---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It was the first time anyone had broken…"
description: "\"“It was the first time anyone had broken up with me. It was a thing I had successfully avoided for thirty-two years.”\" — Melissa Febos"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e64/melissa-febos-7449_avoided_it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken_259599.png"
---

#  It was the first time anyone had broken up with me. It was…

![“It was the first time anyone had broken up with me. It was a thing I had successfully avoided for thirty-two years.” quote by Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e64/melissa-febos-7449_avoided_it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken_259599.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e64/melissa-febos-7449_avoided_it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken_259599.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e64/melissa-febos-7449_avoided_it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken_259599.png)

> ““It was the first time anyone had broken up with me. It was a thing I had successfully avoided for thirty-two years.””

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Breaking a long‑standing avoidance of breakup reveals personal growth and confronting fear.

**In simple terms:** Facing breakup after years of avoidance.

Key Takeaway

Embrace vulnerability and confront fear.

Themes

breakup avoidance growth

Mood

reflective empathetic

Type

personal philosophical

When to use this quote

- relationships
- self‑discovery
- therapy
- life transitions

Key Concepts

personal development fear confrontation

Questions to Reflect On

- What fears have you avoided?
- How can you prepare for inevitable endings?

A Different Perspective

Avoidance may delay necessary change and cause lingering anxiety.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/)

## Related quotes

> [Nobody knows the trouble I've seen: even less, the trouble I've successfully avoided.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/nobody-knows-the-trouble-i-ve-seen-even-less-the-trouble-i-ve/)

[Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/)

> [“I have successfully avoided enjoying opera all my life. -quoted in Entertainment Weeky, http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20548... ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-sondheim/i-have-successfully-avoided-enjoying-opera-all-my-life-quoted-in/)

[Stephen Sondheim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-sondheim/)

> [The excess of our youth are checks written against our age and they are payable with interest thirty years later.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-caleb-colton/the-excess-of-our-youth-are-checks-written-against-our-age-and-they/)

[Charles Caleb Colton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-caleb-colton/)

> [A comedy can actually get funnier and funnier. Even though you know the joke, you enjoy it so much, it's the facial expression, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eli-roth/a-comedy-can-actually-get-funnier-and-funnier-even-though-you-know/)

[Eli Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eli-roth/)

> [The only President who clearly died of overwork was Polk, and that was a long time ago. Hoover, who worked intensely and humorlessly as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-m-schlesinger-jr/the-only-president-who-clearly-died-of-overwork-was-polk-and-that-was/)

[Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-m-schlesinger-jr/)

> [I love fashion because it's plugged into the zeitgeist, so it's always changing. Thirty years ago, I could never have predicted I'd be where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kors/i-love-fashion-because-it-s-plugged-into-the-zeitgeist-so-it-s-always/)

[Michael Kors](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kors/)

> [For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bayazid-bastami/for-thirty-years-i-sought-god-but-when-i-looked-carefully-i-found/)

[Bayazid Bastami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bayazid-bastami/)

> [Anything with the power to make you laugh over thirty years later isn’t a waste of time. I think something like that is very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/anything-with-the-power-to-make-you-laugh-over-thirty-years-later-isn/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

> [You take a look at the history of African Americans in the US. There's been about thirty years of relative freedom. There was a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noam-chomsky/you-take-a-look-at-the-history-of-african-americans-in-the-us-there-s/)

[Noam Chomsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noam-chomsky/)

> [Dr Dean Burk, who has spent more than fifty years in cancer research, mainly at the National Cancer Institute states: 'More people have died…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-burk/dr-dean-burk-who-has-spent-more-than-fifty-years-in-cancer-research/)

[Dean Burk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-burk/)

> [What'll we do with ourselves this afternoon? And the day after that, and the next thirty years?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/what-ll-we-do-with-ourselves-this-afternoon-and-the-day-after-that/)

[F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/)

> [In 1986, I was asked by the then-Dean of Science at the University of British Columbia, Dr. R.C. Miller, Jr., to establish a new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-smith/in-1986-i-was-asked-by-the-then-dean-of-science-at-the-university-of/)

[Michael Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-smith/)

> [For me, the most relevant factor in my ability to perform well on the rock has to do with my love of climbing. After…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynn-hill/for-me-the-most-relevant-factor-in-my-ability-to-perform-well-on-the/)

[Lynn Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynn-hill/)

> [ \[When her daughter suggested the President refer in his conversation with foreign dignitaries about lawn care to 'fertilizer' instead of to 'manure':\] But remember,… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bess-truman/when-her-daughter-suggested-the-president-refer-in-his-conversation/)

[Bess Truman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bess-truman/)

> [It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping, uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just as you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-not-like-studying-german-where-you-mull-along-in-a-groping/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

## More by Melissa Febos

> [Letting go of the cozy stories you've been carrying around is devastating. But there's more room for new stuff after you do it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/letting-go-of-the-cozy-stories-you-ve-been-carrying-around-is/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [When you conceal inner reality, this pressure builds. You often don't expose yourself until it reaches extremity, a breaking point, and what emerges is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/when-you-conceal-inner-reality-this-pressure-builds-you-often-don-t/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [I can only see right in front of me when I'm writing, you know? I never think of it as raw or personal or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/i-can-only-see-right-in-front-of-me-when-i-m-writing-you-know-i-never/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [“I have always been afraid to have children. I didn't want to give them the parts of me--the hurtling hunger, the shame--but now I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/i-have-always-been-afraid-to-have-children-i-didn-t-want-to-give-them/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [“There are still times when he and I fall into our respective labyrinths. I no longer believe that anyone but ourselves can lead us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/there-are-still-times-when-he-and-i-fall-into-our-respective/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [I think we all are born inside of our parents' narratives. We stay there for a good while. We are taught their narratives about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/i-think-we-all-are-born-inside-of-our-parents-narratives-we-stay/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [“Maybe that's all bravery is: when your hunger is greater than your fear. I resist the implication that bravery is noble. I must face…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/maybe-that-s-all-bravery-is-when-your-hunger-is-greater-than-your/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [“I have always enjoyed watching women dress. The appeal isn't sexual. Most girls' first glimpse of private female life is watching their mothers dress…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/i-have-always-enjoyed-watching-women-dress-the-appeal-isn-t-sexual/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [I can still discern people's weaknesses, but it doesn't make me want to exploit them; it makes me want to hug them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/i-can-still-discern-people-s-weaknesses-but-it-doesn-t-make-me-want/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [“There is a moment in your 20s when you know what it means to love rightly, but not how to do it, and then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/there-is-a-moment-in-your-20s-when-you-know-what-it-means-to-love/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [“The labyrinth, after all, is Sarah's creation. She calls upon the Goblin King. And this is the biggest difference between my brother's afflictions and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/the-labyrinth-after-all-is-sarah-s-creation-she-calls-upon-the-goblin/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [“I want to tell her that darkness is not bad. It is only the place we can't see yet.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/i-want-to-tell-her-that-darkness-is-not-bad-it-is-only-the-place-we/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [I made a conscious decision when I was writing that book to depict in real time how I treated it, and how I thought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/i-made-a-conscious-decision-when-i-was-writing-that-book-to-depict-in/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [“I only wanted to know where I ended and everything else began, and I still do, in these oceanic days.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/i-only-wanted-to-know-where-i-ended-and-everything-else-began-and-i/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

> [“It’s the oldest lesson. The first lesson. It's like the first noble truth of Buddhism - there's going to be suffering, and that's okay.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/it-s-the-oldest-lesson-the-first-lesson-it-s-like-the-first-noble/)

[Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

[Explore all 91 Melissa Febos quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/)

## More Avoided quotes

> [I avoided nudity unless a film couldn't be told without those scenes. If you look at my films, few of them have that element,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greta-scacchi/i-avoided-nudity-unless-a-film-couldn-t-be-told-without-those-scenes/)

[Greta Scacchi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greta-scacchi/)

> [Among many other weighty objections to the Measure, it has been suggested, that it has a tendency to introduce religious disputes into the Army,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-washington/among-many-other-weighty-objections-to-the-measure-it-has-been/)

[George Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-washington/)

> [Poetry in love is no more to be avoided than jealousy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-wycherley/poetry-in-love-is-no-more-to-be-avoided-than-jealousy/)

[William Wycherley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-wycherley/)

> [Naive optimism and pervasive pessimism are both to be avoided, therefore. It's not an easy balance to maintain, to be asked to work away…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-a-maxwell/naive-optimism-and-pervasive-pessimism-are-both-to-be-avoided/)

[Neal A. Maxwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-a-maxwell/)

> [“war is not so to be avoided, but is only deferred to your disadvantage”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/niccolo-machiavelli/war-is-not-so-to-be-avoided-but-is-only-deferred-to-your-disadvantage/)

[Niccolò Machiavelli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/niccolo-machiavelli/)

> [I read actual physical books and have thus far avoided the electronic lure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khaled-hosseini/i-read-actual-physical-books-and-have-thus-far-avoided-the-electronic/)

[Khaled Hosseini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khaled-hosseini/)

> [Usually I avoided college students, whom I considered brutal, wrapped up in themselves, particularly in their youth, in which they found material for drama…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/usually-i-avoided-college-students-whom-i-considered-brutal-wrapped/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Specialness as a primary mode of death transcendence takes a number of other maladaptive forms. The drive for power is not uncommonly motivated by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/specialness-as-a-primary-mode-of-death-transcendence-takes-a-number/)

[Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/)

> [I've always avoided publicity. I've never been good copy at any stage of my life. I don't strive for it, because I don't think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-noll/i-ve-always-avoided-publicity-i-ve-never-been-good-copy-at-any-stage/)

[Chuck Noll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-noll/)

> [“Adversity Isn’t to Be Avoided”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miles-anthony-smith/adversity-isn-t-to-be-avoided/)

[Miles Anthony Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miles-anthony-smith/)

> [If in the words which the Secretary of State has just used, the use of a nuclear weapon is to be avoided 'at all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enoch-powell/if-in-the-words-which-the-secretary-of-state-has-just-used-the-use-of/)

[Enoch Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/enoch-powell/)

> [I've created a narrative of the world. I live in the world - tenuously, most times. I've avoided the digital world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-ellroy/i-ve-created-a-narrative-of-the-world-i-live-in-the-world-tenuously/)

[James Ellroy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-ellroy/)

> [Against specious appearances we must set clear convictions, bright and ready for use. When death appears as an evil, we ought immediately to remember…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/against-specious-appearances-we-must-set-clear-convictions-bright-and/)

[Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/)

> [Pound had argued - and Eliot had helped him prove - that a poem could be sustained by memorable moments. Olson proved that it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clive-james/pound-had-argued-and-eliot-had-helped-him-prove-that-a-poem-could-be/)

[Clive James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clive-james/)

> [Never inject a man into the top, if it can be avoided. In a big organization, to have to do that, I think, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfred-p-sloan/never-inject-a-man-into-the-top-if-it-can-be-avoided-in-a-big/)

[Alfred P. Sloan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfred-p-sloan/)

Browse all 470 Avoided quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“It was the first time anyone had broken up with me. It was a thing I had successfully avoided for thirty-two years.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Melissa Febos"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken-up-with-me-it-was-a-thing-i/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Avoided"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken-up-with-me-it-was-a-thing-i/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e64/melissa-febos-7449_avoided_it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken_259599.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e64/melissa-febos-7449_avoided_it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken_259599.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e64/melissa-febos-7449_avoided_it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken_259599.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“It was the first time anyone had broken up with me. It was a thing I had successfully avoided for thirty-two…” — Melissa Febos",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Melissa Febos",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“It was the first time anyone...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken-up-with-me-it-was-a-thing-i/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/it-was-the-first-time-anyone-had-broken-up-with-me-it-was-a-thing-i/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
