--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What shocked me was three different…" description: "\"What shocked me was three different anti-prostitution feminists asking me to justify that I had been a sex worker, to prove it. That either I hadn't do..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d9/melissa-gira-grant-15196_different_what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti_2077475.jpg" --- # What shocked me was three different anti-prostitution… ![“What shocked me was three different anti-prostitution feminists asking me to justify that I had been a sex worker, to prove it. That either I hadn't done enough sex work by their standards, or I hadn't done the right kind in order to have the right to speak about it. I couldn't understand them…” quote by Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d9/melissa-gira-grant-15196_different_what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti_2077475.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d9/melissa-gira-grant-15196_different_what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti_2077475.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d9/melissa-gira-grant-15196_different_what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti_2077475.jpg) > “What shocked me was three different anti-prostitution feminists asking me to justify that I had been a sex worker, to prove it. That either I hadn't done enough sex work by their standards, or I hadn't done the right kind in order to have the right to speak about it. I couldn't understand them. I'm not speaking for you. I'm not speaking "for" anyone. I'm trying to put together this picture of the different forces that are producing a result in the lives of sex workers. You can't contest the fact that tons of people are going to jail and experiencing violence.” [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker critiques feminists who demand proof of sex work experience before allowing a voice, highlighting gatekeeping and the broader harms faced by sex workers. **In simple terms:** Gatekeeping feminists silence sex workers and ignore systemic violence. Key Takeaway Recognize and amplify lived experiences without demanding proof. Themes feminism sex work gatekeeping justice voice Mood frustrated determined Type critical analytical When to use this quote - policy advocacy - support groups - public awareness campaigns Key Concepts intersectionality power dynamics authenticity Questions to Reflect On - How can we ensure inclusive advocacy for sex workers? - What criteria should determine who speaks on behalf of marginalized groups? A Different Perspective The argument may overlook nuanced perspectives within feminist movements. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Feminism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminism/) [Feminist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminist/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Prostitution](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/prostitution/) [Violence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/violence/) ## Related quotes > [I think the anti-prostitution feminists need to do some consciousness-raising amongst themselves about their feelings. But that's a different political activity. Asking ourselves, how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/i-think-the-anti-prostitution-feminists-need-to-do-some-consciousness/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [I've moved away from writing about and describing actual experiences of sex work, whether mine or anybody else's, because the culture is obsessed with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/i-ve-moved-away-from-writing-about-and-describing-actual-experiences/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [I think sex work gets over-mystified and overcomplicated because it's about sexuality, and women's sexuality in general. What strikes me when I look at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/i-think-sex-work-gets-over-mystified-and-overcomplicated-because-it-s/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [I hesitate talking about a program for change because we're in this moment where no one is listening to sex workers about how things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/i-hesitate-talking-about-a-program-for-change-because-we-re-in-this/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [Say you're a sex worker and your partner knows you're a sex worker, but you're not out to your family. That could be very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/say-you-re-a-sex-worker-and-your-partner-knows-you-re-a-sex-worker/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [“Feminists are asking women and men not to buy into patriarchal systems that destroy them both. Feminism comes to bring both men and women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-d-chittister/feminists-are-asking-women-and-men-not-to-buy-into-patriarchal/) [Joan D. Chittister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-d-chittister/) > [Feminists are asking the practical questions about how you want to live your life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomi-alderman/feminists-are-asking-the-practical-questions-about-how-you-want-to/) [Naomi Alderman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomi-alderman/) > [Anything that is going to be good for sex workers is going to be good for women across the board. Less women in jail…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/anything-that-is-going-to-be-good-for-sex-workers-is-going-to-be-good/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [Most of the time, people are not actually concerned with prostitution and sex work. They're concerned about seeing people who they think are prostitutes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/most-of-the-time-people-are-not-actually-concerned-with-prostitution/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [The biggest difference in what's going on in New Zealand versus the rest of the world, aside from the decriminalization of sex work, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/the-biggest-difference-in-what-s-going-on-in-new-zealand-versus-the/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [Even at legal brothels, sex workers have very little power and control over their workplace. They might have power with their customers on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/even-at-legal-brothels-sex-workers-have-very-little-power-and-control/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [In New Zealand, sex workers are regarded as workers, as people who are members of the community, people who have a stake in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/in-new-zealand-sex-workers-are-regarded-as-workers-as-people-who-are/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [In the current situation with criminalization, we've created situations where sex workers have very little power and control over their lives. Increasing one group…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/in-the-current-situation-with-criminalization-we-ve-created/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [It's actually not much of a risk to say, "I don't think we should put sex workers in jail." That's a decent, normal thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/it-s-actually-not-much-of-a-risk-to-say-i-don-t-think-we-should-put/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [We hear from sex workers who have through their own volition become media figures, or have despite their own wishes become media figures. Like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/we-hear-from-sex-workers-who-have-through-their-own-volition-become/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) ## More by Melissa Gira Grant > [I went to college in Amherst and lived in Northampton for many years and we had our quaint little feminist sex toy shop that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/i-went-to-college-in-amherst-and-lived-in-northampton-for-many-years/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [We hear from sex workers who have through their own volition become media figures, or have despite their own wishes become media figures. Like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/we-hear-from-sex-workers-who-have-through-their-own-volition-become/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [One person was basically saying that feminists aren't interested in criminalizing prostitutes, that they don't want to do that. I responded that whether or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/one-person-was-basically-saying-that-feminists-aren-t-interested-in/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [Our feelings alone don't change what happens with the police, what happens in jail, what happens when someone tries to go to the welfare…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/our-feelings-alone-don-t-change-what-happens-with-the-police-what/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [It's actually not much of a risk to say, "I don't think we should put sex workers in jail." That's a decent, normal thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/it-s-actually-not-much-of-a-risk-to-say-i-don-t-think-we-should-put/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [In the current situation with criminalization, we've created situations where sex workers have very little power and control over their lives. Increasing one group…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/in-the-current-situation-with-criminalization-we-ve-created/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [Almost everything I've learned about journalism has been from other friends who are journalists, taking advantage of the money I hope they don't think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/almost-everything-i-ve-learned-about-journalism-has-been-from-other/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [I remember being in high school in the '90s, and even then somehow hearing about the the Canadian Supreme Court's Butler decision which was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/i-remember-being-in-high-school-in-the-90s-and-even-then-somehow/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [Kristin Gwynne has been writing some great stuff about the sexually violent element of "stop-and-frisk." This isn't just "turn out your pockets." This is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/kristin-gwynne-has-been-writing-some-great-stuff-about-the-sexually/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [In New Zealand, sex workers are regarded as workers, as people who are members of the community, people who have a stake in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/in-new-zealand-sex-workers-are-regarded-as-workers-as-people-who-are/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [Even at legal brothels, sex workers have very little power and control over their workplace. They might have power with their customers on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/even-at-legal-brothels-sex-workers-have-very-little-power-and-control/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [I've moved away from writing about and describing actual experiences of sex work, whether mine or anybody else's, because the culture is obsessed with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/i-ve-moved-away-from-writing-about-and-describing-actual-experiences/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [I have to do this all the time - choosing what to print based on how it might come back to harm people from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/i-have-to-do-this-all-the-time-choosing-what-to-print-based-on-how-it/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [When I interviewed the evangelical Christian youth group who were protesting the Village Voice, I wanted them to feel they could freely tell me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/when-i-interviewed-the-evangelical-christian-youth-group-who-were/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) > [Say you're a sex worker and your partner knows you're a sex worker, but you're not out to your family. That could be very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/say-you-re-a-sex-worker-and-your-partner-knows-you-re-a-sex-worker/) [Melissa Gira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) [Explore all 44 Melissa Gira Grant quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/) ## More Different quotes > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/) [Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/) > [I've seen a lot of people come out of Carol City, but I had this distinct vision for Carol City, just me coming out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denzel-curry/i-ve-seen-a-lot-of-people-come-out-of-carol-city-but-i-had-this/) [Denzel Curry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denzel-curry/) > [Well, The Day the Earth Caught Fire was a story... I don't if anybody knows what it is but it was about... in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/val-guest/well-the-day-the-earth-caught-fire-was-a-story-i-don-t-if-anybody/) [Val Guest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/val-guest/) > [Some shows just go away - and that's fine. They serve their purpose and their entertainment value, but there are shows that touch people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-cudlitz/some-shows-just-go-away-and-that-s-fine-they-serve-their-purpose-and/) [Michael Cudlitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-cudlitz/) > [I love casting against type and doing things you wouldn't expect, because I think you get more interesting performances that way. Hollywood loves to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-s-goyer/i-love-casting-against-type-and-doing-things-you-wouldn-t-expect/) [David S. Goyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-s-goyer/) > [One of the reasons that I do a lot of different kinds of pictures is because I learn a lot when I'm doing them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-jason-leigh/one-of-the-reasons-that-i-do-a-lot-of-different-kinds-of-pictures-is/) [Jennifer Jason Leigh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-jason-leigh/) > [I painted the words "GREAT ADVENTURE" in Beijing, Dallas, San Francisco, Copenhagen, and Japan. What it means to me is completely different to everybody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-eine/i-painted-the-words-great-adventure-in-beijing-dallas-san-francisco/) [Ben Eine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-eine/) > [I'm 38 and I'm single, and I'm having my most intense and gratifying relationship with a dog. But we all learn about love in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-knapp/i-m-38-and-i-m-single-and-i-m-having-my-most-intense-and-gratifying/) [Caroline Knapp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-knapp/) > [I think a business guy is different from an artist. They walk different paths. Artists create the best outputs when they're having fun. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/g-dragon/i-think-a-business-guy-is-different-from-an-artist-they-walk/) [G-Dragon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/g-dragon/) > [If you have a different mindset, you will have a different outcome: if you make different choices from your peers, your life will then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-ma/if-you-have-a-different-mindset-you-will-have-a-different-outcome-if/) [Jack Ma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-ma/) > [Suffering did different things to different people...Some souls became tempered, unshakable in their faith, while others became twisted and mis-shapen, throwing off all connection…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomi-ragen/suffering-did-different-things-to-different-people-some-souls-became/) [Naomi Ragen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomi-ragen/) > [America, you're sending girls a mixed message. On one hand, you're saying to have positive body image and love who we are; on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adora-svitak/america-you-re-sending-girls-a-mixed-message-on-one-hand-you-re/) [Adora Svitak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adora-svitak/) > [I always aspired to do something different.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayushmann-khurrana/i-always-aspired-to-do-something-different/) [Ayushmann Khurrana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayushmann-khurrana/) > [The talk shows in the States want celebrities, not authors. In France, it is different; writers are called upon to comment on everything. They…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edmund-white/the-talk-shows-in-the-states-want-celebrities-not-authors-in-france/) [Edmund White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edmund-white/) > [My favorite job is the next one. Its such a gratifying experience getting to creatively keep trying something new and push things in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-craig-smith/my-favorite-job-is-the-next-one-its-such-a-gratifying-experience/) [Roger Craig Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-craig-smith/) Browse all 28,697 Different quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "What shocked me was three different anti-prostitution feminists asking me to justify that I had been a sex worker, to prove it. That either I hadn't done enough sex work by their standards, or I hadn't done the right kind in order to have the right to speak about it. I couldn't understand them. I'm not speaking for you. I'm not speaking \"for\" anyone. I'm trying to put together this picture of the different forces that are producing a result in the lives of sex workers. You can't contest the fact that tons of people are going to jail and experiencing violence.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Melissa Gira Grant" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti-prostitution-feminists/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Different" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti-prostitution-feminists/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d9/melissa-gira-grant-15196_different_what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti_2077475.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d9/melissa-gira-grant-15196_different_what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti_2077475.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d9/melissa-gira-grant-15196_different_what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti_2077475.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What shocked me was three different anti-prostitution feminists asking me to justify that I had been a sex…” — Melissa Gira Grant", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Melissa Gira Grant", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gira-grant/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "What shocked me was three different...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti-prostitution-feminists/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gira-grant/what-shocked-me-was-three-different-anti-prostitution-feminists/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```