--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Many guys see relationships with women as…" description: "\"Many guys see relationships with women as a zero-sum game: If she wins, he loses. Marriage is the ultimate contest: Her job is to get him to capitulate..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b8/michael-kimmel-24245_bachelor-party_many-guys-see-relationships-with-women-a_933709.jpg" --- # Many guys see relationships with women as a zero-sum game… ![“Many guys see relationships with women as a zero-sum game: If she wins, he loses. Marriage is the ultimate contest: Her job is to get him to capitulate to marriage. So many men see marriage as the "end of freedom," the end of boyhood. That's why bachelor parties are supposed to revel in that…” quote by Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b8/michael-kimmel-24245_bachelor-party_many-guys-see-relationships-with-women-a_933709.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b8/michael-kimmel-24245_bachelor-party_many-guys-see-relationships-with-women-a_933709.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b8/michael-kimmel-24245_bachelor-party_many-guys-see-relationships-with-women-a_933709.jpg) > “Many guys see relationships with women as a zero-sum game: If she wins, he loses. Marriage is the ultimate contest: Her job is to get him to capitulate to marriage. So many men see marriage as the "end of freedom," the end of boyhood. That's why bachelor parties are supposed to revel in that boyish irresponsibility "one last time." So many guys figure, "Why rush into something that means basically that you'll be a prisoner forever?"” [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Some men view marriage as a loss of freedom, treating it like a competitive game rather than partnership. **In simple terms:** Marriage seen as a contest. Key Takeaway Reframe marriage as collaboration. Themes gender roles marriage freedom Mood reflective analytical Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - relationship counseling - marriage preparation - personal growth - gender education Key Concepts Social contract identity negotiation Questions to Reflect On - What fears underlie the “loss of freedom” view? - How can couples build mutual autonomy? A Different Perspective Not all men view marriage this way; cultural narratives differ. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Bachelor Parties](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bachelor-parties-473562/) [Bachelor party](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bachelor-party/) [Bachelors](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bachelors/) [Boyhood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boyhood/) [Boyish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boyish/) [Capitulate Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/capitulate-marriage-1539744/) [Contests](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/contests/) [End Boyhood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/end-boyhood-1539746/) [Ends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ends/) [Figures](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/figures/) [Forever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forever/) [Games](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/games/) [Guy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guy/) [Ifs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/) [Irresponsibility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/irresponsibility/) [Jobs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jobs/) [Last time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/last-time/) [Lasts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lasts/) [Loses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loses/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marriage End](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage-end-1539745/) [Mean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mean/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Men Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men-marriage-477816/) [Party](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/party/) [Prisoner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/prisoner/) [Ultimate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ultimate/) [Winning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/winning/) [Zero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/zero/) [Zero sum game](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/zero-sum-game/) ## Related quotes > [Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn’t be more eager to have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/bachelor-parties-are-designed-for-those-who-are-sad-to-see-the-2/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [Bachelor parties are for the married guys.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/bachelor-parties-are-for-the-married-guys/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I myself have participated in girl-on-girl shows for men that would ask for it, of which were very, very many. It is a popular…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-lobert/i-myself-have-participated-in-girl-on-girl-shows-for-men-that-would/) [Annie Lobert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-lobert/) > [Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/jasper-what-do-vampires-do-for-bachelor-parties-you-re-not-taking-him/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-murray/you-know-how-funerals-are-not-for-the-dead-they-re-for-the-living/) [Bill Murray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-murray/) > [“People are unrealistically optimistic even when the stakes are high. About 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, and this is a statistic most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/people-are-unrealistically-optimistic-even-when-the-stakes-are-high/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“The only reason to be in a relationship or in a marriage, is if at the end of the day when the music stops…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-joybell-c/the-only-reason-to-be-in-a-relationship-or-in-a-marriage-is-if-at-the/) [C. JoyBell C](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-joybell-c/) > [“People are unrealistically optimistic even when the stakes are high. About 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, and this is a statistic most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-h-thaler/people-are-unrealistically-optimistic-even-when-the-stakes-are-high-2/) [Richard H. Thaler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-h-thaler/) > [“Love does not bind you. Love sets you free. Love flourishes in freedom. If you see marriage as the end of freedom, you are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ravinder-singh/love-does-not-bind-you-love-sets-you-free-love-flourishes-in-freedom/) [Ravinder Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ravinder-singh/) > [“His eyes narrowed. “First, the marriage will take place. Just as soon as you’ve regained your senses and realize that tis the only sensible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-banks/his-eyes-narrowed-first-the-marriage-will-take-place-just-as-soon-as/) [Maya Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-banks/) > [Bachelor parties would pay a lot of money to hire Pat Buchanan to come.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/willie-geist/bachelor-parties-would-pay-a-lot-of-money-to-hire-pat-buchanan-to-come/) [Willie Geist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/willie-geist/) > [Giving men marriage tips is a little like offering Vikings a free booklet titled How Not to Pillage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-wright/giving-men-marriage-tips-is-a-little-like-offering-vikings-a-free/) [Robert Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-wright/) > [“The minister’s voice floated around them. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of these two men in marriage. Through many long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kaje-harper/the-minister-s-voice-floated-around-them-we-are-gathered-here-today/) [Kaje Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kaje-harper/) > [Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldnt be more eager to have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/the-twilight-saga-breaking-dawn/bachelor-parties-are-designed-for-those-who-are-sad-to-see-the/) [The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/the-twilight-saga-breaking-dawn/) > [Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? Youre not taking him to a strip club, are you? -Bella Swan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/the-twilight-saga-breaking-dawn/jasper-what-do-vampires-do-for-bachelor-parties-youre-not-taking-him/) [The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/the-twilight-saga-breaking-dawn/) ## More by Michael Kimmel > [“Feminism expects a man to be ethical, emotionally present, and accountable to his values in his actions with women — as well as with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/feminism-expects-a-man-to-be-ethical-emotionally-present-and/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [My colleagues and I have done a survey of 13,000 students on more than 17 campuses, and we found that while sex in college…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/my-colleagues-and-i-have-done-a-survey-of-13-000-students-on-more/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [I believe that Americans are entitled. We're entitled to have a job that makes us feel like we have some dignity in our lives,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/i-believe-that-americans-are-entitled-we-re-entitled-to-have-a-job/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [I think there is another choice for women; it involves challenging Guyland and supporting each other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/i-think-there-is-another-choice-for-women-it-involves-challenging/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [Playing along with Guyland may be the only way an individual woman might believe she has a chance at a social life or a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/playing-along-with-guyland-may-be-the-only-way-an-individual-woman/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [Some of the worst elements of Guyland rest on the twin pillars of men's silence and women's compliance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/some-of-the-worst-elements-of-guyland-rest-on-the-twin-pillars-of-men/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [“Single parents - both women and men - can play as critical a role as the traditional two-parent family, and gay and lesbian parents…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/single-parents-both-women-and-men-can-play-as-critical-a-role-as-the/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [And few hookups, if any, ever take place sober. And while wearing "beer goggles" may make people appear more attractive, it doesn't exactly make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/and-few-hookups-if-any-ever-take-place-sober-and-while-wearing-beer/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [White men in North America are the beneficiaries of the single biggest affirmative action program in world history. It's called world history.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/white-men-in-north-america-are-the-beneficiaries-of-the-single/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [Young men are eager to "hook up" with women. And many say they have very good female friends. But some of the emotions circulating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/young-men-are-eager-to-hook-up-with-women-and-many-say-they-have-very/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [Privilege is invisible to those who have it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/privilege-is-invisible-to-those-who-have-it/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [We have the data to prove to men that gender equality is not a zero-sum game, but a win-win.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/we-have-the-data-to-prove-to-men-that-gender-equality-is-not-a-zero/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [Many boyfriends or close male friends seem so different when they are by themselves, as opposed to when they are with a bunch of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/many-boyfriends-or-close-male-friends-seem-so-different-when-they-are/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [White men in Europe and the US are the beneficiaries of the single greatest affirmative action program in the history of the world; it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/white-men-in-europe-and-the-us-are-the-beneficiaries-of-the-single/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) > [Feminism loves men enough to expect them to act more honorably and actually believes them capable of doing so.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kimmel/feminism-loves-men-enough-to-expect-them-to-act-more-honorably-and/) [Michael Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) [Explore all 24 Michael Kimmel quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kimmel/) ## More Bachelor party quotes > [Massachusetts became the first state to marry gay couples, though lawmakers say allowing gay couples to get married raises a lot of questions. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/massachusetts-became-the-first-state-to-marry-gay-couples-though/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) > [Women are suspicious of this male ritual of the bachelor party and are suspicious of what men do and say when they are not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-mazin/women-are-suspicious-of-this-male-ritual-of-the-bachelor-party-and/) [Craig Mazin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-mazin/) > [We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake, before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-brasky/we-once-had-a-bachelor-party-for-brasky-he-ate-the-entire-cake-before/) [Bill Brasky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-brasky/) > [We're down in Mexico. It's for a bachelor party, so we go into a Mexican strip club... I go back with this woman down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-madrigal/we-re-down-in-mexico-it-s-for-a-bachelor-party-so-we-go-into-a/) [Al Madrigal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-madrigal/) > [ Bella What is that? Edward I'm late for my bachelor party. \[Emmett leaps up to Bella's window\] Emmett Send him out, Bella, or we're… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/twilight/bella-what-is-that-edward-i-m-late-for-my-bachelor-party-emmett-leaps/) [Twilight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/twilight/) > [“Xav sprinkled olive oil on his lettuce. 'Lola was very particular that it all had to fit properly.' 'Lola?' squeaked Diamond. I wanted to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joss-stirling/xav-sprinkled-olive-oil-on-his-lettuce-lola-was-very-particular-that/) [Joss Stirling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joss-stirling/) > [I refuse to eat fuckin' cantaloupe at a bachelor party. -Phil](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/the-hangover-2/i-refuse-to-eat-fuckin-cantaloupe-at-a-bachelor-party-phil/) [The Hangover 2](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/the-hangover-2/) > [?5 Missed Calls From my Mate, I Missed A Bachelor Party Last Night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curly-girl-2/5-missed-calls-from-my-mate-i-missed-a-bachelor-party-last-night/) [Curly\_girl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curly-girl-2/) > [I actually got stabbed at my friend's bachelor party. In real life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-knoxville/i-actually-got-stabbed-at-my-friend-s-bachelor-party-in-real-life/) [Johnny Knoxville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-knoxville/) > [Oh, it's ok...No, I'm allowed to say it, it's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody! Oh wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/the-hangover-2/oh-it-s-ok-no-i-m-allowed-to-say-it-it-s-a-bachelor-party-drink-up/) [The Hangover 2](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/the-hangover-2/) > [I myself have participated in girl-on-girl shows for men that would ask for it, of which were very, very many. It is a popular…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-lobert/i-myself-have-participated-in-girl-on-girl-shows-for-men-that-would/) [Annie Lobert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-lobert/) > [I'm worried the horrific consequences of reckless blackout drinking portrayed in The Hangover may cause you to steer my bachelor party away from reckless…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-m-worried-the-horrific-consequences-of-reckless-blackout-drinking/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/jasper-what-do-vampires-do-for-bachelor-parties-you-re-not-taking-him/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [“It was hard to judge a man's full character by his bachelor party etiquette.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lola-dodge/it-was-hard-to-judge-a-man-s-full-character-by-his-bachelor-party/) [Lola Dodge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lola-dodge/) > [I didn't have a bachelor party, but even if I did, I wouldn't go to Vaishnodevi!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alok-nath/i-didn-t-have-a-bachelor-party-but-even-if-i-did-i-wouldn-t-go-to/) [Alok Nath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alok-nath/) [Browse all 28 Bachelor party quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bachelor-party/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Many guys see relationships with women as a zero-sum game: If she wins, he loses. 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