--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If I had a dollar for every time I said…" description: "\"If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.\" — Mitch Hedberg" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/feb/mitch-hedberg-695_dollar_if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said_1971923.png" --- # If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be… ![“If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.” quote by Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/feb/mitch-hedberg-695_dollar_if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said_1971923.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/feb/mitch-hedberg-695_dollar_if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said_1971923.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/feb/mitch-hedberg-695_dollar_if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said_1971923.png) > “If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.” [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Exaggerating a common phrase highlights absurdity of everyday language. **In simple terms:** Exaggeration shows how we talk absurdly. Key Takeaway Notice the humor in everyday sayings. Themes humor language absurdity Mood playful lighthearted Type comedic satirical When to use this quote - stand-up routines - social media memes - casual conversation Key Concepts Comedy linguistics social commentary Questions to Reflect On - What everyday phrase could you exaggerate? - How does exaggeration change meaning? A Different Perspective May be misinterpreted as literal. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Dollars](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dollars/) [Making money](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/making-money/) [Money](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/money/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [Relative income uses two variables: the dollar and time, usually hours.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/relative-income-uses-two-variables-the-dollar-and-time-usually-hours/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If I had a dollar for every time you've fucked me over, I'd move far, far away from you, and never see you again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-reitz/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-you-ve-fucked-me-over-i-d-move-far/) Jesse Reitz > [If I had a dollar for every time I gave a fuck, I would have $0. -Just Saying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ephrem-hardin/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-gave-a-fuck-i-would-have-0-just/) [Ephrem Hardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ephrem-hardin/) > [If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that question... wait a minute, I do have a dollar for every time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-skiles/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-someone-asked-me-that-question-wait/) Scott Skiles > [If I had to give you a dollar for every time I didn't give a fuck You'd be rich and I'd be broke.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melany/if-i-had-to-give-you-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-didn-t-give-a-fuck-you/) Melany > [All too much of the wage structure has been based on the time workers put in, rather than upon the product put out. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wheeler-mcmillen/all-too-much-of-the-wage-structure-has-been-based-on-the-time-workers/) [Wheeler McMillen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wheeler-mcmillen/) > [I get to do what I love for money. It's weird to process that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-che/i-get-to-do-what-i-love-for-money-it-s-weird-to-process-that/) [Michael Che](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-che/) > [I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-wish-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-spent-a-dollar-because-then/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If I had a dollar for every time someone made fun of me in high school-oh wait, I do!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-gates/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-someone-made-fun-of-me-in-high/) [Bill Gates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-gates/) > [I got like a little lucky two dollar bill, so I keep it with me all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jalen-ramsey/i-got-like-a-little-lucky-two-dollar-bill-so-i-keep-it-with-me-all/) [Jalen Ramsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jalen-ramsey/) > [I keep saying the word 'weird' over and over again, but it's the only way I can describe it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/i-keep-saying-the-word-weird-over-and-over-again-but-it-s-the-only/) [Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/) > [The greatest hits in some weird way marks the end of something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-crow/the-greatest-hits-in-some-weird-way-marks-the-end-of-something/) [Sheryl Crow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-crow/) > [The thing that probably trips me up the most are people getting tattoos of stuff that I've designed in my books. That always spins…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-hickman/the-thing-that-probably-trips-me-up-the-most-are-people-getting/) [Jonathan Hickman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-hickman/) > [People say I am a little bit weird with the way I go about things, it's a fine line.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-smith/people-say-i-am-a-little-bit-weird-with-the-way-i-go-about-things-it/) [Steve Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-smith/) > [You have a weird way of showing you like me... no text, no calls, nothing... and still you say you really like me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mygabe/you-have-a-weird-way-of-showing-you-like-me-no-text-no-calls-nothing/) MyGabe ## More by Mitch Hedberg > [I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-wear-a-watch-because-i-want-my-arms-to-weigh-the-same-so-if/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/there-was-a-product-on-late-night-tv-that-you-could-attach-to-your/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/imagine-if-you-were-a-drummer-and-you-accidentally-picked-up-two/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-wearing-necklaces-because-it-lets-me-know-when-i-m-upside-down/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-m-sick-of-soup-of-the-day-man-it-s-time-we-make-a-decision-i-need/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-have-a-friend-who-is-a-juggler-if-i-m-at-his-house-i-don-t-like-to/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-get-the-regular-aids-test-anymore-i-get-the-roundabout-aids/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-know-how-to-fix-a-car-if-the-car-breaks-down-and-the-gas-tank/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-drank-some-boiling-water-because-i-wanted-to-whistle/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/what-s-a-sesame-seed-grow-into-i-don-t-know-we-never-give-them-a/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-m-an-ice-sculptor-last-night-i-made-a-cube/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-went-to-a-restaurant-with-my-friend-and-he-said-pass-the-salt-i/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-had-a-bag-of-fritos-they-were-texas-grilled-fritos-these-fritos-had/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I bought a house, it's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there are. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-bought-a-house-it-s-a-two-bedroom-house-but-i-think-it-s-up-to-me/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/mr-pibb-is-a-poor-imitation-of-dr-pepper-dude-didn-t-even-get-his/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Explore all 405 Mitch Hedberg quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) ## More Dollar quotes > [I love being in Malibu. It's so cool there, and the water is just, it's nice and, and I love the beach. And I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jackie-evancho/i-love-being-in-malibu-it-s-so-cool-there-and-the-water-is-just-it-s/) [Jackie Evancho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jackie-evancho/) > [When the dollar collapses, it's not doing it in a vacuum. If the dollar loses value, it's doing so relative to some other currency.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-schiff/when-the-dollar-collapses-it-s-not-doing-it-in-a-vacuum-if-the-dollar/) [Peter Schiff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-schiff/) > [It's a great story for us whenever an entrepreneur makes a crazy amount of money and we get to tell the world about it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-lacy/it-s-a-great-story-for-us-whenever-an-entrepreneur-makes-a-crazy/) [Sarah Lacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-lacy/) > [Single as a dollar and not looking for change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/single-as-a-dollar-and-not-looking-for-change/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If I had a dollar for every time you've fucked me over, I'd move far, far away from you, and never see you again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-reitz/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-you-ve-fucked-me-over-i-d-move-far/) Jesse Reitz > [The more competitive value of the dollar turned around the trade deficit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-feldstein/the-more-competitive-value-of-the-dollar-turned-around-the-trade/) [Martin Feldstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-feldstein/) > [America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-barrymore/america-is-the-country-where-you-can-buy-a-lifetime-supply-of-aspirin/) [John Barrymore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-barrymore/) > [Tinseltown really likes to think that they have a handle on all things 'love.' After all, they've turned it into a billion dollar industry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-crowder/tinseltown-really-likes-to-think-that-they-have-a-handle-on-all/) [Steven Crowder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-crowder/) > [Again, a franchise to me doesn't have to be a billion dollar title.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-fincher/again-a-franchise-to-me-doesn-t-have-to-be-a-billion-dollar-title/) [David Fincher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-fincher/) > [Investors like to hear that you're in a multi-billion dollar market.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-seibel/investors-like-to-hear-that-you-re-in-a-multi-billion-dollar-market/) [Michael Seibel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-seibel/) > [That's how the Pell Grant system works, in that you get a flat dollar amount, and you can use it for tuition or room…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-schatz/that-s-how-the-pell-grant-system-works-in-that-you-get-a-flat-dollar/) [Brian Schatz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-schatz/) > [I recognize that Republicans see a moral difference between a dollar taken away from a millionaire in government benefits and a dollar taken away…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-noah/i-recognize-that-republicans-see-a-moral-difference-between-a-dollar/) [Timothy Noah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-noah/) > [The value of a dollar is to buy just things; a dollar goes on increasing in value with all the genius and all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/the-value-of-a-dollar-is-to-buy-just-things-a-dollar-goes-on/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [As treasury secretary, I don't see it as my role commenting on the dollar in short-term movements.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-mnuchin/as-treasury-secretary-i-don-t-see-it-as-my-role-commenting-on-the/) [Steve Mnuchin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-mnuchin/) > [The fear is that if the dollar falls below 50% of the currency basket held by commercial and central banks and insurance companies, there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/porter-stansberry/the-fear-is-that-if-the-dollar-falls-below-50-of-the-currency-basket/) [Porter Stansberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/porter-stansberry/) Browse all 527 Dollar quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said-that-i-d-be-making-money-in-a/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Dollar" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said-that-i-d-be-making-money-in-a/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/feb/mitch-hedberg-695_dollar_if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said_1971923.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/feb/mitch-hedberg-695_dollar_if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said_1971923.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/feb/mitch-hedberg-695_dollar_if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said_1971923.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Mitch Hedberg", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "If I had a dollar for...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said-that-i-d-be-making-money-in-a/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-said-that-i-d-be-making-money-in-a/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```