--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The opposite of self-assertiveness is…" description: "\"“The opposite of self-assertiveness is self-abnegation--abandoning or submerging your personal values, judgment, and interests. Some people tell themse..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ad/nathaniel-branden-2125_assertiveness_the-opposite-of-self-assertiveness-is-se_726666.png" --- # The opposite of self-assertiveness is… ![“The opposite of self-assertiveness is self-abnegation--abandoning or submerging your personal values, judgment, and interests. Some people tell themselves this is a virtue. It is a "virtue" that corrodes self-esteem.” quote by Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ad/nathaniel-branden-2125_assertiveness_the-opposite-of-self-assertiveness-is-se_726666.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ad/nathaniel-branden-2125_assertiveness_the-opposite-of-self-assertiveness-is-se_726666.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ad/nathaniel-branden-2125_assertiveness_the-opposite-of-self-assertiveness-is-se_726666.png) > ““The opposite of self-assertiveness is self-abnegation--abandoning or submerging your personal values, judgment, and interests. Some people tell themselves this is a virtue. It is a "virtue" that corrodes self-esteem.”” [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Self‑abnegation pretends to be virtue but actually erodes self‑esteem by suppressing personal values and needs. **In simple terms:** Denial of self hurts confidence. Key Takeaway Honour your values. Themes self‑esteem assertiveness virtue psychology Mood thoughtful encouraging Type philosophical psychological When to use this quote - therapy sessions - career decisions - relationship boundaries Key Concepts self‑negation personal integrity Questions to Reflect On - What values are you suppressing? - How can you assert without feeling selfish? A Different Perspective May ignore legitimate self‑care. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Assertiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/assertiveness/) [Identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identity/) [Personal values](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/personal-values/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Self esteem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-esteem/) ## Related quotes > [It is naive to think that self-assertiveness is easy. To live self-assertively--which means to live authentically--is an act of high courage. 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That is the opposite of self-assertiveness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/a-bully-hides-his-fears-with-fake-bravado-that-is-the-opposite-of/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [I have repeatedly stressed that the selfish impulses of man constitute a much less historic danger than his integrative tendencies. To put it in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-koestler/i-have-repeatedly-stressed-that-the-selfish-impulses-of-man/) [Arthur Koestler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-koestler/) > [The world is full of people who are determined to be somebody or to give trouble. They want to get ahead, to stand out.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-lee/the-world-is-full-of-people-who-are-determined-to-be-somebody-or-to/) [Bruce Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-lee/) > [Ever notice who's SUCCESS look better on them? 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It is startling to realize that what we call extreme self-seeking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-hoffer/there-is-in-even-the-most-selfish-passion-a-large-element-of-self/) [Eric Hoffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-hoffer/) > [A saint addicted to excessive self-abnegation is a dangerous associate; he may infect you with poverty, and a stiffening of those joints which are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-hugo/a-saint-addicted-to-excessive-self-abnegation-is-a-dangerous/) [Victor Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-hugo/) ## More by Nathaniel Branden > [To preserve an unclouded capacity for the enjoyment of life is an unusual moral and psychological achievement. Contrary to popular belief, it is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/to-preserve-an-unclouded-capacity-for-the-enjoyment-of-life-is-an/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [A commitment to lifelong learning is a natural expression of the practice of living consciously.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/a-commitment-to-lifelong-learning-is-a-natural-expression-of-the/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [What a great teacher, a great parent, a great psychotherapist and a great coach have in common is a deep belief in the potential…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/what-a-great-teacher-a-great-parent-a-great-psychotherapist-and-a/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [If we are happy within ourselves, we don't accept or demand that our partner should fulfill every need. 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Embrace it fully. And watch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/suppose-you-feel-you-cannot-accept-some-fact-about-yourself-then-own/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [Doing more of what doesn't work doesn't work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/doing-more-of-what-doesn-t-work-doesn-t-work/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [“Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves--their convictions and their aspirations--every day. There…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/out-of-fear-out-of-the-desire-for-approval-out-of-misguided-notions/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [If you overcome your fear to ask someone for a date, a raise, or help with a project, that is an act of self-assertiveness.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/if-you-overcome-your-fear-to-ask-someone-for-a-date-a-raise-or-help/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [It would be hard to name a more certain sign of poor self-esteem than the need to perceive some other group as inferior.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/it-would-be-hard-to-name-a-more-certain-sign-of-poor-self-esteem-than/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [When we bury our feelings, we also bury ourselves. It means we exist in a state of alienation. We rarely know it, but we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/when-we-bury-our-feelings-we-also-bury-ourselves-it-means-we-exist-in/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) [Explore all 183 Nathaniel Branden quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) ## More Assertiveness quotes > [Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shakti-gawain/assertiveness-is-not-what-you-do-it-s-who-you-are/) [Shakti Gawain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shakti-gawain/) > [“Be calm; yet assertive. Be meek; yet courageous. Be gentle; yet bold. 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You need stand your ground by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-barbarulo-author-god-s-healing-hands-allow-god-to-reshape-your-soul/it-s-a-fact-that-you-re-going-to-have-a-different-opinion-or-view-on/) Michael Barbarulo: Author God's Healing Hands: Allow God To Reshape Your Soul > [I had received my first establishment grants in response to applications filed the year before. To the pages of baffling forms I had simply…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/twyla-tharp/i-had-received-my-first-establishment-grants-in-response-to/) [Twyla Tharp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/twyla-tharp/) > [“Every great achiever is inspired by a great mentor.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/every-great-achiever-is-inspired-by-a-great-mentor/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [ \[After her 18-day disappearance in 1974:\] I love my husband very, very much, but he didn't ask me when he ran for mayor and… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-alioto/after-her-18-day-disappearance-in-1974-i-love-my-husband-very-very/) [Angela Alioto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angela-alioto/) > [If you are going to have to play defense all the time, you cannot have the kind of ingenuity, assertiveness, independence, and intelligence which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arlen-specter/if-you-are-going-to-have-to-play-defense-all-the-time-you-cannot-have/) [Arlen Specter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arlen-specter/) > [“Some people’s self-esteem was secretly improved when they discovered that their then-lovers had killed themselves over them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/some-people-s-self-esteem-was-secretly-improved-when-they-discovered/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [Once you have a major success with assertiveness, you learn that it's a much healthier path than being a doormat to the insensitive folks.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doreen-virtue/once-you-have-a-major-success-with-assertiveness-you-learn-that-it-s/) [Doreen Virtue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doreen-virtue/) > [The duty we owe ourselves is greater than that we owe others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louisa-may-alcott/the-duty-we-owe-ourselves-is-greater-than-that-we-owe-others/) [Louisa May Alcott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louisa-may-alcott/) > [“I have what it takes to get the work done.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/i-have-what-it-takes-to-get-the-work-done/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [If you overcome your fear to ask someone for a date, a raise, or help with a project, that is an act of self-assertiveness.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/if-you-overcome-your-fear-to-ask-someone-for-a-date-a-raise-or-help/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [“Whoa, hello, assertiveness! How lovely to make your acquaintance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-leveen/whoa-hello-assertiveness-how-lovely-to-make-your-acquaintance/) [Tom Leveen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-leveen/) [Browse all 85 Assertiveness quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/assertiveness/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The opposite of self-assertiveness is self-abnegation--abandoning or submerging your personal values, judgment, and interests. Some people tell themselves this is a virtue. 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