--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When I wasn’t in the barn garden, helping…" description: "\"“When I wasn’t in the barn garden, helping out, sorting seeds or checking hoses I’d spend time alone, usually in the bathroom adjacent to Joel’s room, ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df4/michael-poeltl-50358_apocalypse_when-i-wasn-t-in-the-barn-garden-helping_134760.jpg" --- # When I wasn’t in the barn garden, helping out, sorting… ![“When I wasn’t in the barn garden, helping out, sorting seeds or checking hoses I’d spend time alone, usually in the bathroom adjacent to Joel’s room, staring into the shattered mirror as my hand gently caressed my baby bump. More often than not I would cry. Not because my pregnancy upset me, or…” quote by Michael Poeltl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df4/michael-poeltl-50358_apocalypse_when-i-wasn-t-in-the-barn-garden-helping_134760.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df4/michael-poeltl-50358_apocalypse_when-i-wasn-t-in-the-barn-garden-helping_134760.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df4/michael-poeltl-50358_apocalypse_when-i-wasn-t-in-the-barn-garden-helping_134760.jpg) > ““When I wasn’t in the barn garden, helping out, sorting seeds or checking hoses I’d spend time alone, usually in the bathroom adjacent to Joel’s room, staring into the shattered mirror as my hand gently caressed my baby bump. More often than not I would cry. Not because my pregnancy upset me, or that my hormones were getting the better of me, but because I missed Joel, my baby’s father. That the baby would grow up without a dad made me anxious. Then again, if he had survived, what irreparable damage would he have suffered and how would his pain translate to his child? Jesus, I was studying myself in the very mirror he’d smashed the night he chose to take his own life. The bump had grown slowly in the last couple of months. With these limited resources, I didn’t have the privilege of eating whatever I craved. Had that been the case, I was sure I would have been bigger by now. Still, I tried to eat as well and as often as I could and the size of my belly had proven that my attempts at proper nutrition were at least growing something in there. Nothing made me happier than feeling my baby move. It was a constant source of relief for me. In our present circumstances, with no vitamins and barely any meat products save the recent stash of jerky Earl had found in an abandoned trailer, my diet consisted of berries, lettuce, and canned beans for the most part. Feeling the baby move inside me was an experience I often enjoyed alone. I would think of Joel then as well. Imagining his hand on my belly, with mine guiding his to the kicks and punches.”” [Michael Poeltl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-poeltl/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Pregnancy amid loss and scarcity brings grief, hope, and resilience through small joys. **In simple terms:** Coping with loss while expecting a child creates mixed emotions and strength. Key Takeaway Find comfort in small moments of life. Themes grief hope resilience Mood sad hopeful Type reflective emotional When to use this quote - pregnancy - single parenthood - resource scarcity Key Concepts maternal health trauma nutrition Questions to Reflect On - How do you nurture emotional health in scarcity? - What supports can you seek? A Different Perspective Physical hardship may limit health outcomes. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Apocalypse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apocalypse/) [Baby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/baby/) [Father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father/) [Limited resources](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/limited-resources/) [Motherhood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/motherhood/) [Proper nutrition](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/proper-nutrition/) [Spend Time Alone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spend-time-alone/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Time alone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time-alone/) ## Related quotes > [Shout out to all the guys who've had to grow up without their dad or any father figure. Its not easy...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/shout-out-to-all-the-guys-who-ve-had-to-grow-up-without-their-dad-or/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I didn't grow up with my dad, so it was always very funny to me, and always has been, what an important part DNA…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiefer-sutherland/i-didn-t-grow-up-with-my-dad-so-it-was-always-very-funny-to-me-and/) [Kiefer Sutherland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiefer-sutherland/) > [I didn't grow up with my dad so I don't know much at all about my heritage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keiynan-lonsdale/i-didn-t-grow-up-with-my-dad-so-i-don-t-know-much-at-all-about-my/) [Keiynan Lonsdale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keiynan-lonsdale/) > [I didn't really grow up with my dad. I met my dad a couple of times throughout my life. When my mom was pregnant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/minka-kelly/i-didn-t-really-grow-up-with-my-dad-i-met-my-dad-a-couple-of-times/) [Minka Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/minka-kelly/) > [“It made a big difference in my life to grow up with a dad who wasn't afraid of how great my mom was.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-maraboli/it-made-a-big-difference-in-my-life-to-grow-up-with-a-dad-who-wasn-t/) [Steve Maraboli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-maraboli/) > [I've been so fortunate to have had such a healthy, easy pregnancy and have been incredibly active the entire way through. My favorite part…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-helen-bowers/i-ve-been-so-fortunate-to-have-had-such-a-healthy-easy-pregnancy-and/) [Mary Helen Bowers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-helen-bowers/) > [Whoa, I'm feeling you baby Don't be afraid to Jump then fall Jump then fall into me Baby, I'm never gonna leave you Say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/whoa-i-m-feeling-you-baby-don-t-be-afraid-to-jump-then-fall-jump-then/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I like being pregnant - feeling the baby moving, acknowledging the miracle that we're capable of producing a whole other being from scratch. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniela-ruah/i-like-being-pregnant-feeling-the-baby-moving-acknowledging-the/) [Daniela Ruah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniela-ruah/) > [The feeling of your baby taking nourishment from your body for the first time is amazing, and it remains the most touching moment of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-schlessinger/the-feeling-of-your-baby-taking-nourishment-from-your-body-for-the/) [Laura Schlessinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-schlessinger/) > [Time I've been patient for so long How can I pretend to be so strong? Looking at you baby Feeling it too baby If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/time-i-ve-been-patient-for-so-long-how-can-i-pretend-to-be-so-strong/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [That special feeling when a baby grabs your finger with their whole hand ..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/green-monk/that-special-feeling-when-a-baby-grabs-your-finger-with-their-whole/) [Green Monk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/green-monk/) > [I love rolling over when I wake and feeling the baby wake up too. It's so incredible!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vanessa-lachey/i-love-rolling-over-when-i-wake-and-feeling-the-baby-wake-up-too-it-s/) [Vanessa Lachey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vanessa-lachey/) > [I know my body needs to have the proper nutrition so that I can keep kicking at a high level. The same goes with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-vinatieri/i-know-my-body-needs-to-have-the-proper-nutrition-so-that-i-can-keep/) [Adam Vinatieri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-vinatieri/) > [“31. The human body seems indestructible when we are young. However, it is incredibly fragile and must be care for if it is to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-c-dobson/31-the-human-body-seems-indestructible-when-we-are-young-however-it/) [James C. Dobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-c-dobson/) > [The lack of access to proper nutrition is not only fueling obesity, it is leading to food insecurity and hunger among our children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-vilsack/the-lack-of-access-to-proper-nutrition-is-not-only-fueling-obesity-it/) [Tom Vilsack](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-vilsack/) ## More by Michael Poeltl > [“Life is a gift, and should be cherished, lived and experienced. Though experience often reveals itself as pain in this world, it is still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-poeltl/life-is-a-gift-and-should-be-cherished-lived-and-experienced-though/) [Michael Poeltl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-poeltl/) > [“The guns reminded me that this was just an attempt to punch holes in the darkness that enveloped us now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-poeltl/the-guns-reminded-me-that-this-was-just-an-attempt-to-punch-holes-in/) [Michael Poeltl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-poeltl/) > [“The storm long past, the night sky was beset with stars. Pointing upward, I asked her to pick a point of light and stay…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-poeltl/the-storm-long-past-the-night-sky-was-beset-with-stars-pointing/) [Michael Poeltl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-poeltl/) > [“In such a person, sadness breeds purpose; finding inspiration in the darkness and often times, I believe, they will impress a hell onto their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-poeltl/in-such-a-person-sadness-breeds-purpose-finding-inspiration-in-the/) [Michael Poeltl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-poeltl/) > [“A ghost is a ghost, whether it exists in a machine or an organic.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-poeltl/a-ghost-is-a-ghost-whether-it-exists-in-a-machine-or-an-organic/) [Michael Poeltl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-poeltl/) > [“Memories are of the ethereal, and not the material world, that is how I know I am forever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-poeltl/memories-are-of-the-ethereal-and-not-the-material-world-that-is-how-i/) [Michael Poeltl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-poeltl/) [Explore all 7 Michael Poeltl quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-poeltl/) ## More Apocalypse quotes > [People always wonder when the world is going to end. I believe that the world will end when everyone stops loving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nichole-fickes/people-always-wonder-when-the-world-is-going-to-end-i-believe-that/) [Nichole Fickes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nichole-fickes/) > [A South Korean inventor has finally created the robot that mankind has been waiting for. Scientists who have been worried about the robot apocalypse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-pesca/a-south-korean-inventor-has-finally-created-the-robot-that-mankind/) [Mike Pesca](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-pesca/) > [The end of the world begins the moment you die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billy-graham/the-end-of-the-world-begins-the-moment-you-die/) [Billy Graham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billy-graham/) > [If it makes you feel any better, this isn't my first apocalypse. There is hope.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/if-it-makes-you-feel-any-better-this-isn-t-my-first-apocalypse-there/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [Funerals and weddings were commonplace, and nothing could have been so interesting to them as the coming of the end of the world ...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-eggleston/funerals-and-weddings-were-commonplace-and-nothing-could-have-been-so/) [Edward Eggleston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-eggleston/) > [“The world did not end with a bang, nor did it end with a whimper. It was more of a chomp. And a slurp.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-rudolph/the-world-did-not-end-with-a-bang-nor-did-it-end-with-a-whimper-it/) J. Rudolph > [Nuclear apocalypse-who do you need? Actors are probably not top of the list. What can I do for you? I can pretend to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-bale/nuclear-apocalypse-who-do-you-need-actors-are-probably-not-top-of-the/) [Christian Bale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-bale/) > [“It was a comfortable, familiar apocalypse,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrian-barnes/it-was-a-comfortable-familiar-apocalypse/) [Adrian Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrian-barnes/) > [In the New Testament alone there are Gospels, acts, epistles, and an apocalypse. Gospels contain literary forms like miracles, parables, pronouncements, proverbs, farewell discourses,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-blomberg/in-the-new-testament-alone-there-are-gospels-acts-epistles-and-an/) [Craig Blomberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-blomberg/) > [The day came. The wrath descended. Sin, guilt, and retribution? The manic psychoses of those entities we referred to as states, institutions, systems -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-k-dick/the-day-came-the-wrath-descended-sin-guilt-and-retribution-the-manic/) [Philip K. Dick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-k-dick/) > [“People have always been good at imagining the end of the world, which is much easier to picture than the strange sidelong paths of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-solnit/people-have-always-been-good-at-imagining-the-end-of-the-world-which/) [Rebecca Solnit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-solnit/) > [The awkward moment when you predict the end of the world and nothing happens :P](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-awkward-moment-when-you-predict-the-end-of-the-world-and-nothing/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I once fed a dog-fight operator to the dogs he had abused for so long, and do you want to know something? It felt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cedric-nye/i-once-fed-a-dog-fight-operator-to-the-dogs-he-had-abused-for-so-long/) [Cedric Nye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cedric-nye/) > [“You and I are victims of the same disease. We're fighting the same war, just different battles in different theaters, and it's way too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isaac-marion/you-and-i-are-victims-of-the-same-disease-we-re-fighting-the-same-war/) [Isaac Marion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isaac-marion/) > [I've been around long enough now and have learned to be flexible enough to know that every movie isn't going to be Apocalypse Now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurence-fishburne/i-ve-been-around-long-enough-now-and-have-learned-to-be-flexible/) [Laurence Fishburne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurence-fishburne/) [Browse all 820 Apocalypse quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apocalypse/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“When I wasn’t in the barn garden, helping out, sorting seeds or checking hoses I’d spend time alone, usually in the bathroom adjacent to Joel’s room, staring into the shattered mirror as my hand gently caressed my baby bump. More often than not I would cry. Not because my pregnancy upset me, or that my hormones were getting the better of me, but because I missed Joel, my baby’s father. That the baby would grow up without a dad made me anxious. Then again, if he had survived, what irreparable damage would he have suffered and how would his pain translate to his child? Jesus, I was studying myself in the very mirror he’d smashed the night he chose to take his own life. The bump had grown slowly in the last couple of months. With these limited resources, I didn’t have the privilege of eating whatever I craved. Had that been the case, I was sure I would have been bigger by now. Still, I tried to eat as well and as often as I could and the size of my belly had proven that my attempts at proper nutrition were at least growing something in there. Nothing made me happier than feeling my baby move. It was a constant source of relief for me. In our present circumstances, with no vitamins and barely any meat products save the recent stash of jerky Earl had found in an abandoned trailer, my diet consisted of berries, lettuce, and canned beans for the most part. Feeling the baby move inside me was an experience I often enjoyed alone. I would think of Joel then as well. 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