---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: A man must first despise himself, and…"
description: "\"A man must first despise himself, and then others will despise him.\" — Mencius"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/mencius-3576_despise_a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-the_781514.png"
---

#  A man must first despise himself, and then others will…

![“A man must first despise himself, and then others will despise him.” quote by Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/mencius-3576_despise_a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-the_781514.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/mencius-3576_despise_a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-the_781514.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/mencius-3576_despise_a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-the_781514.png)

> “A man must first despise himself, and then others will despise him.”

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Self‑contempt leads to others’ contempt; self‑respect is foundation for mutual respect.

**In simple terms:** Despising yourself invites others to despise you.

Key Takeaway

Cultivate self‑respect first.

Themes

self‑respect respect interpersonal

Mood

reflective serious

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

- leadership
- personal development
- relationships
- conflict resolution

Key Concepts

Confucianism psychology

Questions to Reflect On

- How does self‑respect affect how others treat you?
- Can you respect yourself without external validation?

A Different Perspective

If you lack self‑respect, others may still respect you.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Despise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despise/) [Despise Despise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despise-despise-6021233/) [Firsts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/) [Inspirational](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inspirational/) [Man Despise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/man-despise-3138330/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/)

## Related quotes

> [ “\[A\] nation must ravage itself before foreigners can ravage it, a man must despise himself before others can despise him.” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yukio-mishima/a-nation-must-ravage-itself-before-foreigners-can-ravage-it-a-man/)

[Yukio Mishima](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yukio-mishima/)

> [“Will any man despise me? Let him see to it. But I will see to it that I may not be found doing or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-aurelius/will-any-man-despise-me-let-him-see-to-it-but-i-will-see-to-it-that-i/)

[Marcus Aurelius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-aurelius/)

> [“I’m going to sell you as a pleasure slave to a man I despise”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-j-roberts/i-m-going-to-sell-you-as-a-pleasure-slave-to-a-man-i-despise/)

[C.J. Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-j-roberts/)

> [I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-wortley-montagu/i-despise-the-pleasure-of-pleasing-people-that-i-despise/)

[Mary Wortley Montagu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-wortley-montagu/)

> [With the single exception of Homer, there is no eminent writer, not even Sir Walter Scott, whom I can despise so entirely as I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-bernard-shaw/with-the-single-exception-of-homer-there-is-no-eminent-writer-not/)

[George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-bernard-shaw/)

> [I despise computers in many ways. I think they’re hopelessly underevolved and overrated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-eno/i-despise-computers-in-many-ways-i-think-they-re-hopelessly/)

[Brian Eno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-eno/)

> [I despise a person of little mind - one might as well not have any.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-dunham-kelley-hawkins/i-despise-a-person-of-little-mind-one-might-as-well-not-have-any/)

[Emma Dunham Kelley-Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-dunham-kelley-hawkins/)

> [Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/russians-not-only-vehemently-despise-blacks-they-believe-africa/)

[P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/)

> [If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you, here is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-carnegie/if-you-want-to-know-how-to-make-people-shun-you-and-laugh-at-you/)

[Dale Carnegie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-carnegie/)

> [I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/i-agree-that-biphobia-is-real-but-i-think-it-s-absolutely-worth/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [Everyone has conscience enough to hate; few have religion enough to love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-ward-beecher/everyone-has-conscience-enough-to-hate-few-have-religion-enough-to/)

[Henry Ward Beecher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-ward-beecher/)

> [Never despise a drink because it is easy to make and/or uses commercial mixes. Unquestioning devotion to authenticity is, in any department of life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kingsley-amis/never-despise-a-drink-because-it-is-easy-to-make-and-or-uses/)

[Kingsley Amis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kingsley-amis/)

> [“You don’t know what it’s like to worry you’ll start to despise the people who help you, the ones you should love, because they’re…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracy-guzeman/you-don-t-know-what-it-s-like-to-worry-you-ll-start-to-despise-the/)

[Tracy Guzeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracy-guzeman/)

> [It may be important to great thinkers to examine the world, to explain and despise it. But I think it is only important to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/it-may-be-important-to-great-thinkers-to-examine-the-world-to-explain/)

[Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/)

> [My whole life has conspired to bring me to this place, and I can’t despise my whole life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-kushner/my-whole-life-has-conspired-to-bring-me-to-this-place-and-i-can-t/)

[Tony Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-kushner/)

## More by Mencius

> [The fruit of humanity is devotion to one's parents. The fruit of righteousness is to respect one's elders. The fruit of wisdom is to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/the-fruit-of-humanity-is-devotion-to-one-s-parents-the-fruit-of/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [People are eager to comment on something when they themselves are not in the situation of doing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/people-are-eager-to-comment-on-something-when-they-themselves-are-not/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [Truth uttered before its time is dangerous.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/truth-uttered-before-its-time-is-dangerous/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [Only when someone refuses to do certain things will he be capable of doing great things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/only-when-someone-refuses-to-do-certain-things-will-he-be-capable-of/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [The disease of men is that they neglect their own fields and go to weed the fields of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/the-disease-of-men-is-that-they-neglect-their-own-fields-and-go-to/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [People can have a long-term life plan only if they know their private property is secure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/people-can-have-a-long-term-life-plan-only-if-they-know-their-private/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [Is it only the mouth and belly which are injured by hunger and thirst? Men's minds are also injured by them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/is-it-only-the-mouth-and-belly-which-are-injured-by-hunger-and-thirst/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [Mankind fears an evil man but heaven does not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/mankind-fears-an-evil-man-but-heaven-does-not/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [Water indeed will flow indifferently to the east or west, but will it flow indifferently up or down? The tendency of our nature to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/water-indeed-will-flow-indifferently-to-the-east-or-west-but-will-it/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [When the men of antiquity realized their wishes, benefits were conferred by them on the people. If they did not realize their wishes, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/when-the-men-of-antiquity-realized-their-wishes-benefits-were/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [If the King loves music, it is well with the land.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/if-the-king-loves-music-it-is-well-with-the-land/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [The poor attend to their own virtue in solitude.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/the-poor-attend-to-their-own-virtue-in-solitude/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [There is the work of great men and there is the work of little men. Therefore it is said, 'Some labor with their minds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/there-is-the-work-of-great-men-and-there-is-the-work-of-little-men/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [There is a power in everything; it is the job of the artist to determine it and express it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/there-is-a-power-in-everything-it-is-the-job-of-the-artist-to/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

> [All people have the common desire to be elevated in honour, but all people have something still more elevated in themselves without knowing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/all-people-have-the-common-desire-to-be-elevated-in-honour-but-all/)

[Mencius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

[Explore all 125 Mencius quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/)

## More Despise quotes

> [My whole life has conspired to bring me to this place, and I can’t despise my whole life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-kushner/my-whole-life-has-conspired-to-bring-me-to-this-place-and-i-can-t/)

[Tony Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-kushner/)

> [It may be important to great thinkers to examine the world, to explain and despise it. But I think it is only important to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/it-may-be-important-to-great-thinkers-to-examine-the-world-to-explain/)

[Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/)

> [“You don’t know what it’s like to worry you’ll start to despise the people who help you, the ones you should love, because they’re…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracy-guzeman/you-don-t-know-what-it-s-like-to-worry-you-ll-start-to-despise-the/)

[Tracy Guzeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracy-guzeman/)

> [Never despise a drink because it is easy to make and/or uses commercial mixes. Unquestioning devotion to authenticity is, in any department of life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kingsley-amis/never-despise-a-drink-because-it-is-easy-to-make-and-or-uses/)

[Kingsley Amis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kingsley-amis/)

> [Everyone has conscience enough to hate; few have religion enough to love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-ward-beecher/everyone-has-conscience-enough-to-hate-few-have-religion-enough-to/)

[Henry Ward Beecher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-ward-beecher/)

> [I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/i-agree-that-biphobia-is-real-but-i-think-it-s-absolutely-worth/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

> [If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you, here is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-carnegie/if-you-want-to-know-how-to-make-people-shun-you-and-laugh-at-you/)

[Dale Carnegie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-carnegie/)

> [Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/russians-not-only-vehemently-despise-blacks-they-believe-africa/)

[P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/)

> [I despise a person of little mind - one might as well not have any.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-dunham-kelley-hawkins/i-despise-a-person-of-little-mind-one-might-as-well-not-have-any/)

[Emma Dunham Kelley-Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-dunham-kelley-hawkins/)

> [I despise computers in many ways. I think they’re hopelessly underevolved and overrated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-eno/i-despise-computers-in-many-ways-i-think-they-re-hopelessly/)

[Brian Eno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-eno/)

> [With the single exception of Homer, there is no eminent writer, not even Sir Walter Scott, whom I can despise so entirely as I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-bernard-shaw/with-the-single-exception-of-homer-there-is-no-eminent-writer-not/)

[George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-bernard-shaw/)

> [I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-wortley-montagu/i-despise-the-pleasure-of-pleasing-people-that-i-despise/)

[Mary Wortley Montagu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-wortley-montagu/)

> [It was beautiful and rare, and you have every right to despise me." She stood pressed to the wall, not moving. "When you came…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayn-rand/it-was-beautiful-and-rare-and-you-have-every-right-to-despise-me-she/)

[Ayn Rand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayn-rand/)

> [“I'm really starting to despise good -nights and good -byes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mi-juan-yu-tu/i-m-really-starting-to-despise-good-nights-and-good-byes/)

[Mi Juan Yu tu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mi-juan-yu-tu/)

> [But miserable most, to love unloved? This you should pity rather than despise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/but-miserable-most-to-love-unloved-this-you-should-pity-rather-than/)

[William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/)

[Browse all 918 Despise quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despise/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "A man must first despise himself, and then others will despise him.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Mencius"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-then-others-will-despise-him/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Despise"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-then-others-will-despise-him/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/mencius-3576_despise_a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-the_781514.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/mencius-3576_despise_a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-the_781514.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/mencius-3576_despise_a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-the_781514.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“A man must first despise himself, and then others will despise him.” — Mencius",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Mencius",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mencius/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "A man must first despise himself,...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-then-others-will-despise-him/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mencius/a-man-must-first-despise-himself-and-then-others-will-despise-him/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
