--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Do you know what it is?' [Toby] said…" description: "\"“Do you know what it is?' [Toby] said thoughtfully. 'It's that they haven't had anything really awful happen to them. No wonder they seem so superficia..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f7/michelle-cooper-40904_books_do-you-know-what-it-is-toby-said-thought_2059673.jpg" --- # Do you know what it is?' \[Toby\] said thoughtfully. 'It's… ![“Do you know what it is?' [Toby] said thoughtfully. 'It's that they haven't had anything really awful happen to them. No wonder they seem so superficial and unfeeling.' It was certainly an interesting theory, ... [but] surely one didn't need to have suffered in order to possess empathy for those…” quote by Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f7/michelle-cooper-40904_books_do-you-know-what-it-is-toby-said-thought_2059673.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f7/michelle-cooper-40904_books_do-you-know-what-it-is-toby-said-thought_2059673.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f7/michelle-cooper-40904_books_do-you-know-what-it-is-toby-said-thought_2059673.jpg) > ““Do you know what it is?' \[Toby\] said thoughtfully. 'It's that they haven't had anything really awful happen to them. No wonder they seem so superficial and unfeeling.' It was certainly an interesting theory, ... \[but\] surely one didn't need to have suffered in order to possess empathy for those who had? All it required was a bit of imagination and a well-stocked library.”” [Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Empathy can arise from imagination and knowledge, not only personal suffering. **In simple terms:** You can feel for others without having suffered. Key Takeaway Cultivate empathy through learning and imagination. Themes empathy imagination experience Mood thoughtful inquisitive Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - counseling - education - creative writing - conflict resolution Key Concepts psychology philosophy Questions to Reflect On - What stories broaden your compassion? - How does reading shape your understanding of pain? A Different Perspective Relying solely on personal trauma may limit empathy. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Books](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/books/) [Empathy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empathy/) [Empathy Required](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empathy-required-3922912/) [Know Toby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/know-toby-3922913/) [Possess Empathy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/possess-empathy-3922914/) [Reading](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reading/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) [Toby Said](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/toby-said-1686279/) ## Related quotes > [“Mentally healthy individuals should be in touch with their own identity and their own feelings; they should be oriented toward the future and over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-e-vaillant/mentally-healthy-individuals-should-be-in-touch-with-their-own/) [George E. Vaillant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-e-vaillant/) > [I know Toby Jones very well, we've done yoga together in the past and get on very well. He's a fantastic actor, but also…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lesley-sharp/i-know-toby-jones-very-well-we-ve-done-yoga-together-in-the-past-and/) [Lesley Sharp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lesley-sharp/) > [“Thanks,” Toby said. “And if Wesley breaks your heart, I promise to . . . well, I would say I’d kick his ass, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kody-keplinger/thanks-toby-said-and-if-wesley-breaks-your-heart-i-promise-to-well-i/) [Kody Keplinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kody-keplinger/) > [“This is where we come," he said. Albie and I look at each other. “We?” “Me and, you know.” Albie’s eyes got wide. “I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-konigsberg/this-is-where-we-come-he-said-albie-and-i-look-at-each-other-we-me/) [Bill Konigsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-konigsberg/) > [“Without lifting her head, she said, “I want you to get out.” And right then I was sure: M had been born with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gooch-hummer/without-lifting-her-head-she-said-i-want-you-to-get-out-and-right/) [Jennifer Gooch Hummer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gooch-hummer/) > [“I'm not a gentleman,' Toby said. 'I don't think I've ever even seen a gentleman.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-brandon/i-m-not-a-gentleman-toby-said-i-don-t-think-i-ve-ever-even-seen-a/) [John Brandon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-brandon/) > [“Reading is the act of listening and speaking at the same time, with someone you've never met, but love. Even if you hate them,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-nayeri/reading-is-the-act-of-listening-and-speaking-at-the-same-time-with/) [Daniel Nayeri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-nayeri/) > [“A novel is not an allegory...it is a sensual experience of another world. If you don't enter that world, hold your breath with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/azar-nafisi/a-novel-is-not-an-allegory-it-is-a-sensual-experience-of-another/) [Azar Nafisi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/azar-nafisi/) > [Making a movie is about following characters and embarking on an adventure with them, seeing their reactions, and seeing what they do, having empathy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franck-khalfoun/making-a-movie-is-about-following-characters-and-embarking-on-an/) [Franck Khalfoun](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franck-khalfoun/) > [ That is another theme in the book \[Dreams from My Father\]. How do we exercise more empathy in our public discourse? How do we… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/that-is-another-theme-in-the-book-dreams-from-my-father-how-do-we/) [Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/) > [“Understanding breeds empathy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-paolini/understanding-breeds-empathy/) [Christopher Paolini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-paolini/) > [“God has a way of picking a “nobody” and turning their world upside down, in order to create a “somebody” that will remove the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-l-alder/god-has-a-way-of-picking-a-nobody-and-turning-their-world-upside-down/) [Shannon L. Alder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-l-alder/) > [Cinematography speaks to everything that women do inherently well: It's multitasking, it's empathy, and it's channeling visuals into human emotion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-morrison/cinematography-speaks-to-everything-that-women-do-inherently-well-it/) [Rachel Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-morrison/) > [When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-you-need-empathy-you-cannot-give-empathy/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [I have a lot of empathy, and I think that's where mothering starts. You are there to empathise and facilitate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/viv-albertine/i-have-a-lot-of-empathy-and-i-think-that-s-where-mothering-starts-you/) [Viv Albertine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/viv-albertine/) ## More by Michelle Cooper > [“When I was little, I longed and longed to be older, except now I can't recall what exactly it was that I most keenly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-cooper/when-i-was-little-i-longed-and-longed-to-be-older-except-now-i-can-t/) [Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) > [“There’s a fine line between gossip and history, when one is talking about kings.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-cooper/there-s-a-fine-line-between-gossip-and-history-when-one-is-talking/) [Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) > [“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife,' I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-cooper/it-is-a-truth-universally-acknowledged-that-a-single-man-in-2/) [Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) > [“When I asked her what she'd thought of Pride and Prejudice, she only wondered aloud how anyone could have written a novel set in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-cooper/when-i-asked-her-what-she-d-thought-of-pride-and-prejudice-she-only/) [Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) > [“I wondered whether mad people would be better off if their memories could be neatened up, or taken off the shelves on which they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-cooper/i-wondered-whether-mad-people-would-be-better-off-if-their-memories/) [Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) > [“The way she told it, the English counties are littered with aging spinsters who accidentally displayed a spark of intelligence at a debutante dance…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-cooper/the-way-she-told-it-the-english-counties-are-littered-with-aging/) [Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) > [“Simon called you 'Machiavelli disguised as a debutante.'" "Gosh," I said, not sure whether to feel flattered or insulted.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-cooper/simon-called-you-machiavelli-disguised-as-a-debutante-gosh-i-said-not/) [Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) > [“She seemed to think reading was some sort of hobby, as opposed to being as necessary as breathing, sleeping, and eating.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-cooper/she-seemed-to-think-reading-was-some-sort-of-hobby-as-opposed-to/) [Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) > [“And I’ll gaze across the chasm to the other side of the island, where I can still sometimes catch sight of a curly-haired urchin…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-cooper/and-i-ll-gaze-across-the-chasm-to-the-other-side-of-the-island-where/) [Michelle Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) [Explore all 10 Michelle Cooper quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-cooper/) ## More Books quotes > [I think a new world will arise out of the religious mists when we approach our Bible with the idea that it is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aiden-wilson-tozer/i-think-a-new-world-will-arise-out-of-the-religious-mists-when-we/) [Aiden Wilson Tozer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aiden-wilson-tozer/) > [If I had a dollar for every time I couldn’t sleep, I could buy a billion locks and finally read a book in peace.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aesop-rock/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-couldn-t-sleep-i-could-buy-a/) [Aesop Rock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aesop-rock/) > [If what I write is literature, I guess you'd better emphasize the 'litter.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lydia-lunch/if-what-i-write-is-literature-i-guess-you-d-better-emphasize-the/) [Lydia Lunch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lydia-lunch/) > [My sentences got sharper and my stories more efficient, and I gradually learned to imagine the reader more clearly and to empathize with that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-thompson-walker/my-sentences-got-sharper-and-my-stories-more-efficient-and-i/) [Karen Thompson Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-thompson-walker/) > [Young men, especially in America, write to me and ask me to recommend “a course of reading.” Distrust a course of reading! 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