--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There had been a time in high school…" description: "\"“There had been a time in high school, see, when I wrestled with the possibility that I might be gay, a torturous six-month culmination of years of unp..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e54/michael-chabon-627_high-school_there-had-been-a-time-in-high-school-see_3177683.jpg" --- # There had been a time in high school, see, when I wrestled… ![“There had been a time in high school, see, when I wrestled with the possibility that I might be gay, a torturous six-month culmination of years of unpopularity and girllessness. At night I lay in bed and cooly informed myself that I was gay and that I had better get used to it. The locker room…” quote by Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e54/michael-chabon-627_high-school_there-had-been-a-time-in-high-school-see_3177683.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e54/michael-chabon-627_high-school_there-had-been-a-time-in-high-school-see_3177683.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e54/michael-chabon-627_high-school_there-had-been-a-time-in-high-school-see_3177683.jpg) > ““There had been a time in high school, see, when I wrestled with the possibility that I might be gay, a torturous six-month culmination of years of unpopularity and girllessness. At night I lay in bed and cooly informed myself that I was gay and that I had better get used to it. The locker room became a place of torment, full of exposed male genitalia that seemed to taunt me with my failure to avoid glancing at them, for a fraction of a second that might have seemed accidental but was, I recognized, a bitter symptom of my perversion. Bursting with typical fourteen-year-old desire, I attempted to focus it in succession on the thought of every boy I knew, hoping to find some outlet for my horniness, even if it had to be perverted, secret, and doomed to disappointment. Without exception these attempts failed to produce anything but bemusement, if not actual disgust. This crisis of self-esteem had been abruptly dispelled by the advent of Julie Lefkowitz, followed swiftly by her sister Robin, and then Sharon Horne and little Rose Fagan and Jennifer Schaeffer; but I never forgot my period of profound sexual doubt. Once in a while I would meet an enthralling man who shook, dimly but perceptibley, the foundations laid by Julie Lefkowitz, and I would wonder, just for a moment, by what whim of fate I had decided that I was not a homosexual.”” [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A teenage boy struggles with his emerging sexual identity, confronting internal conflict and societal pressures, while seeking acceptance and self-understanding. **In simple terms:** A teen wrestles with being gay and the fear of being judged. Key Takeaway Accept yourself and seek supportive communities. Themes identity sexuality adolescence self-acceptance social pressure Mood conflicted hopeful Type personal reflective When to use this quote - high school - locker rooms - first crushes - online forums - support groups Key Concepts coming-of-age internal conflict self-discovery Questions to Reflect On - What supportive resources could help a teen in this situation? - How does peer pressure shape self-perception? A Different Perspective The narrative may oversimplify the complexity of sexual identity formation. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [High school](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/high-school/) [Homosexuality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/homosexuality/) [Humor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/) [Locker room](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/locker-room/) [Perverted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/perverted/) [Perverted Secret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/perverted-secret-5809730/) [Profound Sexual](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/profound-sexual-5809731/) [Sexual](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sexual/) [Symptom Perversion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/symptom-perversion-5809732/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [All things tend to corrupt perverted minds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-tullius-cicero/all-things-tend-to-corrupt-perverted-minds/) [Marcus Tullius Cicero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-tullius-cicero/) > [“Doode," George said. He'd practiced all morning but still didn't get it quite right. "Nope, more u , less oo . Duuude." "Dude." "Dude."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/doode-george-said-he-d-practiced-all-morning-but-still-didn-t-get-it/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [I'm perverted as fuck, got a pole in the house. Got your girl and your girl and they hoein' it out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/big-sean/i-m-perverted-as-fuck-got-a-pole-in-the-house-got-your-girl-and-your/) [Big Sean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/big-sean/) > [Because love has been so perverted, it has in many cases come to involve a measure of hatred.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germaine-greer/because-love-has-been-so-perverted-it-has-in-many-cases-come-to/) [Germaine Greer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germaine-greer/) > [“Once again, he does something and I can't decide if it's sweet, if it's perverted, or if it's criminal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dm-l-carter/once-again-he-does-something-and-i-can-t-decide-if-it-s-sweet-if-it-s/) [Dm. L. Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dm-l-carter/) > [“Most things that declare the glory of God can be perverted to worship.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-missler/most-things-that-declare-the-glory-of-god-can-be-perverted-to-worship/) [Chuck Missler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-missler/) > [I'm one of the most immoral perverted mofos around- But test my heart and you will see what God has touched me with. Within…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-hill/i-m-one-of-the-most-immoral-perverted-mofos-around-but-test-my-heart/) [Nicole Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-hill/) > [“Masochism is a condition of perverted pain.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stefan-boldisor/masochism-is-a-condition-of-perverted-pain/) [Stefan Boldisor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stefan-boldisor/) > [“He looks kind, but he's really a huge sex fiend. He's perverted and spoiled and always jealous. And he hasn't called me for two…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yugi-yamada/he-looks-kind-but-he-s-really-a-huge-sex-fiend-he-s-perverted-and/) [Yugi Yamada](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yugi-yamada/) > [Evil is only good perverted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-wadsworth-longfellow/evil-is-only-good-perverted/) [Henry Wadsworth Longfellow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-wadsworth-longfellow/) > [I can't believe there's a website which counts down until I'm legal. It is quite sick and perverted when you think about it. These…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-church/i-can-t-believe-there-s-a-website-which-counts-down-until-i-m-legal/) [Charlotte Church](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-church/) > [A perverted moral judgment belongs to the dogmatic system.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-eliot/a-perverted-moral-judgment-belongs-to-the-dogmatic-system/) [George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-eliot/) > [You know it's a perverted crowd when a guy is screaming at you to take your shirt off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jared-leto/you-know-it-s-a-perverted-crowd-when-a-guy-is-screaming-at-you-to/) [Jared Leto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jared-leto/) > [Appalling numbers of youth have been led into a cynical ultra-sophisticated attitude which regards drinking as a badge of social aptitude, which makes a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-parker-yockey/appalling-numbers-of-youth-have-been-led-into-a-cynical-ultra/) [Francis Parker Yockey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-parker-yockey/) > [I don't know how you were diverted You were perverted too. I don't know how you were inverted No one alerted you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-harrison/i-don-t-know-how-you-were-diverted-you-were-perverted-too-i-don-t/) [George Harrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-harrison/) ## More by Michael Chabon > [Entertainment is a sacred pursuit when done well. When done well, it raises the quality of human life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/entertainment-is-a-sacred-pursuit-when-done-well-when-done-well-it/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“Anyway, it's a pretty good story," I said. "You have to admit." "Yeah?" He crumpled up the Kleenex, having dispatched the solitary tear. "You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/anyway-it-s-a-pretty-good-story-i-said-you-have-to-admit-yeah-he/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [There were so many Pittsburgh poets in my hallway that if, at that instant, a meteorite had come smashing through my roof, there would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/there-were-so-many-pittsburgh-poets-in-my-hallway-that-if-at-that/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“Badass.'" My grandfather sampled the flavor of the word. It did not seem to revolt him, but it was nothing he needed ever to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/badass-my-grandfather-sampled-the-flavor-of-the-word-it-did-not-seem/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [See you in the funny papers," he said. Jaunty, he reminded himself; always jaunty. In my panache is their hope for salvation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/see-you-in-the-funny-papers-he-said-jaunty-he-reminded-himself-always/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“I didn't want to be left alone with Timothy, not because I was afraid of him but because I was afraid that somebody would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/i-didn-t-want-to-be-left-alone-with-timothy-not-because-i-was-afraid/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“He had already seized this particular day once, but he was prepared, if need be, to go ahead and seize the motherfucker all over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/he-had-already-seized-this-particular-day-once-but-he-was-prepared-if/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“We figure he must have let him out. The perpetrator, I mean. He's blind and we figure he just wandered off and maybe got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/we-figure-he-must-have-let-him-out-the-perpetrator-i-mean-he-s-blind/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“Then I reminded myself that I was always willing to listen to arguments in favor of avoiding an unpleasant chore, and I shook my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/then-i-reminded-myself-that-i-was-always-willing-to-listen-to/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“Love great first lines and paragraphs. From The Yiddish Policemen's Union: Nine months Landsman's been flopping at the Hotel Zamenhof without any of his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/love-great-first-lines-and-paragraphs-from-the-yiddish-policemen-s/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“Life blew in gusts from the hole in the side of the elephant with a rank smell and a comic flatulence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/life-blew-in-gusts-from-the-hole-in-the-side-of-the-elephant-with-a/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [Not only would I never want to belong to any club that would have me for a member--if elected I would wear street shoes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/not-only-would-i-never-want-to-belong-to-any-club-that-would-have-me/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [That's the best thing about writing, when you're in that zone, you're porous, ready to absorb the solution.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/that-s-the-best-thing-about-writing-when-you-re-in-that-zone-you-re/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [Most science fiction seemed to be written for people who already liked science fiction; I wanted to write stories for anyone, anywhere, living at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/most-science-fiction-seemed-to-be-written-for-people-who-already/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [ “For as long as I could remember, I'd been making vague and confident assurances that any day I would finish the thing \[my book\].… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/for-as-long-as-i-could-remember-i-d-been-making-vague-and-confident/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) [Explore all 436 Michael Chabon quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) ## More High school quotes > [High school sucked. It was a universal truth, and whoever said these were supposed to be the best years of your life was probably…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kami-garcia/high-school-sucked-it-was-a-universal-truth-and-whoever-said-these/) [Kami Garcia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kami-garcia/) > [High school, going into my junior year, I kind of had the idea I was going to be the starting running back. I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saquon-barkley/high-school-going-into-my-junior-year-i-kind-of-had-the-idea-i-was/) [Saquon Barkley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saquon-barkley/) > [I was in high school and I had an independent album out, and we kept sending that out, and I was doing shows. No…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tyler-hilton/i-was-in-high-school-and-i-had-an-independent-album-out-and-we-kept/) [Tyler Hilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tyler-hilton/) > [I grew up in Synagogue in the boys' choir. We didn't listen to music in the house; only at temple. Then I went to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mandy-patinkin/i-grew-up-in-synagogue-in-the-boys-choir-we-didn-t-listen-to-music-in/) [Mandy Patinkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mandy-patinkin/) > [“This was going to be worse than the time I table danced in the diner in high school!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathy-bryson/this-was-going-to-be-worse-than-the-time-i-table-danced-in-the-diner/) [Kathy Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathy-bryson/) > [I remember throughout middle school and high school how excited my mom, sister and I would be when a UNC game was on TV.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harrison-barnes/i-remember-throughout-middle-school-and-high-school-how-excited-my/) [Harrison Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harrison-barnes/) > [Nothing teaches great writing like the very best books do. Yet, good teachers often help students cross that bridge, and I have to say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-glass/nothing-teaches-great-writing-like-the-very-best-books-do-yet-good/) [Julia Glass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-glass/) > [In high school, I did some musicals, but I never took acting until college. I was studying opera, classical voice, and a speech teacher…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/forest-whitaker/in-high-school-i-did-some-musicals-but-i-never-took-acting-until/) [Forest Whitaker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/forest-whitaker/) > [I have wrestled in almost every tournament in the world. I've won the Olympics, NCAAs, and World Championships, but none of those can truly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jordan-burroughs/i-have-wrestled-in-almost-every-tournament-in-the-world-i-ve-won-the/) [Jordan Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jordan-burroughs/) > [My mother worked in the white world, but I lived almost exclusively in a black world. I don't think I had ever seen a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-p-jones/my-mother-worked-in-the-white-world-but-i-lived-almost-exclusively-in/) [Edward P. Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-p-jones/) > [I was born in Cuba. At the age of 14 years of age I was involved in a revolution. We were suffering from a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-cruz/i-was-born-in-cuba-at-the-age-of-14-years-of-age-i-was-involved-in-a/) [Ted Cruz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-cruz/) > [“I swear that I will never cause trouble for anybody, as long as I live!! So please! Nobody cause any trouble for me, either!!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/minoru-furuya/i-swear-that-i-will-never-cause-trouble-for-anybody-as-long-as-i-live/) [Minoru Furuya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/minoru-furuya/) > [I was just putting way too much pressure on myself. I was just trying to get that validation from my dad. It got so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-griffey-jr/i-was-just-putting-way-too-much-pressure-on-myself-i-was-just-trying/) [Ken Griffey Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ken-griffey-jr/) > [“I’ve had boyfriends before, and frankly, each one was a disappointment. There was nothing horribly wrong with these boys. It was my fault. I’m…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/candace-bushnell/i-ve-had-boyfriends-before-and-frankly-each-one-was-a-disappointment/) [Candace Bushnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/candace-bushnell/) > [I was so shy. Instead of waiting in line with other kids at lunch, I'd go to a corner and buy a pretzel and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-facinelli/i-was-so-shy-instead-of-waiting-in-line-with-other-kids-at-lunch-i-d/) [Peter Facinelli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-facinelli/) [Browse all 7,108 High school quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/high-school/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“There had been a time in high school, see, when I wrestled with the possibility that I might be gay, a torturous six-month culmination of years of unpopularity and girllessness. At night I lay in bed and cooly informed myself that I was gay and that I had better get used to it. The locker room became a place of torment, full of exposed male genitalia that seemed to taunt me with my failure to avoid glancing at them, for a fraction of a second that might have seemed accidental but was, I recognized, a bitter symptom of my perversion. Bursting with typical fourteen-year-old desire, I attempted to focus it in succession on the thought of every boy I knew, hoping to find some outlet for my horniness, even if it had to be perverted, secret, and doomed to disappointment. Without exception these attempts failed to produce anything but bemusement, if not actual disgust. This crisis of self-esteem had been abruptly dispelled by the advent of Julie Lefkowitz, followed swiftly by her sister Robin, and then Sharon Horne and little Rose Fagan and Jennifer Schaeffer; but I never forgot my period of profound sexual doubt. 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