--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Often children who survive extremely…" description: "\"“Often children who survive extremely adverse childhoods have learned a particular survival strategy. I call it ‘strategic detachment.’ This is not the..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc6/nathaniel-branden-2125_children_often-children-who-survive-extremely-adv_297658.jpg" --- # Often children who survive extremely adverse childhoods… ![“Often children who survive extremely adverse childhoods have learned a particular survival strategy. I call it ‘strategic detachment.’ This is not the withdrawal from reality that leads to psychological disturbance, but an intuitively calibrated disengagement from noxious aspects of their family…” quote by Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc6/nathaniel-branden-2125_children_often-children-who-survive-extremely-adv_297658.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc6/nathaniel-branden-2125_children_often-children-who-survive-extremely-adv_297658.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc6/nathaniel-branden-2125_children_often-children-who-survive-extremely-adv_297658.jpg) > ““Often children who survive extremely adverse childhoods have learned a particular survival strategy. I call it ‘strategic detachment.’ This is not the withdrawal from reality that leads to psychological disturbance, but an intuitively calibrated disengagement from noxious aspects of their family life or other aspects of their world. They some how know, This is not all there is. They hold the belief that a better alternative exists somewhere and that someday they will find their way to it. They persevere in that idea. They somehow know Mother is not all women, Father is not all men, this family does not exhaust the possibilities of human relationships-there is life beyond this neighborhood. This does not spare them suffering in the present, but it allows them not to be destroyed by it. Their strategic detachment does not guarantee that they will never know feelings of powerlessness, but it helps them not to be stuck there.”” [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A coping method where children emotionally distance from harmful environments while maintaining hope for a better future. **In simple terms:** Emotional distance protects while hope sustains. Key Takeaway Cultivate hope while setting healthy boundaries. Themes resilience hope coping detachment Mood reflective hopeful Type psychological motivational When to use this quote - childhood trauma - therapy - personal growth - education - support groups Key Concepts psychology survival strategy emotional regulation Questions to Reflect On - How can one balance detachment and engagement? - What supports can replace family deficits? A Different Perspective May lead to emotional numbness if overused. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Detachment Does](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/detachment-does-2849384/) [Disengagement](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disengagement/) [Disengagement Noxious](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disengagement-noxious-2849383/) [Family life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family-life/) [Human relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/human-relationship/) [Strategic Detachment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strategic-detachment-2849382/) [Survival Strategy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/survival-strategy-979538/) ## Related quotes > [Detachment does not mean non-involvement. You can be deeply involved but not entangled.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaggi-vasudev/detachment-does-not-mean-non-involvement-you-can-be-deeply-involved/) [Jaggi Vasudev](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaggi-vasudev/) > [Detachment does not mean to neglect what Krishna gives you. Detachment means to do the needful as an offering to Krishna.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/radhanath-swami/detachment-does-not-mean-to-neglect-what-krishna-gives-you-detachment/) [Radhanath Swami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/radhanath-swami/) > [“...there's no such thing as a one-size-fits-all survival strategy”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-watts/there-s-no-such-thing-as-a-one-size-fits-all-survival-strategy/) [Peter Watts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-watts/) > [Cooperation for mutual benefit, a survival strategy very common in natural systems, is one that humanity needs to emulate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugene-odum/cooperation-for-mutual-benefit-a-survival-strategy-very-common-in/) [Eugene Odum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugene-odum/) > [“Their approach is often described as paranoid, but I will argue that there may be no alternative to the current North Korean policies if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrei-lankov/their-approach-is-often-described-as-paranoid-but-i-will-argue-that/) [Andrei Lankov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrei-lankov/) > [“Psychopathy's no disorder in those shoes, eh? Just a survival strategy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-watts/psychopathy-s-no-disorder-in-those-shoes-eh-just-a-survival-strategy/) [Peter Watts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-watts/) > [“I decided that my initial survival strategy would involve declaring my complete ignorance of what was going on. This would not,naturally, be terribly hard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lia-habel/i-decided-that-my-initial-survival-strategy-would-involve-declaring/) [Lia Habel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lia-habel/) > [Survival strategy. If you’re not careful, this place will eat you alive, and Kaylee’s like bait for the beasts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-vincent/survival-strategy-if-you-re-not-careful-this-place-will-eat-you-alive/) [Rachel Vincent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-vincent/) > [When the survival strategy of a civilization is invalidated, in all of human history none have ever turned back from the brink.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-suarez/when-the-survival-strategy-of-a-civilization-is-invalidated-in-all-of/) [Daniel Suarez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-suarez/) > [Humans are a great survivor species but our survival will be pretty grim if all of the plants and animals we depend on die…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annalee-newitz/humans-are-a-great-survivor-species-but-our-survival-will-be-pretty/) [Annalee Newitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annalee-newitz/) > [“Disengagement is the issue underlying the majority of problems I see in families, schools, communities, and organizations and it takes many forms, including the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/disengagement-is-the-issue-underlying-the-majority-of-problems-i-see/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [It is not difficult to conceive, however, that for many reasons a man writes much better than he lives. For without entering into refined…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/it-is-not-difficult-to-conceive-however-that-for-many-reasons-a-man/) [Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/) > [“Without ongoing training in tailoring instruction to individual learners (and support in doing so), “fault” for underperformance or disengagement from learning is frequently shifted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirsten-olson/without-ongoing-training-in-tailoring-instruction-to-individual/) [Kirsten Olson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirsten-olson/) > [“What if we saw differences in cultures, in moral choices, and in belief as reasons to engage people instead of excuses to disengage and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-sprink/what-if-we-saw-differences-in-cultures-in-moral-choices-and-in-belief/) [Holly Sprink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-sprink/) > [“Employee Engagement “Employee Engagement” has become a very hot topic in recent years. The escalating statistics for disengagement are alarming. In 2015, the Gallup…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-c-young/employee-engagement-employee-engagement-has-become-a-very-hot-topic/) [Susan C. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-c-young/) ## More by Nathaniel Branden > [To preserve an unclouded capacity for the enjoyment of life is an unusual moral and psychological achievement. Contrary to popular belief, it is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/to-preserve-an-unclouded-capacity-for-the-enjoyment-of-life-is-an/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [A commitment to lifelong learning is a natural expression of the practice of living consciously.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/a-commitment-to-lifelong-learning-is-a-natural-expression-of-the/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [What a great teacher, a great parent, a great psychotherapist and a great coach have in common is a deep belief in the potential…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/what-a-great-teacher-a-great-parent-a-great-psychotherapist-and-a/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [If we are happy within ourselves, we don't accept or demand that our partner should fulfill every need. We need to be comfortable with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/if-we-are-happy-within-ourselves-we-don-t-accept-or-demand-that-our/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [The world belongs to those who persevere.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/the-world-belongs-to-those-who-persevere/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [Productive achievement is a consequence and an expression of health, self-esteem, not its cause](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/productive-achievement-is-a-consequence-and-an-expression-of-health/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [Faith is the commitment of one's consciousness to beliefs for which one has no sensory evidence or rational proof. When man rejects reason as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/faith-is-the-commitment-of-one-s-consciousness-to-beliefs-for-which/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [In the nature of our existence, we must act to achieve values. And in order to act appropriately, we need to value the beneficiary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/in-the-nature-of-our-existence-we-must-act-to-achieve-values-and-in/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [I cannot remember a time when the question of why people behave as they do was not intensely interesting to me. The desire to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/i-cannot-remember-a-time-when-the-question-of-why-people-behave-as/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [Suppose you feel you cannot accept some fact about yourself. Then own your refusal to accept. Own the block. Embrace it fully. And watch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/suppose-you-feel-you-cannot-accept-some-fact-about-yourself-then-own/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [Doing more of what doesn't work doesn't work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/doing-more-of-what-doesn-t-work-doesn-t-work/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [“Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves--their convictions and their aspirations--every day. There…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/out-of-fear-out-of-the-desire-for-approval-out-of-misguided-notions/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [If you overcome your fear to ask someone for a date, a raise, or help with a project, that is an act of self-assertiveness.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/if-you-overcome-your-fear-to-ask-someone-for-a-date-a-raise-or-help/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [It would be hard to name a more certain sign of poor self-esteem than the need to perceive some other group as inferior.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/it-would-be-hard-to-name-a-more-certain-sign-of-poor-self-esteem-than/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [When we bury our feelings, we also bury ourselves. It means we exist in a state of alienation. We rarely know it, but we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/when-we-bury-our-feelings-we-also-bury-ourselves-it-means-we-exist-in/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) [Explore all 183 Nathaniel Branden quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) ## More Children quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/) [Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/) > [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/) [Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/) > [It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hecht/it-doesnt-seem-to-me-strange-that-children-should-like-the-macabre/) [Anthony Hecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hecht/) > [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/) [Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/) > [I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-cooper/i-have-many-who-keep-me-going-i-am-very-fortunate-in-this-sense-there/) [Floyd Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-cooper/) > [My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. 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