming-something-like-i/) [Picabo Street](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/picabo-street/) > [I've said this many times: Rock 'n' roll is this magnet for dysfunctional people who only know how to communicate through the medium of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cedric-bixler-zavala/i-ve-said-this-many-times-rock-n-roll-is-this-magnet-for/) [Cedric Bixler-Zavala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cedric-bixler-zavala/) > [Government is dysfunctional.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-bloomberg/government-is-dysfunctional/) [Michael Bloomberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-bloomberg/) > [“Mature adults gravitate toward new values and understandings, not just rehashing and blind acceptance of past patterns and previous learning. This is an ongoing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/mature-adults-gravitate-toward-new-values-and-understandings-not-just/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) Browse all 189 Dysfunctional quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I always hear people talk about 'dysfunctional families.' It annoys me, because it makes you think that somewhere there's this magical family where everyone gets along, and no one ever screams things they don't mean, and there's never a time when sharp objects should be hidden. Well, I'm sorry, but that family doesn't exist. And if you find some neighbors that seem to be the grinning model of 'function,' trust me - that's the family that will get arrested for smuggling arms in their SUV between soccer games. 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