--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But while fear was part of what kept them…" description: "\"“But while fear was part of what kept them together for those first few months in Marin, more powerful than fear was the desire that each see the other..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/mohsin-hamid-798_fear_but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-the_649632.jpg" --- # But while fear was part of what kept them together for… ![“But while fear was part of what kept them together for those first few months in Marin, more powerful than fear was the desire that each see the other find firmer footing before they let go, and thus in the end their relationship did in some senses come to resemble that of siblings, in that…” quote by Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/mohsin-hamid-798_fear_but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-the_649632.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/mohsin-hamid-798_fear_but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-the_649632.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/mohsin-hamid-798_fear_but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-the_649632.jpg) > ““But while fear was part of what kept them together for those first few months in Marin, more powerful than fear was the desire that each see the other find firmer footing before they let go, and thus in the end their relationship did in some senses come to resemble that of siblings, in that friendship was its strongest element, and unlike many passions, theirs managed to cool slowly, without curdling into its reverse, anger, except intermittently. Of this, in later years, both were glad, and both would also wonder if this meant that they had made a mistake, that if they had but waited and watched their relationship would have flowered again, and so their memories took on a potential, which is of course how our greatest nostalgias are born.”” [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Fear initially binds a couple, but their deeper desire for each other's stability creates a sibling‑like friendship that endures without turning into anger. **In simple terms:** Friendship can survive beyond romantic fear. Key Takeaway Nurture mutual support and patience. Themes friendship growth emotional maturity Mood thoughtful hopeful Type reflective inspirational When to use this quote - long‑distance relationships - career transitions - personal growth Key Concepts attachment theory long‑term bonds nostalgia Questions to Reflect On - What does lasting friendship look like for you? - Can fear ever be a healthy motivator? A Different Perspective Idealized nostalgia may overlook practical challenges. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Memories](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/memories/) [Nostalgia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nostalgia/) ## Related quotes > [“if they had but waited and watched their relationship would have flowered again, and so their memories took on potential, which is of course…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/if-they-had-but-waited-and-watched-their-relationship-would-have/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [Most of the things in your life are not in your control - the family you are born into, the parents, and the siblings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rana-daggubati/most-of-the-things-in-your-life-are-not-in-your-control-the-family/) [Rana Daggubati](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rana-daggubati/) > [Music is the social act of communication among people, a gesture of friendship, the strongest there is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malcolm-arnold/music-is-the-social-act-of-communication-among-people-a-gesture-of/) Malcolm Arnold > [The paradox of friendship is that it is both the strongest thing in the world and the most fragile. Wild horses cannot separate friends,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/the-paradox-of-friendship-is-that-it-is-both-the-strongest-thing-in/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Friendship is the strongest bond in the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-taylor/friendship-is-the-strongest-bond-in-the-world/) [Jeremy Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-taylor/) > [Thus it was that in obedience to the law laid down by his mother, and in obedience to the law of that unknown and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-london/thus-it-was-that-in-obedience-to-the-law-laid-down-by-his-mother-and/) [Jack London](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-london/) > [“There was no greater weapon than fear. It kept the masses in check. It kept those under him in check. He'd learned long ago…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-t-ryan/there-was-no-greater-weapon-than-fear-it-kept-the-masses-in-check-it/) [L.T. Ryan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-t-ryan/) > [“Fear kept you sharp, that it kept you steadfastly holding on to your life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kendare-blake/fear-kept-you-sharp-that-it-kept-you-steadfastly-holding-on-to-your/) [Kendare Blake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kendare-blake/) > [“The idea that Sophie could die had always been there, ever since the first diagnosis, and yet it seemed like a bad place on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-cleave/the-idea-that-sophie-could-die-had-always-been-there-ever-since-the/) [Chris Cleave](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-cleave/) > [Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-macarthur/our-government-has-kept-us-in-a-perpetual-state-of-fear-kept-us-in-a/) [Douglas MacArthur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-macarthur/) > [“Say goodbye to this energy of fear that kept you safe but small.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/panache-desai/say-goodbye-to-this-energy-of-fear-that-kept-you-safe-but-small/) [Panache Desai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/panache-desai/) > [If the dominant political expression that we're seeing right now is of nostalgia and we know that nostalgia won't really work out, what happens…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/if-the-dominant-political-expression-that-we-re-seeing-right-now-is/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [“And so their memories took on potential, which is of course how our greatest nostalgias are born.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/and-so-their-memories-took-on-potential-which-is-of-course-how-our/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [“When I was alive, I aimed to be a student not of longing but of light.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-nelson/when-i-was-alive-i-aimed-to-be-a-student-not-of-longing-but-of-light/) [Maggie Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maggie-nelson/) > [Nostalgia keeps dissolving the ironic narratives in which I have contained my past.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/nostalgia-keeps-dissolving-the-ironic-narratives-in-which-i-have/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) ## More by Mohsin Hamid > [Pakistan now is like a horror film franchise. You know, it's 'Friday the 13th, Episode 63: The Terrorist from Pakistan.' And each time we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/pakistan-now-is-like-a-horror-film-franchise-you-know-it-s-friday-the/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [A beard is something that is almost like a mirror to the viewer. When someone sees you wearing a beard, they're seeing something in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/a-beard-is-something-that-is-almost-like-a-mirror-to-the-viewer-when/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [And also I think the rise of other, you could say, destinations for international jihadis mean that Pakistan isn't necessarily the place where people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/and-also-i-think-the-rise-of-other-you-could-say-destinations-for/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [“I met her eyes, and for the first time I perceived that there was something broken behind them, like a tiny crack in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/i-met-her-eyes-and-for-the-first-time-i-perceived-that-there-was/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [“muscularity, made more pronounced by her gauntness, and the near-inanimate”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/muscularity-made-more-pronounced-by-her-gauntness-and-the-near/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [“In this group, everyone was foreign, and so, in a sense, no one was.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/in-this-group-everyone-was-foreign-and-so-in-a-sense-no-one-was/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [“It seemed to me then - and to be honest, sir, seems to me still - that America was engaged only in posturing. As…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/it-seemed-to-me-then-and-to-be-honest-sir-seems-to-me-still-that/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [When the uncertain future becomes the past, the past in turn becomes uncertain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/when-the-uncertain-future-becomes-the-past-the-past-in-turn-becomes/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [When the machine of a human being is turned on, it seems to produce a protagonist, just as a television produces an image.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/when-the-machine-of-a-human-being-is-turned-on-it-seems-to-produce-a/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [I think fiction allows you to inhabit new domains and it's you, the reader living in that domain for a few days that results…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/i-think-fiction-allows-you-to-inhabit-new-domains-and-it-s-you-the/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [“Often, during my stay in your country, such comparisons troubled me. In fact, they did more than trouble me: they made me resentful. Four…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/often-during-my-stay-in-your-country-such-comparisons-troubled-me-in/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [Americans need to educate themselves, from elementary school onward, about what their country has done abroad. And they need to play a more active…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/americans-need-to-educate-themselves-from-elementary-school-onward/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [I'm not a representative of Pakistan; I'm just an example that Pakistanis are different from each other. I believe it in my fiction and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/i-m-not-a-representative-of-pakistan-i-m-just-an-example-that/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [“end of a couple is like a death, and the notion of death, of temporariness, can remind us of the value of things,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/end-of-a-couple-is-like-a-death-and-the-notion-of-death-of/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [NYC doesn't have a big sign saying "You must love diversity and the rights of all people." And that's not what makes you love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/nyc-doesn-t-have-a-big-sign-saying-you-must-love-diversity-and-the/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) [Explore all 361 Mohsin Hamid quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) ## More Fear quotes > [This may sound strange, but although I feel like I know everything about my characters, the brand of shampoo they use, how many cavities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/this-may-sound-strange-but-although-i-feel-like-i-know-everything/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“That horrible stinging sensation returned, the muscles behind my eyes straining as the first tear began to fall. “I’m scared, too. For eighteen months…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/devon-ashley/that-horrible-stinging-sensation-returned-the-muscles-behind-my-eyes/) [Devon Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/devon-ashley/) > [“...Often that which most we fear births the resolve that spurs us on to altitudes we could not have achieved, had we continued walking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-t-anderson/often-that-which-most-we-fear-births-the-resolve-that-spurs-us-on-to/) [M.T. Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-t-anderson/) > [What an incredible drug fear is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/what-an-incredible-drug-fear-is/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“Anything that you find yourself worrying about regularly may find you suddenly wanting unrealistic changes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nagisa-tatsumi/anything-that-you-find-yourself-worrying-about-regularly-may-find-you/) Nagisa Tatsumi > [“We all know how the thing we secretly fear is not a secret at all but the open and eternal thing that predicts its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-delillo/we-all-know-how-the-thing-we-secretly-fear-is-not-a-secret-at-all-but/) [Don DeLillo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-delillo/) > [When you're scared - and I mean really scared, not just hearing a noise in the night, or standing toe to toe with someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-gordon-smith/when-you-re-scared-and-i-mean-really-scared-not-just-hearing-a-noise/) [Alexander Gordon Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-gordon-smith/) > [“I had nowhere to go and did not wish to be seen by anyone for fear they would recognize my sadness and so for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-dewitt/i-had-nowhere-to-go-and-did-not-wish-to-be-seen-by-anyone-for-fear/) [Patrick deWitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-dewitt/) > [It's easier to change a law than an age-old mentality. Deep down, many prejudices, many hostilities, many fears persist. But if we take a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dacia-maraini/it-s-easier-to-change-a-law-than-an-age-old-mentality-deep-down-many/) [Dacia Maraini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dacia-maraini/) > [“Snip off the little worries and expressions of worry” like little branches atop a tall tree.28 If you are truly worried, sharing your concerns…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-sanders/snip-off-the-little-worries-and-expressions-of-worry-like-little/) [Tim Sanders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-sanders/) > [“Fear and desire for pleasure. Aggressiveness comes out of fear, predominantly, and sexuality predominantly out of the other. But they mix in the middle.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-french/fear-and-desire-for-pleasure-aggressiveness-comes-out-of-fear/) [Marilyn French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-french/) > [“Carrie Fisher. “Stay afraid, but do it anyway.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-union/carrie-fisher-stay-afraid-but-do-it-anyway/) [Gabrielle Union](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-union/) > [“Yes, the issue was courage. It always had been, even as a kid. Things scared him. He couldn't help it. Noise scared him, dark…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-o-brien/yes-the-issue-was-courage-it-always-had-been-even-as-a-kid-things/) [Tim O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-o-brien/) > [Don't be afraid of hard work. Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Don't let others discourage you or tell you that you can't do it. In…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gertrude-b-elion/don-t-be-afraid-of-hard-work-nothing-worthwhile-comes-easily-don-t/) [Gertrude B. Elion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gertrude-b-elion/) > [Let me tell you that atheism has never painted a masterpiece. Atheism has never dispelled fear. Atheism has never healed a disease; faith in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-hagee/let-me-tell-you-that-atheism-has-never-painted-a-masterpiece-atheism/) [John Hagee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-hagee/) [Browse all 35,569 Fear quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“But while fear was part of what kept them together for those first few months in Marin, more powerful than fear was the desire that each see the other find firmer footing before they let go, and thus in the end their relationship did in some senses come to resemble that of siblings, in that friendship was its strongest element, and unlike many passions, theirs managed to cool slowly, without curdling into its reverse, anger, except intermittently. Of this, in later years, both were glad, and both would also wonder if this meant that they had made a mistake, that if they had but waited and watched their relationship would have flowered again, and so their memories took on a potential, which is of course how our greatest nostalgias are born.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mohsin Hamid" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-them-together-for-those-first/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Fear" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-them-together-for-those-first/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/mohsin-hamid-798_fear_but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-the_649632.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/mohsin-hamid-798_fear_but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-the_649632.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/mohsin-hamid-798_fear_but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-the_649632.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“But while fear was part of what kept them together for those first few months in Marin, more powerful than…” — Mohsin Hamid", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Mohsin Hamid", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“But while fear was part of...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-them-together-for-those-first/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/but-while-fear-was-part-of-what-kept-them-together-for-those-first/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```