---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When you first fall in love, it's…"
description: "\"When you first fall in love, it's supposed to be awful. Awful, uncertain, scary, wonderful, confusing, all at once. That's how you know it's real. You ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31d/nancy-werlin-13440_awful_when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-suppose_467591.png"
---

#  When you first fall in love, it's supposed to be awful…

![“When you first fall in love, it's supposed to be awful. Awful, uncertain, scary, wonderful, confusing, all at once. That's how you know it's real. You have to care deeply. Passionately. That hurts.” quote by Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31d/nancy-werlin-13440_awful_when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-suppose_467591.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31d/nancy-werlin-13440_awful_when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-suppose_467591.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31d/nancy-werlin-13440_awful_when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-suppose_467591.png)

> “When you first fall in love, it's supposed to be awful. Awful, uncertain, scary, wonderful, confusing, all at once. That's how you know it's real. You have to care deeply. Passionately. That hurts.”

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Love’s early stage mixes intense joy and pain, signaling deep, authentic connection despite fear and confusion.

**In simple terms:** Love feels both wonderful and painful at first.

Key Takeaway

Embrace the intensity, trust the process.

Themes

love growth vulnerability intimacy

Mood

hopeful reflective intense

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

- first dates
- new relationships
- confessing feelings
- navigating uncertainty

Key Concepts

emotional complexity attachment theory psychology of love

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you differentiate healthy passion from harmful obsession?
- What signs show love is genuine versus fleeting?

A Different Perspective

Intensity can mask unhealthy codependency if not balanced.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Awful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/awful/) [Care](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/care/) [Confusing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/confusing/) [Fall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall/) [Fall in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall-in-love/) [Fall Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall-love/) [Falling in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/falling-in-love/) [Firsts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/) [Hurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt/) [Hurts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurts/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love Supposed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-supposed-433039/) [Passionately Hurts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/passionately-hurts-4048581/) [Real](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real/) [Scary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/scary/) [Uncertain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/uncertain/) [Wonderful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wonderful/)

## Related quotes

> [In the past we have always assumed that the external world around us has represented reality, however confusing or uncertain, and that the inner…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-g-ballard/in-the-past-we-have-always-assumed-that-the-external-world-around-us/)

[J. G. Ballard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-g-ballard/)

> [Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/life-is-unresolved-confusing-bewildering-puzzling-ambiguous-you-don-t/)

[Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/)

> [This is a confusing and uncertain period, when a thousand wise words can go completely unnoticed, and one thoughtless word can provoke an utterly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vaclav-havel/this-is-a-confusing-and-uncertain-period-when-a-thousand-wise-words/)

[Vaclav Havel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vaclav-havel/)

> [How awful to be a perfect beauty! How confusing! God. Can you imagine?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-o-connor/how-awful-to-be-a-perfect-beauty-how-confusing-god-can-you-imagine/)

[Erin O'Connor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-o-connor/)

> [When I fall in love, I feel more valuable and I treat myself with more care. We have all observed the hesitant adolescent, uncertain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rollo-may/when-i-fall-in-love-i-feel-more-valuable-and-i-treat-myself-with-more/)

[Rollo May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rollo-may/)

> [It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping, uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just as you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-not-like-studying-german-where-you-mull-along-in-a-groping/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [Is love supposed to ruin you? It seems to me you shouldn't destroy yourself out of life for purposes of love--or what good is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saul-bellow/is-love-supposed-to-ruin-you-it-seems-to-me-you-shouldn-t-destroy/)

[Saul Bellow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saul-bellow/)

> [“Who says all the lines of love are supposed to match up? I never thought about it that way before-that maybe your perfect other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiffany-baker/who-says-all-the-lines-of-love-are-supposed-to-match-up-i-never/)

[Tiffany Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiffany-baker/)

> [“For there is hate as well as love, she supposed, in the coming together and continuing of our lives.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eudora-welty/for-there-is-hate-as-well-as-love-she-supposed-in-the-coming-together/)

[Eudora Welty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eudora-welty/)

> [“I was going to ask him, yes I was. “You remember Blackberry Night?” The torches were alive with yellow butterfly-flames. “I can’t forget it.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franny-billingsley/i-was-going-to-ask-him-yes-i-was-you-remember-blackberry-night-the/)

[Franny Billingsley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franny-billingsley/)

> [Coldplay songs deliver an amorphous, irrefutable interpretation of how being in love is supposed to feel, and people find themselves wanting that feeling for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/coldplay-songs-deliver-an-amorphous-irrefutable-interpretation-of-how/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [“She pressed her hands against my chest and tried to push me away. "I can't think straight when you 're this close." I backed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-mcgarry/she-pressed-her-hands-against-my-chest-and-tried-to-push-me-away-i/)

[Katie McGarry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-mcgarry/)

> [“Love was supposed to make you better, not make you hate the person you became in order to obtain it. His”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-crownover/love-was-supposed-to-make-you-better-not-make-you-hate-the-person-you/)

[Jay Crownover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-crownover/)

> [“She had started driving past his apartment to see whether or not his car was out front. She had looked up his phone number,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francine-pascal/she-had-started-driving-past-his-apartment-to-see-whether-or-not-his/)

[Francine Pascal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francine-pascal/)

> [I thought when you feel in love it was supposed to be heavenly but looks like my heart ended up in hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/falling-for-that-one/i-thought-when-you-feel-in-love-it-was-supposed-to-be-heavenly-but/)

[Falling For That One](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/falling-for-that-one/)

## More by Nancy Werlin

> [There is nothing in this world that I want or need, but you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/there-is-nothing-in-this-world-that-i-want-or-need-but-you/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [From all of us Scarborough girls, greetings and thanks. This task required two, working together, trusting each other. It required the "us," not the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/from-all-of-us-scarborough-girls-greetings-and-thanks-this-task/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [Nothing that had happened in the past could be taken away. This was an amazing gift. The past was done and over and settled;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/nothing-that-had-happened-in-the-past-could-be-taken-away-this-was-an/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [Sometimes the people who mean you harm, are the ones that say they love you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/sometimes-the-people-who-mean-you-harm-are-the-ones-that-say-they/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [I'm not saying I'm glad it happened. Not exactly. But I'm not sorry to be the person I am today, and to have the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/i-m-not-saying-i-m-glad-it-happened-not-exactly-but-i-m-not-sorry-to/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [There was a mission: To match the cover of 'Extraordinary' to the cover of the paperback 'Impossible,' which was commercially successful. Consider the outdoor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/there-was-a-mission-to-match-the-cover-of-extraordinary-to-the-cover/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [“Jews put black over mirrors during times os mourning so they wouldn't think about themselves. But I never did look in mirrors anyway, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/jews-put-black-over-mirrors-during-times-os-mourning-so-they-wouldn-t/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [Emmy, the events we lived through taught me to be sure of nothing about other people. They taught me to expect danger around every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/emmy-the-events-we-lived-through-taught-me-to-be-sure-of-nothing/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [“Continued pain is a signal to the body that there's something wrong, not right. Lucy Scarborough Nancy Werlin”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/continued-pain-is-a-signal-to-the-body-that-there-s-something-wrong/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [Always remember: In the end, the surviver gets to tell the story.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/always-remember-in-the-end-the-surviver-gets-to-tell-the-story/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [But I know that I'm not who I was supposed to be. Who I could have been. And I know it's because I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/but-i-know-that-i-m-not-who-i-was-supposed-to-be-who-i-could-have/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [People who're nuts never doubt their own sanity. (The Killer's Cousin)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/people-who-re-nuts-never-doubt-their-own-sanity-the-killer-s-cousin/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [Besides, Southerners are hospitable. They'll probably offer me lemonade." Excuse me? You're going to sit on a porch and drink lemonade while I plow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/besides-southerners-are-hospitable-they-ll-probably-offer-me-lemonade/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [No. It's actually not okay. And I hate when people say that, when they say it's okay even though it's not. It's better to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/no-it-s-actually-not-okay-and-i-hate-when-people-say-that-when-they/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

> [“What you did was enough," I said. "We didn't need a superhero. Just an adult who acted to help us when I asked.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/what-you-did-was-enough-i-said-we-didn-t-need-a-superhero-just-an/)

[Nancy Werlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

[Explore all 50 Nancy Werlin quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/)

## More Awful quotes

> [It must be that I am dreaming, and that I shall awaken in a moment to see that awful knife descending toward my heart-…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edgar-rice-burroughs/it-must-be-that-i-am-dreaming-and-that-i-shall-awaken-in-a-moment-to/)

[Edgar Rice Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edgar-rice-burroughs/)

> [I spent two years in Palo Alto - what an awful, suffocating place for those of us who don't care about yoga, yogurts and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evgeny-morozov/i-spent-two-years-in-palo-alto-what-an-awful-suffocating-place-for/)

[Evgeny Morozov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evgeny-morozov/)

> [Layla brought her arms around herself, no doubt because she was remembering the feel of another, stronger set. "I have wanted to, but he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-ward/layla-brought-her-arms-around-herself-no-doubt-because-she-was/)

[J.R. Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-ward/)

> [You've seen the first issue and what happened in the last page. Some pretty awful stuff. I don't know why I seem to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/declan-shalvey/you-ve-seen-the-first-issue-and-what-happened-in-the-last-page-some/)

[Declan Shalvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/declan-shalvey/)

> [It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping, uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just as you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-not-like-studying-german-where-you-mull-along-in-a-groping/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [There was a special challenge in describing the awful childhood of a person who happens to be my own husband. It was very painful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pamela-stephenson/there-was-a-special-challenge-in-describing-the-awful-childhood-of-a/)

[Pamela Stephenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pamela-stephenson/)

> [On balance the moral influence of religion has been awful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-weinberg/on-balance-the-moral-influence-of-religion-has-been-awful/)

[Steven Weinberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-weinberg/)

> [When you finish a poem, it clicks shut like the top of a jewel box, but prose is endless. I haven't experienced an awful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kenneth-koch/when-you-finish-a-poem-it-clicks-shut-like-the-top-of-a-jewel-box-but/)

[Kenneth Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kenneth-koch/)

> [Fascism: awful stench of saw and axe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michel-leiris/fascism-awful-stench-of-saw-and-axe/)

[Michel Leiris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michel-leiris/)

> [No one with a bad tie is getting my vote. Some Lib Dems wear the most shockingly awful ties.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/freddie-fox/no-one-with-a-bad-tie-is-getting-my-vote-some-lib-dems-wear-the-most/)

[Freddie Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/freddie-fox/)

> [“Here she was back in the brightly lit world she had been avoiding for twenty years, and it was exactly as awful as she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-charles-wilson/here-she-was-back-in-the-brightly-lit-world-she-had-been-avoiding-for/)

[Robert Charles Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-charles-wilson/)

> [I'm pretty indiscriminating, and I have awful taste, generally.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nellie-mckay/i-m-pretty-indiscriminating-and-i-have-awful-taste-generally/)

[Nellie McKay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nellie-mckay/)

> [The blessed Religion revealed in the word of God will remain an eternal and awful monument to prove that the best Institution may be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-washington/the-blessed-religion-revealed-in-the-word-of-god-will-remain-an/)

[George Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-washington/)

> [“I am awful. I am heartless. I am scared that these things are actually true.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-am-awful-i-am-heartless-i-am-scared-that-these-things-are-actually/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

> [Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it's the best system we have.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winston-churchill/democracy-is-an-awful-way-to-run-a-country-but-it-s-the-best-system/)

[Winston Churchill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winston-churchill/)

[Browse all 1,826 Awful quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/awful/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "When you first fall in love, it's supposed to be awful. Awful, uncertain, scary, wonderful, confusing, all at once. That's how you know it's real. You have to care deeply. Passionately. That hurts.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Nancy Werlin"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-supposed-to-be-awful-awful-uncertain/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Awful"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-supposed-to-be-awful-awful-uncertain/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31d/nancy-werlin-13440_awful_when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-suppose_467591.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31d/nancy-werlin-13440_awful_when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-suppose_467591.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/31d/nancy-werlin-13440_awful_when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-suppose_467591.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“When you first fall in love, it's supposed to be awful. Awful, uncertain, scary, wonderful, confusing, all…” — Nancy Werlin",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Nancy Werlin",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-werlin/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "When you first fall in love,...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-supposed-to-be-awful-awful-uncertain/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-werlin/when-you-first-fall-in-love-it-s-supposed-to-be-awful-awful-uncertain/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
