--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Real power comes when we stop holding…" description: "\"Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.\" — Melody Beattie" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fa/melody-beattie-1895_feelings_real-power-comes-when-we-stop-holding-ot_1944656.png" --- # Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible… ![“Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.” quote by Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fa/melody-beattie-1895_feelings_real-power-comes-when-we-stop-holding-ot_1944656.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fa/melody-beattie-1895_feelings_real-power-comes-when-we-stop-holding-ot_1944656.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fa/melody-beattie-1895_feelings_real-power-comes-when-we-stop-holding-ot_1944656.png) > “Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.” [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. True power arises from owning our emotions rather than blaming others. **In simple terms:** Own your feelings. Key Takeaway Take responsibility for your emotions. Themes personal growth emotional responsibility empowerment Mood reflective empowering Type self-help psychological When to use this quote - therapy sessions - conflict resolution - personal development - leadership coaching Key Concepts psychology self-awareness Questions to Reflect On - How can you practice emotional ownership daily? - What habits help avoid blaming others? A Different Perspective Self-blame can still persist despite responsibility. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Holding Responsible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/holding-responsible-2044678/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Pain Responsibility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain-responsibility-3119803/) [Power](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/power/) [Real](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real/) [Real power](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-power/) [Responsibility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/responsibility/) [Responsibility Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/responsibility-feelings-265958/) [Responsible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/responsible/) [Responsible Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/responsible-pain-2808178/) [Taking responsibility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/taking-responsibility/) ## Related quotes > [Taking complete ownership of your outcomes by holding no one but yourself responsible for them is the most powerful thing you can do to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-w-keller/taking-complete-ownership-of-your-outcomes-by-holding-no-one-but/) [Gary W. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-w-keller/) > [“it is neither helpful nor accurate to assume that other people are always responsible for our pain.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-armstrong/it-is-neither-helpful-nor-accurate-to-assume-that-other-people-are/) [Karen Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-armstrong/) > [“The great thing about refusing to feel feelings is that, once you’ve denied them, you don’t have to take responsibility for them. Your feelings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-webb/the-great-thing-about-refusing-to-feel-feelings-is-that-once-you-ve/) [Robert Webb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-webb/) > [“Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy." Milton Erickson”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milton-erickson/life-will-bring-you-pain-all-by-itself-your-responsibility-is-to/) [Milton Erickson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milton-erickson/) > [Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-will-bring-you-pain-all-by-itself-your-responsibility-is-to-2/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“People and situations always show us what we need to see and learn about ourselves, and when we take responsibility for our own feelings,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eliza-mada-dalian/people-and-situations-always-show-us-what-we-need-to-see-and-learn/) [Eliza Mada Dalian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eliza-mada-dalian/) > [I know when to say no and when to say yes. I take responsibility for my choices. The victim? She went somewhere else. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/i-know-when-to-say-no-and-when-to-say-yes-i-take-responsibility-for/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [Life is always moving, changing, shifting into its next shape. The movement is natural. It is how we evolve. Let the shifts happen. 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Lynn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-w-lynn/) > [Even a moderniser like Alexander II - who emancipated the serfs in 1861 - had no intention of devolving real power.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saul-david/even-a-moderniser-like-alexander-ii-who-emancipated-the-serfs-in-1861/) [Saul David](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saul-david/) > [Don't you understand anything? Isn't it absolutely essential to keep a fierce Left and a fierce Right, both on their toes and each terrified…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis/don-t-you-understand-anything-isn-t-it-absolutely-essential-to-keep-a/) [C. S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis/) > [I don't feel that the conductor has real power. The orchestra has the power, and every member of it knows instantaneously if you're just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/itzhak-perlman/i-don-t-feel-that-the-conductor-has-real-power-the-orchestra-has-the/) [Itzhak Perlman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/itzhak-perlman/) > [“When you have no real power, go public—really public. The public is where the real power is. Those”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-warren/when-you-have-no-real-power-go-public-really-public-the-public-is/) [Elizabeth Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-warren/) > [Progressive Conservative candidates from Quebec want to exert real power in Ottawa, not simply be content with playing a secondary role.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-campbell/progressive-conservative-candidates-from-quebec-want-to-exert-real/) [Kim Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-campbell/) ## More by Melody Beattie > [Remember to be kind. Remember to be loving. Remember to feel all your feelings and to take care of yourself. But most of all,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/remember-to-be-kind-remember-to-be-loving-remember-to-feel-all-your/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [“Frequently, when I suggest to people that they detach from a person or problem, they recoil in horror. “Oh, no!” they say. “I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/frequently-when-i-suggest-to-people-that-they-detach-from-a-person-or/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [...the plan will happen in spite of us, not because of us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/the-plan-will-happen-in-spite-of-us-not-because-of-us/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. 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It's what we believe is true that isn't that does the damage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/it-s-not-what-we-don-t-know-that-hurts-us-people-say-it-s-what-we/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [“We don’t have to be so afraid of people. They are just people like us.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/we-don-t-have-to-be-so-afraid-of-people-they-are-just-people-like-us/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [Whatever we try to control does have control over us and our life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/whatever-we-try-to-control-does-have-control-over-us-and-our-life/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [“I want to thank each person who has the courage to push through and past the set of coping behaviors we’ve come to label…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/i-want-to-thank-each-person-who-has-the-courage-to-push-through-and/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever, it is for the present moment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/acceptance-is-the-magic-that-makes-change-possible-it-is-not-forever/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [Don't violate your own code of values and ethics, but don't waste energy trying to make other people violate theirs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/don-t-violate-your-own-code-of-values-and-ethics-but-don-t-waste/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [It's our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/it-s-our-job-to-first-make-ourselves-feel-better-and-then-make/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [Panic, not the task, is the enemy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/panic-not-the-task-is-the-enemy/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [Today I will tell myself that I'm lovable. 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